Actors Who’ve Gone For A Casting Call For An 'Unattractive' Character Reveal How It Made Them Feel.

Hollywood is full of extremely beautiful people. We see them grace the silver screen with other worldly beauty and grace. But, not all characters in movies are meant to be attractive.

Here, actors reveal what it's like going out for a role as an "unattractive" character.

1/24. I went in for the main part, it wasn't until I got there that they told me I was reading for 'fat ugly dude in line at the grocery store'...


2/24. This used to be something that really bothered me. As a child, I always wanted to be an actor, and I'd spend so much time practicing monologues, memorizing screenplays and making up characters. But, it wasn't enough.

I was pretty unattractive as a child, nothing I had even thought about until it came time to find an agent. My first audition in front of an agent, they seemed really pleased with my acting. They praised me for being "extremely talented" for my young age. Then, she turned to my mom and said, "We've got some unique child roles coming up." My mom looked worried towards me, then back at the agent. I knew exactly what "unique" meant. It took a massive toll on my self esteem and even though I did book a couple small T.V. roles, I never really took to acting with the same joy as before. Eventually I stopped acting all together.

I really miss it.


3/24. Well, I'm currently in rehearsal for my school's production of the Addams Family. I'm probably the biggest guy that tried out for the show. So that probably has something to do with being cast as Uncle Fester. At first I was a little hurt, as that's the one character I marked as not wanting. After speaking with the director, though, I figured that I'm the only person that could really pull off the part.

I guess it's kinda funny how, as the big guy, I'm the only one that fit.


4/24. I act in LA and about 2 or 3 years ago, I was called by a casting director for the Disney show "Jessie". They asked me if I was still 6'4" 275 (Of course I'm still 6'4". What a stupid question.). I told her yes, and she told me about the role. She said that they would make fun of my size, saying the line is "He's got more square footage than a Manhattan apartment" and asked if I was okay with that. I mean, I'm not a fat guy by any means. I'm football player big, but I didn't really care. I appreciated them being up front about it, though.

Interestingly enough, after the first take, a producer came up and introduced herself and the told me "You're too skinny for this part". Never heard that said in my life. But, she said, "Don't worry. Go right over there and wardrobe will fatten you up." Then three women stuffed towels in my shirt until I was suitably fat enough for them.


5/24. Remember the I'm a Mac, I'm a PC commercials? Remember when Microsoft came out with their response commercial, and a guy who looked like John Hodgman (Apple's "PC" character) walked on screen and said "I'm a PC, and I've been turned into a stereotype?" Well, that's me.

When I was selected for the role, they didn't tell me why I was selected or what I would be doing. They just brought me in and started dressing me up like Hodgman's character. The wardrobe person then walked me out to the Director, who had a crew of like 15 people around him. They all stopped and looked me over like a piece of meat for like 30 seconds. It was dead silent. The Director then said "My God, it looks just like him!" I replied "I'm not sure if I should be honored or insulted."

Don't get me wrong, John Hodgman isn't ugly, but he's no Brad Pitt. Well, I guess I'm not either.


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6/24. I'm a model based in Los Angeles, and I have seen the casting sheets from my agents and for adults & kids alike. When they are sorting for fat/ugly they always use the term "real people" at least once. For fat, they'll say "preferably overweight" or something so that they know the actor will be okay with being portrayed in that light. For ugly, they'll sometimes say "unconventional, quirky, awkward" etc.


7/24. I was cast as an extra in the "fat girl" sorority on the show Greek. Since I was an extra, all I was told beforehand was the name of the show, where and when to show up, and the fact that clothing would be provided. It was not until I got there, got my clothes on, and saw all the other girls with matching outfits that I realized we were the unwanted dorks of the campus. It kinda sucked, but I took it in stride as a commentary on LA beauty standards, as I was a size 14 at the time.


8/24. When I was a young kid, I was kind of odd looking. My parents had me do commercials/ small T.V. roles since I really loved acting, but I would always be cast as the "weird" or "awkward" child. It kind of hurts me to this day that my parents would take me specifically to casting calls looking for children described as "outcasts".

That's the thing with Hollywood; you can't be cool if you are ugly. And that can really mess with a young persons mind. Especially all those kids out there watching this stuff.


9/24. My agent used to send me the breakdowns (for LA) and they're basically all either "fat/ugly person" or "ripped/model look" It's fairly depressing. They have to be blunt about it, though, otherwise they'll get 80,000 submissions for people not remotely what they're looking for.


10/24. If you get your feelings hurt, acting is NOT the job for you. Serious actors take whatever part they can get because there's 1000 other applicants who will take the part.


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11/24. I'm pretty overweight, and I've been acting for the past year now. At first, the idea of going out for roles that were specifically for overweight people bothered me but then I came to this realization - "Yep, I'm fat."

It was hard to come to terms with in certain ways, but now I'm much more successful and enjoy the job way more. Still sucks that all of the roles are pretty much the same; loser fat kid or large loner bully, it's all the same. Wish there were bette roles for people who aren't "attractive".


12/24. My friends entered their baby (1 yr old) into one of those competitions where the winners go into a tv commercial. They were so excited when their kid was one of the 10 to make it into the commercial, they were telling everyone on Facebook etc etc.

Then when they saw the final version of the commercial, they realized that their baby was the 'not so cute' character who wore the "leading brand" diapers. They made him look unclean and made the lighting all dark and kinda brownish.

It was hilarious (for us).


13/24. I would think actors would be extremely pragmatic about their body and the roles that they could get. It's part of their product, after all.


14/24. Character actors know they are character actors. It's acting. I've played the ugly fat girl and the pretty girl. Playing the ugly person is fun, and it's not a big deal to professionals.


15/24. I was on a reality show called 'Guntucky' several years ago. I was much heavier back then and kind of awkward, mostly because I had just gotten divorced.

They wrote me as a clumsy, sort of nerdy dude who went to gun ranges to pick up women. Another actress on the show was the daughter of the owner of the gun range, an attractive mid twenties chick I had never met. They had me hit on her and try to score a date, really awkwardly. I pulled it off pretty well because I was still distraught about the divorce and because I was pretty awkward irl anyway (story continued on the next page...).

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The director was pleased with my performance because I didn't question what they wanted me to do. "Too many people get in front of the camera and want to be cool, they're scared of looking stupid. But it's TV, not real life." I had a lot of fun, though. The TV guys were from New York and had no experience with fire arms, me and my dad got to train them a bit so they'd know how to write the show better. My dad was cast as a member of a 'secret gun club' that consisted of a bunch of old guys who had never met irl, with me standing guard in the shadows as something of an apprentice. Unfortunately the scene with me 'threatening' a trespasser with my (empty) ak47 didn't make the show due to time constraints. But it's a nice experience I got to share with my dad.


16/24. I was cast as Gregory in Gregory's Girl because I was a pretty scrawny and goofy teenager. The upside was that I got to snog a girl I really fancied on stage for several nights, including in front of her slightly douchey boyfriend on Valentine's Day.

A year or two later I'd drifted into my Goth phase and so was cast as Dracula in a musical, so I definitely got cast for certain roles.

That said I was also cast in a play about a metal band that formed a boyband.

Great times :)


17/24. I represent actors and musicians. They literally put it in the character description.

i.e. overweight, pudgy, could lose a few etc

A lot of times they will refer to a character as... well... character-y. And sometimes they'll flat out say unattractive.


18/24. We were shooting this film, sort of a comedic-drama. The film was mostly dramatic, but had some very funny elements to it. The scene we were working on at that moment was very serious. Very intense. A kind of argument, where the other character is kind of pushing me around.

We both ad libbed a few words here and there, but in one take the other actor shoved me and called me "fat a**" and it totally took me by surprise. I didn't really know how to feel. I was definitely embarrassed. I just wasn't expecting it. The crew consisted of a lot of people I knew, people I'd worked with before and considered friends. So to suddenly have this person call me that in front of all them, it felt kind of weird. Since the subject of my weight had just never been brought up before.

At first I was a little mad, but not really. Just that he'd throw the more personal insult in there, during a real take while on set and in front of everyone. Rather than doing it during one of our earlier (and more private) rehearsals or quietly mentioning it to me before we started the take. But it probably wasn't even planned, I'm sure it just sort of popped out in the moment.

I was just kind of surprised and embarrassed (story continued on the next page...).

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I don't hold it against him in the least. He saw an opportunity and he took it. His character was supposed to be constantly bothering me, so it makes sense for him to play off my weight. His character would have done it, and this guy was really deep into his character.

He stayed entirely submerged in the role between takes. Which was fascinating. I definitely stay somewhat in character between takes, I stay in the same mindset. But I will still respond as myself when spoken to by cast or crew. This guy though... he stayed entirely submerged in the role between takes... and he'd go out of his way to interact with people. He'd come up to you and keep talking to you in character, talking about the current situation as if the story was still playing out between scenes. It was especially interesting because this actor was so different from his character. Not in his voice or anything, but in personality. The character was this insane and angry and paranoid druggy, constantly swearing. The actor was this really nice and infinitely polite ultra-Christian guy who hated swear words and violence and anger.

Seeing him suddenly switch back to being the nice normal guy during certain breaks was truly surreal. One moment, this guy is screaming in my face and throwing me to the ground and yelling stuff like "You fucking piece of shit!", and the next moment, he is helping me up and saying "You okay, buddy? I didn't throw you down too hard, did I? You'll let me know if I push you too hard, right?"


19/24. I help staff events sometimes and recently needed five chubby guys to dress up like Cupid (diaper, bow, arrow, wings) for a TV promotion.

In this case, the only way to get what you want is to ask for it. If you need a chubby Cupid, you goddam-well better ask for a chubby cupid.

And that's what I did, that's what I got, and it worked out great.


20/24. I'm an actor... and fat. I would probably best describe my body as Shrek-like, in the sense that I have a big gut but I also have very big shoulders. So I give off more of the "big guy" look than the "little wimpy fat guy" look.

It's definitely something that comes up. Casting calls will ask for "larger" people or request someone of at least a certain weight or measurement. I can understand that, of course. They're looking for a specific type of person to play a specific type of character. They'll generally warn you in advance of any lines/gags that make fun of your weight.

Many young directors will be extremely cautious about that sort of thing. A lot of student directors won't work it into a script, they won't really play off it too much, because they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

When I'm writing a project that I know I'll be the one acting in, I'll sometimes play off my out-of-shape lifestyle a bit. Because it's there, it's no secret. I might as well take advantage of it for the sake of the script.

I've never really had my weight brought up on set before. Not that I recall.


21/24. I am a writer and actor in Los Angeles. My fat and ugly friends (with talent) are by far the most successful of all of us, from regular commercial work, to theatrical (drama/comedy) work, to modelling. It pays to be unique in a city full of pretty white people trying to get the same job.

Now ask them if they get any decent hero/villain roles that aren't a sidekick or a total joke, it's a different story.


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22/24. I went for casting as a face character for Walt Disney World. I was told I would make an excellent Ugly Step-sister due to my height (5'9") and my "abnormal" teeth. They say they want the villains to be tall so they loom over the children. It gives a more menacing feel if you look down at them. Disney casting starts with your smile. So they make it extremely clear.


23/24. Not all that related, but in the sixth grade we had to do Greek Plays, and our class was doing The Apple of Discord. We had acting "auditions" and the person who got the most votes got to choose their character, the second most votes chose next, and so on. I, by some miracle, got first place. At recess I talked to my teacher and she mentioned that the best part was definitely Eris. I didn't know anything about Greek Myths, so we get back into class and she started writing names on the board. She asked what part I wanted and I, of course, replied "Eris." Everyone started laughing and then I found out why.

Eris is the douchebag who started the whole fight between the goddesses. Screw her, I had to be the fat goddess of strife and everyone made fun of me for weeks. Screw you Mrs. Nichols.


24/24. Hey guys, actor here who works in a casting office. I initially scoffed at this question. Of course they do, a successful actor of this size/look makes every cent of their living from going in for "fat weird guy". But I realized the disconnect here.

What you guys might not understand is that in casting, actors are talked about like objects, and they're fine with that. It's rarely spoken of in say, late-night interviews, because no one in the general public wants to hear about what they might consider cruelty. Consider these perfectly plausible character breakdowns that the actor will SEE when they get the audition:

-big nose guy

-muffin top girl

-ugly kid

-unibrow girl

Those may sound mean and blunt, but consider this: "big nose guy" knows he has a big nose and he makes thousands of dollars from it every year.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.