Muslims Share Common Misconceptions About What It Means To Be Islamic.

It seems like, these days, you hear way more about Muslim people and ideals from non-Muslim sources, and that has created a lot of cloudy misconceptions about Islam and Muslim people, which, as you probably noticed, has stirred up a whole lot of Islamophobia lately. Here, we hear some of the greatest misconceptions about Islam, from Muslims.


1. Muslims are more than just their religion

I am may be a Muslim but that's not my identity. I am a Pakistani, I like reading, I like movies, I am very introverted, I have depression and anxiety, I struggle with words while speaking, I am a cat owner...just kidding they own me, I am a business student, I can't cook to save my life, I am a procrastinator, and I also happen to be a Muslim.

When people are criticizing Muslims, I just want them to know that a Muslim is not all I am. I live my life just like you do, we have the same worries, same likes and dislikes. I have a family just like you do. I worry about what will happen once I graduate university, I worry about my cat with chronic constipation, I worry about my mom and her frail health, I too have daddy issues like some of you. I am not so different from most of you. So when people think of me as some great threat, I wonder why can't they see me not just as a Muslim but as a person in my own right, with everything that makes me who I am.

Islam is a small part of my life. I pray occasionally, I fast in the month of Ramadan and yes, while my religion contributes to some part of me, it is not everything about me.

2. Muslim people are the biggest victims of extremist terrorism.

If you look at the countries that have the most terrorist attacks, they are all countries that the West has been heavily involved in. Libya, Iraq, Syria, and Yemen have all had extensive foreign involvement and in the case of the former three, have been absolutely torn apart through direct Western actions (for Syria it is mostly escalating the situation). The same happened in Afghanistan. What do you expect would happen when you leave a country without a capable government AND arm groups there? Don't tell me they fear extremist Muslims more. They wouldn't be there at all had it not been for Western meddling. The same people who fear for their lives today might have lived out a completely normal life had it not been for the West.

enegmatik & Kemo3393

3. That there isn't this one single community called "Muslims"

...and there is so much diversity within communities that consider themselves Muslim.

There are gay Muslims, Muslims who are gay but find it difficult to handle, Muslims who know nothing about their faith, Muslims who don't care about their faith much, Pakistanis who were born into a faith but they don't really care about it, people who converted to Islam and became quite conservative then slowly became more relaxed over time, Muslims who are extremely committed to the faith in a peaceful way, Muslims who are extremely committed to the faith in a dodgy way, etcetera.

If I walk down the street in the UK people may think I'm Muslim as I'm brown and can look Muslim-ish, but I'm an Ex Muslim atheist. But that doesn't mean I've disowned my background or family, it just means I have to deal with both the discrimination faced by Muslim and the discrimination you face leaving religion (which affects people from lots of faith backgrounds), it's a "double-bind".


4. Islam means submission, but it's not what you think...

Islam means Submission. However, many people connote "submission" to this idea of strict and unquestionable obedience. The submission in Islam is not an illogical and irrational meekness, on the contrary, it is to (Continued)

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submit to the events of your life and the world through deep mental (rational and logical), spiritual, and emotional comprehension, WHILE moving forward. In the prophetic tradition (Hadith), it is said, "Strap your camel, AND put faith in God;" which means, you must submit your faith in God WHILE taking natural occurring reasons into account. You do not park your car with the door open and say that God will protect it - that's illogical.


5. Forcing a woman to wear a Hijab is a family practice, not a religious one

Are there women who are forced to wear the scarf? Yes. But that is not the correct practice. In Islam, the deciding factor is Intention. There are many women who wear the Hijab but their mothers, sisters, or daughters do not. It's a choice, like everything else in life.

The issue is that some choices are either forced or limited. In the same way that some Christian women are forced to cover their bodies or wear hats in church, and some Jewish women have to cover their heads at all time with hats or wigs, forcing members of your family to do something is based more on familial practice than a religious one.


6. Islam is a religion of diversity

There many more things I would like to talk about but the last item that I would like to share is on DIVERSITY. From the very beginning, Islam was a religion of Diversity and still is to this day. Walk into any mosque in America, and you will see rich, poor, black, white, brown, Asian, European, African, and Americans humbly sitting side by side -ironically, this cohesion work best in the USA, and it really frames the beauty of the Religion due to the cultural context of America.

Are there extremists? Yes. Are there literalists? Yes. Are there people who want to incite violence? Yes. Is there intolerance? Yes. Is there oppression of Women? Yes. Are there people who do not know how to mediate their identity? Yes. All religions (not just Islam) has been used as an excuse for violence for thousands of years. It does not mean that religion is inherently dangerous, it is the scapegoat.


7. People don't understand our standing on multiple wives

Many people criticize the Prophet's social standards of multiple wives or harsh rulings; yet many people do not take historical and social context into account. Many people do not realize that (Continued)

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his first Wife, Khadija, was older than him by 20+ years, she was a professional independent woman, and SHE proposed to him. She not only supported him emotionally, but also financially and was the bread winner in the family. When she passed away, he was not intending to marry again, but married because of revelation or due to political alliances. One of his wives was Jewish (Saffiyah) and she spent time with her family on Saturdays to support them in the sabbath.


8. Let's tackle the elephant in the room: ISIS

Imagine that you see on TV thousands of your people killed by foreigners. Innocent people just going about their lives, killed. This makes you angry. You join a group that promised you revenge. You travel to the country of the people that attacked you and take violence to their door in retaliation.

Does that seem plausible? Does that seem like something unique to any one culture or group? I wasn't writing that while thinking about a Muslim joining a radical group in retaliation to prejudice. I was writing that from the perspective of an American that participated in the invasion of Afghanistan. We aren't so different, you and I and everyone else.

I want to say, that in my experience, it is actually all the Islam hating that is causing more and more muslims to go to ISIS.

Many of these people are in a weak state after the US invasions, seeing the hate towards muslims just makes them give up on trying to argue and head to ISIS. Being bombed day in day out isn't healthy for anyone.

That being said, the vast majority of Muslims do not agree with extremist actions. Saying that all Muslims agree with ISIS is like saying all Christians agree with Westboro Baptist Church.

uaexemarat & Reddit_beard

9. We believe in Jesus and the virgin Mary

I'm surprised now one said this yet. We believe in Jesus and virgin Mary. We believe in prophets Noah, Adam, Abraham, Moses, Joshua ...etcetera. We believe in ALL of them. I'm always surprised by Christians who think we don't believe in Jesus or that he will return at the end of times. Though, similarly to the Jewish faith, we do not believe that Jesus was the son of God. However, unlike the Jewish faith we do believe he was a prophet.

It's all in the Quran, plain and simple.


10. In fact, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are sister religions

Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are what are known as Abrahamic religions which means that there is a lot of overlap between our religions. We all believe that the Hebrew patriarch, Abraham and his descendants, hold an important role in human spiritual development. All religions recognize Abraham as the first prophet. In many ways, our religions are all more similar than they are different. You can have good Christians and bad ones, you can have good Jews and bad ones, you can have good Muslims and bad ones. You see all the time that there are (Continued)

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that there are controversial passages from the Quran, the Torah, and the bible passages that are often taken out of context to justify hateful actions. The list goes on! I have made efforts to study all religious texts, so that I don't make assumptions about other religions based on biased media portrayals or "hear say". It's important to me to learn about everyone's perspective, because at the end of the day we're all just trying to live our lives according to what we think is best.


11. Just because a Muslim does something...

Just because a Muslim does something, does not mean the action is Islamic.


12. Iran is actually pretty non-religious

At least in Iran, everyone is forced to appear Muslim in public, but most people are atheist or at most spiritual. We are victims of an oppressive regime. Just because the women wear headscarves, doesn't mean they are at all religious or in any way support the regime. Many don't.

Funny story, during Ramadan, all stores are supposed to be closed, and everyone is supposed to fast from sunrise to sunset. Many restaurants will stay open, but just put a curtain up over the entrance, so people can duck behind the curtain, eat a kabob sandwich, and be on their way.


13. Not every Matthew, Mark, Luke and John you meet is Christian...

In the same way, just because someone's name is Mohammed or Ahmed doesn't mean that they are Muslim. Parents pick names, but people are free to believe what they want.


14. Allah is not some special God only worshiped by Muslims

"Allah" is the translation of "God" in Arabic just like "Dieu" is the word for it in French. Seems like a lot of people say stupid stuff like "Those Allah worshiping Muslims..." Not realizing that (Continued)

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Christians in Arabic speaking countries say "Allah" too during worship. You don't expect the French to say "Oh mon God..." It's usually "Oh mon Dieu..."


15. There is no Islamic culture

We're extremely diverse. Even the Arab speaking ones. Just like there is a difference between northern Spain and souther Spain, or urban and rural France. There is a broad amount of interpretation and religious tradition from region to region. We're not homogenous and there is no Islamic culture.


16. The oppression of women is cultural, not religious

Oppression of women. Most of the oppression of women by Islam and Muslims that is highly publicized is usually due to local customs and traditions. Muslim women have been presidents and prime ministers, and the vast majority are not slaves to their husbands. Violence towards women and forcing them against their will is not permitted by Islam. Care for widows, orphans, and the poor is one of Islams strongest teachings. Unfortunately, many women are oppressed, however, this is a global issue and not just Islamic oppression.


17. As a man who grew up Catholic, Muslim people restored my faith in humanity.

I have a Muslim story.

We were getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan and we were doing a lot of "cultural awareness" training - learning about Islam, learning to speak a little Pashto, and so on.

I got tasked to arrange a visit to a local mosque. No contact had been made with them before; I wound up cold-calling them. "Hi, I'm in charge of a bunch of soldiers and we'd like to visit your mosque during a service". One of many things in my career I thought I'd never say.

They were absolutely welcoming and very eager to have us visit. We were, after all, their neighbors, and they were very keen to get to know us.

So we hung out at the back of a service, and then met with the Imam for a Q&A session afterwards.

Now I'm a little ashamed to say that a couple of my guys were spoiling for a fight (very rude to do that; we're guests here guys!) They started asking very pointed questions about Islam and its relation to the Taliban, to international terrorism, and so forth.

The Imam though, he was a crafty old soul (and I say that with nothing but love and respect). Each time he got hit with a question like that, he would (Continued)

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Each time he got hit with a question like that, he would pull out his English translation of the Quaran, flip to the appropriate passage, and then hand it to the questioner for him to read aloud - thus having the questioner answer his own question via a quote from the Quaran. An absolutely brilliant debating judo technique. Defused every fight before it could get started. Tied my guys in knots.

By the end of the session, I wanted to high-five the man.

I also have to say this - I'm an Atheist, but I was raised Catholic. I'm used to Catholic services where the church quietly fills up from the back, everybody looking like they'd rather be anywhere else but here, nobody making eye contact... to see the undeniable joy that the congregation in that mosque had in seeing each other, and to see the struggle to get into the front row (with guys pressed up against the wall on both flanks) was really a very alien experience.

Overall, that whole congregation just impressed the hell out of me and I left with a certain amount of faith in humanity restored.

Incidentally, standing in the middle of Kandahar City as the sun starts to pinken the horizon and hearing the "pop" of amplifiers being turned on and the "thump thump" of mikes being tested as dozens of mizzeins got ready for the morning call to prayer... followed by that call to prayer... that's an experience that will be with me for life.


18. Islam is actually very sex positive

Here's an interesting one that I learned recently from reading a few articles about sex and homosexuality in Islam: for the time in which it began, Islam was a very sex positive religion. Though the culture of many Muslim societies has shifted away from that, religious doctrine itself still has lots of sex-positive messages. Abortion is allowed, contraceptives are allowed, legally married couples should have sex not just to procreate, but also to develop a stronger emotional bond. A woman's pleasure matters and husbands should take care to pleasure their wives. Celibacy is not a virtue in Islam the way it is in Christianity; we don't have monks or nuns, who do not have earthly pleasure; Muslims are in fact encouraged to some degree by our religious texts to have sex. Also, people should not feel guilty about their lust because lust is instilled in them by God (though they should exercise self control and not ogle women, because women are to be respected).

Growing up in a Muslim home as the daughter of immigrants from Egypt, I never heard any of this, because of CULTURAL taboos against sex. But within the context of religious doctrine, sex is nothing to be ashamed about having or wanting (within established relationships; some VERY edgy contemporary scholars might even say that green lights sex whilst dating... which might be why Arab culture bans dating...)



Thanks for reading and don't forget to share :)

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.