Children Of Strict Parents Share The Weirdest Things They've Gotten In Trouble For

They say our parents have our best interests at heart.

We say, punishing us for every small misstep is actually extremely detrimental to our psyches. But nobody listens.

Parents that take disciplinary action against their children for small things build a fear of living in the world into their child, who internalizes that not being perfect is met with worse-case-scenario fiascos. That severely changes the course of the child's life.

u/illstayanonymous asked:

People who had strict parents, what weird things did you get in big trouble for?

Here were some of those brave souls' answers.

Judging A Fish By Its Ability To Ride A Bicycle

In grade 9 I took Spanish in school. In general I was a below average student, but I excelled at Spanish.

The final exam came along and the majority of the class failed. I got 80%. Since so many kids failed, the test was deemed unfair, and so the marks in all the tests were doubled. Some kids still failed. I got 160% on the final test as a result.

So my final mark in Spanish was notably high, and I was incredibly proud. I was not used to getting such good marks.

I took home the test to show my parents, and they got angry at me for focusing too much of my energy on useless classes, and that I must be intentionally slacking off in other classes because if I had the potential to do this good in one, I should excel in them all. I got grounded for not doing as well in other classes. I was also not allowed to take languages, or choose my own classes because it might ruin my education by distracting me.

Instead of raising my marks in other classes, I started purposefully lowering my marks in classes I was doing well in so I wouldn't be pulled out of them or have expectations placed on me that I couldn't meet. In all, my education suffered, and I missed out on a lot of opportunities.


An Abusive Hamster Wheel

My parents required me to let them know where I was at all times. They wouldn't get me a cell phone because they're cheap, so I had to go home and leave a note, or make plans in advance. My friends at school weren't keen on the latter, and they weren't going to wait a half hour for me to walk home, write a note, and come back.

"Well Aperture you handsome devil," you say, "why don't you borrow your friend's phone?" Unfortunately, my parents didn't answer to unfamiliar numbers, and they didn't regularly check their answering machine, because "why would they need to. It's not like I can call them since I have no phone."

"But Aperture you dashing rogue, why don't your friends give you a ride home first?" Well, my dad had this thing about my friends knowing where we live because if something that had happened before.

A few years before, with permission, I invited a bunch of people over for my birthday (including the girl I had a crush on). A few nights before, somebody egged our front door, so the next day my dad made me cancel the whole thing because it must have been one of them, and not an unfortunate coincidence.

Anyway, tangents aside, when my parents gave me sh*t for never going out and doing anything, I explained the problem. Then they told me I was exaggerating, and got angry at me for blaming them.


A Prison Of Corn Flakes

I used to get grounded if I opened another bag of cereal when there was already one open. Like 2 weeks of grounding, no tv, just sitting on the bed with the door open.

My *sshole step dad at the time would always have a bag of corn flakes open and somehow, when it was running low, a new corn flakes bag would be open the next morning before we could open another.

One day, I came home from school and wanted fruity pebbles but there was still corn flakes left. I went to the back yard, poured it over the fence and came back thinking I would get to enjoy some yum yum cereal for once. Halfway through the yard, I look up and my stepdad had come home early and saw me do it because he was standing on the back porch. I've never been more afraid in my life. Grounded for two weeks and doomed to another 6 years of corn flakes.


How Should I Read Your Mind, Mom?!


One time I came home at curfew. My mother insisted I should have been home an hour earlier even though it was a standard household rule. I was kicked out of the house for over a month and had to finish high school sleeping on the couch at a friend's.


I was in 8th grade and made a MySpace page (all of my friends at school had one, and coming from the religious family that I did, I was never allowed to hang out at friends houses or have friends over, unless they were "church friends," and even then we were always supervised).

Anyway, I had a school friend help me make a MySpace page— which my mother had previously made very clear that she was completely against (there was talk in those days about the dangers of cyber bullying, or kids selling drugs over the internet or something— she had it in her mind that MySpace was bad news).

So, not seeing the harm in it myself and wanting to fit in with the other kids, I thought I would make myself a page, and let her know a week from the day that I made it what I had done and what it was all about, having seen for myself.

I had an email address at the time linked to Outlook on the PC in my room (how I was allowed to have a PC in my room I still don't know— but we had an "open door" policy at my house— I was never allowed to have my bedroom door shut). One day just before summer vacation (and having had the MySpace page just under a week), I came home to learn that my mom had gotten on my computer while I was at school and checked my outlook/ and had seen the emails from MySpace verifying that I had created a page.

She was pissed.

I apologize over and over and tried to explain that I was going to tell her after I'd had the page for a week, but she wouldn't have it.

I spent that entire summer before my freshman year of high school grounded/practically under house arrest— no TV, video games, computer, friends over or going to friends houses— nothing. She claimed it was because she couldn't trust me, but in hindsight it was just a way for her to exert total and unparalleled control over me.

Long story short— my entire childhood was filled with things like this— overblown reactions from my mom at the smallest things which she took as gravely injurious/ personal offenses. Any attempt I ever made to be an individual/ create an identity or have a life that didn't revolve around her was severely punished— if I had an interest, it was her interest too, and before it was mine— having friends was out of the question, too— her jealousy would never allow it— no one was going to take her child from her.

Classic pathological/parental narcissism.

At 27, I'm no longer on speaking terms with her— and I don't plan to ever be again.


Now I Have Adult Fun

Having too much fun.

I was allowed to hang out with friends, but there was an invisible fun meter that my parents kept track of. Once I hit the max amount of fun, I wouldn't be allowed out until my parents decided I was allowed to enjoy life again. The reset time could range anywhere from a day to two weeks, but if I tried asking to go out again before my parents deemed it okay, I would get grounded.


It's Not About You, Mom

When i was 16 i dyed the bottom 10cm of my hair red while my mum was watching tv. She threw a huge fit and cried and screamed because "i can't trust you anymore" "you have ruined your life" "what next?? you'll come home pregnant with tattoos and piercings????"

Also my sister had really long beautiful hair, one day she cut it to shoulder lenght and bangs (she was 18) and my mum didn't stop crying for 3 days straight because "she ruined everyones life".

Don't know what her problem with our hair is.


So I Can't Even Have Fun AND Now I'm Grounded?


Was grounded once for a weekend when I was 16 because my parents told me to not go into my girlfriend's bedroom during a very family-friendly party my gf's folks were hosting. All the kids were hanging out in my gf's room playing cards, and I was the awkward wallflower standing in the doorway. My mom came upstairs to check on me, and she said my foot was over the threshold into her room. Mom snapped, made a scene, and we left the party.


But Why?

Eating ground beef, steak was fine, but hamburgers were forbidden until I was 18. Caffeine was also off limits.

Banned words included fart, gas, booger, shut up, zit, anything with butt in it, beer. When we sang 100 bottles of beer on the wall it had to be 100 bottles of milk or else.

Any toy weapon was basically a sin. No squirt guns, no finger guns, no cardboard swords, no whip to go with my Indiana Jones costume. When my mom would drop me at a friends house she would tell the parents I was not allowed to touch any toy weapons which sucked because all my friends had cool nerf guns.


Calm.  It.  Down.


I can't describe it exactly, but just being at ease in general. My parents **hated it** when I was just relaxing.

Like, I'm playing my N64 and they walk in the living room once... it's okay, but f*ck I know what's about to come.

They walk in the room twice... oh sh*t, it's about to boil over.

They walk in the room three times and it's like G*DDAMN WHY ARE YOU SO LAZY GO STACK SOME FIREWOOD!!!

I stole that exact quote from South Park but that's kind of how it was. I got in trouble for being idle.

Joke's on you Mom and Dad, my wife and I make more than you ever even thought you might and we watch Netflix and play video games all the time. Just kidding but that's true. I love you but f*ck you for everything you said and did to me. But you're good people, I love you.


Parents Love To Lose Their Minds

I know I'm late to this, but this happened when I was about 7:

I needed glasses from an early age, and I had to always keep them in the case when I wasn't wearing them. One day in the summer, my mom dropped my friend and I off at the local pool to play for the day. To swim, I had taken off my glasses, put them in the case, and stuck the case underneath my towel. When I came back, the case was dented (I guess someone had stepped on it or something) but the glasses were fine. I told my mom what happened when she picked us up, and she lost her absolute mind. You remember how embarrassing it was to have your parents scold you in front of your friends? Times ten.

I still have no idea why she was so mad and I don't really want to bring it up.


It's Because You're Both Jerks

I was chilling at home on a Saturday. My friend calls me and asked if I wanted to go to go watch Spider-Man (2002) opening weekend. I asked my mom. She went off on how I don't do anything and then calls my dad to go take me to work.

That event and others made me not want to go out my whole high school life because I felt like I was going to get in trouble. Then once I was 18 they asked me why I never went out or was more out going like bros, really!?


Father, Father

Me and my brother would stay at our father's house for the entire month of July as kids (parents divorced) and we only had two friends in our father's neighborhood. If we would spend more than 3 hours hanging out with the friends, we would get guilted and sometimes grounded for "taking away time with father."

This would extend to many things. Since we primarily lived with our mother in a town 30ish miles away, if I was involved in sports (for me, soccer), I would miss maybe 5 days in the 31 days of July to do soccer practice, when I would return to my father's, I would be in trouble for taking away his time. His punishment was usually ignoring me and instinctively saying "no" to any request I would make. Also, while my brother was odd and did not listen to music, I was a huge music fan as a kid but we were forbidden to listen to music at our father's. I remember discovering that my digital clock also had a radio tuner in it and got caught listening to music and was grounded and the clock was removed for the whole summer. Dad sucked.


Everybody Needs To Calm Down

Once, I spent the day at the State Fair with my best friend and her family. I was there from 10am ish till it was dark out (in the summer). I got grounded for letting her parents buy me lunch.

Another time, a friend of mine from school couldn't pay for her school lunch, so I used my mom's card ($5 total). I told her as soon as I got home, and she started screaming about how I'm an ungrateful b*tch and that she should kick me out of the house so I learn to be less selfish. Granted I shouldn't have used her money without asking, but I still feel like it was an overreaction.


Rub It In

Went to a private (catholic) middle school. In 7th grade religion class, I forgot about a take-home quiz; got a 17 from the questions I answered while the teacher was collecting it. School policy is to get it signed by parent/guardian when you score under 70. Mom signed it, grounded me, and I returned it the next day (which was the last day before Christmas/Holiday break).

One month later, my teacher remembered she had the signed paper and gave it back to me.

Now, because of the quiz, my mother would search my bag every day. I didn't see the need to hide the quiz because she already signed it. Well, she found it, and accused me of forging her signature. I was STILL grounded from when she first signed it. My dad was thankfully on my side.

Here's the kicker: I have suffered from CMT (Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease) all my life. It's a degenerative neuromuscular disorder that primarily affects my legs and arms. The important detail here is my penmanship: it's catastrophic. I can't even duplicate my own signature, so I mostly just scribble after the first letter. My mother knows ALL of this; in fact, she's been my number one advocate my whole life when it comes to my disabilities.

It's been 13 years and she still insists that I forged it.


Not Everyone Is You, Prudence

I was grounded once for probably the dumbest thing I've ever gotten in trouble for. I wanted to leave school at lunch to go get fries, and needed a note. My mom put on the note that I had permission to go with Nicole Johnstone, however my friends name was actually Nikki. My mom lost it when I tried to correct her because it was inconceivable to her that someone would name their kid something like Nikki.


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.