20 People Share The Most Hilarious Line They've Ever Heard A Child Say.
Some children are so smooth they may as well be politicians.
1/19. Ella's in her room playing with Barbie and Ken. My wife, Nora, walks in and asks what she's doing.
Ella: "Playing with Ken because I don't play with him too much."
Nora: "Why don't you play with him much?"
Ella: "Because he doesn't have any balls."
Ella: "Yeah. He doesn't have any fancy clothes like in Cinderella so he doesn't throw any balls."
2/19. My girlfriend's 4 year old came up to her one day and said,
"I have to go to the vet."
Little kid flexes "Because these pythons are sick"
3/19. I had gotten some really delicious loaded fries from a restaurant nearby. At home, I showed Cade, my (then)four year old, the fries. He looked up at me, a dull expression on his face, and said, "you're livin' the dream, daddy-boy." He then picked up his burger and left the room.
4/19. My 13 y.o sister stubbed her toe, and exclaimed "Oh SUGAR that hurt!" In response, my 6 y.o sister patted her on the shoulder and says "no no, in this house, we say f*ck."
5/19. Cousin, who was about 4 at the time: "Look, a plane!"
Me: "No, that's a bird."
Cousin: "Well... in Spanish a bird is called a plane."
Me: "No. No it is not."
Cousin: "Well... sometimes... when I'm really sad... I call a bird a plane."
6/19. My son at five years old: "I was going to help you with that, but I think I just won't."
7/19. My wife was pregnant and my son, who was about 5, asked "where does the baby come out?" She said, "out of my vagina." "oh," he said. And after a short pause, "you must have a really big vagina."
8/19. My friends' kid can't say "ridiculous" so whenever her father does something she thinks is silly, she'll say "you're dickless, daddy!"
Continue to the next page for more hilarious kids quotes.
9/19. My boyfriend's father recalls that when my boyfriend was about three they went into a store and he gave him $1 to buy whatever he wanted! After walking around the store for a while, unable to find anything he could afford he said to his dad, "when I grow up I am going to make a lot of money so that I can give you $1 and you could see what you couldn't buy!" I thought it was priceless and I can imagine a little him coming back at his dad like that.
10/19. Me, to husband: Don't turn there, it's a bad part of town.
Daughter: What does that mean?
Son: There are a lot of bad guys there.
Daughter: What, like robbers, and french people?
11/19. Overheard from a Pre-K kidlet at school where I work: "When I grow up, I am either going to have a horse, or I am going to be a horse." it's good to have goals...
12/19. 4 year old daughter: Dinosaurs are meteors because they eat meat.
13/19. 9 year-old cousin: Abby, can teenagers have babies?
24 year-old me: Yes, they're able to but it's usually not a good idea.
6 year-old cousin ponders what he overhears and then chimes in: How come? Child labor laws?
14/19. "If Santa is real, why are all the toys made in China?"
15/19. My son, at age three: "Do you wanna be on my team, or the good guys' team?"
16/19. My kid brother's best: "My tummy has a headache."
17/19. My nine year old sister called me an "anus pube"...
18/19. Ella: "Rosa told me to!"
Nora: "If Rosa told you to jump off a cliff, would you?"
Ella: "Depends on how high the cliff is."
She's 4 btw.
19/19. Here's a bacon related one for ya! So my daughter's mom keeps her very sheltered so when I have her I do everything I can to give her a rounded, scientific understanding of the world. We're eating dinner and I thought it was a great time to talk about omnivores, carnivores, and herbivores.
Me: You see, people eat meat and vegetables. Meat is the muscles of animals.
4 YO daughter: We don't eat animals!
Me: Sure we do... what about bacon? It's meat from an animal.
4 YO: Bacon doesn't come from animals!
Me: Then where does it come from?
4 Y0: (in a condescending voice) The grocery store.
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Whoops. That snip was just a hair too far....
Your first bad haircut probably made you want to die a little when you looked in the mirror. Imagine how the person cutting your hair must have felt. Although, maybe they didn't care at all, as evidenced by the bs excuse they gave you when you finished in the barber chair.