Brave People Share Their Best 'FML' Moments
You ever have one of those moments where you wish you could vanish from the face of the earth? Maybe only for a few minutes or maybe forever. Moments like when you trip and fall on stage in front of a large crowd or look in the mirror and realize there was spinach in between your two front teeth and no one bothered to tell you. "F your life!"
If it makes you feel any better you aren't alone. The following is a compilation of incredibly embarrassing or uncomfortable moments from people who want to disappear every once and a while - just like you.
If you are interested in reading more "FML" moments the original thread can be found at the end of the article.
I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam.
I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister.
On my 18th birthday my parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation.
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak.
Today, after a long series of tests, I found out that Im sterile. My wife is currently pregnant with our second child. I think I have some questions for her.
My boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo of his name. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me.
Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "Screw you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker.
My first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school.
I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her."
My boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.
I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home.
I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed."
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes.
I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth.
My boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!"
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain.
I caught a co-worker licking the inside of a drinking cup I threw away. This has happened on multiple occasions.
I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years. Just before, I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall.
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain.
I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. I walked downstairs angry to stop her, only to find my parents having sex on my piano.
Today, the guy that I like took me to a basketball game. At the game, on the Jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss. The camera goes on to us and as I go in to kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime." The entire stadium got to see me get rejected.
I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched as someone stole my bike.
I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very religious background I thought she would be proud. Instead, he laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room.
My parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell."
I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes".
When you're a kid most adults will tell you one thing or another is "cool" and "fun." Odds are you're too young to form any kind of opinion on the matter one way or another. You're a kid, right? You don't know what you're eating for breakfast. However, when you get older and form that larger worldview, you realize that yeah, maybe that one time when you were a kid actually wasn't fun.
These are those stories.