24 Of The Weirdest Things Landlords Have Found After Tenants Moved Out.

It pains me to write this article because I've recently been on the receiving end of a former roommate who did not clean up the space on their way out of my apartment. I mean, come on, we're all adults here, how hard is it to throw your garbage out?! I'm not your maid! Here I am complaining about a few rotten vegetables left in a fridge but that's nothing compared to what these landlords deal with all the time.

Landlords of Reddit were asked: "What is the strangest thing you have found that a tenant has left behind after having moved out?" These are some of the best answers.

Not a landlord but was an RA (resident advisor) for dorms in college. We didn't necessarily evict but we definitely saw some stuff when we did the final inspections of rooms after the academic year was over.

In any case, one year there was this girl who had a single room and she was SUPER quiet. I'd say hi to her in the hallways and stuff but mostly she kept to herself.

When the year was up, she signed up for a room checkout inspection but when I went in, she was already gone. That's not that unusual; sometimes things happen, but usually students will let their RA know if they won't physically be there for the inspection.

I did my usual check of stuff - ok the fridge is cleaned out, nothing in the drawers, etc.- and everything was pretty normal. Then I opened her closet door. There was an entire self portrait mural covering her entire closet wall...painted in her own blood.

There was a lot of weird stuff I saw as an RA, but that was probably the weirdest.


One of my residents was paranoid and thought his upstairs neighbors were whispering his name through vents and gassing him out with poison. When he finally abandoned the apartment, he had filled every possible hole inside the place with insulation. Every outlet, vent and even windows were completely blocked off. He also tore out all the duct work for the A/C and owed about $8,000 in damages. 


My uncle had a small house broken up into four apartments, arranged so there were two on the bottom and two directly above those. The family that lived in a bottom apartment complained about something brown seeping through their ceiling so my uncle went to see the people in the above unit. That family refused to let my uncle in until he threatened to evict them. These people were foreigners to the US and they spoke poor English. 

Once my uncle went in he noticed a terrible smell coming from the kitchen so he goes in it. He sees that they took off all the cupboard doors and converted them into chicken cages... Each one holding about 3 chickens. He was surprised but still needed to find out what the brown stuff was so he continued through the apartment. He get to a bedroom and is quite shocked when he entered. The room was full of dirt about a foot thick and they were growing plants in it. There was a lady inside who was watering the plants. They didn't have anything on the floor protecting it from the dirt, it was just the dirt on the carpet.


Our friend rented a house to this girl. After the girl moved out, (a couple days later) our friend went into the house to begin cleaning & discovered a little brown dachshund puppy had been tied up inside. We adopted him. Some people are just jerks.


I helped clean out my parents rental property two years ago this June. They'd had to evict the tenant, a single mom of a five year old boy, for two consecutive months non-payment of rent after she and her well-employed baby daddy broke up.

We found a large black and white striped mini shark / pleco in a fish tank that first appeared to contain only black stagnant water 1/4 full.

The general state of the place could only be described as  disgusting featuring such lovely surprises as a half eaten bowl of cereal left in an open drawer in the master bedroom... for weeks, evidence that the cat has been trained to use any of the hall closets as litters, and the piece DE resistance: three, count 'em THREE freezers full of meat both inside and outside on the property.

Did I mention she was evicted for non payment of rent? She'd failed to pay the utilities for months and therefore the electricity had been cut off six weeks prior.

... It was like cleaning up a body farm. And she'd been living in this with her five year old right up until eviction day.


This happened to my friend's rental. Guy gets evicted. Instead of trashing the place this guy cut off chunks of drywall, put dead fish in the walls, and sealed it back up. Tenant was a carpenter.

The owners couldn't figure out the smell for weeks. They repainted, got it professionally cleaned a few times, searched endlessly. Eventually, they figured something died in the walls, and started knocking holes in the wall. Turned out to be that piece of crap move by the tenant.


The tenants left the most unbelievable thing: an empty apartment.

Of course, it had been rented to them fully furnished.


My dad is a landlord and I used to help work on the houses when I was a teen. One time he evicted a tenant and we went to go clean the house out with some other workers. We opened the door and cockroaches fell onto us. Inside was the most vile scene I've ever seen.

Dirty diapers strewn about. Cigarette butts and soggy pizza boxes everywhere. The room where they kept a dog had a massive pile of accumulated dog poop in the corner. A crib with cockroaches crawling around and piles of trash everywhere that made it hard to see the floor.

One of the guys ran outside and vomited the smell was so horrible. It disturbs me to this day how a person could live like that.


Went to go check on an old lady who hadn't paid their rent yet which was odd because they were always on time. Opened the door and there she was dead, sitting in a chair with her collection of dolls piled on her. Disturbing as all hell.


My dad worked at an apartment style retirement home as a maintenance man and part of his job was cleaning up after folks had moved out and moved on. Anyways, he got a call one day to check out an apartment that had been left vacant because the managers heard some weird noises coming from the unit.

My dad walks up there, he's being really cautious because he has a suspicion that the guy had come back and snuck into the unit and was living there. So he cracks the door open and calls out to see if anyone is in there, and about a millisecond later a knife comes flying across the room and sticks into the door a half an inch from his head. He peeks around the door and the old man is standing there with three knives in his hand and he says, "I don't want to hurt you, Nick, but I have to." Dad nopes out and calls the police.

I was about sixteen, and I had only ever seen my parents drink once, which was at their wedding, but when he came home that night he immediately sat down and started taking shots of jack.


We had a tenant who lived in a shared apartment room for a few months. His flatmate was complaining about smells and cleanliness issues. When we checked, everything seemed sort of normal, very messy, but nothing extraordinary. After the guy failed to pay his rent again, we evicted him.

One day before the eviction date I sat with him and we agreed that he could leave some heavy furniture in the room to be picked up a few weeks later, but the room needs to be otherwise cleared out and he has to hand over the keys. He agreed that he would be able in the following morning.

Well, the next day he did not give the keys back in the morning and his room door was locked. I texted him and he claimed he had forgotten to return the keys and took them with him. I explicitly asked if the room was cleared out - except for the furniture - and he wrote "Yes." I fetched the spare key and opened the door and to my disbelief, the room was not cleared out.

At first I only noticed about 8 plastic shopping bags on the ground, a lot of rubbish, including rubbish bags lying around openly with actual rubbish in them. Dirty dishes all over the place, especially on the table. A lot of personal items still flying around.

At first it seemed his room was so messy, that he simply couldn't finish cleaning it up and had to leave after starting. Since the room was supposed to be rented to another person a few weeks later (luckily I already expected some troubles and postponed this), I had to start cleaning it up.

Then the real horror came to light. The plastic bags were filled with plastic bottles, and in those - you guessed it - was urine. There were about 30 or 40 of them, each containing about 1 or 1.5 liters of urine. The dishes were also awful, they have been standing around for several weeks by the smell and larvae in them. The least problematic dishes "only" hat mold/fungi on them...

It took me and 2 other people about 3-4 hours to superficially clean the room out. It took another few days of a few hours work each to renew and clean up the whole room (mold removal, wallpapers, carpet, cleaning doors and windows, ...)

We never saw anything of the rent that was still due and that guy even had the audacity to threaten to sue us. Also found out that apparently he has very high debt everywhere, so suing ourselves would not bring us the money back. We got really careful after this with our tenants.


I once rented a room in my house to a guy I found on roommates.com. He came to look at the apartment one night at around 10:30 PM and asked if he could move in...at that very moment. I should have taken this and realized that his living there may be a bad idea. 

This guy did so many bizarre things, I won't even be able to remember them all. He used to sit in the kitchen with the lights off, eating saltine crackers and watch my girlfriend and I watch TV. He went through a 24 oz bottle of listerine every 3 days or so. About once a week there would be crap on the toilet seat. He'd always talk about how cheap the gas at the gas station across the street was but didn't own a car...

Anyway, when he moved out, he did so without notice. I came home and there was a note on the kitchen counter that said "Sorry, I don't have the rent, but you can have this." He had left me half a bottle of Dawn dish soap.


My parents found some unfortunate stuff after a tenant moved out. They had rented a small house to a young guy. The guy had been pouring cat litter on the carpet instead of a litter box. He had also approached the neighbor to save some money on trash service. The neighbor would just pay him half the garbage service fee and leave his trash there. Unfortunately the tenant had canceled his service too and was just cramming both their trash in the house's crawl space.


I used to manage a short-term apartment building. One of my responsibilities was inspecting for damage and stuff after tenants left.

One time I went in and it was a disaster zone. Their child had stuck stickers all over the wood floor and walls, as well as scratched the walls up, the sink was piled with dirty dishes, the blankets were filthy, there were garbage bags everywhere...but the worst is that they had left remains of a watermelon. 

A watermelon that they had cut open on the glass coffee table, no plate under it or anything. Sticky watermelon juice everywhere, forming a puddle on the floor, watermelon seeds flung everywhere, watermelon on the floor, even a slice on the couch...and the rest of the carcass just chillin' on the table.

Like what were they doing?


I moved into a rental that my landlord had just purchased. They fixed a few things and let us move in, letting us know that they hadn't cleared out the random garbage from the attic.

A few months into living there, curiosity got the best of me, and I went up to explore. I saw the creepiest thing I've ever seen: a baby crib, right in the center of the attic, filled with a huge collection of long, rusty knives.


My last landlord had in our agreement a "mold clause". Basically he explained that he rented a unit to a guy and he lined the walls of the apartment with what I can assume was plastic wrap. and got the humidity in the house so high and was growing mold and mushrooms on the walls of the place. So when the guy eventually was evicted they had to gut the entire unit.


My mom had some tenants in a rental property who apparently were serial crap sacks and would live in a place until they got evicted, then move on to the next place. They'd do things like not pay rent while claiming AC was broken or some other property related issue then avoid actually letting it be examined or fixed. Long story short, after getting evicted they waited until the very last minute to move out, left a bunch of their stuff behind, and filled a microwave with hot dogs which they left to rot.

While my mom was in the process of getting a court order the TV show "Hot Bench" (a Judge Judy spinoff) called and asked them to come on. Everyone got flown out to LA and my mom got her money and the crap sacks got berated on national daytime TV, so I suppose it worked out in the end.


As a teen, worked with a friend whose dad did rental property management. Yard work, painting, light carpentry, and the like. Good job.

Come the day he sent us to a rental house where the people had skipped out. He forewarned us, but... most windows broken, doors torn off hinges, holes in every wall, holes in the ceiling. You name it.

The worst was that the toilet was ripped out and laying on it's side in the bathroom. Then people "sat" on the drain opening. When that got plugged up, they'd used the floor to urinate/defecate and shovel in dirt from the yard to cover up their mess in the bathroom.

Not weird maybe, if maybe chimpanzees were living there? Yet for sure like a war zone is how I can only describe it. My outlook toward "humanity" took some heavy notches downward after that experience.


Parents had rental houses growing up. One tenant got evicted and, before leaving, poured wax down the drains and used cat litter in the vents.


I was a landlord! We had a trailer (as part of some other property we purchased) rented out for $200 month. The type of people who live for $200 a month are not very clean as it turns out. Much less care about....well...anything.

When they moved out...

Where the refrigerator would have gone (they didn't own one) was piled bones from chicken. Including an entire thanksgiving turkey...just the bones. They had cats that must have eaten the meat off the bones...

How did we know they had cats? Although they did have a litter box for the cat(s), to clean the box, they would simply open a window off of where the 'kitchen' was and dumped the litter out... There was a 7' (foot) tall pile of kitty litter up against the trailer....awesome!

Oh, the house that was in front of this trailer, when those tenants moved out, they stole all the windows, trim, doors....everything. Carpeting, tile, wood flooring....it was all gone!



Went to an apartment after tenants evicted and found Nazi propoganda, a couple rifles, and an Uzi in it's original box with extra magazine, folding stock and a book on how to convert it to full auto.


Used to have a job that involved cleaning and minor repairs of rental apartments and houses between tenants. Usually it was easy enough, but the ones who were evicted often made it a point to wreck the place on the way out.

One particular jerk decided to pack plumber's putty into the sink and bathtub drains, then turn the taps on before he left. They had to get professional contractors to fix most of it, but I got to rip out a bunch of stinky wet carpet and water-damaged floorboards.


When I was moving into a house once we offered to clean it for a reduction of the security deposit. I found a half eaten sandwich in one of the closets, and 20-30 used diapers in the oven.


My older sister and her boyfriend rented out their house when they moved out west for work. After several months of non-payment, the young adult male and female tenants were told to move out. Right before leaving, the smeared feces on the floors and walls, removed every light switch and electrical outlet cover, destroyed the bathroom, and removed the locks on the doors, and left the doors wide open.


Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4

Some of this material has been edited for clarity.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.