Adults Share The Most Ridiculous 'Kid-Theories'.

From talking swing sets, to the television watching our every move, adults share mind blowing and hilarious theories they had when they were younger. 

[Source can be found at the end of the article]

I thought the universe knew if I wanted something to happen/not happen, then the universe would allow the opposite to happen.

So my theory was to trick the universe into thinking I wanted something when I really wanted the opposite to get what I want.

Basically reverse psychologized my life. And it had a high success rate.


I thought George Washington was the first man ever. I knew he was the first president, and I knew the president's wife was called the First Lady, so I came to the conclusion that the first president was the first man on earth.


Whenever I got a cookie as a kid I would do this little spiel where I'd break up the cookie in several parts and then would only be allowed to eat one after having broken another one in two. That way the number of cookie parts would always stay the same - infinite cookie supply basically.

I was very well aware that at some point my magical supply always ran out but that didn't stop me from proudly telling everyone who would hear it about my personal secret to infinite cookies.


That you will get a different name when you become an adult. Like you are 'Mary' as a child and then 'Susanna' as a grown up.


You know how they say before you die your life flashes before your eyes? I strongly believed I was already lying in my death bed and recalling my entire life. I scared myself into thinking I already lived my life. I believed that's why I had the power to think. Like everything already happened, I felt real but my brain was actually in my dying body which is suppose to be the present and I am merely a figment of my history.


I used to think that there was a difference between a Dad and a Father. It always confused me as a kid. Luke Skywalker had a father, why didn't I? All I had was a dad, and he couldn't use the force.


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I used to have the perfect plan to survive a plane crash: I would prepare by standing on a wing or the roof of the plane, and wait until we were but a few feet off the ground. Then I'd simply jump up. The plane would crash, but I would only drop from where I jumped, thus remaining unharmed. I told everyone I cared about to make sure they also had the tools to defy the forces of gravity.


I thought that all humans and animals shared one huge fast moving invisible electric current that keeps us all alive and moving. And when someone dies it's because they disconnected from the main current. And when we sleep, we take in less of the current so those on the other side of the earth can have more.


You know the parking spots reserved for handicapped? Well as a kid I always thought the symbol of a man in a wheelchair looked like a man on the toilet. So I assumed you would park there if you were only going in for a quick pee.


I had a horribly distorted idea of the concept of trace elements. I thought there must be some of every substance in every other substance. But not, like, hey this lump of iron might have traces of a Uranium isotope. More like this banana must have traces of mustard in it.


As a kid, but before I could read properly I used to look at the pictures in my brothers childrens' encyclopedia and look at the internal diagrams of the human body.

There was one showing the skeleton

One showing the muscle system and circulatory system

And one showing the organ system

As a kid, I couldnt comprehend that, the human body could fit all these different things.

So I came to the conclusion, that each one of these diagrams was a theory about what might be inside the human body, but no one knows because its naughty to cut a person open to look inside.

Also, whenever I played a game like ridge racers on the PS1, I always imagined that the other racers were real people I was playing against, like an online match.


The squeaky ones could talk a syllable at a time and only when you were swinging on them. If they didn't make noise, they didn't have anything to say. I used to have whole conversations with them.....I was a lonely child.


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Remember the DS doodle chat thing? Where to send the chat you had to swipe up and it would get sent to the person who your DS was linked to? Well I thought if no one was at the other end then God would just get it so that's how I would "pray". I sent DS doodle chat things. I also thought little people never grew because they didn't have birthdays.


I had moments where I thought my life was secretly being watched by hidden camera's everywhere. To the point where once or twice I just turned to some random direction and made a snappy one-liner like when cartoon/TV characters do when they break the fourth wall.

I'm pretty sure this was before The Truman Show came out too, though just barely. And even then I never watched that film until years later in my teens anyway so there's no way I could have been influenced by that. But it does describe those fleeting thoughts I'd get from time to time.


That when you think of something or start day dreaming, you usually stare blankly at nothing, you're not imagining yourself doing that, you're actually looking off in the direction of the parallel universe where you actually did do it.


When I first started learning about cells and basic biology science in 6th grade I imagined that each human cell was an entire universe with its own galaxies and planets inside it, but they were too small to be detected by microscopes. Our entire universe was really just the cell of a much larger creature and it would go on forever like that.

I asked my teacher what she thought of my idea, but she said that's not possible and wouldn't call on me anymore in class. I was really disappointed because I was proud of myself for thinking of that all on my own.


I watched TV a lot when I was younger so I had always thought we were on our own television show and that I was the main character or something. Whenever I thought no one was listening I turned randomly away from everything that was going on and narrated my opinion on what was going on.

The people who knew I did this thought I was trying to be funny, but I actually did believe that someone was always watching me like I did all of the time to my favorite characters. Now, I just figured out that my theory was not wrong...


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I thought that I had super powers, such as flying, super strength and the ability to move things with my mind. I think I watched too much Dragon Ball Z and used to dream that I had beat up all the people that I didn't like at my school. I just couldn't figure out the correct technique to unlock these powers during the day. This theory was soon quashed when I attempted to 'fly' down the stairs after performing it perfectly in a dream the previous night. One broken arm, a fractured orbital bone and 37 stitches later, I realised I was, in fact, just a normal human.


If I ever had anything good happen to me a couple times in a row without anything particularly bad happening in-between those events, then I assumed that something bad was going to happen soon. It was silly because I considered a lot of small things good so of course eventually something bad happened. I didn't figure out life is a series of bad things happening until high school.


I used to believe that when you died, you'd either move up a dimension or down a dimension depending on what you did in this one. So for example, if you were really good in this 3D life, you'd move into the fourth dimension and get to live there with an extra dimension. Conversely, bad people got sent to the second dimension and had to go over people, it sounded so tedious. I still kind of want it to be true, I was a strange seven year old...


I was really obsessed with superpowers and really genuinely thought I had some that were just dormant and just needed to get to a certain age. Well when I was 11 I remember putting away the dishes that had just gone through the dishwasher. I picked up a glass that, as I picked it up, shattered into 100 pieces. So, for a short while I was convinced I had some kind of pyrokinetic powers.


I thought water was infinite. I'd sit in the bath bringing the tips of my two index fingers together very carefully so that a part of a drop of water would jump from one fingertip to the other, and it looked like I had created a copy of the original drop. I assumed I could just keep doing this indefinitely.


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I was convinced for no reason that all mirrors led to an evil alternate world, and my reflection was keeping me from going there by putting their hand wherever I put mine.


That there were tiny people in the radio. I confided in my sister and she backed it up and told me I was right. Imagine my parents anger when I took apart the radio to free them and couldn't get it back together.


When I was 7 or 8 I thought that all lesbians came from the country Lebanon and would go to other countries who had men and have sex with them to get pregnant. I thought that Lebanon was an all female country and wondered what they did with all the male babies.

This was around the time that Friends had the episode were Rosss wife came out as gay and left him and I think that Lebanon was in the news so I got lesbians mixed up with Lebanese.


I had quite a few weird theories as a kid, but my top was that this world was a dream the real me was having. I thought each night in my real life I would dream a lifetime in this world and when I died I would just wake up in the real world. I remember being really proud of myself for imagining everything in the world. And I was very impressed I created God.

A few of the more mild ones were that factories were cloud making machines and every time God wanted to go to heaven he would climb in a smoke stack and ride it up.

Also thought babies were boy or girl if the mom ate broccoli or strawberries when she got pregnant.


. I thought that when you reached a certain age a man would come to your house and tell you the "secrets that only adults knew" 

I used to wonder if everyone perceived colours differently. I understood that it's impossible to think up new colours but I thought that everyone saw ROYGBIV differently 

I thought that pixels on a TV screen were really a tiny person holding up a "color board" to a window (ie the pixel)

I thought that when I ate something, there would be a little person who lived in my stomach who would put in a bowl and mix it with the rest of my food. When the time came, he would throw the contents of the bowl up my throat so it would come out my mouth. And that kids, is how you vomit.

Once a family friend came over to my house who was heavily pregnant with twins. I was sitting next to her and her shirt didn't entirely cover her belly. I could see she had one long thin stretch mark and asked if that was where the babies were going to come out.

I was an interesting child.


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That the best way to lie to people was to believe the lie myself. So I tested this by preparing lies with detailed back stories. After this was overwhelmingly successful I wanted to see how else I could manipulate people which lead to years of self doubt because I no longer knew if I believed in what I was doing or saying.


My father was something of an anti-establishment rebel and I heard about the "rat race" often, so 4-7 year old me believed that office jobs included regular literal races of rats. 

Also, later (around 11 years old), I was assigned to present a report about newly elected President Bill Clinton. I knew Will was short for William, so I connected the dots and stood in front of class talking about "President Billiam Clinton" for ten minutes.


I remember reading a chapter in Animorphs where one of them survives the sea by morphing an ant and being trapped in an air bubble.

I came to the conclusion that with enough air bubbles in the water, breathing underwater would be possible and people just weren't trying hard enough.

I tried it many times by going underwater and forcefully inhaling.

The strangest thing? I have this vivid memory of succeeding at it the first time I tried. Never manage to repeat that success.


That you could actually "lose your breath" When I was like 4-5 I thought your breath was like a cloud of air and you had to breathe it back into your lungs after you exhaled. For example I thought you could lose it by exhaling then leaving the room and not coming back before it disappeared.


When I was about 7 years old, I didn't want to pee or shower because I thought aliens were observing me. All quite normal up to then, but the thing is that I believed they were observing me because I was in a play. We all were. Every alien was asigned a human, when that human was born, the script for the play was inprinted in their brain and so we would live our lives for the entertainment of our designated alien that would watch us in some sort of theater.


I realized that our brain controls every sense of the world that we have. So, our whole experience of the world is basically an agreed upon hallucination. We could all be giant brains floating in space hallucinating trees and other people and the feel of sunshine and the taste of food. For reference, I decided this before I was 10 and the Matrix came out just before I graduated from high school.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.