26 Embarrassed People Confess The Worst Places They've Ever Thrown Up.
People on Reddit were asked: "Where's the worst place you've thrown up?" These are some of the best answers.
1/26 On a guys dick.
I guess it worked out okay though since I really didn't want to see him anymore but also didn't want to hurt his feelings. Haven't heard from him since.
2/26 Puked in a bathroom sink at a house party. The sink was right beside the toilet... I had to hand bomb the puke into the toilet and clean the sink for it to go unnoticed.
3/26 Sushi restaurant with a coworker having lunch. I sneezed and caused a piece of wasabi to fly into my sinus cavity. My pain threshold was almost instantly maxed out and I ended up spewing yellowtail all over the table in front of me. From an outside perspective it looked something like this.
ACHOO! Ah! AH! AAAAH!! HOOOOOORK!
And as you turn around to looks you see a loudly crying and vomiting man trying to get up and get to the restroom as fast as possible.
4/26 Into my own lap, while sitting on the toilet with the flu. That was probably the worst moment of my adult life.
5/26 As a teenager, I used to walk to work in a very small town. I threw up on the sidewalk, and I had to walk by it for months before the sparse summer rains washed it away. It was to late, the acid had burned a mark in the sidewalk, and I had to see the outline every time I walked by there. .. for years.
6/26 I once ran a 5k with no preparation beforehand. As I was around the 3k mark I began to feel the unmistakable urge to chunder. Unfortunately there were so many people around me that regardless of where I turned my head, I would hit some unsuspecting fool. So I threw up in mouth and swallowed it back down. sure a little bit escaped and drizzled down my shirt but, 90% came up and then went right back down. It was so nasty and chunky that my stomach couldn't handle it and up it came again only to be forced back down through awkward gasps for air. Once the crowd around me had pulled ahead, I made my way to the trash can on the side of the road and let it come back up for the third and final time. And then I finished the race. not a good day and the last 5k I have run since.
7/26 In a bank. I was a young kid and idiot 7-year-old me decided to go in with my dad and promptly threw up on the carpet.
8/26 Was at the birthday party of a girl I was crushing on around the 4th grade. I was pretty sick the night before but I foolishly decided to attend the party anyway.
I threw up on the birthday cake while everyone was singing "Happy birthday."
9/26 When I was 19 I had swine flu and my girlfriend was taking care of me. I hadn't showered in three days so I got up to take one. Everything was so f*cking cold. I turned the shower up to a nice and toasty temperature so I wouldn't freeze to death. Midway through washing my hair, I felt... Not good...
So I thought "Ok, I'll just hurry up and rinse and get out and lay down." Seconds later I thought "Ok I really really need to lay down. I can leave some soap in I don't need to rinse." Milliseconds later I thought "Ok maybe the floor. That might be a nice place to lay down..." At this point I was really feeling awful so I yelled for my girlfriend. Tunnel vision... Darkness.
Next thing I know my girlfriend is standing over me and she says, "What the hell are you doing?" I realized I was on the floor in the shower and she reached out to pull me up. As soon as I got to my feet, with no warning whatsoever, EXPLOSION. I vomit all over her face, clothes, hair. I immediately began to think that I need to lay the f*ck down so I intentionally dive for the floor right then and there. I laid on my side and continued to vomit everywhere for another minute or so.
She's freaking out at this point thinking I'm having a seizure or something, screaming if she should call 911. After I lay there a second I felt a little better and the vomiting stopped. She's a f*cking trooper though cause she took me to the doctor afterwards and stuck around. That was seven years ago and now we're married and have a daughter.
Let this be your tip for the day: don't ever take a hot shower when you have a fever. Doctor said I passed out because I overheated myself.
10/26 On a man in a wheelchair, while at Seaworld.
11/26 Airplane bathroom, I lost my balance during the act and ended up spewing all over the bathroom floor and walls. Felt really bad about it but I was so embarrassed that I noped out of there as fast as I could and pretend that like someone else had done it and I was leaving in disgust.
12/26 One time I decided to drink a whole bottle of Vodka at home after discovering the girl I liked was moving away. Ended up throwing up over my pillow and then falling asleep on it. Mom was not proud of me then.
13/26 In high school I ran and won for student body president. Five seconds after they announced my glorious victory I threw up all over the stage.
14/26 While deployed to Afghanistan, my first time ever in a helicopter, surrounded by other soldiers, and all of our bags filing up the area in between us. In order to avoid throwing up on anyone else or on people's bags... I just threw up inside my flak vest... we still had another half hour before we landed...
15/26 I was on a 24 hour straight charter bus ride from Texas to Florida. After we all went to sleep I woke up at around 3am and felt a bit queasy. Out of no where I vomited and I'm lucky that I turned my head to the left because it spewed in the little pocket between my seat and the floor. So here I am with all these asleep people and I have puke and my hands and a little on my backpack. I decided to get up and walk to the bathroom in pitch blackness. At one point the bus kinda swerved and my backpack touched one of the sleeping people. Once I was in the restroom there was no sink so I had to wash my hands off with my leftover Gatorade and I threw my shirt away. I NEVER CLEANED UP THE PUKE ON THE FLOOR. There was nothing to wipe it up with. On the way back a little line shined on my friend's pillow and I noticed a little orange dot of splash landed on it. I didn't tell him. I went to my seat and slept the rest of the night next to the horrid smell. That morning the person next to me woke up and asked me what the bad smell was and I told him I didn't know. I'm so sorry bus driver.
16/26 In the car, while I was driving.
17/26 Canadian parliament. Sorry Canada, Ottawa was beautiful.
18/26 I was crying out of stress as my wife held me in her arms, and puked right on her. It was gross, but we started to laugh. It was actually kind of cute. I mean, it was a good way to lighten the mood.
19/26 On my bed, in my sleep. However, I didn't properly wake up, so I lay there in a large pool of my vomit for a few hours before I realized that all the wetness was probably a cause for concern.
20/26 In one of those horse trough urinals at a stadium. Bacardi 151 is not my friend.
21/26 I was about 13 weeks pregnant and ate a yoghurt about 10 minutes before leaving the house. I was outside a shop heading to my car. I felt the sickness coming and tried to hide between my car and the car beside me to secretly throw up. I never made it and threw up all over the back window of the guys car. It looked like bird poo. F*ck knows how! Unfortunately the guy came out just as I perked up and he screamed "What the f*cking f*ck!?" So I told him "Yeah bunch of geese just flew over this way. Disaster man!" And quickly drove away..
22/26 I have celiac disease that was undiagnosed for a long time. I have thrown up almost every place imaginable.
The worst was right next to a Buddhist monk in Thailand. While drunk. Because beer has a lot of gluten. Luckily I did not get any on him but it was highly embarrassing.
23/26 Church. I was an altar boy and was going to lead the procession during the busiest mass that Sunday. As soon as the processional music started I yakked on the carpet between the lobby and the church itself.
My sister thanked me for getting her out of church that day.
24/26 Over the crowded bar, and all over the bartender's well. Including all over the ice.
If you've ever been a bartender, you know how not cool this is. I left in shame before I was kicked out.
25/26 Into my surgical mask while in the operating room. It wasn't much and I'm pretty sure only the anesthesiologist noticed I was having an intimate encounter with my stomach contents, but it was still one of the most disgusting things ever. Got in my beard and everything. Ah, to be a student again...
26/26 The middle of Hot Topic. We were christmas shopping and I had a migraine. I thought I'd be able to make it out of the store and across the food court, but I did not. It did not help that all I had eaten that morning was blue fruit rollups and blue koolaid.
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