Stunned People Share The Trashiest Wedding They’ve Ever Been To.
Weddings are almost always a joyous event, and often one of the best and most memorable days of the lives of those getting married.
However, sometimes, things can take an unfortunate turn for the worse. Below are 18 stories of the trashiest weddings people have been to.
1. The best man screwed the groom's mother between the meal and the dancing. The groom finds out and punches the best man, breaking his hand. The best man drives away and gets stopped by the police for drunk driving.
Being a wedding photographer is awesome.
2. The groom showed up in a Hooters T-shirt. Turns out they had actually been seperated for 6 months at the time of the ceremony. The bride celebrated her honeymoon by checking herself into a mental hospital the day after the ceremony.
3. Some hippie friends of my parents got married when I was about 14, and it was a location wedding at some earthy little mountain getaway in Tennessee. Only it was outside and in mid August, and in Tennessee that's like...90 degree, full humidity weather. But that's okay. Since it was so hot they decided to do it barefoot in a creek. Well they had a cage of butterflies to release during the kiss, but as it turns out, they had all died because of the heat! When the big moment came, someone opened the cage dramatically to let them free and like two half dead butterflies stumbled out and the rest were shriveled and dead inside. The hippie bride screamed in horror.
4. Wasn't trashy, but I'm Australian and I married an Italian. Our venue offered open bar including spirits here in Italy. You can't really get that in AUS without paying a arm and a leg and there is a reason why. They were not prepared for the Australians. My small army of 20 or so friends drunk the equivalent of +300 people. The venue ran out and the guy who organised it reckons he made a loss.
Until that day all the Italians thought I was the wildest person they had seen, then they learnt I am the quiet one of the group.
5. My cousin who, let's say, isn't playing with a full deck and thought that she had hired a caterer because she sat at a bar one night and said to this lady "you should do the food for my wedding". Waited until about an hour after the food should have logically arrived before starting to make some phone calls, only to find out that the "caterer" was on vacation in Costa Rica and had no idea that the bride thought she was doing food for the wedding. Dominoes to the rescue about 2 hours later. But the reception being at a bowling ally with a keg in the middle of the dance floor was completely planned.
6. My aunt married her third husband in Waffle House in Atlanta Georgia. They chose the booth where Kid Rock was once arrested.
7. Probably my own.
We had planned a lovely wedding, but when it came time to actually put plans into motion I realized there was no way in hell my family and his family needed to be within several miles of each other, much less the same venue.
We decided we'd get married, just the two of us and the gentleman responsible for the paperwork. Planned a lovely little picnic type event (our minister was a dear friend, we told him to bring his wife and we'd treat them to lunch afterwards) at a local duck pond that has a pretty gazebo we could use.
The morning of, and we apparently stepped into monsoon season. 20% chance of rain in the forecast had turned to 16 inches of rain overnight, with more on the way. We almost couldn't leave our house because the water was so high. I call friend and tell him to scratch the duck pond idea, can he just meet us in town so nobody gets washed away?
Well, we also run a farm so the easiest common ground that we all knew how to get there was the local feed store. Hubby and I arrive early, go inside and buy the feed we needed. As we come out, friend arrives and helps hubby load feed into the back of our truck. Still pouring rain. I hear something and see a four or five week old kitten about to get washed into a storm drain so I grab it, wrap it in my jacket, and place it in the passenger seat of our truck before climbing into friend's Honda Element. We say our vows, sitting in the backseat, soaking wet and covered in hay and mud, and go our separate ways afterwards. Hubby learns we have a new cat.
It was a overwhelming from beginning to end, but somehow it was perfect and we have a hell of a story to tell our son someday.
8. The Groom is a plumber. The flowers the men wore on their lapels were mini toilets with flowers in them. The centerpieces were plungers. No, I'm not making this up.
9. Rich french people where we didn't know anyone and despite costing major coin, there were two tiers of invitees. Those that got orange juice peanuts for snack food and those that got the real shit, like champagne and finger sandwiches. The cocktail party was literally on two sides of a courtyard and people who didn't get the champagne had to stay to one side.
10. When my cousin got married to his pregnant girlfriend, her father carried a shotgun when he walked her down the aisle.
We had a baby on the way so changed our plans to save money. We had a registry do in the center of town. Our ceremony was delayed when there was a suicide scare in the building with some dude from another party out on the window ledge.
Afterwards we literally walked 200m up the road to the pub, bought everyone a round of drinks. Then we walked across town to a nice restaurant we had booked. We didn't ask for gifts, only asked that people pay for their meal. We bought another round of drinks in the restaurant.
The wedding cake was in the only corner of the restaurant where there was room, so I had to squeeze in behind her for the obligatory cake cutting pictures. All the pictures look like I am bending her over the table and giving her a good seeing to. My parents were dismayed. I thought it was hilarious.
After the meal we walked a little further to a church that had been converted into a night club. I had my first dance with my wife to some Britney Spears Techno mash-up. People kept buying me whiskey.
I had to carry my exhausted wife, wedding dress and all, piggy-back style to the nearest taxi rank to go home. Her shoes had mangled her feet.
Do you know what? I'd do it the same way again. It was a fantastic day, and I was able to take the full two weeks off work when the baby arrived without worrying about money.
12. I was at a wedding in Germany once, and the bride asked for a divorce during the reception.
13. Easily my cousins, it was held in their side yard. Styrofoam stuff for the aisle, she was about half an hour late coming out of the house because they had to deal with some critter, and we had to bring our own lawn chairs to sit in. Ceremony lasted all of 4 minutes and we went home.
14. The bride and groom weren't actually very interested in each other. He was very wealthy and she needed financial stability, it didn't matter from who. He needed emotional stability afforded by marriage, it didn't matter from who. She was (maybe still is) having an affair with someone else, who just so happens to be one of her teachers from high school. He knows and doesn't care. They got married anyway and it was awkward because only the friends of the couple knew what was actually going on.
Here's the kicker: The bride specifically requested that the DJ play Panic At The Disco's "I Write Sins Not Tragedies".
15. Mine. My husband and I started planning a wedding (2nd for both of us) and realized 1) we didn't want our families anywhere near each other and 2) we could either have a big wedding, or a down-payment on a house. We picked the house and decided to fly to Vegas for the wedding. My one condition I put on getting married in Vegas when he suggested it was that I got to make it look as much like a drunk mistake as possible.
I wore a yellow backless dress with rhinestones, and he had a white suit with a Hawaiian shirt to match my dress. We were married at 11 pm on Friday the 13th by an Elvis, with a Dog the Bounty Hunter impersonator and Black drag queen in attendance. She cried because we looked so happy. Also there were 8 or 10 drunk Oklahomans (all in odd wedding veils, Groucho Marx glasses, or strange hats) who wanted to see a "real Vegas wedding" and just walked in and sat down. Elvis had to restart the band (his ipod) three times during my trip down the aisle because it kept cutting out. We wrote our own vows, and referred to each other as "****face" during the ceremony. We had an amazing time, the photos are killer, and we're still happily wed. 10/10 would do again.
16. Worked at a very high-end golf club in Seattle that regularly hosted expensive weddings. This Samoan wedding is probably my favorite:
-All the groomsmen were wearing lime green vests with matching lime green snapbacks
-The wedding party must order food from the restaurant at the golf club, as stated in the contract. They order Dominoes instead and the pizza guy literally brings these people pizza as they sit in a fancy restaurant.
-The bride and broom groom got into a fistfight right before the ceremony, delaying it a bit until bruises could be covered with makeup
-They hired a live band to play at the reception, but didn't feed them. During their first break, the lead singer decides to zoom down the hill to grab some McDonalds for the crew. He is pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. His one call from jail: "I can't play at your wedding anymore, I'm in jail."
17. A friend of mine hired me to play music with him at a ceremony, but as is customary in those situations I didn't know who was getting married until they showed up. Here's the backstory.
My wife was working for a corporation and one of her team members was a guy who was happily married to his high school sweetheart and had two young daughters. Another of their coworkers was his best friend, who was single. Let's call the married guy Phil, his wife Kim, and his BFF Tim. Tim was a short, mousey kind of guy who had trouble getting dates, so Phil and Kim used to bring him along is situations where he'd normally be a third wheel - going sailing, going out to eat at nice restaurants, and so on. Phil didn't mind 'cause Tim was such a good friend and he felt bad that he was lonely.
So one time Phil is going out of town and he suggests that Kim and Tim keep each other company while he's gone. Well, that's exactly what they did, and when Phil got back his high school sweetheart announced that she and Tim were now an item and he was no longer in the picture.
So imagine my surprise when the wedding couple shows up and Tim comes up to say hello to me. The cringiest part of the whole thing was Tim bringing Phil's daughters up during the wedding vows and talking about how he loved them like his own and how he was going to take care of them, etc. Those poor little girls looked like they wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
18. Went to a wedding that my wife and I said will not last more than two years. The wedding was in the backyard of the brides house. They had all the chairs and wedding "arch" setup outside. They setup a plastic tarp running down the aisle to walk on. Just before the wedding starts, there are darking clouds appearing. Should have been a sign to move the wedding inside, but they invited too many people to the damn thing.
Just as they start the wedding, it begins to rain lightly. The father of the bride is walking the bride down the lane and slips on the wet tarp, and falls on his bum. Bride is now at the front, raining harder. People start to cover up with whatever they have. Some people start to get up too. Bride turns around and says to all, THIS IS MY WEDDING, NO ONE IS GOING TO RUIN IT, YOU BETTER ALL SIT YOUR BUTTS DOWN!
We all sit back down and the wedding resumes. It is now raining pretty good. The grass is now turning into mud. A few ladies in the crowd and the bridesmaids makeup is now running down the faces. My wife has taken my jacket as a cover from the rain. They finish the vows and kiss, and then everyone runs to the house and garage to get out of the rain. Oh, remember how I said the grass was now mud? Yea, lots of people slipped and fell in the mud on the way to the house.
We got to the house, many people look terrible from the runing makeup, muddy clothing, and soaking wet. A few of the women had to cover their chests and waists due to wet clothing becoming see-thru. Most of the men were loaning their coats to the ladies to cover up. Dirty looks all around.
The wedding cake was outside, and now brought in. The rain made the decorations on the cake turn all runny and it looks horrible. The bride and groom began to cut the cake and feed each other. The smashed the cake pieces into each others faces....then began a food fight with each other. My friends wife got hit in the face with purple icing cake on her face and dress. The priest got hit with and yellow icing on his white robe. There was nothing left of the cake to serve.
Food being served was still frozen in the middle of the food and the stuff that was not frozen, was burned. The desert was supped to be the cake, but as said above, there was nothing left. There was a goody bag that people got on the way out. Had a lollipop, a coupon for ice cream cone at McDonald's, a pencil with the bride and groom name on it, and Halloween size M&Ms.
My wife, whose dress was filthy, her makeup was out of wack, and her hair was a mess, said to me that she does not want to see those people again for 6 months she was so mad. The couple divorced 11 months later when the groom came home from work and found his wife getting double teamed by two guys.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.