Couples Who Married Young Confess How It Turned Out.

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Get ready for some honest insight on what it's like to get married young from couples who tied the knot in their late teens/early twenties. Some have stayed together while others have parted ways, but no matter what the outcome has been, these stories are a reminder that there are a lot more factors than just age alone that help dictate whether or not two people are meant to be. Remember, age is just a number, but maturity is what really matters.

Source list available at the end.


My husband and I married when I was still 20 (3 months from 21). He was 26, and I was 5 months pregnant. I was still in college on a full-tuition scholarship and working full-time as well, but I had to quit school because babies are expensive, and I couldn't do all three things at once (be a student, FT employee, and a parent). We were poor even with both of our jobs and went through a lot of stress and hardships, especially financial and being unprepared parents with almost no support from family, but we were a good match and committed to getting through it all together. We just celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary this year.

I have no regrets about my "early" marriage- only about not being able to finish my degree. My son is a great person. He is in college now himself, and it was ultimately a good trade. However, it did frustrate me for a long time and limit my career options. My husband has been a great dad and husband, so I feel extremely lucky in that regard.

We would've gotten married even if I wasn't pregnant. It just would've been after I graduated, and it might've been several more years util we had kids. It would've been "easier" in that sense, but oh well.

I think the "secret to success" is that the two of are also best friends. We support each other and our strengths and weaknesses compliment each other, so we make a good "whole" adult. After all these years, we have common interests and goals and still enjoy spending time with each other. Since we have an empty nest somewhat early and managed to finally dig out of our financial black hole from being poor, we can now enjoy some fun time in our 40s/50s with travel and other things that are difficult to do with kids.

I don't think that age is really a factor in a good marriage. It's more about finding someone that you are compatible with in more ways than just passion alone. Find and marry your best friend, look for more than looks, look for companionship and common interests, and you will be in a relationship that can weather hardships, as well as, make the good times even better.

BlueCockatoo

My husband and I got married a few months ago. I'm 23 and he's 26. We've been together for four years (Three of them were long distance, and one was living together). I did my Masters in the UK. (He's British and I'm American). After doing as well together as we did apart, we looked into several different visa options in both countries and determined that getting married was probably the simplest option as far as all the legalities go.

The way we saw it, moving across the ocean and away from everything you've ever known is one hell of a commitment. Therefore, getting married just helped further solidify that commitment and fast-tracked the beginning of the rest of our lives together in one location. Obviously, we're still in the early stages, but everything is going well so far!

ThatsCatFood

I'm 24 and our first anniversary is coming up in November. People have been asking me since I got engaged, "Are you sure?" They love my wife, but I think they just wanted to make sure that I was happy. I told them to think about everybody they've ever dated or considered dating, and I asked them if they had to live with all of that person's quirks and mannerisms for the rest of their lives, would they be happy to do it? I said I would. 

Beyond that, my parents have been divorced since I was 2-years-old. It doesn't really feel like it's had any real negative effects on me because it's all I've ever known, but it did give me life and three older siblings, so I can't really say I consider their marriage a mistake. So, even if somewhere down the line our marriage "fails," I shouldn't fear that it was a mistake because it has and will shape my life, which is how you grow.

You never know what the future holds, and it isn't worth living always thinking of what might happen or what might've happened. You just have to use your best judgement, and do the best that you can to make things work.

ribbons1220

I was 18 at the time, and so was he. We currently have two handsome sons and are about to become grandparents for the first time from our oldest and his wife. We got married at 18 and divorced at 41 after 25 years together (23 of which we were married for). We are now 43 and re-engaged after finding ourselves and dating others. We have grown considerably in that short amount of time. For myself, it was with the help of a therapist and through exploring life by myself. We are currently seeing a marriage counselor as we both have changed into very different people. We still love each other and are planning on getting remarried, but as to when, we're still not sure yet... nor are we in any hurry.  

CrescentGaze

We got married just after I turned 20 and were married for 15 years. We have three beautiful children together, but in the end, we grew apart. He would go to work and then come home to play on the internet. He was young, and I guess he felt like he was missing out on stuff. I felt that way too, but I always put our kids first. He also hated that I did that. 

We got married because we loved each other and didn't want to be apart. We divorced because we wanted to be apart so that we didn't end up hating each other. 

I don't necessarily think it was the age thing. I think it had more to do with us not knowing who we were individually, or what we wanted out of life as individuals or as a couple. That's what finally did it for us. I have an aunt and uncle who got married at 18 and 19, and they have a great relationship. They look more in love every year.

hashhmashh

I got married at 23, and my wife was 22. We've been together for 8 years now. Turns out, you CAN have your stuff together in your early 20s AND find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. We are very happy together, and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

Wagglyfawn

We met in the tenth grade and were married by 19 and 20 respectively. Why did we get married at 20? Well, because we were truly in love and there was no reason to wait. It wasn't a 3 month courtship, at that point, it had already been almost 5 years.

She was everything. Unfortunately, over 25 years of marriage, we simply grew apart. There were never any yelling or screaming battles, but it became obvious that while we aligned at 20 till maybe 25, but we were no longer at 35 or 40. It was a hard realization. We both genuinely tried, but it just wasn't there. We've been divorced almost 4 years now. 

She has a boyfriend now that was an old friend of the both of ours. I don't know if I wish them well, but I don't hold any negative feelings. I'm seeing a wonderful woman as well, and everyone seems happier. I hate the term "blended families." I hate the idea that divorce is normal. I never expected or wanted it (I mean who does?), but it's just the reality of how things turned out.

Do I have any regrets looking back? NONE. Ten times out of ten, I would do it again.

dancesrarely

I married at 23. We had been dating for 2 years. He was a bit older than I was, but I'm someone who is old at heart. I took part in the party scene during HS and college, but it never really appealed to me. I was always the designated driver and responsible for getting all of the girls home and alive in one piece. It just felt right. He didn't propose either. We were just talking about it one day and both kind of just realized we were on the same page. We loved each other, were extremely compatible, plus marriage and kids were something we both wanted. I think he was more hesitant because he was worried I would feel like I missed out on my 20's, but honestly, I don't feel that way at all. We both had good jobs and incomes, invested, and run a business together now. We have two adorable daughters (4-year-old and 1-year-old), a flock of ducks, and two cats. I don't regret it even though we did have some ups and downs. My life is pretty awesome.

lunchesandbentos

We were married at 19. We celebrated our 8-year anniversary this summer and our having our first baby in about 5 weeks. We got married young because we didn't want to wait. We loved each other and didn't think the commitment of marriage would hinder our relationship, but rather that it would build it up. There were also some issues with my family, but that's a another story. 

It was the best decision I've ever made. That being said, I don't think it's in everyone's best interest to do as we did. I grew up a lot with my husband, and we had a lot of support from his amazing family. We literally grew into each other at a very important time in our lives.

The number one rule in our relationship is: We never lie. Ever. For whatever reason (and surprises don't count). His dad lied often and that was his biggest issue with people growing up. He needed to trust that people said what they meant. It's easy to communicate with someone who you trust and is being honest 100% of the time.

eboneau

We were both 21 when we got married. We've been together for 17 years and married for 14 of them. We don't regret marrying that young. We're very happy and together still.

We do both regret having kids at 25 though. We actually started trying right away when we got married and ended up doing fertility treatments. While we love our kids with all our hearts, we both wish we could've pushed it back a few years. We were too much in a rush for that and should have enjoyed our time together, traveled more, etc.

Life is good though. We've had our ups and downs. I never understood why people said marriage was hard- until it became hard for us. It was just a lot of different circumstances that all just added up to a hell of a lot of stress. Financial issues, job stresses, and losing a baby. It was like the perfect storm. We got through that rough patch, though, and now we're stronger than ever.

My advice would be just to make sure you really know the person beforehand. Make sure you argue with the same ground rules, you're on the same page when it comes to major life goals, you trust the person, and neither one of you is completely dependent on the other for socializing. We love our time together, but we also love our time away from each other with our own friends. We each have that time without guilt from the other party.

IWantALargeFarva

We were married at 21, and I'm 45 now. Our 25th wedding anniversary is coming up next year. Woo-ho!

When you are THAT young, chances are you will still grow as a soul and end up in a different place than where you were.

It happened to us. Couple of years after the wedding, we both found ourselves married to a complete stranger. Luckily, we found each other compatible ENOUGH, not madly compatible- that was for sure, but it was enough that we could at least work on it. That whole soulmate thing with people saying, "My hubbie is my best friend, etc." is great if you can have it. However, I don't think it's an absolute must. Life is very short, and human beings are easily very scared of being alone. Having someone to hold on to, to their loyalty, and to their comfort is more than most could ever ask for.

I am grateful she stayed on, and I am trying hard (even if I sometimes fail) to show her this. It's a great thing to grow old together. Our eldest just moved out and enrolled in college, our middle one just turned 16 yesterday, and our youngest will be 12 next year. The years go by now like a montage in a 1950s movie where they show the passage of time through a wall calendar dropping its leaves. Dizzying sometimes, but great when you are two on the bridge to steer the boat.

kissinger

I got married at 24. We had already experienced a great deal in our lives. In fact, I had experienced so many negative things that I thought I wanted a life with no real responsibilities. He also didn't want any responsibilities. We did both want children and thought we'd raise them like hippies to be carefree. We had our children at 27 and 29, and we went back to school right after to try to make enough money to support them. However, my husband didn't want the responsibility of working a job. I realized that running from responsibility wasn't going to happen with kids, and also it didn't have to be a negative experience. We divorced after 10 years. He's still an idiot. But I'm happy to have my children because, as it turns out, I wasn't able to have anymore after the age of 32.

missleavenworth

I was 17 the first time I got married, and she was 16. To put this into perspective, I was born in the mid 1960s in the deep South. While it was becoming less common for such young marriages to happen, they still did. My wife's mother married at 14.

I had a full-time job, and I had already moved out of my mom's house. My girlfriend's parents had made her quit school so that she could look after her little brother. Basically, they just sacrificed her education because they didn't feel like she needed it. She felt trapped at home. I went to pick her up one night to go to Burger King, but once we were down the road, I told her I was never taking her back home and she said, "Cool."

I went back the next day and told her father what I had done. He didn't care at all. He just said that we would have to get married. All of the parents involved signed for consent, and we went by the justice of the peace and got it done.

I don't regret it. It lasted 10 years on paper, but we were actually only really together for a few years. I eventually joined the Army and left the USA and never returned. I've been living in Europe for most of my life now. I've had an interesting life and that marriage was a part of it.

Metatron_Fallen

We start dating at 15/16 and got married at 21. Twenty-five years later, and we are still stupidly in love. Our kids catch us making out all the time. It was the best decision ever, and he's still the love of my life. I definitely have no regrets. We got married because we were both sure of each other and wanted to start our lives together.

SweetieMcCutiePie

Considering I'm happily divorced now, I'd like to say it probably wasn't our best idea. However, I don't regret it. We were in love for a while and really enjoyed each other's company. Our son came out of the marriage, and he is the center of both our universes.

5meterhammer

I got her pregnant by accident and fell for the standard social pressure to "do the right thing." I was actually planning on moving out and breaking up with her when we found out that she was pregnant.

PM_me_ur_swimsuit

We got married at 20 and 21 (F/M). We were best friends since we were 15 and started dating at 19. I was in my second year of college at the time, and as many of you know, college can be expensive. I was taking out student loans to pay for school because my dad made too much money for me to receive grants (you're financial status depends on your parents income up until the age of 24 or 26 I believe... even if they're not the ones who are paying for you to go to school). The only way around this rule is to get married, so your financial status becomes independent and based your own income (which wasn't relatively low because we were both young students). We knew we wanted to get married, but we couldn't afford the wedding of our dreams at the time. So, we decided to elope. We've been married for 4 years and are happier now more than ever. Oh, we also saved $50k in college debt.

hauntedhatbox

I got married when I was 22. We'd been dating since I was 18 and been living together for almost 4 years, so it was pretty much like we were already married anyway. I moved 4 hours away (from all of my family and friends) for his job after college. That's when we decided that it was time to get married as we also wanted to buy our first home together and try for kids. We bought our home when I was 23, and we didn't have our daughter until I was 27 (I had fertility issues). I'm currently 29, and it's been 7 amazing years of marriage (11 years together in total). I don't regret it at all. I love him more and more everyday. Of course, we have our occasional ups and downs just like any other couple, but we work things out pretty fast, and I know he will always be there for me no matter what. I couldn't imagine a life without him. He also takes care of my daughter and I, and he makes enough that I've been able to be a stay-at-home mom for the past 2 years. We are currently trying for a second kid also, but we'll see what happens). I can't wait to grow old with him and travel when we reach retirement age (our goal is 50, and we're on track so far). Life's been great for us!

pcbzelephant

We were high school sweethearts, married at 18 and 19 (middle school sweethearts if you want to get really technical). If you had asked me a year and a half ago if I regretted that decision, I would have said no. I would have told you I considered myself lucky to have found him so early in my life..... But then I found out that he cheated on me for a year and that was a game changer. 

I really regret wasting the best years of my life on him. I should've been living my life, gaining experiences, and sitting in a college classroom, but instead I was too busy having his babies and being his mommy. It has been almost 19 months, and I still feel like my heart is in shreds. He really was a good man and felt sorry for what he did, but unfortunately, sorry doesn't help fix anything once it's already been done. 

I understand why it happened. He was her supervisor, and she came on to him. It made him feel like a big man, stroked his ego, and because we had been together since we were so young and inexperienced, curiosity got the best of him. I get it, however, being sorry don't change anything and love doesn't conquer all. It's too late for me. I have three teenagers, a mortgage, and responsibilities. My children don't deserve to struggle and have their family torn apart, so I remain married for now. Will it be forever? I don't know about that, we'll see. Regrets? Yeah, I have a few.

stacyalisa

We met at 19, started dating at 20, were engaged after 1 month, and then married at 21. Why? I wanted to have sex. I'm a Christian and believe that sex is for marriage. I was tired of not having any. Do I regret it? Nope. We're still married (nearly 19 years). We didn't have any kids until the 10-year mark. Sure, we've changed over time, but both of us are committed to staying together, working through the tough times, and making things work.

EaHoyHyQuashyashDeks

I married early because I couldn't imagine my life without the man I married. There are pros and cons to marrying young. The big pro is getting to be married years and years without having any rush to have kids. Lots of fun. If you wait, you have to make the transition from single to married with a baby really fast. The cons is the fear of missing out.

There are also a LOT of cons to waiting. I know a lot of women who go through men like their tissue with each one not quite being "Mr. Right." Now, they are in a position fighting biology to find a husband because their biological clock is ticking. But now, Mr. Right is harder for them to find because the available ones were not the first draft picks, or they have baggage and drama from previous relationships. I'd think (but can't confirm) that the pros to waiting is being able to go through the tissue box?

Ventusername

I was 22 and head-over-heels in love. Part of why we wanted to get married sooner rather than later was because extended family was important to the both of us, and we wanted to be sure that our grandparents would be at our wedding. My husband was raised by his grandparents, so it was especially important for him. We were also just really eager to spend our lives together.

I'm 32 now. Honestly, I think I got very very lucky doing something that I probably wouldn't advise anyone else to do. I was too young and didn't really know what I was doing, but luck and intuition served me well, and I ended up marrying a wonderful person. We're still really happy together.

blinkingsandbeepings

I was 22 and he was 23. My personal goal was to wait until after I had graduated from college. He moved in with my parents and I (they made him sleep in the guest room) so, for the 2 years that we were engaged, we could save money for a small house. We're celebrating our 25th anniversary this year and have been empty nesters for about a month now. We wouldn't change a thing.

ZenMoonstone

Source

Posts are edited for clarity. 

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