13 Jaded Women Explain Their Worst 'Nice Guy' Experience.
"But I thought we were friends?"
People on Reddit were asked: "What's your worst Nice Guy story?" These are some of the best answers.
1/13 Guy had an honest to God tantrum that I wouldn't let him sleep over at my place on a second date (uh, we just met and had only kissed and said second date was on a Tuesday) and then blamed my "overwhelming Catholic guilt" for why I was "denying" him. Yeesh.
2/13 Lived in a dorm with this guy who ended becoming insanely obsessive and possessive even though I told him I would never date him.
First he sent me a bouquet of 24 long stem white roses. Then he sent me one of those 5 foot tall giant teddy bears. I failed my g2 test, was pretty sad about it, and he sent me another bouquet of long stem red roses. I got angry with him and told him to stop treating me like his girlfriend, since I would never date him and shit.
He told me multiple times that he told his friends that I was his girlfriend, and that he was only happy cause he had constructed this imaginary world in his mind where we were dating and that's what made him happy.
One time he showed up to my house at like 10 at night. I never gave him my address, which he somehow figured out when he was sending me things. He basically showed up to my house demanding we hang out, I drove him back to the subway station and told him to never come to my house again.
It was a stressful time in my life I won't lie. Completely ruined my summer having to deal with this shit for 4 months.
3/13 I had a friend once who grew to have a pretty big crush on me, he tried to ask me out a few times, but every time I would say no. I gave him the most well known and cliche easy-let-downs possible, such as "I'm just not ready to date anyone right now.", and "I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship." I would tell him that if he couldn't be friends with me because of his feelings for me, I would understand. He said it was fine and stayed my friend, but would say bad things about his appearance to me all the time. I would respond by saying stuff like "That's not true, you're plenty attractive!" and he would say "If that were true, you'd want to date me." and I would say "There's a difference between thinking someone is attractive and being attracted to them." Nothing I ever said seemed to make any difference in his feelings or behavior.
This went on for a few months, and then one day he basically had a meltdown because I had hung out with his best friend a few times (who was also a guy) so I decided I shouldn't talk to him anymore, for his own good.
A few years later he messaged me to apologize for his previous behavior and asked to rekindle our friendship. He now had a girlfriend, and I had a boyfriend (who would soon turn into my fianc) so I figured we were in the clear. But after a little while things ended between him and his girlfriend, he started making sexual "jokes" to me all the time, I got married, and he pitched a fit and accused me of "friend zoning" him. Yeah.
4/13 Had a guy recently who is just blowing my mind with the amount of niceguy. He says things like "ever since I grew up and started appreciating women I haven't been laid." He talks about how women dress a certain way and they're used to compliments in those outfits, so he only hits on women wearing "normal clothes" at the bookstore or the grocery. I was like well pal maybe the reason you're not getting laid is because you don't really understand women, you just have mentally categorized them and assumed their intentions and actions before they happen. He also constantly talks about how mature he is and how it's so hard to date at his age because of his maturity...
5/13 A few years ago, I had taken a day trip to the beach alone and was walking through town to grab lunch. A guy stopped me, said he'd seen me on the beach earlier, and asked if I wanted to grab a drink with him. I thanked him, but politely declined. He took it pretty gracefully at first and asked if he had been offensive in his approach. I told him not at all, that I'd just had a hectic week and wanted to spend the day alone, and then I wished him well. Well, apparently that was the wrong thing to say. He said, "What, so just because you want to spend the day alone means you can't hang out with me?" I said that that was pretty much what the definition of "alone" entailed. He started raising his voice and asking what was wrong with him, was he ugly, was I a lesbian?
I should have just turned around and walked away, but at this point in my life, my fear of being thought of as impolite was greater than the fear for my own safety. So I gave him the "I have a boyfriend" excuse. He started YELLING in the middle of the street, "WHAT, SO JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND MEANS WE CAN'T HANG OUT? MAYBE I JUST WANTED TO BE YOUR FRIEND, HUH? MAYBE I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU. MAYBE I SEE YOU AS MORE THAN JUST A PRETTY FACE, UNLIKE YOUR SHALLOW BOYFRIEND [who didn't actually exist]." I started to back away, telling him that it was nice meeting him but that I had to go. At this point, people are thankfully starting to see what's going on. Dude says, "Why are you backing away? Are you SCARED of me? WHY ARE YOU SCARED OF ME? I'M A REALLY NICE GUY AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE I'M A MONSTER." The comment and the situation were just so insane at that point that I just cracked up and walked away.
6/13 Boyfriend was out of town volunteering at Beerfest with his friends, and an Irish trad band I really liked was playing at the local pub, so I went by myself.
I sit at the bar and enjoy the band, there's a space next to me at the bar and a guy asks if he can squeeze in next to me to order a drink, nobody's with me, so I say sure. We introduce ourselves while he's waiting for his drink, and he introduces me to his friends who are there with him. We make polite and friendly conversation, as one does in the midwest when you don't want to just sit in awkward silence in close proximity to someone studiously ignoring their existence. I'm watching the band and I turn around and Dude has ordered four shots, one for me, him and his two friends. I didn't really want one (and nobody asked me) but it's there and it seems like a friendly thing, so, fine I guess. I make a comment about my boyfriend at some point in the conversation and he's like "oh well why isn't he here?" Uhh... because it's 2016 and I'm allowed to leave the house without a chaperone?
He proceeded to get all butthurt about how he "wasted his night" talking to me while simultaneously telling me he wouldn't have behaved any differently if I had just "been honest with him". When I asked "What was I supposed to do, say 'I have a boyfriend' the second you said hello? Because that generally turns into "Well I wasn't interested you stuck-up bitch, you should be so lucky!" He responded that he's sorry I've had that experience in the past but he's "not one of those guys" - how the f*ck am I supposed to know that? Oh right, you're a nice guy, you just berate girls for having the audacity to go out to a pub by themselves to listen to a little music and not sleep with you for buying them a drink they didn't ask for and treating them to your scintillating conversation. F*cker.
I ended up getting so upset I went to the bathroom and cried while I waited for him to leave. Not a great night.
7/13 I went out on a first date, wasn't feeling it, offered to pay the tab, he wouldn't let me, we parted ways... You think that would be the end, right? Oh no.
He texted me later, telling me how I hurt him by accepting his kindness, (the dinner he paid for even though he didn't have to) and just sending him home alone. He was horny, and "why don't you come over and work off that dinner wink wink."
I responded by telling him to lose my number. He responded back by calling me a money hungry whore. I responded by sending my half of the dinner we shared to him via PayPal.
8/13 One time my boyfriend and I broke up, and I used to sit by myself at this fountain in campus. This classic fedora dude, slightly chubby with a face of a 10 year old covered in stringy facial hair would visit me. His voice was the loudest squeakiest thing, it could break glass.
Normally we had small talk, like 3 minutes worth, then I would go to class. This went on for two days. One day he nervously asked if I would like to visit LA with him the coming weekend. I had to decline since I was going out of town to visit my parents. Ever since that day he has not talked to me, he passive aggressively RUNS the opposite direction when we cross paths. If he's in a car and I'm walking adjacent to him, he will hit the gas and floor it out of there.
I overheard him talking with his friend sometime later about how women are insensitive c*nts, and take pleasure in hurting guys. I don't even know man.
9/13 There was this guy in first year... I was pretty lonely and desperate for friends so we hung out all the time even though he was kind of odd. He started off being really kind to me, bringing me food and hanging out with me when I was super depressed.
But it kind of escalated, he'd be at my apartment all the time uninvited, force his way in, or corner me in public even when I obviously wanted to be alone. I was polite, but the guy wasn't picking up on it.
The final straw was me mentioning that I had been sexually assaulted (I'm pretty open about this, but it's sensitive) and him going "That's okay, my parents always told me to buy used." After that, I started wearing a massive raincoat around campus so that he wouldn't see me or talk to me. Effing creep.
10/13 This guy opened the door for me and I said, "Thank you!" and kept on my way and he shouted after me, "Aren't you going to ask for my number?!" I cringed and walked faster.
11/13 Worked at a well known game shop in my local mall. I'm working behind the counter when a couple guys walk in. One of them has a list of specific Magic cards he wanted for his deck. I pull up each card on the computer, find it through the copious amounts of binders and set them aside for him to pay for it. The whole time I'm being friendly and making small talk, like someone in my position is supposed to do. He pays me, thanks me then leaves.
The next day, I come in early so I wait and sit outside the store on a bench. Then here comes Mr Nice Guy. He sees me sitting alone and comes over to talk to me. I am not a very talkative person unless I have to be, so I'm already pretty... annoyed that he's talking to me outside of work. He does the small talk then goes straight to asking me for my number. I politely decline, saying I don't give my number out to people I don't know. Then he did the classic "Oh, then my name is blah blah blah, what's yours?" I said,"My name's MissNox." He holds out his hand for a handshake, I shake his hand but when I pull away, he... How do I put this... Lingers on my hand too long? Like, I pulled away and his fingers glided across the back of my hand. "We're not strangers anymore." Yeah, no. Sorry buddy. "I still don't know you, I'm not giving you my number." He then gets that butt hurt look. "So you have a boyfriend, huh?" "Yup." "You should have just told me that." Then got really pissy and went into the store.
Like... I'm sorry I didn't tell you yesterday that I had a bf while I was working to give you a shit ton of cards. BEING FRIENDLY WAS MY JOB, DON'T TAKE IT ANY OTHER WAY!
12/13 A few years ago my buddy hosted a party. He invited this one guy out of pity since he really had no friends. Let's call him "Ahmad". Now Ahmad really had a thing for this girl at the party let's call her "Nadia" but she friend zoned the f*ck out of him. He spent the entire time at the party being passive aggressive towards her and making cringeworthy sexist jokes and passive aggressively trying to cockblock any guys that were trying to talk to her.
Anyhow Nadia got really annoyed with him and kept belittling him after a while then decided to have really loud sex with this other guy at the party towards the end of the night. Ahmad cried himself to sleep cuddling with a pillow he thought belonged to her but really belonged to my buddy who hosted the party. My buddy disposed of that pillow the next day.
13/13 This guy started messaging me on Facebook during a semester overseas, but I didn't think much of it, since I thought he was a friend of my roommate's. Odd kid, mullet, neckbeard, leather trench coat down to his ankles, fedora, longboard, the whole shebang. Talked about weed nonstop. Would confess his feelings for me every few weeks, told him I was interested in someone else every time. He even started sending love poems in Spanish-- which, hello, Google Translate is a thing. You're not being subtle.
When I returned to campus, everything got a thousand times worse: we lived in the same dorm and he'd watch for me to enter and leave the building. Come back from class? Go outside to make a call? He'd always magically show up. Started giving long, unwanted bear hugs and pushing random gifts under my door (always returned them.) Got increasingly angry with every rejection. Eventually he started coming over unannounced later and later, midnight, 1, 2, 3 am. I explicitly told him I didn't want to see him or talk to him anymore. My roommates always told him I wasn't there.
Finally, he watched me come in from class and started banging on my door, yelling that he knew I was there. He was a muscular guy. He could've gotten in eventually. By the time a friend arrived to help, about 15-20 minutes later, he'd gone... temporarily. I took the time to sneak out to said friend's apartment.
Got a restraining order. He was expelled for other reasons (drugs) later in the semester.
There comes a time in our lives when we have to cut people out because of their toxic, negative, or destructive behavior. And there's no shame in doing it - tolerance and acceptance can only go so far, and there is always a last straw.
The785 asked: What was the incident that made you cut somebody close out of your life?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.