Surprised People Share The Most Unexpected Thing Done By Someone They Thought They Knew.

People are full of surprises - good and bad. Here, surprised people share the most unexpected thing done by someone they thought they knew.


1. Is this a movie?

I grew up knowing my parents loved and respected each other intellectually, but did not function well as a couple. They split when I was 5 due to physical abuse and alcoholic tendencies going both ways, and we're all glad they're apart.

Fast forward: they haven't spoken to each other in a decade. I'm a grown adult. I visited my mother, and she sits me down to explain a secret she has kept my whole life; I might not be his. PLOT TWIST: I might be his brother's daughter.

Mom tells me a tale of forbidden love; she fell for his older brother hard and fast, but my grandma forbid it, as my mother wasn't good enough for her beloved eldest son. Instead, my grandmother offered up the second son, and my parents dated on and off. For three years, my mother saw the eldest brother in secret while he was engaged to another woman, while my father, the second son, stood guard so no one would find out. My mother explained I could belong to either of them.

The most unexpected thing about this story was my dad; he loved her the whole time. He loved her so much that he protected her, knowing he was never her first choice. This made the story more tragic. I cannot fathom how tortured they all were.


2. And the next winner of American Idol is...

In college, we had four of us living in a two-bedroom apartment. I shared a room with Reuben, who was a really introverted shy nerd who didn't seem capable of socializing well or talking to women much.

We had a small group of us go to this karaoke bar and we were drinking Soju and picking the usual bad songs and singing stuff. Reuben hadn't joined in and sung anything, so we pushed him a little bit to pick a song and he chose "Always" by Atlantic Starr.

Then, it was like a moment out of a reality show and he just totally rocked that song, singing his heart out with more passion than I've ever seen him do anything. We were all silent and in awe that he could belt out a song like that and sing perfectly.


3. There's always more than what meets the eye.

I worked at a gas station in Winnipeg and was filling in at a different store for a month while they trained a new manager. My midnight guy was this middle-aged man who kept to himself and meticulously cleaned the store every night. Perfect midnight employee.

The manager was trained, I went back to my original store, midnight guy eventually quits and moves to Alberta. A couple years later I read about how killed a guy on a Greyhound bus just outside of Winnipeg.


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4. That's how you thank me?

I had been working with a colleague for years, supporting her in two projects and working my butt off to get promoted. We had a good relationship too.

During our last round of evaluation, I asked for a promotion (to be on the same level as her roughly), thinking she would back me up. She didn't, even saying I wasn't doing well or wasn't working independently enough.

I found out it was because she wanted to make sure I'd keep working for her. That was unexpected after four years of really helping her out.


5. Not all hope is lost.

My sister and I haven't voluntarily spoken to each other since I left home 15 years ago.

No grand falling out, we just always loathed each other and once we didn't have to live in the the same tiny house together (with our discipline-obsessed parents) we had no reason to have to associate with one another anymore.

We've seen each other at Christmas at our parents' place, at a couple of family funerals, and we can be civil to each other. But she's always been pretty vile to me if we have to spend any time alone. I tried reaching out a couple of times in my 20s but she was just kind of crappy with me so I left it alone.

And then one weekend she emailed me to tell me she's making some changes in her life and regrets the fact that she doesn't know me at all, and that she wants us to try and forge a real sibling relationship, independent of our messed up upbringing and the people that we used to be.

I might be getting a sister, a proper sister.


6. So hypocritical it hurts.

My friend got engaged. He's been very vocal in the past about not wanting to get married, and when our other friend got engaged after being with his girlfriend for 6 months, this guy went on a rant about how it was stupid to get engaged after such a short time.

Well come June, turns out he's engaged, has been for 6 weeks, and has only been with the girl since February. Oh and she is his best friend's ex, and that relationship ended in January.

The hypocrisy is staggering.


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7. Dad? Is that you?

My dad robbed a Blockbuster that he worked at when I was 10. One day I called the store to talk to him to see if he could bring me home a game for Playstation, and the manager asked to talk to my mom.

He then proceeded to tell us that my dad robbed the store a couple of days prior and was arrested. He kept coming and leaving the house as if he was still going to work all those days. Needless to say, the divorce happened shortly after.

He also flew a lady out from SF that he met online, only to send her right back as she wasn't what he expected...what a jerk.


8. Behind the exterior.

Coworker of mine just stopped coming into the office. That's not that big a deal really, but it was after he used his vacation time, so it started to track down to sick time, and then unpaid leave.

The boss started getting nervous. This wasn't normal behavior.

Anyways, this guy had worked quietly for 13 years, had been there a decent amount of time but never advanced or anything- just your typical quiet worker.

But then, poof: he just stopped coming to work.

Like completely stopped. No explanation, no text or call to our manager or anything.

So our immediate superior gets mad, and we've all seen this play out at least once or twice before. Some people just aren't cut out for this line of work, but then the guy in question wasn't exactly a new hire. He'd been with the company for a long time. Phone calls, emails- they're going to fire this guy soon and they're running out of excuses not to because he's just not responding.

The manager has to go to HR, and now people start to wonder if maybe something happened. Call him on a different line along some really old emergency contact information, still no answer.

The thing becomes a mystery in the office. Nobody knows. Rumors start to spread. Maybe he's dead...maybe there was an accident, maybe he got poached and went to another company...

They fire him, finally. I mean, I think they did. No other option really because he's not in the office and they definitely replaced him.

The thing is, he's not dead. He's not sick or hurt or gone off to another company. No: this guy is a legend.

See, it turns out he was chipping at the metaphoric cell-block of office work, always grinding away like that dude from Shawshank Redemption. He'd been stockpiling over half his salary for years with some magic number off in the distance, and then when he reached it, the guy just retired. Like dropped everything right there and then, and just left without telling anyone.

I only know because somehow word got out from someone who knew a friend, who knew someone, who knew him- one of those long convoluted grapevine rumors, only this one held a lot more water than the rest of them.

I crept around on Facebook a few weeks after they replaced him, and there he was: All his posts were public too. The latest ones are just him on a beach or travelling on the road somewhere. Early 40s, worked quietly for years without any crazy windfall or salary, but he's apparently a millionaire (or at least living like one).


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9. You can't choose your family.

My aunt stole a large sum of money from me. When I turned 18 I was to get a check for 18 years of per cap with interest. Six months before my 18th, she quit her job and started working at a small 5 location credit union. She asked me to move my accounts there to help her meet quotas since she just started and would do joint accounts so I could get the benefits too. Ten months later I thought she had a better job and was reaping the benefits when she started to remodel her house and spend her nights at the bar. I didn't think anything of it because she was my aunt and had a decent job.

When I went to change banks because I was moving across the country she told me she already withdrew the money and I couldn't get it and since it was a joint account there was nothing I could do about it.

While not fine the worst thing about it was that she claimed it was what my mother wanted and was in her will. Then when disproved said she deserved it more than me, and then eventually that because she did it in a legal way it was hers now. She convinced her boss that I was trying to ruin her life so I couldn't even go to them for help.

Eventually I got 60% of it back from a settlement but she burned all the bridges she could in the family. She would cut off any contact with people who asked what the problem was. Or would threaten to if they talked about it. Since she was getting free child care from her mom she said she would rather pay for childcare than listen to her mom talk about me. So my grandmother had to keep quiet or she would lose her other two grandkids and her last living daughter along with me because I was moving across the country.

Total blindside.


10. You think you know someone...

I found out my roommate sexually assaulted a friend of mine and had been stalking him. She told me they had consensual sex, and had spent months talking about how he was ignoring her and how hurt she felt. She also made sure to tell him that I supported her, so that he and I did not talk.

Finally, she threatened him and his girlfriend after sending him about forty emails one night. He texted me asking me if I could help, and I called him immediately and we finally touched base.

It was the most terrifying information to learn, because she has been manipulating me in a way which basically made me realize all of her behavior and actions that she had told me about were BS.

Horrific to learn...I've never felt so viscerally shocked and betrayed before.


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11. Even your friend can be a shady car salesman.

I bought a used car from a friend during college years who was himself a mechanic.

The car looked like new. I thought I knew him well enough to take his word that the car was in "perfect shape and not needing any money spent on it."

Turned out that he used our friendship to unload a vehicle fraught with mechanical woes - including serious transmission repairs, brakes and electrical issues.


12. Please never talk to me again.

Guy that I grew up with killed his girlfriend right after we all got out of high school. Shocked us all.

He was incarcerated in '88-'89. In 2004 I went into a little convenience store. There's a great big guy in there, he knows my name and greets me enthusiastically.

I don't recognize him - of course you know how this ends, it's my former childhood friend. He had been out for about a month. And does he like to talk. I'm not kidding you, he recited my old phone number from the '80s back to me like lightning. And then my best friend's, and several of our other friends. Never seen anything like it.

Then tells me he has a Corvette. and that "maybe if you're a good girl" he'll let me ride in it sometime. Ew.


13. Nice excuse.

A friend stole 200 out of his best friend's wallet, they were like brothers. This was at another friend's wedding. He even helped look for the wallet when it was assumed lost. The CCTV was reviewed the next day by the happy couple when they see him clear as day open the wallet, count the cash out and dump wallet in a bush.

They then see him 45 minutes later 'find' and then re-hide the wallet so it's in clear view, then ushers people to check another area again. Luckily all was sorted the following day by wives and girlfriends where he cobbled together a story about trying to stop him wasting his money.

Maintained that story until he realized we'd seen CCTV. Hasn't apologized and lost a whole group of friends.


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14. A turn for the worse.

My best friend through high school, college, for whom I was the best man at his wedding, and whose kids I babysat on more than one occasion, who never did drugs or drink excessively for as long as I can remember, decided one night to get behind the wheel drunk, and with a strange woman nobody in our circle knew, and drove into a ditch.

The woman was fine but he was taken to emergency room, suffered concussions and later released. He hasn't been the same since (2 years ago now), and couple of months ago he got a divorce.


15. You just had to push the right button.

My husband is kind of a no-nonsense guy, or at least more straight laced than me. He's an engineer, and a safety analyst to boot so he's very conservative about pretty much everything.

However, one evening we had friends over and after dinner, we let our friend take the remote and flip through the channels to find something to watch. As they were flipping through, they paused for a millisecond on a WWE match that had ridiculous costumes (like a little person in an alligator suit fighting a man in a bunny suit). My husband exclaimed "GO BACK!" as soon as our friends passed it and so they went back and kept it on the WWE match.

My husband inched forward on the couch and stared intently at the match then proceeded to laugh the hardest I've ever seen him laugh (to this day) at all the silly fighting choreography - I'm talking can't breathe, tears streaming down a red face type of laughter. It took us all off guard but especially me.

Since then (we've been married for almost a year now, and dated for two and a half), I've come to realize that lots of stupid things that most people would simply chuckle at - he just cracks up at. He also thoroughly enjoys those Dear Kitten commercials by Friskies cat food.


16. He was going to "work."

I had been dating this guy for almost a year. Everything seemed normal. He and his daughter lived with his dad in a big two story house. His dad worked a lot, made really good money. I would have definitely considered them upper class.

Soo anyway, my ex had full-time a job, his hours were always different but he'd go in almost every day. He would always tell me about his day, things he has to do at work, typical stuff.

One day I get a call from my parents saying they were worried about me. They informed me that they saw my ex, who was supposedly at work at the time, outside standing on the medium of a busy intersection. He had a sign and was begging people for money. I had come to find out he had been doing that for years, never had a job the entire time we were together and was just lazy. I was shocked at the time, now that I back track I missed the warning signs


17. Selfish intentions.

My cousin, who's in his 50s, was having a rough time financially so his parents (in their 70s/80s I think) helped him move out of state to be closer to them, bought him a house and got him set up and get financially stable.

Shortly after, he sold the house, pocketed the money, went on an around-the-world trip during which time his dad died and my cousin chose not to come home for the funeral. I never thought he would ever do something like this. I see him now posting pics from his trip on Facebook, having a grand old time. I feel bad for my aunt.


18. Don't let the shy facade fool you.

Found out that one of my good friends started producing fetish videos with girls he met online. I found his hidden gear by accident one day, you should've seen his face. He was mostly a shy person so it just came as such a shock.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.