Night Shift Employees Share The Most Memorable Thing They've Experienced On The Job

Unusual things tend to happen when the sun goes down or the lights are off. But one thing's for sure, "everything that happens in the dark will definitely come to light" or be revealed on surveillance cameras.

The following Ask Redditors who work the grave shift share the odd, creepy, unbelievable things they've seen while on the job.

Find the original threads at the end of the article.

I answer phones for an answering service.

One night I took a call from some account we barely take calls for. It was dead air for a moment and suddenly this guy starts singing 'Hey there little Red Riding Hood, you sure are looking good. You're everything a big bad wolf could want' and then went quiet. Despite me trying to get a response, he just kept breathing. Eventually I hung up on him.

The next call is disturbing in a different way. Another night a year or so ago, I took a call for a veterinary office from a woman that was in a panic because her cat was sick. She wasn't sure what was wrong, but I could hear the poor thing gargling as it meowed like it had blood in it's lungs. The woman said the cat was all she had left, so I tried my best to get all her information down so I could get the veterinary as soon as possible. But the cat died before I could. The only reason I even knew that was because I heard it stop making noise.

The poor woman lost it. She began bawling hysterically, screaming and begging the cat to get up, and then begged God not to take the cat because she'd have nobody left.

After I realized there was nothing I could do or say because she walked away from the phone, I quietly hung up and just kind of sat there for a minute. That call has stuck with me for a while.


I work at this crappy local fast food joint which I won't name. Anyway one night, me and ONE other guy had to run the whole damn place because the manager couldn't be bothered to do his job.

I don't get scared easily but it gets spooky at work when it gets late because I've got to run to the dumpster and back. Then this jerk that I work with starts making up some story about some serial killer, which ordinarily wouldn't bother me but it was late. Then it goes from bad to worse. 

The lights on the inside reflecting off the glass wouldn't let us see out very far but we can hear a guy scraping at the door. I turn and make eye contact and his eyes look like dinner plates. He kinda squeaks out a sentence. All I could make out sounded something like "The Hash Slinging Slasher".


My brother and I were driving through Montana in the middle of the night and got held up near Bozeman because a semi-truck had taken out a passenger van with 6 or 7 people in it.

We only have that estimation because we both sat mute while we watched... parts being taken out of the van. It just so happened the accident was SECONDS old when we got to it. A truck driving the opposite direction flashed us with alarming "SLOW DOWN NOW" frequency and we did. The driver of the semi was physically fine but the police were interviewing him parked on the shoulder next to us and we could hear him as he wailed, sobbed and apologized. We were watching the emergency medical technician crew pull a head attached to a neck and part of an arm while the driver started begging the police for forgiveness.

We sat there for five hours.

The police explained to us (being close up and getting out to smoke after awhile) that it was in no way the semi driver's fault.

It's on my top 5 things I would like to un-remember. Arms and legs all over the place.


I was working in a liquor store at 2 am and some guys walk into the store. He heads to the back to grab a 12 case of beer from the cooler and ten seconds later his car comes barreling through the front door still on and everything.

That jerk left his car in drive and the sloped parking lot let it pick up speed and barrel through the front door.

Best part when he walked out of the cooler.

"Ahh crap, that's my car."

Well no crap sherlock... you were the only person in the parking lot.


I used to work in a hospital (in the Information Technology department) and we did a number of overnight rollouts, as well as on call work and responses  when issues occurred overnight. Many weird things happened or appeared to happen.

The thing that struck me as oddest, was when I saw the coroner running at full speed down the corridor, in the opposite direction, towards the morgue. This guy, an older guy in his 50s or so was running at full speed! I had never seen him move above an amble before, but this time he was really going for it. As he got close to me he yelled "Out of the way - I got another live one!"

I am not sure what was more disturbing, the fact that he was dealing with what I could only assume was a dead body that now appeared to be alive, or the fact he said "another." 


Around 12 years ago I was working security at a small company's headquarters in New York City. My partner for the night had called in sick, so I had to work from 12 am to 6am all by my lonesome. Now normally, this wouldn't be a problem, I just had to sit in the back room, watch some cameras and occasionally head out for a sweep - there was nothing to it right? 

Well as it turns out, one of the employees had stayed in the building after hours and had managed to avoid my co-worker's sweep from the previous shift. I first noticed a movement in my peripheral vision on one of the screens and then again a few minutes later. This was odd because I was used to quiet nights in this particular building.

I was a little scared when I headed out for my sweep, but it was my job, so I grabbed my flashlight and headed out to begin. I had to start the sweep in one big hallway and right as I entered, I saw a flash of movement at the end of it. At this point, I was sufficiently freaked out. I stood frozen for a minute or so, looking into the semi-darkness and I was unsure of what to do. The decision was taken out of my hands, however, as I heard a gunshot resound down the hallway. In what was the scariest moment of my life, I slowly walked down that hallway to investigate. 

I reached the end and saw to my left that the President's office light was on. Slowly, I approached the door and creaked it open, scared crippled. What I saw will forever haunt me. The man had taken a seat in the president's chair, and shot himself in the head with a pistol, splattering blood and brains all over the floor and the wall. 

Apparently this guy was having problems at home and because the president was supposedly a total jerk to him, he decided to off himself and scare the crap out of the president at the same time. In any case, I threw up a few times and called the police. I got the next two weeks off and I still have nightmares about it sometimes.


1. A sex worker (I know who it was, we were not acquainted I just know the person) took a crap, I repeat, took a crap in the corner of the store. The nightshift guy ignored it for the entire shift (4 to 6 hours) and I got to clean it up when I showed up. It was totally worth my $9.50 per hour

2. Better time. I was working the night shift by myself and it was late (2-3 am) so I start to clean eventually getting to the bathrooms - at this point no one's been in the store for maybe two hours and not in washroom for 3 or more. I walk in to most horrible smell. So, I flip the lights on and poop everywhere, in the sink, in the urinal, on the toilet seat, smeared on walls. I wish I was making a joke or playing on that 'Dumb and Dumber' scene I am NOT. Repressed memories.


Roughly 5 years ago, I was working janitorial in a mall in British Columbia. The task I was assigned was to clean all the main entrances to the mall (pretty basic: mop floors, clean windows, vacuum rugs) and it was odd to see people walking around the exterior of the mall for a few reasons. The biggest being the fact that there is a large parking lot and it was really late at night.

This random drunk dude wanders up to the main doors, waves at me and asks how I'm doing. I wave back and say "fine." He then whips out his penis and starts trying to urinate on me through the small crack in the door. Luckily, the crack wasn't that big and I was quick enough to get out of the way of the stream that makes it through the door. He started laughing and as I stood in shock, staring at him, a police officer flashes his lights and the guy starts to run. He didn't make it very far.

Apparently, security was watching me on camera almost getting pissed on, so he called the police. I watched the video with him and we pretty hard.


I work in a sleep lab. It was just a regular night until my first patient arrived. He was a young, black male who was about 18-years-old. The first words out of his mouth were, "Do you have any lotion?" "Uh, maybe. I'll check for you."

I took him to his room and did a quick search for lotion. "He must be a bit ashy," I thought. (Quick background information: most sleep lab rooms have microphones and cameras to confirm rare sleep disorders).

There was no lotion except for a coworker's really feminine variety. So, I flick the mic on and tell him that we're all out. "Is there a camera in here?" "Yes sir," I said.

Before I go further it is important that I mention that there is time allocated before sleep studies for patients to get settled, do paperwork, eat and more. Right before I go in to begin the test, I turn the cameras on and there he was, on his back in the center of the bed, completely naked. He had commandeered our liquid hand soap and was lubing and stroking with the efficiency and coordination of an Olympic athlete.

That jerk KNEW we had cameras. To top it off, he didn't clean up. He left the liquid soap covered in it's own, and his own, ejaculate on the night stand right next to the bed.

Where ever you are, you jerk, I know what you did. We all do. 


Where do I begin...

As a security guard in a large shopping mall situated downtown:

1) Drunk man falls off of a balcony and lands (head first) onto the ground below. He lived but he had some seriously nasty wounds.

2) A man with an apparent mental disability used the mail room of an attached business tower as his bathroom. A large puddle of piss accompanied by crap smeared down the wall (you could tell he was squatting up against the wall). How he got in to the tower was beyond us. We didn't see him enter when we viewed the security camera footage, we only saw him leave.

3) I actually didn't mind this incident. I was finishing up a night shift and  patrolling one of the business towers (roughly on the 20th floor or so) and find an office door ajar. It turned out to be one of the empty offices and the property manager must have forgotten to close the door all the way on their way out. While clearing it, I just happened to look out the window. Across the street from this building is a hotel. I see a (very fit and attractive) woman opening her blinds while completely nude. I'm not ashamed to say I took a second, much longer look.

As a night security guard for another company, situated in many locations across the city:

1) I patrolled a construction yard for a new seminary. I saw a guy rave dancing in the middle of the yard. Clearly he was not supposed to be there so I approach him and ask him what he was doing. He lunges at me with a knife. Fortunately I was wearing my stab vest so there was no penetration into my lower abdomen, but he broke the protective plating within the vest.

2) Patrolling a Ford dealership, I noticed a guy peeking into windows of cars on the lot. I asked him how he's doing and started just striking up conversation to find out a little about him. Before I even finish asking him how he is, I find myself staring down the barrel of a handgun (presumably 9mm). 

Super scared, I find myself unable to move (except my arms and hands went up over my head before I even realized what I was in the middle of). I clearly remember hearing the firing mechanism "click" against the bullet but it did not fire. Without thinking, I pressed the emergency alert button on my radio, ran and ducked behind a car, and immediately described the suspect in as much detail as I could. The police and a helicopter dispatched and find the guy hiding under a tractor in a nearby heavy equipment dealership.

3) Patrolling a rather sketchy apartment building with my partner, we found ourselves having to arrest some woman for assault by trespass. She spat in my partner's face after we attempted to escort her from the property and she did not live there and had no reason to be in the building. A guy, unrelated to the initial incident, saw me trying to place my handcuffs on this woman and decides it would be a good idea to football tackle me.

I find myself unable to breath and coughing up blood (contusions to left lung were the cause) while defending myself from a drunk and high, 6'5", over 200 pound man (I'm 5'7" and 170 pounds). Backup arrives along with police and we tackle and arrest the man for assault as well as assault on a peace officer. Her tried to trip and kick one of the police officers as well. 

When the court date finally came around, the offender shows up wearing a leather jacket, dirty jeans, a ripped t-shirt, and smelling like marijuana. He shouted in court and claimed I tried to put him in a headlock (which wouldn't have been relevant anyway. Needless to say, he was convicted.


I used to do graveyard security at an emergency room. 

When I just started the job, one night, I was on break and crossing the empty hospital parking lot to walk over to the 7-11.

Out of nowhere, this hatchback starts revving it's engine from across the lot. Then it screeches forward, heading right for me.

At this point, I'm like trying to run serpentine and get over a curb into the street. I'm legit scared I'm going to be ran over by some homicidal wacko. I'm about 30 yards from the curb edge when the car pulls up beside me.

That's when the passenger door flies open and this little woman with blonde hair hops out and starts chasing me. She's yelling, "Hey, you! What are you doing? Come here!"

This is all a big no no for me and I keep running with this little person chasing me.

Then the driver side of the door opens and out pops fellow security guy, Ted, laughing his head off. He introduces the little person woman as Sue, his girlfriend, who is also now laughing.

They go on to explain that they do this to all the new guys.

Sue, if you're our there, I've got nothing but love for ya. Ted, I still kind of hate you.


So I was working at an oil refinery in India, doing the always fun 6 pm to 6 am shift. We would do actual work until around 9 every night then screw around and just make sure everything stayed stable.

Well around 2 am the compressor tripped. What the heck? Great, and now the whole plant was down. We check and saw there was no reason it happened, no high temperature, pre delivery inspection, vibration etc. So we thought, play these things happen every so often so let's do whatever we can to get it going again. 

The next night the same thing happens. This goes on for 4 days or so, and we're getting chewed out by Oleg, the sadistic chief who famously berated an unmarried indian man for being a virgin, and would beat people with bamboo sticks - a really excellent human being. Luckily, we were doing commissioning stuff so losing production wasn't a freakishly huge deal, it was only a moderately huge deal. If it was Starbucks it would be the tall pumpkin latte of disasters, you know delicious but at least it wasn't a venti.

So me and a co-worker are talking and we decide to take one of the security cameras and turn it onto the compressor. But the compressor trips yet again, we go to the security room and get the guard to let us watch the video. It's boring which is expected because it's an oil refinery in India in the middle of the night. There were some lizards crawling around, a few giant flies go by, then suddenly we see a dark figure approaching. Maybe 3 feet tall and walking with a hunch.

It goes up to the compressor and starts turning some dials and pressing some buttons. The compressor trips and it scats out of the area. Oh, but this was no dark spirit from no sleep, it was a god damn monkey.

The solution: they hired a young boy to sit there on guard at night with a cricket paddle thing.


I'm the overnight desk clerk at a small hotel and I've been doing it for nearly six years. If I were a Sim, this is level two of the slacker track. Anyway, it's mostly a very, very boring job.

My hotel is on the waterfront and the dumpster is on the far end of the building, near a crabbing wharf. I go out there one night to take out the lobby trash and it's dark as a bowel so I do things out there mostly by touch. I proceed to lift the dumpster lid and a dinosaur screams in my face.

Great blue herons are terrifying, terrifying birds in the dark. Especially, when they're standing above you flapping their wings because you just upended the surface they're standing on. They will start snapping their knife-face at you while making deep screaming noises.

This heron and I have had other encounters. Once, he was inside the recycling dumpster when I opened it. Frequently, it drops rotting fish or large fish off the roof to explode all over our front patio. Once he even got into an empty guest room during a storm and I had to herd him out. Or he'd just stand outside and make horrible dinosaur-like noises. But he finally vanished last winter and I thought I had outlasted him. Maybe I did. But I have a new one now, and he introduced himself by standing right outside my patio door, stretching his neck at eye-level with me, and shrieking, holding my gaze. Screw you birds. Herons aren't even supposed to be nocturnal.

Aside from demon birds staying up all night just to screw with me, my hotel has a few ghost things and I have had regular problems with sleepwalkers. Men who sleepwalk, why do you sleep nude?


Source 1, 2

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.