LGBTQ People Share Their Most Epic Responses To Ignorant Homophobes
The following LGBTQ+ people were caught situations where they've had to listen to a homophobe slander them, without that same homophobe knowing that they were, in fact, talking to someone who was a part of the LGBTQ+ community. To the surprise of the homophobe, these LGBTQ+ individuals twisted the tables once they revealed who they truly were.
Source list available at the end.
I'm a bisexual. I was talking to some colleagues after work and one guy, who I never liked because he was a pain to work with and wouldn't stop bragging, decided to bring up the fact that one of our managers was gay. Everyone just commented on how they already knew, or how nice that manager was and tried to move on to the next topic of conversation, but this guy wouldn't let it go. He kept on saying how he never thought that manager could be gay. He said, "Not that there's anything wrong with that" a few times, but it was clear nobody else in the group thought there was anything wrong with it, except for him. I just said, "Well, you probably wouldn't expect me to have a girlfriend either, but I do." Yes, that's how I came out at work.
A coworker of mine. He didn't know I was gay and kept on talking about how he hated "flamers" and couldn't understand why they couldn't just be "normal." I calmly explained that in movies and TV shows they often stereotyped gay people. Although they do exist like that, it's a minority of gay people who actually behave like that all of the time. He looked at me and asked, "What? You think there are guys who suck it and don't act like girls?" I smiled and said, "Yeah, you're talking to one."
He got SUPER embarrassed and tried to back peddle about what he had just said. He then started apologizing nonstop. I told him I wasn't upset with him, and I asked him not to be fooled by the stereotypes that were portrayed on the media alone. We're good friends now.
It was around the time NC passed their HB2 law. All of a sudden, everyone was an expert on Transgender issues.
I was at a bar with some friends, my (now ex) boyfriend's band had finished their set and another band was setting up. I was outside having a cigarette and talking to some people. My friend Julie was outside smoking. Julie was transgender, but pre-everything, no hormones, or surgeries. She still looked pretty passable. Most people were really cool with her, but this one guy I was talking to started ranting about how this was wrong.
Now, this guy was a regular at the bar. He wasn't here for the music. He liked "Classic Rock and Country, you know, real music" to use his exact words. I'm sitting there with my cigarette listening to him rant about HB2, how transgender people were all wrong, and none of them were pretty. They all looked like men in dresses.
I had this smirk on my face, "Not all of them look like men in dresses. Many are passable, and you'd never notice them."
"I'd notice them. You can't hide what God gave you. They don't look like you, or the other girls here."
Now, I had to struggle not to laugh as I, too, was transgender, but unlike my friend, I'd been on hormones for sometime at this point.
"Girls like me?" I said, curiously.
"Yeah, pretty ones."
I looked him dead in the eyes, "Thanks, but I'm sure your opinion of me would change if you saw the penis between my legs."
He sat stunned for a minute and asked if I was joking, but I was already walking away at this point. He shouted something like, "I knew the whole time." I stayed away from him for the rest of the night after that.
My dad. Well, I am bisexual but still. He makes nonstop comments. I came out to him last night because the person who raped me threatened to out me. Not on my watch, so I did it myself. He has only said, "Okay" and refused to talk to me.
Parents, family, random people at the checkout, and classmates at university. It happens all of the time. It's almost always politically charged with religious opinions, and/or "it's just gross" type of arguments.
If it's during a conversation directed at me, I crack a few gay jokes and find a way to work my boyfriend or bisexuality into the conversation just to see them squirm, while never making a reference to any of the stupid stuff they've just said.
Basically, it's constant. I'm a trans man, but I'm not out to my family yet. So, I get to enjoy a lot of transphobic comments. My favorite was when a distant cousin came out as trans and his family sent out these really cute little postcards about it, and my grandma was telling us about it and prefaced it with, "I don't know whether I'm supposed to call her a man, a lesbian, or a what." I also get to enjoy a lot of homophobic comments as well.
"I don't hate gays, but I think they shouldn't be allowed to get married."
"I'm okay with gays, but I don't think they should be able to have parades."
Blah blah blah. This is, in spite of the fact, that for some reason people think I'm a lesbian.
I live in the armpit of the South. So, it happens here all the time. It's most memorable when it's your family, though. All three of my brothers have said at least once that they hate/can't stand gay people. My oldest brother actually told me once that he'd like to shoot up a Pride Parade. Safe to say, I've gotten pretty good at keeping my mouth shut. Bible Belt, am I right?
Me: How can a man not like a big wet fanny in his face?
Gay friend (Just to clarify, I didn't know he was gay at this stage because we weren't good friends yet): How can you not like a big penis all over your face?
Me (After a few seconds of pondering): Hmm, good point.
I wasn't really homophobic. I just didn't like the way really, really camp and flamboyant men (like the typical gay guys you saw on TV) acted.
I'm bisexual. Catholic middle school and public high school in tiny towns out in the middle of nowhere. In a lot of cases, I would just keep my mouth shut, or pulled the "as a lesbian supporter" defence. I find coming out to people in anger is a bad idea. I have to be in a particularly nice and educational mood to be willing to go through the process of explaining how bisexuality works to people, and being angry doesn't put me in that mood.
My father is homophobic and has no idea that I'm bisexual. He is one of those guys who believes that being a person from the LGBTQ+ community means that you have psychological issues and that is how you should be treated. I tried to explain to him that it is not a sickness and that it is normal, but he wants the scientific truth. I can't give him that because love is not science, and he does not get that somehow.
A friend of mine was talking about how trans people shouldn't exist and that there are only two genders. I had already come out to him, but he probably forgot. So, I had to remind him. He dismissed me and said that I didn't count because I was a "cool" trans person. I just laughed a little, and let him finish his rant.
Working in video games, there are a lot of opinions on censorship and a game's ability to influence the actions of the people who play it.
I was speaking with a friend at the office one day. He was generally a level-headed cat, but he had just proposed to his fiancee and was talking about potentially raising kids. He said that MTV needed to stop glorifying "that flaming stuff" and not show gay couples/weddings on TV because it sent the "wrong" message to kids.
I told him that saying something like, "Gay people on TV make your kid gay" was the same as saying, "Violence in video games make your kid violent." He stopped and smiled, and we remained close friends until we both moved on from that job. Although, I never told him (or anyone there) that I was gay.
A former coworker of mine. He always spoke ill of our other coworkers saying stuff like: they were not the brightest, they looked at porn at work, slept on the job, etc. He said he knew this nice transgendered girl and could set me up with her. Long story short, he was removed from the site I worked at for a lot of reasons including the deal he gave me over being gay.
Yes, my parents. They are conservative Mormons. I remember the day gay marriage was legalized. We were at my eldest sisters house, and I heard them say, "They shouldn't be pushing this lifestyle on us. It's just not right". I was kind of bothered by that, but I let it slide because I was busy doing something and didn't want to interfere with something that could out me if I didn't learn to shut my mouth.
Then, later I heard, "It's just disgusting. I mean they can do what they want, but don't make us accept it. I will never ever condone that lifestyle."
I guess that just set me off. I got up from my seat. My parents, sister, and my brother, who was sitting quietly across from me, all looked up at me. I looked at my parents and straight up (no pun intended) said to them, "Well, maybe you don't like it, or you don't agree with it, but it's their life so stop being hypocrites. You forced me to go to church for 13 years, and I had no say in it. You shoved it down my throat. They want their equal rights, and you people need to stop denying it from them. It's horrible to tell others that who they love is invalid, and it's even more horrible to deny them the right to consecrate that love."
I grabbed my backpack and headed to the front door, until I stopped and yelled to them, "You guys are just sad people to even have the audacity to call someone else's love disgusting. It's just horrible, and I hope you guys realize how much harm words can cause." Then I left. It was the best moment of my life.
Sitting in the smoking area of my workplace yesterday with a few others. A girl said she had high blood pressure due to stress. Another lady we work with chimes in,"You're not pregnant are you? I had that too when I was pregnant!''
It was quite funny because everyone else in the smoking area knew this girl with the high blood pressure was gay, apart from the lady who asked her if was she pregnant.
I'm a pansexual female here. One of my acquaintances from high school was making jokes about gay people at a party and thinking he was a laugh riot. One of his buddies was giggling and hyping him up, but all of the other people in the crowd were just as uncomfortable as I was.
Coincidentally, I invited my girlfriend (at the time) along, who was incredibly uncomfortable with these jokes. After his long tirade, I formally introduced them, then turned to my girlfriend and said, "See doll, I told you there would be some ignorant people here."
Never seen anyone so embarrassed (in front of at least 10 people) in my life, and my girlfriend thought I was pretty hot stuff after that.
When my son was born, my mother-in-law gifted us a book called "Bringing Up Boys" by James Dobson. It included a few chapters on identifying and preventing "pre-homosexual behaviours" and making sure your son understood the expectations of his gender role.
All of my husband's older relatives are that way (and aggressively so). His parents sort of treat us as the nice heterosexual success story. I'm bisexual, and we are both involved in kink. Every bone in my body wants to casually drop it into one of our conversations. Especially now that her two daughters are lesbian and gender-fluid respectively. Surprise, lady, everyone is gay!
We've been keeping our distance lately, and it's mostly because my son. As he's reached his toddler years, he has taken an interest in barbies, barrettes, and nail polish.I just don't want to hear whatever my mother-in-law has to say about it.
I feel like everyone has. Most recently, it was a group of girls in a bathroom basically saying how lesbians were creepy and that they were only going to hit on you. However, I wasn't going to confront 5 people about it. I'm not that brave.
There was a blind synth player in my high school marching band, incredible musician and singer but also super homophobic. One day, while we were taking a break to eat lunch, my then-boyfriend sat down in my lab and snuggled up to me. Anyway, we were about three feet away from her and being super adorable- when she says, out of the blue, "Ugh! I hate gay people and their gay agenda!" At first, I chuckle. Then, I realized she was not joking. Anyway, she clearly had no idea she was sitting right next to some very snuggly gays. So, this girl continued to obliviously chatter on, and everyone just silently agreed never to tell her anything. After the initial awkwardness wore off, it struck me that the whole thing was pretty hilarious.
My manager, who I speak with often, makes condescending/"funny" remarks about gays/lesbians. I usually dismiss his attitude as stupid, but when it comes to subjects that affect legislation or treatment of others, I make sure to correct him and provide a counter argument to everything he comes up with. He doesn't know I'm bisexual and have been in relationships with men before.
It was back when I was a receptionist at a college. One of the security guards, who I was friendly with, started talking about a show she saw with gay people in it and how disgusted she was with them (not knowing that I'm also gay). I kept my mouth shut, got promoted, and moved on. But my partner, who took my old job and was much more outspoken than I was, had no issue explaining that he was my partner. I only wish I could seen the look on her face.
We, eventually, saw her at the office Christmas party and were cordial. I'm a softie. I knew she had a kid to support and would have probably lost her job if I had reported her. I figured her views were based on where she grew up, so there was no point in trying to change someone's mind when it was so ingrained in her head that gays were bad.
I had a best friend that I, up until this point, never discussed anything that had to do with LGBT, and I guess she just assumed I was straight because, up until then, I had only dated guys openly. At some point bisexuality came up, and they went OFF about how stupid, embarrassing, and outright wrong it was to be bisexual. They said that being straight and gay made sense, but bisexuals were whoring themselves out, were probably the reason STDS got around so easily, are a disgrace, and if they ever met a bisexual person, they would strangle them for sullying the LGBT community. Guess who she said this in front of.
Hi, it's me. The bisexual (now-pansexual).
It was shocking. I was appalled and just cut her out of my life. I didn't feel comfortable coming out to her after the comment about assaulting someone for being bisexual, and I just ran away from the friendship. I never saw or talked to her again. I was around 16 at the time and just didn't want to deal with it.
Posts are edited for clarity.
"It wasn't me!"
There's not much you can do when the righteous fist of the law comes down on you. Call it a mix-up, or call it a mistake, if someone's pegged you at the scene of a crime there's not much you can do but trust the justice system to prove you innocent. However, that's a gamble, and just because you've been given a "not guilty" doesn't mean the effects won't follow you for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/danbrownskin, wanted to hear about the times when it wasn't you, seriously, it was someone else, when they asked: