Horrified People Share The Worst Secret Santa Gift They've Ever Received.

1. We had one manager called Simon that should never ever have been allowed to manage a team. He was a bumbler, didn't know the job, didn't know how to motivate people and was just awful. Nice guy outside work, but clearly out of his depth.

I need you to picture this guy in your mind. He's round, balding, glasses and peeking out from the collar of his shirts is an overwhelming about of chest/back hair- it's like he's got a jumper attached to his skin.

I opened my present in front of the office. It was a Jigsaw, of one of Simon's private holiday photos, topless, in a pool with a Dolphin. Emblazoned across it was "Merry Christmas, love from Simon xxx"

I opened it to a bit of general hilarity from those around me. I smiled, despite the slight nausea and held it up.

"Guess I figured out who my secret santa is then? Thanks Simon. I think."

"What? I didn't buy that, I got Dave! Who the hell got hold of my photos?"

I still to this day do not know who bought that gift.

ScoutManDan

2. A brand new unopened copy of Windows 95 (in 2014)

Taintius_thundercck

3. For Christmas in 1983 I received a book with the title 99 reasons the World will end in 1980.

SplendaSpice

4. One year we wrapped up half my uncles wardrobe individually and presented it to him as if they were gifts of new clothes. It was fun watching him do the whole fake surprise thing, and then see him grow skeptical, and then realize what is going on. He proceeded to have to unwrap everything so that he could put it back.

Lazoord

5. I know a guy who melted off all a candle's wax and poured it into a separate container, then wrapped the wick in hair, leaving just the top unwrapped, then he actually (Continued)


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then he actually poured the wax back in and let it solidify, making sure to liquefy it once more in order to flatten the top. Then the gift came up and many people wanted this candle, thinking it to smell very good. They used the candle and were met with the smell of burning hair.

KalebMW99

6. I gave one of my good friends a normal gift with a card. She opened the gift and read the card which said, "If you don't like this gift, there's another one for you in your car." I put the other gift, wrapped neatly in a box, in the back seat of her car. When she got the chance, she opened the second gift and read the card. The second gift was a big, black dildo the size of a lumberjack's forearm. The card said, "If you don't like the first gift, you can go screw yourself."

We both got a laugh out of it.

religiousgrandpa

7. Those pervy Japanese steam games, idk why but my friend just sent me one and signed it "merry christmas you disappointment."

TheDJZ

8. Last year I received a trashy romance novel called "Pleasing Her Seal" (double entendre on point, dude was a navy seal). But, bonus, the gift giver also figured out all the information he needed to subscribe me to the book club, so the real surprise came a month later, when I received 3 more trashy novels at my doorstep, and the next month, until I had to call them and cancel.

I now have a collection of smut.

CheetosChickenFrys

9. I witnessed a coworker receive a subscription to pornhub and a box of tissues in the middle of a busy office. Lucky boy.

Lukebr4

10. My coworker gave my other coworker a "pocket pussy" because he thought everyone would be opening their presents privately. But actually, we had to sit in a circle while we took turns opening our presents. When it came time for him to open his, (Continued)


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When it came time for him to open his, everyone was so floored. The crazy shenanigans that unfolded is something that I'll always laugh at.

Mr_Funnybones

11. A few years back my father in law lost the tip of his finger when trying to fix the garage door. They were able to save it and it was given away at our family white elephant exchange. Now that was messed up, but the following year the Uncle that had "won" it brought it back. This time though it was encased in resin and placed in a shadow box with text saying "You've been given the finger." My father in law won it again and now refuses to put it back into the gift exchange.

wamorgan29

12. I ALWAYS buy my wife at least one gag gift a year.

So this year I bought her a "Peequality" - - - it's a device that allows her to stand up while she pees. Almost like a plastic dick funnel.

sporgi

13. The most depressing one I've heard about is when my boyfriend, as a kid, received a scratch lottery ticket packaged in a Playstation box. Obviously, he didn't win anything.

cosmicdebriz

14. The most entertaining was a brand new unopened toilet seat, mainly because there was an older guy there that needed one and was in trouble with his wife because he kept forgetting to get one at the store.

wallaceant

15. A 1970's paperback nudist camp directory of the U.S.

IrishRun

16. A framed and mounted taxadermied mouse skin (sans head and feet). Complete with a (Continued)


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Complete with the tag with the latin name.

During the White Elephant (that gift game where you keep trading gifts with people), my son watched that thing like a hawk and as soon as he unwrapped his gift he traded it for the mouse. He was the happiest 6 year old in the room.

auntbabe

17. Dude brought a huge box, like big enough for a dorm refrigerator plus packing material. It was wrapped and had a bow on top, but the top was bulging a bit, and every so often it seemed to move on its own. When the package was finally unwrapped, it was revealed that the box had not been taped shut. The flaps parted to release a bunch of helium balloons which rose slowly toward the ceiling, carrying a very large pair of red, silk, women's panties beneath them.

yourdungeonmaster

18. GrandMother in law gave my dad combs for a number of years. He'd maintained a shaved head since before he got married to my mom.

straydog1980

19. My mum once found a crappy little charm bracelet in the street in Ireland, in the gutter, covered in mud. She cleaned it, wrapped it up and gave it to my brother's fianc for Christmas that year. When she opened it she (Continued)


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When she opened it she thought it was hilarious! Now, every year, they gift it back to each other every Christmas. This has been going on for nearly 10 years.

_Polite_as_F

20. Christmas themed men's boxer shots. Clearly re-gifted because the box smelled of smoke and looked old (my secret santa was a smoker)

I'm a girl...

SylvieK

21. I got poop.

No, seriously, I got a Coprolite, which is fossilized Dinosaur poo. It is AWESOME, and I was very happy to receive it. There really haven't been many terrible gifts- if you went through the trouble of signing up, you probably aren't going to intentionally send a rotten gift- but there are a fair number of "No Gift" disappointments. The credit system means that if you fail to send a gift, or send a really horrible one intentionally, you are banned from future exchanges.

Phantom_Scarecrow

22. Some students got together and bought the crabby old nun that ran the confirmation class an "African Grey" parrot that had been taught an extensive repertoire of cuss words and obscene phrases.

They thought it would scandalize her. Instead, she later said she loved it and that the cussing parrot was a "conversation piece" in the convent.

Back2Bach

23. I've had a lot of fun giving the"World's Okayest Girlfriend" and "World's Okayest Boss" coffee mugs from Worlds Okayest.

If you give them to the right person the reaction can be hilarious. For instance, I bought one for my boss and left it on his desk without a card or anything. He spent the entire day wondering who gave it to him and if it was a joke or not.

It wasn't, he's a terrible boss.

dont_drink_the_milk

24. My aunt once gave my mom a framed photo she had taken at the zoo of two tortoises getting it on.

My mom did what anyone would have done and (Continued)


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My mom did what anyone would have done and hung it up on the wall behind the toilet for everyone to see.

That was a good 10 or so years ago and my mom has moved twice since receiving it and still hangs it up behind the toilet.

mplsleprechaun

25. One year my Uncle got stuck with a brick, which his wife made him get stuck with.

So, to take his revenge he buckled the brick into the front passenger seat and "made" her ride in the back with their daughter.

Every year since then, the brick always comes back, and whoever had it last year signs and dates it.

Kolada

26. My brother gave me a hand turkey that he drew minutes earlier for Christmas. This would have been ok if he was 5 or something... He was 21 years old.

I framed it and gifted it back to him the next year.

Picklefingers69

28. A ziploc bag filled with cotton balls with the words "ghost poos" written on the bag in sharpie.

Thewrongbakedpotato

29. Sore throat medicine... I didn't have a sore throat.

Waffletits83

30. A rubber Hulk Hogan figurine (it looked like it was a Christmas ornament with the loop snipped off) glued to a very bizarre toy horse. An elderly friend of the family gave it to me and wouldn't stop mentioning how "they are supposed to look like that; that's how it came from the store" even though I didn't voice any doubts.

It's also kind of the best gift I ever got.

The_Brain_Fckler

31. Didn't receive but accidentally gifted this. It was Christmas time about 10 years ago and like usual the whole family convened at my grandmother's for gifting, food, drinking etc. Under the impression that it was a secret Santa 16 year old me thought it would be hilarious to buy a cousin a plush chlamydia toy. As soon as all the grand kids sat down to exchange secret Santa gifts my grandmother had the great idea that we play white elephant so she sits down and we all start playing. You can't really tell a 65 year old woman no in this scenario. So the game goes round and she is last, and of course she selects the gift intended for my cousin. As she opens it she looks confused and asks what it is. My mother through uncontrollable laughter tells the room I gave my grandmother chlamydia... The look on her face and super French Canadian noise she made while dropping the plush STI will forever be seared into my memory.

the_cckie_monster

31. Didn't receive but accidentally gifted this. It was Christmas time about 10 years ago and like usual the whole family convened at my grandmother's for gifting, food, drinking etc. Under the impression that it was a secret Santa 16 year old me thought it would be hilarious to buy a cousin a plush chlamydia toy. As soon as all the grand kids sat down to exchange secret Santa gifts my grandmother had the great idea that we play white elephant so she sits down and we all start playing. You can't really tell a 65 year old woman no in this scenario. So the game goes round and she is last, and of course she selects the gift intended for my cousin. As she opens it she looks confused and asks what it is. My mother through uncontrollable laughter tells the room I gave my grandmother chlamydia... The look on her face and super French Canadian noise she made while dropping the plush STI will forever be seared into my memory.

the_cckie_monster

Patcharin Saenlakon / EyeEm / Getty Images

Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.

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