One Middle School Teacher Shares The Ridiculous Things They Actually Had To Say To Their Students.

Middle school teachers are the real heroes out there.

Here, one middle school teacher shares the weirdest things they've actually had to say to their students.



"Please refrain from licking the window. I don't care how much jello is on it."


"Stop touching my Shakespeare figurine inappropriately."


"I know the rules say that food and drink is allowed, but don't you think 10 juice boxes is a little much?"


"Having ADHD is not an excuse to hump the desk."


"I'm bringing a snack for our movie on Friday. What allergies do we all have? Nuts, shellfish, artificial colors, bananas, coconut, gluten-what? No. I'm not buying KFC for 164 teenagers."


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"No, we cannot walk to the coffee shop. Your teachers next period will have to scrape you off the ceiling."


"If you must tap your pencils, at least make a sick beat with them."


"No, you are not a seahorse. Get off the floor."


"Why did you just scribble that out? You're using a PENCIL. It has an ERASER. ERASE!!!"


"Quit back-handing each other with lotion."


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"Did you just touch her eye?! Ew, no! Germs!"


"Please call me "Miss B", not 'B-SwizzlefoShizzle'. Let's keep it professional."


"Yes, I am nicer after I had coffee. Most adults are."


"Yes, the principal does like his job. Probably."

"If you explosively fart in front of the superintendent again, you and I are going to have words."


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"I do love your project, very creative... but did it have to be made of matches? Let's keep a water bottle next to it, just in case..."


"Please don't use my wooden B passes as a set of 'brass knuckles'."


"I don't need any kids. I already have kids. I have 164 of you."


"What on earth keeps moving in your pock-IS THAT A BABY BUNNY?!?!" (It was.)


"Why is there glitter in the lizard tank? He doesn't eat glitter."

"No, it won't make him crap sparkles."


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"You can't do your book project on 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' even if it speaks to you on a spiritual level."


"Get your toes behind that door frame or so help you I'll chop them off and put them in a soup."


"I know half of you don't give a flying fart about conjunctive adverbs; however, they are vital to your education. And I just used one. You're welcome for the example."


"Yes, I'm thrilled you loved the poem, but we are not running through the halls screaming 'The red coats are coming!'"


"Why did you come back from your locker with cake!?"


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"Yes, technically a demigod who farts really hard to create the wind counts as a myth. Just...don't illustrate it."


"That's a thesaurus. Definitions are in the dictionary- the paper Google book."


"You know the phone rules. Not only will I take it, but I will dance to your ringtone. You've been warned."


Last, but not least...

"Ugh, fine, but I never saw that."


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