Couragous People Reveal Their Rock Bottom Moments, And How They Overcame It.
Like the generic saying goes, "life is full of ups and downs." And it's true as much as we'd like to control every single aspect of our lives we can't and sometimes things just happen. In due time, with patience and persistent life will always turn back around.
The following Quora writers responding to the question, "What has been the lowest point in your life?"
Warning, stories may include some difficult and triggering content. Reader discretion is advised.
In late 2012 to early 2013: I am sorry, but youve got Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
I wont ever forget that moment, and the facial expression of the doctor.
Before that, I lived to full health. I use to lift weights, jog, date, etc. By late 2012, I started to feel exhausted every day (to the point I could not come to work occasionally), dizzy, and a few other symptoms like poor concentration and severe muscle pain. I was eventually diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalopathy/ Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This marked my life forever. I got depressed. I thought that my amazing life so far had came to an end. I could not work on a daily basis, I had to get bed rest in the middle of the day because I was so dizzy, etc.
You really feel workless. You ask why you, why dont doctors know how to treat you and a variety of other questions that only frustrate you more. Ive seen my life going backwards, and I lost it all: my social life, my great shape, sexual interaction, efficient brain activity and even ability to complete basic daily tasks. Most of you dont have any idea of what this is like, but it is very close to true evil.
Even though these were (and still are) horrible times, they also gave me a reason to fight, probably because it activated my instinct of survival. Not knowing I could work for much longer, I had to create a salary to survive on. Eventually, I made peace with my past and decided to work to become successful. I taught myself how to make money and how to invest it.
Today, I own a small Real Estate business with 10 units (which I want to grow to 100 units until I turn 33) and a few other investments. My net worth is currently a quarter of a million dollars. Due to my condition, I plan to retire by the time I am 33, a journey.
If you have CFS or any serious chronic disease, I hope this message inspires you to fight it off.
The lowest point in my life came right after I graduated college.
A little background...
I played soccer my entire life, since I was 9 years old, to the point where it became my identity. At school I was known as the dude who played soccer. Everywhere I went people would always ask me how soccer was going or tell me how good of a player they thought I was. This identity became ingrained in my head.
I ended up getting recruited to play for a competitive Division 1 soccer program after high school and I was excited. In my mind, everything was going according to plan.
Play well in club soccer, get recruited to a Division 1 school, play well there, then get drafted in the MLS (Major League Soccer)…
Unfortunately, I never had the career I wanted to have. I had injuries that made it difficult to play consistently and I had a knee surgery that made things worse. I never thought in a million years I would get surgery for anything and it was soul crushing. I still had a delusional self belief that I would make it professionally, because I didnt want to let go of my identity. I couldnt imagine a life outside of being a soccer player.
Eventually, I graduated college and soccer didnt pan out. I had a college career that fell short of my expectations and that sucked. I tried to ignore the issue and try and just enjoy life, but that was easier said than done. I started working as an accountant, and would come home and do nothing. I didnt know what to do with all of my free time. The free time sucked. I felt empty. I felt like I didnt have a purpose and I was struggling to find my identity because my old one was stripped away.
This was the lowest point in my life.
I cant reiterate how difficult of a time this was. To have something be the number one thing in your life and its suddenly gone forever. I felt lost.
I eventually took an improv comedy class on a whim to make new friends in Chicago. Ive always been considered a funny guy by my peers and Ive always enjoyed making people laugh. I never took time to explore this side of me because soccer was all that mattered. I had a ton of fun and made a bunch of new friends. I soon got into stand up comedy which has now taken the place of soccer in my life. I love this art form because it allows me to express my thoughts and sense of humor on my own terms.
Believe it or not, I have been living right at the cutting edge of mediocre all my life, even more so when I grew up and joined the police force. Id suck up my regrets, wear the uniform and go to work for years with no goal or vision.
I mean, one cannot possibly descend any deeper in to this crap hole of disappointment and self-condemnation. One heck of a tiresome work routine with no promise of a slightly better inbound, plus the pressure of family who are looking to you with their expectations.
A bleak darkness and idleness.
It all changed right here in front of you when I decided to start writing.
Though I had an idea to write online for the last 4 years but could not execute it for some reason. There are a mother-lode of social media platforms to provide everything one needs to get going but it never felt right. I wasnt comfortable. Not sure if it was laziness or cowardice or both.
An only site by the name of "Quora" made it possible for me to actually start writing. Some magic occurred and the least educated, highly insignificant, lowest grade public servant somehow became a fairly known writer.
I am a changed person! There is a future which looks bright now. I dont know how I will move things around, but I know it will happen. Motivation has befriended me and I am happy man, connected and engaged.
People mention my name with respect and appreciation. Its amazing. I love that and am highly grateful for having my idle dusted behind and kicked by Quora and you all.
You have awakened the sleeping giant.
I was 30 years old and was really enjoying my first year of marriage. It was our 10th month after getting married and my wife started throwing random tantrums. I tried to be good and thought that it was just a phase or that she had been upset about something and that that in few weeks it would get better.
I was fortunate enough to find out that I was being cheated on. By my wife who is my ex now, planned to go back to India and file criminal cases against me. As anyone from India will find out that the law there is outrageously crappy and it creates a lot of trouble. After knowing all this I did not discuss it with her as I knew that if she is knowingly doing all this that there was no point in investing time and energy. It will only worse my situation.
After doing my investigation and delving into past, only thing I found out that it was for money. Her boyfriend never objected any of her actions and she had planned to invest in him from the money gained from me
She left just after a year of marriage on our anniversary date. I was very depressed and felt cheated. I had no idea what will happen to my life afterwards. It was very hard for me to concentrate on my job and eventually I was fired. More was yet to come. It was further difficult to find a new job but somehow I managed to get a low paying job. Finally I had to pay a hefty amount to my case settlement. I was left with 13 dollars in my bank account.
It was an arrange marriage. After seeing many successful arrange marriage in my family, I had no doubts in getting into arrange marriage. Although she came from very low economic background, but I never thought that I should be judging her on that ground. Now in hindsight I think it was foolish of me to ignore all the signs I was receiving. (Continued)
Continue reading this story on the next page.
In India women can file case for domestic violence and dowery. These cases are criminal cases. On the top of it, these laws are so structured that police have rights to arrest and put you in jail, even before starting investigation. In many ways, India is an extremely corrupt country, there is no doubt that police and my ex all wanted to meet their ends, it's an easy way to get rich. There are many money extortion cases like mine. Some countries have declared this as warning for their citizens planning to get married in India. Although I had many concrete evidences but when system is corrupt and lazy, all you can do is to fight and waste your time or just give up and move forward
But today, I am all over it, happily remarried to the most beautiful girl in this world. I have also received an offer from a reputed company and planning to get my career back on track.
Although the time was hard, I never stopped believing that there is going to be good times ahead. Losing hope only worsens the situation and we should all keep moving forward no matter what the situation is. I had no other option, other than to believe that it will sort out and somehow I can still make my life meaningful. Bad things happen to life and setbacks are common. My friends and family were really helpful in making me feel that my life will get back to normal.
My lowest part point is probably right now.
I worked 5 and a half years in college and grad school, trying to do everything right so I can get a good paying position as a full-time User Experience Professional Design (UX). Its a pretty booming field, but Ive been looking for full-time employment for 6 and a half months, with no luck.
Ive had many interviews, some of them proceeding to the last step, until I get shut down. At one company, a very large technology company, I went through 4 interviews, just to be told that there is a hiring freeze and they couldnt have me on. There have been many occurrences like this, and after awhile, it has been burning me out.
No one wants to give me a chance, and its infuriating. Im trying to do everything right, Ive talked to recruiters, changed my portfolio, changed my resume, constantly looking for positions. Nothing, absolutely nothing. I worked my butt off in college, and what am I getting in return? I thought I was supposed to be learning delayed gratification: you work really hard and put yourself through uncomfortable moments so that there is a enticing reward at the end of it. I havent gotten that reward, and it makes me want to punch a wall. I know the world owes me nothing, but come on man, I have friends and family who barely tried in college and now have nice full paying jobs with benefits. It makes me think that theres something wrong with me. I hate it, screw you unemployment.
The lowest point in my life happened one night, a couple years ago. The feelings I had were accumulated over one night (as in the story below), they were gathered over months.
My then boyfriend was a negative aspect of my life. He would always make me feel worthless, he'd make me feel disabled and like a burden? And I was, I couldn't walk and was in a wheelchair but I was working on myself at that time to move on from the negative emotions I had.
One day, I decided to go out with him and get drunk, I didn't tell my mom I was going to drink, but I did. I had a couple of shots and a few drinks and I was sloshed.
I was slurring my words and I almost blacked out before I came home. Once I did, my boyfriend left me there with my mom and asked her not to yell at me, and left.
My mom yelled at me and shook me hard and I had a drunk conversation with her, I'll try to remember as much as I can.
Mom (angry) - "WHY THE HELL DID YOU DRINK SO MUCH? IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE YOUR ALCOHOL DON'T DRINK THIS FILTHY STUFF!"
Me (slurring) - "I'm sick of life. I need freedom, I want to be free from all the burden the world has put on me and I want to free you from all the burden I've put on you."
Mom - "THEN KILL YOURSELF! WHY ARE YOU ALIVE?! YOU DON'T DESERVE THE LIFE YOU HAVE!"
Me - "Exactly, I don't deserve the life I have; but why did you save me? Why didn't you let me die? I'm a worthless piece of crap!"
That's all I can remember from the conversation, I don't remember anything until the next morning.
I had scraped my knee and elbow. My mom somehow took care of me in my drunk/blacked out state and got me into bed. I don't know how, but it was a miracle.
My mom and I spoke that morning and I cried a lot. I haven't seen myself cry so much. I was having feelings of guilt, a lot of guilt. I was sick of my life and everything happening in it. I didn't want to live, I was feeling suicidal. I didn't think I deserved the life I had (at that point in time.)
I didn't think it was fair for me to be put in a wheelchair and have everything stolen from me.
The situation I was in, stole the most important parts of my life, that I wouldn't ever recover. I thought that my life was just a burden on my parents and to the earth.
I suppose my acting out helped my mom and I understand my feelings and our relationship more. I'm an extremely quiet person when it comes to sharing my feelings. I won't say what's in my head until I've gone over every feeling, scenario, and thought.
I sometimes feel that at that time I was destructive. I did things that hurt me and the people around me because I couldn't cope with the situation. I needed a way to let things out and I found solace in alcohol that night. I hurt my parents and myself that night, more than anyone can imagine.My mom understood the problem and helped me through it by spending a lot of time with me. She went out of her way to make I was okay and happy at all times.
I'm thankful that she spent the necessary amount of time that she did with me. I found ways to cope with anger, resentment, and other various emotions, that aren't destructive and are completely sane. Examples would be - writing, make up, singing, just things that I like to do. I vent my frustration in those things and it's helped me develop as a person.
I drink, but not so much that I'm sloshed and it's understandable. I felt that I needed that wakeup call and the conversation my mother and I had.
I was 38 and my marriage was on the rocks. Although my husband and I both had graduated at the top of our class with AA and BA degrees, he found a good job right away and all I could find was temporary secretarial work.
I had supported him when he was jobless, but he seemed to lose all respect for me when I didn't find a well-paying job like his right away.
He moved into our spare bedroom down the hall and wouldn't talk about it. We owned one car, so he would take me to work in the morning, pick me up in the evening, drop me off at home, and then head right back to his office to do volunteer computer work.
We had $10,000 in credit card debt from struggling through school and jobless periods. We were paying the mortgage on a big old house that needed lots of repair.
I would have been okay with us splitting up and each taking half of the debt, but he refused to discuss it, and pretended that nothing was wrong.
One day I was in between temporary jobs and my husband left his briefcase at home when he went to work. Inside it were travel-size bottles of shampoo. He never traveled for work, so I knew something was going on.
When I confronted him about it, all he would say was, Are you afraid I'm going to leave you? I'm not going to leave.
The situation was making me crazy. I had a dream about ending his life then finding his tombstone, which said, Rest in Pieces.
I started seeing a therapist every week, but when my husband had a single session, he told me that there was nothing to talk about" so he wouldn't be going back. I started to dream about ending my own life.
Every night I was stuck home alone while my husband was out with the car. Finally, I told him I wanted to use the car after work to do some shopping. He didn't come home that night until 9:30.
I yelled at him and said the car belonged to both of us and he had it all the time. He ignored me. I tried to grab the car keys away from him, but he jerked them back, got in the car, and drove away. He didn't come home that night at all.
I took the bus to work and when I got back he still hadn't come home. I emptied the cat box onto his bed, I was so angry.
All our bills were due the next day. I used the rest of the money in our account to pay them, the way I did every month. His payday was in 2 days and I knew wed have some money then.
But he never came back, and never put another cent into our bank account. But he did sneak back one day while I was at work and took his electric razor, some videos, and his clothes. I had to clean up the cat box mess on his bed by myself. I changed the locks.
When I saw my therapist and all he said was, "well, it looks like you have some decisions to make about your life." When our session was over he drove off in his car and left me to walk home alone in the dark. I never went back to him again.
My husband kept the car, which was in both our names. I rented an automobile for a few days with my pay check and found our car a few blocks from his office. It wouldn't start, and when I tried to look under the hood I found he had somehow chained or wired it closed.
The bills were all in both our names as well, and since my husband had disappeared, all the collection companies came after me.
There was no hope of me making the credit card payments by myself. We had barely been keeping our heads above water with both our pay checks. Now my credit was ruined overnight.
I tried calling the credit card companies and offering to make low monthly payments until things got better. The first man I spoke to said, "don't even bother." I didn't speak to anyone else after that.
I was making $9 an hour at a temporary job, which ended a week after he left. I got another temporary job, and had to ride the bus to and from work. I'd spend my breaks and lunch hours crying in the bathroom, so despite my having good skills, the jobs never lasted long.
I sold my wedding ring and a lot of our possessions to keep the house from going into foreclosure. I was raiding the dumpsters behind grocery stores in order to eat, and was terrified I'd be caught and arrested.
All our friends disappeared. They knew things had ended badly, and they didn't want to get involved, so they just stayed away.
There was one friend who had been out of town. He called and told me he'd gone out for pizza with my husband. I yelled at him,"Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've been able to afford a pizza?" He hung up and I never heard from him again.
I cashed in our life insurance policy, and spent the $800 on a junker car that broke down every week or so. That car was towed so many times I was cancelled by the auto club. I spent over $1400 on car repairs that first year.
I had no money to hire a lawyer or to file for bankruptcy. I was also afraid that I would lose the house in a bankruptcy situation, since I'd heard you were only allowed $10,000 equity in your home, and we had assumed our mortgage loan with $8000 three years earlier.
One morning as I was getting ready for work, I heard a loud crash upstairs. The wall of tiles above our bathtub had fallen in, and the tub was full of debris and broken tiles.
I'm pretty sure that was my lowest point. I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt I was in hell, and I didn't see anything ahead but blackness.
I'd like to say I got a good job and all my problems disappeared, but it didn't happen that way. It took me years to crawl out of the financial and psychological hole I was in.
I'm 64 now, and I've never considered marrying again. Somehow I paid off the house, which I now own free and clear. I'm debt free, and no longer have dreams about death and dying. But it took a long, long time. I hope no one else ever has to go through something like that.
When I was in law school, my mom was babysitting my baby. But she had to go back to our home country every 6 months. As I couldn't leave him with anyone else, she took him with her. I didn't have the money for the return ticket (about $1,000), so I got two jobs serving tables and saved every penny. I sucked at the jobs but was constantly begging for more tables. There was also an issue of sexual harassment. But the money was good. Finally, I saved about $500.
One day I came home after work and see that my $500 is gone. After frantically searching and being hysterical, my ex says that he spent it. To buy soccer uniform and supplies for his daughter. She was in middle school and her friends were playing soccer, so he just took the money and bought it. I was furious and completely crushed. For a moment, I faced a prospect of not seeing my baby for a foreseeable future. But of course, I went out and made more money and got the ticket for my mother.
The worst part was that the girl only played soccer for about 2 weeks before becoming bored with it and never touching those supplies again.
Pretty much all of 2014 and the first three months of 2015.
I moved to Texas for a job and a girl. That move ended up costing me $10,000 total after it was all said and done. The relationship was very toxic, I was depressed, and my anxiety was really high. I never got to enjoy my time because I was always working. She was unsupportive, cold, selfish, and unappreciative. It seemed like nothing I did was good enough. I was working a very demanding, stressful job. I worked over 60 hours a week and had a really long commute (80 miles both ways.) My constant working was affecting my dog too. He was having some behavior issues. He would get stressed out and would have accidents inside. My ex hated him and was mean to him. She is the only person he has ever growled at. My military career was in ruins as well. I was down to my last year and just wanted out. Due to all of the problems I was having, I was drinking very heavily and was a drunken mess in whatever little time I had off.
My ex ended the relationship in July of 2014, while I was away at my Annual Training. So I called my parents and asked them to help me find an apartment in Tampa, Florida, near where they live. They did so and my dad came and helped me move out of Texas. I used the last of my money to pay off what I owed on the lease, so I could leave doing the right thing. It took about 18 hours of nonstop driving to reach Tampa. But I wasnt out of the woods yet. I was unemployed for about 4 months until I was able to land a gig working nights at a grocery store. I was still pretty much a drunken mess on my off time and was barely making enough money to take care of myself, my dog, and pay my bills. My drinking boiled over when I ended up passing out due to dehydration, fatigue and hunger. I hit my head and knocked myself unconscious just before Christmas of 2014. I have the scar as a reminder. It was a close call and I almost died. So 2014 was my worst year. Youre probably wondering how I am now…
Fast forward to July 19, 2017. Im way better than I used to be. I cut back my drinking a lot, got back into shape, got out of the military with an honorable discharge, and I got a better job. I worked that job for about a year and a half, but quit to go back to school on my G.I. Bill. Ive been in school since August of 2016. I should be graduating next spring if all goes well. I was able to retrain my dog and cure some of the problems he was having. I also took in another dog off of the streets. My family has been very supportive of me through all this and I would be nowhere without them. Ive learned a lot of important things and showed myself that I can overcome difficult times. You can too. Dont look too far into the future and dont dwell on the past. Just get through the day. Tomorrow is a new day and you have the chance to make things better.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.