17 People Share The Dumbest Thing They've Seen On A University Application.
The university and college admission process can be so tedious it feels like a second job. Rarely, though, do prospective students get to see what their peers wrote on their application. While most applications are dry and serious, it turns out that some class clowns weave their humor into everything they do.
Thanks to HircumSaeculorum for asking this question on Reddit, and to all the fine folk who shared their answers.
1. Someone's personal statement that said, "I think so far outside the box, there is no box."
2. I am not an applicant. I am an appli-CAN.
3. A Math Ph.D. applicant's essay literally said "I LIKE MATH" in red crayon. I think he figured his 4.0 GPA and awesome GRE quant score was all he needed. He didn't get in.
4. I reviewed applications for fellowships at a university hospital. One application letter was written in textspeak. Including emoticons.
5. My aunt works in college admissions, and complains about the kids who attach 'bribe money'-- usually a $5 or a $20, sometimes jokingly, sometimes serious. She said she rejects those applications without looking at them.
6. I've seen two essays written by parents. Not just essays where you could tell from the writing that it was written by an adult, but essays by mothers written in first person about their sons.
7. So a few days ago, someone from the UC system came to my high school to talk about essays. One example was a girl who apparently decided her topic was on a Korean boy band.
Or more specifically, how obsessed she was with it.
She pulled all-nighters to make some fan-website that became popular to the point of the band noticing, went as far as to learn Korean because screw English translations, and said that despite seeming really crazy, it was proof that she was very dedicated to whatever she did.
The admission guy said he approved her.
8. He submitted an exact copy of a Samuel Johnson essay.
Yeah nice try... no 18-year old writes that well.
9. I worked at a university that did not require admissions essays unless they were specifically asked for. This meant that you were wait-listed, for example, or something worrying stood out on your application. One student had an extremely large amount of absences in his/her/their high school career and was asked to explain why. The student said he/she had an intense fear of worms, and because he/she/they walked to school, was unable to attend when it had recently rained, as the sidewalks would be covered in worms.
10. International applicant sent in a photo of them conducting a military band in a chicken suit. I have no clue why. It went up on the Wall of WTF in our office.
11. My friend wrote one about how he invented penicillin. He got accepted...
12. This man wrote under Qualifications or Certifications:
I'm ordained and can marry people in Minnesota.
13. My sister wrote her MIT essay about how she games a large department store's pricing inconsistencies to turn a profit. (Buy on sale, return at regular price, etc.) She had a pretty complicated system going.
She essentially wrote about how she steals from department stores.
She got in.
Thanks again to everyone who contributed.
There comes a time in our lives when we have to cut people out because of their toxic, negative, or destructive behavior. And there's no shame in doing it - tolerance and acceptance can only go so far, and there is always a last straw.
The785 asked: What was the incident that made you cut somebody close out of your life?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.