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Typing While Tired
Typing While Tired

In college I had a fair number of all nighters and usually had the tv going to help keep me up and help with concentration. Once a couple weeks after submitting an essay for a political science class I noticed that the message I sent with it to my professor went something like: "attached is my water for Italian cooking". My essay was completely fine and had nothing to do with Italy. I guess my brain just turned off as soon as I'd attached the paper and there must have been some cooking related infomercial on tv while I sent it.

TSA, Not T & A
TSA, Not T & A

Was taking my belt off at airport security. After I unbuckled, I momentarily thought I was in the bathroom and started unzipping.

Stopped myself half a second before I pulled everything down.

F-Bomb
F-Bomb

The name of the place I work at begins with an "F". I was chatting with one of my coworkers who was telling me how she runs 10 miles or so every morning as the phone was ringing. What was going through my head was "f$%# that." So when I answered the phone I said,

"F$%#, this is Travis how can I help you?"

Proctologist Exam
Proctologist Exam

My husband and I had an inside joke. Whenever someone lost something, the other person always asked, "have you checked inside your butt?"

I was in a meeting at work (conservative and traditional corporate office) one day and a coworker said, "I can't find my pen."

Without any thought or hesitation I quickly responded, "have you checked inside your butt?" As soon as I said it, I snapped back to reality and realized I was at work.

As you can imagine, everyone went silent and stared at me as my face turned bright red.

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