20 People Share The Most Hilarious Line They've Ever Heard A Child Say.

Some children are so smooth they may as well be politicians.

1/19. Ella's in her room playing with Barbie and Ken. My wife, Nora, walks in and asks what she's doing.

Ella: "Playing with Ken because I don't play with him too much."

Nora: "Why don't you play with him much?"

Ella: "Because he doesn't have any balls."

Nora: "What!"

Ella: "Yeah. He doesn't have any fancy clothes like in Cinderella so he doesn't throw any balls."

2/19. My girlfriend's 4 year old came up to her one day and said,

"I have to go to the vet."


Little kid flexes "Because these pythons are sick"

3/19. I had gotten some really delicious loaded fries from a restaurant nearby. At home, I showed Cade, my (then)four year old, the fries. He looked up at me, a dull expression on his face, and said, "you're livin' the dream, daddy-boy." He then picked up his burger and left the room.


4/19. My 13 y.o sister stubbed her toe, and exclaimed "Oh SUGAR that hurt!" In response, my 6 y.o sister patted her on the shoulder and says "no no, in this house, we say f*ck."

5/19. Cousin, who was about 4 at the time: "Look, a plane!"

Me: "No, that's a bird."
Cousin: "Well... in Spanish a bird is called a plane."
Me: "No. No it is not."
Cousin: "Well... sometimes... when I'm really sad... I call a bird a plane."

6/19. My son at five years old: "I was going to help you with that, but I think I just won't."

7/19. My wife was pregnant and my son, who was about 5, asked "where does the baby come out?" She said, "out of my vagina." "oh," he said. And after a short pause, "you must have a really big vagina."


8/19. My friends' kid can't say "ridiculous" so whenever her father does something she thinks is silly, she'll say "you're dickless, daddy!"

Continue to the next page for more hilarious kids quotes.

9/19. My boyfriend's father recalls that when my boyfriend was about three they went into a store and he gave him $1 to buy whatever he wanted! After walking around the store for a while, unable to find anything he could afford he said to his dad, "when I grow up I am going to make a lot of money so that I can give you $1 and you could see what you couldn't buy!" I thought it was priceless and I can imagine a little him coming back at his dad like that.


10/19. Me, to husband: Don't turn there, it's a bad part of town.
Daughter: What does that mean?
Son: There are a lot of bad guys there.
Daughter: What, like robbers, and french people?

She's 8.

11/19. Overheard from a Pre-K kidlet at school where I work: "When I grow up, I am either going to have a horse, or I am going to be a horse." it's good to have goals...


12/19. 4 year old daughter: Dinosaurs are meteors because they eat meat.

13/19. 9 year-old cousin: Abby, can teenagers have babies?

24 year-old me: Yes, they're able to but it's usually not a good idea.

6 year-old cousin ponders what he overhears and then chimes in: How come? Child labor laws?

14/19. "If Santa is real, why are all the toys made in China?"

15/19. My son, at age three: "Do you wanna be on my team, or the good guys' team?"

16/19. My kid brother's best: "My tummy has a headache."


17/19. My nine year old sister called me an "anus pube"...

18/19. Ella: "Rosa told me to!"
Nora: "If Rosa told you to jump off a cliff, would you?"
Ella: "Depends on how high the cliff is."

She's 4 btw.

19/19. Here's a bacon related one for ya! So my daughter's mom keeps her very sheltered so when I have her I do everything I can to give her a rounded, scientific understanding of the world. We're eating dinner and I thought it was a great time to talk about omnivores, carnivores, and herbivores.

Me: You see, people eat meat and vegetables. Meat is the muscles of animals.

4 YO daughter: We don't eat animals!

Me: Sure we do... what about bacon? It's meat from an animal.

4 YO: Bacon doesn't come from animals!

Me: Then where does it come from?

4 Y0: (in a condescending voice) The grocery store.

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