Mortified People Share Romantic Gestures That Turned Into Complete Fails.

Uhhh... I'm just gonna show myself out.


1. Once, many years ago, I drove to my boyfriends house wearing lingerie and heels under a trench coat (like you see in movies from time to time). I had my portable CD player ready to go with some romantic music for when he opened the door. Well, he opened the door and I pushed play and opened my coat to reveal the lingerie. We just stood there awkwardly so I stopped the music. He invited me in and we sat on the bedthats it. Just sat. After a few minutes of small talk he said this probably isnt turning out how you planned. Nope.


2. I bought my girlfriend a bunch of her favorite candies for Valentines Day. She broke up with me and now Im left with a broken heart and a bag of crappy candy.


3. I was making out with my then boyfriend and I told him I was going to give him a hickey but I realized I didnt know how to give someone a hickey so I bit him on the neck really hard, like broke the skin hard, panicked, and immediately drove him home. My friends will never let me live it down and a favorite comeback of theirs is oh what are you going to do, bite me??


4.I had a crush on this guy who recently broke up with his girlfriend, so I decided to stop by his store and give him flowers to cheer him up. He gave me a big smile and I assumed he appreciated the gesture. The next day, he told me to never stop by his store again :(


5. I was dating this guy a few years ago and we had been together for maybe three or four months. He lived two hours away, so I thought (while he was visiting) that it would be nice to give him something sweet before he went back home. I made a small box out of paper and put little notes inside. I wrote cute song lyrics and lovey stuff like Ill be with you through anything and things similar to that. When he opened the box and read the notes (after he got back home), he wasnt very enthused. It was a ding in our relationship and in my self confidence when he basically said he didnt really like the notes. We broke up a few months after that.


6. After the prom I played truth or dare with my bfs friends. They told me to bite his nose, still a weird dare but obviously I was supposed to nibble seductively. Instead I actually (Continued)

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Instead I actually bit semi hard and actually Im cringing to remember that right now!


7. I always dreamed of a romantic first kiss. When I was 15, me and my friend were hanging out at a park late at night. When a group of teenage boys walked by. We, being mature 15 year olds, cat called them. I jokingly asked for a kiss goodnight (even though Id never saw them before) a guy stepped forward and next thing I know, Im kissing a stranger. It was really slobbery and he missed my lips, he was making out with my upper lip, didnt even touch my bottom lip.

The worst part is it was my first kid and I never learned the kids name and it was dark and I was so freaked out about getting kissed I dont even know what he looked like. Definitely not the romantic comedy first kiss in the rain moment i was looking for.


8. Not to me but to my parents. My dad and Mom were just friends in college and my dad started to like my mom. One day while they were studying my dad decided to make a move. My dad kissed my mom and my mom responded with, damn it! I just wanted to be friends!

Fast forward a few months and theyre engaged. My dad proposed to at a beautiful poorly named valley, Dead Horse Valley, really captures the essence of their relationship.


9. One time my then boyfriend (and now husband) and I had snuck off on campus to stargaze because our university was strict about no coed dorms, even for visiting. After a lot of stargazing we ended up in a position that looked like this: me laying on my stomach, and him sitting on my legs whilst he admired my butt. Only, I didnt realize how close his face was too my read end, and I had some major gas I was holding in. Next thing I know, he spread my cheeks and I ripped is HARD directly into his face that was within two inches of my booty. Incredibly, we made it through that, and we still laugh about it even three years later


10. Our first Christmas together, I bought lingerie and one of those huge 5 ft stockings that I could fit in and be waiting on him when he got home. Well instead I met him at a bar after work and took so many shots of tequila that when we finally did get home I told him to wait a minute that I had a surprise and I went in the bedroom to try and do what I had planned. I was too drunk to even try to get into the lingerie and as I was trying to get into the stocking I fell off the bed and (Continued)

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I was trying to get into the stocking I fell off the bed and hit my face on the corner of the nightstand giving myself a black eye and busting my lip open. Instead of the sexy night I had planned my boyfriend ended up holding frozen veggies on my face while I vomited up the 11 shots of Patron. But 8 years later weve been married for 5 years and have 2 amazing kids.


12. The first time my boyfriend went down on me, he came up with a face full of blood so I start freaking out and then he looks in the mirror and starts freaking out and it was the most embarrassing moment of my life until he remembers he had a nose bleed that morning.

Becca Rhea

13. My girlfriend and I had our first kiss on a rollercoaster, at age 14. On a school field trip. Neither of us knew what we were doing. It went about as well as you can imagine.


14. Made a romantic dinner of roast chicken for my (now ex) boyfriend. I ended up giving us both food poisoning, and he ended up crapping his pants. He asked me to rinse out his underwear while he was in the shower. Uhno.


15. I have been journaling everyday for the past few years. For me and my boyfriends one year anniversary, I made a journal filled with all of the entries written about him/us (some of which about our sex life). When I gave it to him, he (Continued)

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When I gave it to him, he loved it and kept it in his room. His mom snooped while he was away, and read ALL about our relationship in full detail in a convenient little book I wrote. Ive never been so embarrassed in my life.


16. He put a rose on my car and my 2 separate jobs (in different towns). I thought I had a stalker and my boss almost called the police.


17. My first kiss ever went horribly. I had googled advice on how to do it, and one thing they all had in common was to closing your eyes. So at the end of one of the best dates Ive ever my heart is pounding because I really want to end it on a good note so I closed my eyes and lean inand practically sucked her nose. 4 years later its the funniest thing to both us, guess she figured I had no place to go but up.


18. About a month into dating my current boyfriend (who I have been dating for three years), I went over to his house and we decided to watch a movie. Before the movie, he offered me a piece of gum and I said yes. Well during the movie we started making out and all of a sudden I just froze. The gum, which was still in my mouth had traveled into his and I had no idea what to do, so I just kept kissing him but he knew something was wrong. So he pulled away and I started nervously laughing, and he asked what was so funny. I told him that my gum went into his mouth and I was super embarrassed, no clue what to do. He was like I wondered why my gum suddenly got so much bigger. Probably the most embarrassing moment of my life, that he still brings up to this day


19. When I was 14 and stupid thirsty, I painted my crushes face for our schools Halloween haunted house and then asked him about it a few days later online. He said something really normal and something along the lines of Its awesome. My overactive brain then processed this simple response to a whole new level and I ended up (Continued)

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My overactive brain then processed this simple response to a whole new level and I ended uptelling him that he deserved a cookie (ya know the meme) and wanted to give him a cookie. I then got a cookie, drew the meme out on a little piece of paper and gave it to him a few days later. He rejected the cookie and said he didn't eat cookies, I called him evil, and I avoided him most of the time till he graduated.


20. My husband has a lot of memory loss from being blown up when in the Army. I asked his friends to send me stories and photos if they had any so I could put together a book for his 30th birthday. I gave myself a year to do it. Ended up with 1 story and 2 photos. None of my plans to do nice things ever end up working.


21. I dated a guy for three months and on New Years Eve he stopped responding to my texts. I thought this guy was going to be it; he was everything I wanted in a person and we worked well together. So, I put on a cute outfit and good underwear and at 11:30pm I drove to his house in a grand romantic gesture to talk and fight for our relationship. No one let me in. I sat outside on his porch in the cold for 45 minutes listening to whoever was inside loudly watch 30 Rock. I broke up with him through a text the next day because he still wouldnt acknowledge my messages or calls and kept liking memes on Facebook about being single. So much for that.


22. My boyfriend and I had been together for almost 9 months, and I still had no possible idea of what he would want for Christmas. We live in a pretty small area, and so I decided to take him about an hour away to the nearest Krispy Kreme store, and I wanted to do something romantic and take him ice skating because hed never been before. Well he wasnt too good at it and we just ended up going back home after about 15 minutes.


23. My husband is on a really trying job at the moment and sometimes he has to work weekends. One Saturday he went to work I decided to (Continued)

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clean the entire apartment top to bottom, did all the laundry, ironed, made him breakfast muffins for the week and was making creamed spinach, scalloped potatoes and steak for dinner. I got everything measured ahead of time for the recipes I was making. I started slicing the potatoes on the mandolin being very careful because I know how sharp they can bemy finger slipped on one of the potatoes and I sliced my thumb to the bonemy sister in law had to come over to help stop the bleeding and bandage me up. My husband had to finish the cooking. Not the relaxing evening I had planned for him.


24. I tried to carry her to the bedroom, tripped over a cord and fell on top of her. She ended up spraining her arm. So much for that!

- Anonymous

25. I wanted to set up our apartment for a romantic evening one cold winter night. I lit a few dozen candles and spread them around the room. Unbeknownst to me, my boyfriend (now husband) was at the doctor being diagnosed with pneumonia. When he arrived at our building, the elevator was broken and he had to walk up 7 flights. He was wheezing and coughing due to the illness and the stairs. When he walked in to the candle filled living room, he nearly passed out from the smoke! Needless to say, it was not the evening I had planned!


26. Before my husband and I were a couple, he thought it was be romantic to surprise kiss me. He whipped me around and started making out with me. I had no clue what was going on, not only was it my first kiss, it was my first make out session too. The kiss was sooo bad, I started licking his face because I didnt now what to do with my tongue. The entire thing was super awkward, I avoided him for the rest of the night. Later that night he messaged me on MySpace and asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. 8 years and two kids later, Im a way better kisser.


27. I had just started dating my current boyfriend, and his 20th birthday was literally 5 days from when we started dating. I turned up to his apartment to surprise him with a bunch of presents and cake but he had gone out with his family so I waited on his couch for 6 hours, creeping the hell out of his roommate (who didnt know I existed). He finally came home late at night (because the family dinner had turned into an argument), saw me, shut the cake in the fridge then went to bed. I thought he was an asshole for months before we cleared up this misunderstanding, but I still think it was rude to not at least say thank you to someone who bought you presents AND cake.


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.