'I Couldn't Remember My Own Name.' Pregnant Women Share Their Most Hilariously Dumb Pregnancy Brain Moments

1. I walked into the house and thought, I should check the answering machine. I then stood in the kitchen trying to remember where the answering machine was until I realized I havent had an answering machine in over 12 years.

Cierra Shelton, Facebook

2. I couldnt get the microwave to work I kept pushing the start button but it wouldnt turn on. When I started crying my husband walked over, closed the microwave door, and hit start. It worked.

Brittany Wade Ratliff, Facebook

3. I was running the register at work and tried to swipe a $20 bill through the credit card machine. I then stood there looking at it like Why isnt this working?

Ariel Simon, Facebook

4. I packed my hubbies lunch in the morning, then at lunchtime got a photo from him of his sandwich with nothing in it! Just two pieces of bread.

Alexis Morales, Facebook


5. I filled my car with gas and drove off. Moments later I was down the road when a police car pulled me over. I still had the cash in my hand. The officer was nice enough to take it back to the gas station for me.

Kari Davis Roberts, Facebook

6. I tried to unlock the front door of my apartment with my car keys unlock button. I also dialed a phone number into the microwave.

mustlovego


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7. I tried to text my cat and tell him I missed him. I started crying when Crookshanks wasnt in my contact list.

Lynsey Van Nevel, Facebook

8. I asked my sister how much a $50 gift card would cost to buy.

samimimarie

9. I never told anyone in my family I did it. I cut a piece of cheddar off a block, then put the cheese in the drawer Id gotten the knife from, the knife in the cheese drawer in the fridge, and my plate of cheese and crackers in the sink. I walked out of the kitchen and sat down on the couch, totally forgetting why Id even gotten up.

Erin Hicks, Facebook

10. I left the TV remote in the freezertwice. Lost it for days at each time.

screwingthemilkman

11. I was filling out pre-admittance forms for the hospital and completely forgot how old I was. I couldnt remember the year I was born or anything. Fortunately, my doctors office happened to call and I asked the nurse my age.

hintofsuspense

12. I went to the toilet, tried to flush it by flicking the light switch on and off, then complained when it wouldnt flush. I was there for a good five minutes.

eleanorpaigec

13. I completely forgot the word nose and proceeded to say (Continued)


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He has a spot on that thing between his eyes.

paigev4243cd8e7

14. I couldnt remember the word hand. Called it an arm foot for hours.

jessicac435211b61

15. I was trying to cook eggs in the pan but nothing was happening. I finally realized the stove wasnt on. Id been watching raw eggs for 10 minutes.

atello12

16. By the time I gave birth there were easily seven unopened jars of peanut butter in the pantry because I could never remember if we had any or not when I was grocery shopping. After the seventh jar I actually cried when I got home and found them all. I was convinced I was losing my mind.

emilyfarringtons

17. I used hand soap instead of dishwasher detergent in the dishwasher.

Sarahluiz619

18. I was attempting to take my prenatal vitamins, but instead of pouring out the vitamins, I poured my water bottle on my hand. Then I cried for 10 minutes.

Eva Dunlop, Facebook

19. I had a 9-month-old son the second time I was pregnant. One day, my friend came over and asked where my son was. Frantic, I searched all downstairs for him, threw cushions around, toys and everything else but (Continued)


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couldnt find him. I broke down crying at having lost my son until my friend went upstairs and found him asleep in the cot. Apparently Id put him down for a nap, but didnt remember.

Shama-Jade Balcarres, Facebook

20. I put my jeans on this morning and they just felt weird. They weren't covering my butt right or staying up. I couldn't figure out why. After about 45 minutes I looked down and realized I had been wearing my jeans backwards all morning.

librarylion

21. I don't think my husband really understood until last night just how scatterbrained it can make a woman. Exhibit A:

I was in the kitchen and meant to bring him a soda when I went back into the living room.

A few minutes later, he gets up to get a soda, so I remind him I just brought him one.

Turns out I actually brought him a pack of ramen noodle seasoning...

ohlovely

22. We were in England for a baby moon trip around thanksgiving and being from Florida we were quite bundled up for our journey. We had walked into a pub for some dinner and this place was PACKED! I had taken off my gloves, hat and scarf and had unzipped my jacket but was still wearing it since we didn't have a table yet. When we finally got to a table and I took my jacket off I didn't notice that my sweater and shirt had balled up to the top of my belly. I was now standing in the middle of a super crowded restaurant with my entire belly hanging out and only barely covered by the stretchy top of my maternity pants. I didn't realize until two women had given me a look of pity and I was so embarrassed. If I wasn't so hungry I probably would have made DH take me somewhere else to eat.

MISTRESSshake

23. I forgot my Uncle's name as well as my aunts and cousin. That whole off shoot, I just could not for the life of me remember any of their names. I mean, they had been a part of my family for my whole life, I was super embarrassed. This happened with my first pregnancy.

Gayatri-Mantra

24. I buttered a teabag. Yep.

Anonymous.

25. On several occasions I forgot to put my boob away after breastfeeding. One time was in church.

Anonymous.

26. Today I went to Wally World for a few baby related things I've been wanting for weeks (mostly craft related things, but other odds and ends too). When I got there I couldn't remember what I was there for! I waddled up and down nearly every aisle trying to remember, but I could not. I came home empty handed and remembered everything shortly after. I'm going to have to write a very detailed list before going again.

UncertainlyOrdinary

27. I poured Orange Juice into my cereal and poured milk into my cup.

I think the worst incident was arriving at the supermarket to buy a few things. After I got home, I realized that (Continued)


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I had forgotten what I'd gone there for and bought a whole bunch of things I hadn't intended to. So I had to go back.

littlespoonxx

28. I've burnt myself twice pulling stuff out of the oven. Just because you have and oven mitt on one hand doesn't mean the hand w/out the mitt is safe from burns. Hopefully I remember that next time.

unyieldingwish

29. I was looking for my phone in the dark, using the flashlight on my phone.

keekmcgeek

30. A week or two ago I was at working sipping on some raspberry leaf tea. I took a sip and immediately opened my mouth. While my tea was pouring out of my mouth all over my shirt all I could think was why?? Why did I just do that?

Dinosaurlover75

31. I was in a hurry one day, and weeks away from delivery I left the house to take my son to school and run a few errands. It wasnt until the cashier at the market said, did you know you have a towel on your head that I realized I hadnt done my hair after a shower. I had gone to 2 other places like that before someone said something! I got in the car and cried.

Anonymous

32. Walked out of the house with everything including baby and baby accessories everything except pants.

33. I went through a car wash but didn't realize until after that (Continued)


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didn't realize until after that I had about 200 dollars worth of groceries in the back of the truck.

Anonymous

34. I bawled like a baby BC I couldnt find matching socks. The sob fest lasted so long that I was late for work. My husband tried to let me wear his socks and then I cried even harder bc they werent MY socks. He reminds me of that every time I mention another baby.

Anonymous

35. Searched and searched for my glasses and was so upset because I just got them (I used to wear contacts all the time). Upset and crying, I called my husband. He comes home looks at me and says I see you found your glasses. I burst into tears crying because I hadnt found them; they were on my face all day.

Anonymous

36. I cried at Smiths when they didnt have any ripe avocados and actually told the produce worker I hope you are happy, you pathetic punk. I hate you. He then found me in the check out and handed me 2 ripe avocados and said my wife is pregnant too, its ok.

Anonymous

37. I tossed my dog a dryer sheet before walking out of the house instead of a dog biscuit. Fail.

Anonymous

38. Grocery shopping.got my daughter out of the cart and all buckled in the car and drove off with the groceries and my purse sitting in the cart. Had to drive back when I could not find my purse. Grocery store management was looking at video to see if I was kidnapped! Talk about embarrassed.

Anonymous

39. During a checkup, I couldnt keep my composure when my doctor, of Indian descent, told me to focus. His heavy accent made it sound like he was saying fers. He said it repeatedly, and more furiously, the more I giggled. The more he said it, the harder I laughed. We had to reschedule the appointment.

Anonymous

"It wasn't me!"

There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.

Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked:

Redditors who were once considered suspect of a crime they did not commit, what's it like being held under suspicion and how did it affect your life?

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