25 Employers Describe The Stupidest Thing An Employee Did To Get Fired.

Bosses of Reddit were asked: "What is the stupidest thing you have had to fire someone for?" These are some of the best answers.



1/25 I had to fire this kid from a gas station I worked at, after he asked me if I ever poked holes in the condoms with a push pin (as he proceeded to punch holes in condoms). I have no idea how long he was doing it for, he worked there for over a year.

sicklyfun

2/25 Receptionist who forgot to wear pants. I was at a satellite office and had 4 employees call me separately to let me know. There were some previous issues, plus they were pretty sure she was on something.

tleb

3/25 One of the security guys at my company was caught masturbating to porn, during the day, at the main reception desk, by a female PA. When we had his exit interview, we asked him why he did it, and he just said he felt really comfortable at work, and got carried away while browsing reddit. He'd been with the company for years. The best part was a colleague of mine who came back from vacation a week later and asked what happened to "Ron". Someone said "he was fired" and immediately the guy said "oh what, did he get caught jerking off?" but he didn't even know...he just got the vibe that Ron would be the type to jerk it at work.

pooping_naked

4/25 Putting a customers info in the system as: first name: don't care. Last name: smells like shit.

Donnelly14

5/25 One of my technicians used our remote software to start typing to a girl who's machine he took control of. He opened notepad, wrote "what up slut" and then went to pornhub. Supervisor gets an email about sexual harassment the same day and he's gone the next morning.

bike_rack

6/25 I had an employee once test out the fire-suppression system at a restaurant. Turns out, it worked great; and we had to shut down the restaurant for four hours in the middle of the day to clean it up.

He's not the dumbest. The dumbest was the guy that told him the suppression system didn't work, so that the dumbass would pull it. That guy thought we couldn't fire him, since he didn't actually pull the pin.

That's right, he thought he could dare someone to do thousands of dollars in damage, and wouldn't get fired.

thepatman

7/25 Employee wrote "asshole" on the bottom of a customers oil filter. Customer decided to change his oil one day.... something something something. Fired.

red98muswha


8/25 I once worked in a retail store where we all had our own access codes that allowed us to do stuff, and if our code didn't allow us to do it, we weren't supposed to be doing it. On his first day during training he managed to catch the General Manager's code as he was typing it in and used it for about a week. Pretty much gave away thousands of dollars of equipment in the manager's name.

It was particularly stupid because he did it because he still had his trainee position which required somebody to look over most of what he did if he wanted to give discounts, etc. If he had waited another couple of days he would have been moved up to full staff member and could have given out most of those discounts anyway without anybody noticing or caring. He just couldn't wait to give his friends all the free swag.

overusesellipses

9/25 One of my salesmen had a customer stop during a test drive so he could buy some crack. On the up side he did offer to share it with them.

captdet

10/25 I had an 18 year old employee go to Vegas for a long weekend. He had been late a few times before and had been warned that continued tardiness would result in disciplinary action.

So this Einstein is headed back from Vegas with his buddy after they both blew all their money and they realize that they don't have enough gas to make it back. He really doesn't want to be late. Already you are probably thinking of the multitude of options available to these two fine upstanding citizens. They could call saying they were in a jam, they could beg for $20 and see if anyone took pity on them, or they could steal some gas. They chose none of these options.

The two of them decided the best option was to take a handgun from their trunk, go into a gas station, hold it up, and demand exactly $20. They then drove 1 mile down the road to the next gas station where they filled up, paid, and were surrounded by the police as they were attempting to pull back onto the road.

When I first heard what happened I was sure the story must be exaggerated or wrong. I knew the kid wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I never dreamed anyone could do something so amazingly idiotic. It still boggles my mind.

raven2007

11/25 A concessions attendant gave a pot brownie to my 75 year old door person at my movie theatre. She didn't press charges but he had to go. No paperwork on it either. I had him resign.

sonofpam

12/25 I was the manager of a Papa John's and a lady called and complained about a driver going to fast near her kids. Driver comes back, and I say, "Pat, a lady called, try and slow it down a bit." He goes postal in front of a packed audience of pick up customers:

"F*ck you, man. Who's side you on?"
"Not mad, Pat. Just be careful."
"Na. F*ck u- shes lying!"
"Pat- dude. Not mad. Just be careful."
"Ah, no. F*ck that. You and I need to go outside!"
"Calm down, dude. Not mad at ya. Don't worry"
"F*ck, you! Flpppbbt babble mibble babble!"
"You're done, man. Go home"

Most awkward pizza firing aside from when this dude tried to kill me when I worked on the coast. Pat's a nurse now.

royalbailey


13/25 Manager at a delivery joint here, we had to let someone go because they decided to deliver pizzas in a stolen car.

MorallyDeplorable

14/25 I was an editor on my college's student daily newspaper.

We had a photography staff that would photograph events, sports games, etc. -- but they'd also sometimes have to do stupid stock photo type things for feature or trend articles. Anyway, we had two photogs who were apparently in a group of friends that had formed some kind of... snake... cult? (probably had another name that they used, but we called it the snake cult when we found out about it.)

The way we found out about it was that we started noticing this weird symbol in the background of some of our feature article photographs -- on a post-it-note in the background of a shot of some library books, or in the shape of the food in a photo of some dining hall food for an article about meal plans. Once we discovered it, we looked back and saw it had been going on for months.

So yeah, we had to fire some photogs for slipping cult symbols into our student paper on a regular basis.

afeastforgeorge

15/25 We worked at a place that bought in used cell phones. She bought a cell phone from a guy and his Facebook was still open. She posted as the guy on his Facebook something like "I'm a big f*cking idiot". Guy came back to complain. She was fired.

yooki42

16/25 This actually just happened, our supplier came out onto my construction site and cooked everyone a free barbie. This one bloke had a meltdown and almost had a fight with the chef. Their conversation started off like this:

Guy: Where's the butter?
Chef: Ain't got no butter mate.
Guy: What kind of barbie is this without any butter?
Chef: A free one, if you don't like it, don't have it.

Then the guy blew up yelling at the chef for making smartarse comments and swearing his head off, while the chef thought nothing of it and remained really calm and telling the guy to "take it easy". Our site does not tolerate this kind of behavior, needless to say we kicked the guy off site ASAP. Lost a job over a free barbie and butter lol.

iamkevin

17/25 One of the lifeguards was really hungover so he took a shit in the pool so we didn't have to open up for the day.

[deleted]

18/25 I was the assistant manager at a store that had an actual time clock and a point system. For those of you that don't know a point system is basically just a magnet for turnover; One minute late and you get a point the same as if you are 30 minutes late, call in sick you get two points (if I didn't log it at least 30 minutes prior to your shift), no call no show and you get 4 points. It took 8 points to get fired at this particular company, and the points were logged at headquarters, not at the facility.

I had a single mother (dad bailed when she was pregnant) that worked for me, and she was the best damn employee any human could ask for; she worked hard, stayed late if it was needed, picked up extra shifts from co-workers that wanted off, and more importantly she was damn good at her job. Well, her son got sick on her way to take him to the baby sitter one day, he projectile vomited blood all over back seat. I saw the car and it looked like a scene from a horror movie. Needless to say, she didn't call in, she panicked and took him to the hospital, boom she had 4 points.

Over the next two weeks he was in the hospital, and had random tests (the boy was 4) so when those tests randomly popped up she would call in to be with him instead of having the grandmother watch him while she was at work. Twice those tests were announced while she was on her way to work so she had to call in and I understood why she did (I am a father). I didn't mind working the long shifts to cover her absence, no decent human would have. I received a call the day after her second call in, while the child was being tested, and corporate made my heart sink. I had to fire this woman, whose son was in the hospital, possibly dying, and I had to tell her that she was no longer employed. I spent over five hours arguing on her behalf to corporate, but it was to no avail. She came in the next day, I fired her like I was supposed to, and I immediately quit my job, without notice.

moms_spaghetti-os

Continued on the NEXT PAGE!

19/25 Forgot cheese on cheese pizza, twice.

FichTacos

20/25 I was managing a restaurant and did morning cash out (I checked all slips against the information in the computer). I noticed a new hire had really good tip averages the day before when I had been paying her out. The next day I was going through her slips and noticed a... discrepancy. Mainly that she had added a 1 in front of each tip and changed the total. How could I tell you ask? SHE USED DIFFERENT COLOR INK!

She was fired and we refunded the money... seriously, at least use the same color ink.

mckeanna

21/25 Worked at a nightclub. One if the workers called in sick, but he was actually going to some party instead. Could you guess where they went after the party? Yes, to our nightclub.

kazador

22/25 One of my cooks asked for a smoke break. Told him to go for it. He hadn't come back after 10 minutes so I looked out the window. He was smoking a crack pipe.

He came back in, started cooking some food, turned to me and said, "I don't feel so good. I think I need to go home." "Yeah Reggie, maybe it's because you just smoked crack by the dumpster. Get the hell out." "Nah man, I can still prep."

I then spent 5 minutes explaining to him why I couldn't have a crack head using a giant cheese knife. To this day, I don't think he still understands why he was fired.

djs9pd

23/25 I had a manager steal a bag that a customer had left on the counter. He completely denied it too, and I believed him. But the customer was sure he left it there, and asked to see the video. I hadn't seen anything odd, so I showed it to him... he pointed out the bag, which we watched until the manager of 10+ years took the bag and left.

Idiot.

1234567891011twelve

24/25 There was one time I had to fire someone because I sent him out on a job that would only take 2-3 hours to complete. Before he left, he mentioned to the receptionist that he was going to make it last all day. She mentioned it to me, and sure enough, he returned over 8 hours later. Being dishonest with a client's money is not something I was going to tolerate.

CopenKagan

25/25 I told him to stop getting high before work. I even told him he was a good worker when not high, and that I didn't care what he did off the clock. I literally told him that people could smell weed on him, and that he acted like an idiot while high. He apologized, agreed with me, even offered up the fact that it was, in fact, affecting his work.

Next day: shows up stoned to the bone. Sorry, guy. You're fired.

SlickMattyB

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Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like

Giphy

My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308

Saturdays

My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango

Iraq

I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina

$40

With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3

Crayons

Giphy

I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold

Giphy

Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.


I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-

Tomash

Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.


An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451

Microwaves

Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence

Giphy

How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"

"orange"

"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?

Giphy

I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)


The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.

fox_boi2

Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.


I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.

grumblecakes1

Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

Dskee02

Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.

justantherredditgirl

Jewish

Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.

Aslkurloz

Nutella

Giphy

3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.

vault_tec_redditor

Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.

Meh75

Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.

weirdatwork2017

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.

Frisby2007

Telekinesis

My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.

dude_bizarro

Ghosts

How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).


How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.

thebeststory

Dogs and Chocolate

Giphy

I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.

KlutzyHedgehog

Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.

SFCopperhead

Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.

SirRogers

Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.

MistalQueensglaive

Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.

BugsRatty

Stars In Their Multitude

Giphy

I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.

theedjman

Colorblind

My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

droneb2hive

Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.

moniker5000

Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...

10d4plus8

Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.

ScreamingPotoo