Gay People Share Their Parents' Reaction When They Came Out To Them.
People should never be discriminated against because of who they love, how they look, or who they are. Over the years, LGBT rights have made huge strides forward, but as some of these AskReddit stories reveal, not all is gay.
Thankfully, there are still "Coming Out" stories that invoke positive and heartwarming responses by family and friends that prove that acceptance is the most important part of loving someone - wholly.
Mom told the whole family and asked for advice. [She] told me she still accepts me and loves me, and we both cried a bit. My dad and I did not talk about it. He just gave me some extra allowance money... Yes, just like the South Park episode.
Me: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay."
Mum: "You know we will still want grandchildren."
My very conservative, quite homophobic father took me to Thailand for a graduation gift. On the plane ride over we laughed and joked about how I was the tomboy of the family, and I was the [manliest] despite having three brothers.
One night of drinking at a sketchy open air bar [he] found me making eyes at a very lovely young Thai woman. Daddy gave me a very hurt confused look as he saw me kiss this beautiful young woman.
Attempting damage control I started to explain.
"Daddy, you know how much of a tomboy I am? Well, part of that is, I've gotta love the ladies!"
Dad nodded sagely and proceeded to have a word with the bar manager. Money was exchanged.
Turns out my new friend was a prostitute, and my dad just paid for her to come back to my hotel room.
... Geeze Dad … Thanks?
Kicked me out. No more financial support. That was their dumb move as before that they could manipulate me with money.
Our relationship improved after they couldn't manipulate me anymore. I had a job and moved in with my girlfriend and was happier than [I had] ever been. Planning on proposing to her this summer.
Also, my parents have done a [complete] 180 since then. My mom texts my girlfriend instead of me, dad invited us and girlfriend's family up to the lake house this weekend, etc. They even offered to pay for our wedding should we get married.
My mom asked me if I was gay and I said yes. Later, when she was pumping gas I saw she was crying. I got out of the car and said, "I know, gas prices are outrageous.
My mom thought I was joking. I had to reassure her about five times [that] I was not messing with her, which maybe says more about me than it does about her. She was super accepting though. My brother was the same way when I later told him, skepticism followed by acceptance.
My dad is aware, but we haven't talked about it at all. My mom told him for me. I get the impression [that] he doesn't give [a] damn, as our relationship is better than ever.
So, except for the fact [that], I had to say I wasn't joking about 20 times, it was awesome.
I texted my mom, and then I bailed out. I was in my English class when it happened, and I don't know why. We were watching Billy Elliot, and I just felt like I had to do it. Having them not know was really making me panic. I skirted around it for a bit, just saying stuff like, "I have to tell you something", 'You're going to hate me", etc. I never actually texted the words "I'm gay", instead, after I said, 'You're going to hate me.' She said, 'I could never hate you'.
I replied with, "You hated [my sister]".
That [was] the last message I sent, and she didn't reply after that. I ran out of my English class because I was having a panic attack. When I got home, I just sat in my room, and a few hours later, when my mom got home, she came in my room, she didn't say anything she just put my favorite chocolate on the end of my bed.
Woman here. When I told my mom, she looked a little confused for a while [and] then said, "Well couldn't you just marry a gay man and have a woman lover on the side?"
Uh, no. Not doing that.
I wrote this long, serious letter to my mom from college about everything. I called her the same day I mailed it and told her over the phone. I was kind of beating around the bush and she finally said, "So, you're telling me you're gay? I've known that for years. Your father and I both knew. So, what else is going on?" It's been a non-issue ever since. She celebrates my loves and consoles my heartbreaks. I couldn't ask for better.
My mom asked me what I wanted for dinner. I asked if my boyfriend could stay for dinner. She and my dad just looked at each other, she shrugged and said, "Okay, yeah, but what do you want for dinner?" And that was that.
I came out to my parents when I was 19. I was living on my own and had started seeing a guy and thought I would tell them I had someone important in my life. My mother said she didn't want to meet him, didn't want me to talk about him in front of her, or even mention his name in her presence. My father told me he would pray that I would be miserable. I guess you could say, it was less than ideal.
When I came out as pansexual, my mom was really confused and a little upset. But I basically explained it to her and said it is what it is and asked if she wanted to meet my (trans) GF anytime soon. She said she wanted time to process [it all], but still loves me.
She eventually did meet her, and my mom likes my GF a lot. She still struggles with pronouns and slipping up. She eventually also told my aunt, which isn't okay and keeps telling people I'm bi.
My mom was on the verge of crying because she was happy I trusted her enough to tell her. Kept telling me how much she loves me, and she's never treated me different since. That's the one thing I hate. People treat me different once I came out as gay. I'm no longer a friend, I'm a gay friend. Stuff like that. But my mom carried on and didn't change. Bless her precious heart. I love her too much.
My dad and stepmom reacted a bit weirdly. We were going through a rough time for other reasons when I decided "F*** it" and just changed my relationship status on Facebook to in one with my boyfriend at the time. They got mad at me saying how I don't trust them and how embarrassing it would be for someone to be like, "Oh, your son is gay" without them realizing. They were making a big thing of how they would be braver than I was and would have come out to their parents directly, instead of, like how [I] did. And then, they completely flipped it when we started discussing the other problems we had. The exact line was, "You're gay? So what. Big deal." So, that was fun.
We ended up patching things up and we have an amazing relationship. I'm still the gay son to them, but I realize I have it better than a lot of other people. My dad still makes "You haven't tried a girl yet" comments and I'm not sure if he's joking or serious, but they love me, so that's all I can ask for.
"We know. No more sleepovers." I was 17.
I told my parents that I was gay at 2:00 AM after we all got home from a family friend's Christmas party. My dad was a little tipsy, and they had just changed into their pajamas to go to bed. I knocked on their door and came in to tell them and my mom just looked at me bewildered and said,"We have such random children."
My mom's reaction was just something along the lines of, "Oh, I didn't know that!" She's always been super chill and supportive, along with all my family members on her side.
I don't remember my dad's reaction, but he isn't supportive. He says he loves me no matter what, but he doesn't agree with it. I wish I could just be happy with the fact that he loves me, but it really hurts knowing that he sees me as a lesser human being.
My brother had come out as gay to my parents and my mom flipped her s***. Reading books on "How to Fix Your Gay Child", sending him to a Christian school, forcing him to be straight. She essentially put so much stress on him that he moved out. When I came out to her, I had already moved out. She said that she would have accepted me. I pointed out everything she did to my brother and told her to [go] f***herself. My dad, on the other hand, said as long as we're happy and healthy, that's all that matters to him.
Well, I came out when I was 14. My parents were okay with it, but my mom was very confused.
"But... You look like a girl."
So, my sister told her, "Yeah mom, she's a lipstick lesbian."
She's passed on now, but she would forever introduce me to new people like this, "And this is my daughter Ariel. She's a lesbian. OH, BUT NOT LIKE THOSE GUY ONES! She's a LIPSTICK lesbian."
I think at best I'm a Chapstick lesbian but... Oh well.
I told them and my Mom looks at my dad [and says],
"Haha, told you!"
I love my parents…
Made a post on MySpace letting all [of] my friends know. Since my parents didn't have an account, I figured they wouldn't find out for a while. The next day, my mom calls from across the country, where she's helping my sister settle into college. She flips out because I left the computer logged in and she saw the post right before she left to catch her flight. Apparently, she cried the whole way there.
After returning, [my parents] sat me down and told me that I was not allowed to be gay in their house. They gave me a bunch of books about "Praying the Gay Away" and told me to figure it out. My dad warned me that if I chose to be gay he would never want to see my boyfriend. I would not even be allowed to bring him to visit for Christmas. Then, he told me he was certain I would never be happy and that in all likelihood I would get AIDS and eventually die.
I was 14.
To this day, they still feel the same way. We don't talk about it at all. I can't bear to lose them from my life, but I refuse to be miserable so they can feel satisfied in their beliefs. I've tried things their way and it made me so unhappy I attempted suicide, but they were no help. To them, the deep unhappiness was a symptom of the gay "lifestyle". They are both doctors so they are intelligent people. It's just impossible to get them to see the other side of this because of their religious beliefs. Ignorant people aren't necessarily stupid.
Now I am 25, living on my own and very satisfied with who I am. The thing about trying times like that is how strong a person they make you. It sucked to have to go through a thing like that, yeah, but I made it out alive and more assured in myself than most people my age. Life's "problems" seem so trivial now because I know the greatest struggle I will likely ever have is now behind me. It's liberating, really.
My mom didn't believe me. [She thought] I was trolling her to see what they would do if I really was gay. She continued to not believe me for six months, even after I started dating someone.
My dad said, Duh."
My mom revealed to me that she was a lesbian. I'd known she had romantic feelings for a friend of hers in the past, but I didn't know she was a lesbian.
Shockingly, my dad had a big problem with it until he converted to Christianity. Since he became a devout Christian, he's been accepting of my sexuality and even suggested he'd be open to attending my wedding. So, that was a plus.
I'm one of the lucky ones.
I came out to my mom while drying my hair with a towel and she just hugged me. She was only upset I told close friends before her.
We went downstairs to tell my dad and while I told him an advert came on showing female models for a shampoo advert and he just pointed at the TV and said, "You'll look what you'll miss out on now!"
All round, good times. My parents are amazing.
My mom looked at me in disbelief for a second, then proceed to say, "... Are you a top or a bottom?"
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.