People Around The World Reveal What Would Happen If Someone Said "I'm Gay" In Their Country.

Around the world, LGB rights are slowly inching (or in some case hurdling) toward equality. From country to country, and sometimes even within a country, attitudes towards non-heterosexual relationships can scale from "Okay, so your point is...?" to prison, or even immediate death. Here, people from fifteen different countries worldwide shared what would happen if you were to say, "I'm gay" in their country.

1. Ireland

Northern Ireland is fairly accepting of gay people in general (although gay marriage isn't legal - even though it won a majority vote in 2015), but it certainly won't win any prizes for its acceptance of gay people.

I mean, nothing's really going to happen. You won't be killed. You might risk being kicked out of your house if you live with your parents, or severing ties with family and/or friends. Definitely, people will be less comfortable with being friends with you and you'll get more than a few looks and whispered comments. Be very prepared to be called a mean name.

In terms of your overall safety, you're pretty much fine.

However, I'm a teenager, and while a lot of adults I know are homophobic, most of my peers are pretty liberal on the matter, so hopefully the next generation won't care as much and we might finally get gay marriage legalised.

Kate Monaghan

2. The UK

Being gay is pretty unremarkable. I mean its just who you fancy. Most common responses:


From somebody who doesnt really care. A vast majority of the population.

OkaySo what do you want to drink?

Meaning I dont care, thats a bit weird that youd mention it, we should solve this slight pause with a drink.

Yeah, I know

I mean its usually not a surprise. From my experience, anyway. I cant remember ever being surprised.

What you do between the sheets, mate, none of my business

Someone who doesnt want to know. They may even be against homosexuality in private but theyll not say it to your face. This is a minority opinion in the UK, and hopefully won't be there at all soon.

James Pain

3. Azerbaijan

Lesbian, gay, bisexuals, and transgender (LGBT) persons in Azerbaijan may face legal challenges not experienced by non-LGBT residents. Same-sex sexual activity for both men and women is legal in Azerbaijan, but households headed by same-sex couples are not eligible for the same legal protections available to heterosexual couples.

So, officially gays have same rights as heterosexuals. In reality, they don't.

Parents: It is more common for a father to express shock. Most probably he will act angrily first. Afterwards he will not talk with you. You will be ignored by him. Your mother will be a little more supportive than your father but still she also will feel shocked. Most probably your family will not force you to leave the home. Your brother will not talk and will not take you in serious. Sisters as always will try to understand you. This is a generalization, of course, but seems to be what happens based on gender roles here.

Friends: Friendship is one of the holy words in Azerbaijan. Your best friend will probably feel shocked, furious. Afterwards he will tell you not to tell anyone. I am talking about only true friends. Mates/colleagues: Some will ridicule you and some will try to avoid talking with you. Some of them will call you Dutch. In Azerbaijan, Netherlands is perceived as a paradise of gays.

Society: Majority of people definitely will not like you and everyone will try to avoid talking with you. You will be ignored. But some exceptions may exist. Some fraction of Azerbaijani society is (Continued)

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very open minded. Those people will come towards you and will try to support you. Some ultra-conservative people may attack you, especially in rural areas. So, it would not be 100% safe to say I am gay in society. In Azerbaijan homosexuality is not brand new. Some celebrities and governmental officials are gay and most of the people know it.


4. Canada

This is the Prime Minister of Canada. Earlier this year, Justin Trudeau raised a gay pride flag in our Parliament Hill.

Gay marriages have been legal here since July, 2005. Same sex adoptions are legal here. Transgender reassignment surgeries are covered by healthcare. If you told me that you were gay, Id give you a high five.

Our current Prime Ministers father, when HE was Justice Minister (before becoming Prime Minister) made Canada one of the first Western Nations to legalize Homosexuality itself; before that, consensual sodomy was a criminal offence. "The State has no business in the bedrooms of nation" is a famous quote to remember.

Canada is not without its flaws, but I am so very proud to call it home.


5. India

I remember our English teacher teaching us a peom called Daffodils by William Wordsworth. It's one of my favourite poems. One of the stanza in the poems reads -says:

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazedand gazedbut little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought

Everyone started laughing when the poet called himself 'gay'. Our teacher explain that 'gay' means 'jolly'. I really liked how the word sounded.

This photo is from a Marathi show called Comedy Express.

Both of these people as men dressed as women. Men dressed as women is a clich comedy trick in India. It is seen as something awkward and funny. I know gay men don't always dress as women but I just pointing out that it is seen as something funny and unusual. What responses you get depends on your friend circle.

In my friend circle there is a guy who is really feminine, he may not be gay but he might be. In fact, he is a very nice person and a good friend. If suppose he comes out and says Hey, I'm gay. I'd be like, I thought so. You can expect to be made fun of. But then we make fun of Playboys and Virgins, and Singles and Couples alike. Most likely you'd be made fun of more often. But if your friends are discriminating against you because of that, then you're friends with the wrong people.

Now, if a stranger approaches me and says, I'm gay. I'd assume he's asking for a quickie so I'd say sorry, but I'm not gay. I mean why else would anyone go around telling strangers that he's gay.

If you're thinking of coming out in front of your parents I'd advise against it. Most Indian parents are conservative and may take you to a psychiatrist or a doctor. If you're sure that your parents are really open minded you can go ahead.

I have a bisexual friend, she has a boyfriend now, but says that she prefers girls more than boys. None of us really mind.

Overall, I must say, sex or sexual preferences are not a topic of discussion in India.

Kedar Joshi

6. The USA

Our country (The USA) has finally legalized same-sex marriage. If you said you were gay in a public setting (depending on what State you were in) you could (Continued)

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reasonably walk away safe in broad daylight, but you may not feel very safe.

Our country is VERY big, and there are LOTS of people, and not every state is very kind to gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, or transgender people.

If you said this in the middle of a restaurant in West Hollywood, California, nothing would happen.

If you said it in the middle of a bar in rural Arkansas, or any other middle American stateI dont know.

It could be met with stares, and at the very worst it may open you up to being the victim of a hate crime if you werent careful. People do get accosted walking to their cars.

As much as I would like to believe the entirety of my nation is a bunch of fun loving, feel good friendlies, we arent. We have our fair share of very ignorant, hateful, and fearful people.
Mike DiGirolamo

7. The Netherlands

What would happen if you say I'm a gay in your country?

We would say, "So, Youre Not Gay In Your Own Country?"

The Dutch are known for their dry humour (like wit but less sophisticated).

Although there are areas in the Netherlands where it wouldnt be safe to show same gender affection in public, for the most part the Dutch are pro-gay rights and the Gay Pride parade is almost like a national holiday. So, being gay in the Netherlands is not controversial.

Martyn V. Halm

8. Syria

In Syria, there are three cases:

You happen to say Im gay in a region that is controlled by armed terrorist militias, including, but not limited to, the Islamic State. Sharia law is the sole and only law that is applicable there. That means that you will be thrown off a high, probably the highest, building in downtown.

You happen to say Im gay in a region that is dominated by the Syrian regime. You will almost certainly be ridiculed and insulted by whoever you talk to. That would be mostly verbal insults, although it can definitely take a more violent form. If you are unlucky, someone will report you to the Syrian intelligence agencies, which will arrest, insult and perhaps torture you even more badly, and then maybe sentence you to spend some time in jail. I wouldnt expect death penalty in this scenario.

You happen to say Im gay in a region that is dominated by the Kurds. These areas have a de facto local administration and are subject to neither the Islamic State nor the Syrian government. The mentality and attitude towards you would probably be similar to the second case, but Im not sure whether anyone would care to arrest you, as the governance there isnt well-established yet (and theres a chance that the Kurds would actually be more tolerant, or so one hopes).

If you are a citizen of a developed nation who happens to be in Syria and publicly talk about their sexual orientation, then that would change nothing about the first case, but would probably help you avoid the torture in the second case (and be deported instead), and face less harsh consequences in the third case.

Haidar Abboud

9. Finland

Here in Finland I think people would probably ask Ah, so youre a Swede. Its a running joke in Finland that (Continued)

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all Swedes are gay.

There are definitely anti-homosexual hate crimes committed in Finland, just like in most other places. There was a straight pride demonstration one or two years ago, organized by an ugly mix of Christian extremists and a very small contingent of Finnish neo-nazis.

But to most parts its a safe country for rainbow people.

David Weinehall

10. Norway

In Norway, even the national protestant church accepts Gay marriage. The mayor of my town is gay, and no-one ever mentions it outside the local Pride Festival. If someone so happened to publicly say Im Gay, most people would probably either not notice because theyre busy taking snaps or listening to Beyonc on their phone, or just look at you with an air of supreme boredom and say yes, and?

Besides a limited number of conservative countryside folks (mostly followers of the Laestadianism sect), really, really far-right people, and extreme religious folk, no-one cares about others being gay, lesbian, bi, straight or anything like that.

Its just a non-issue really.

Lyonel Perabo

11. The Phillippines

You either shout youre gay or say to your friends that youre gay, it doesnt matter, Filipinos judge you not on your sexual orientation, but your action and attitude.

But, there is still a lot of stereotypes, in the Philippines, when a straight person thinks of the word gay, they imagine a cross dressing femme boy, and the word lesbian, they imagine a brutish boyish woman.

The Philippines is still new to the concept that not all gay people act flamboyantly or dress as a drag queen. Filipinos would be pretty shocked to learn that someone was gay but moves like a straight guy, this type of person is considered very rare. Also, when people see good looking gay men/women, straight guys regard him/her as cool and girl would want to befriend them

Our President is pro LGBT, he may pass the same sex marriage bill on his term.

Meiji Marts

12. China

In first tier cities like Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen (where I am), people are richer and better educated generally, so they dont care, or some of them would feel a only bit weird to hear someone say he/she is gay.

Actually, my colleagues and friends seem particularly fond of LGB people. It's like a unique quality, to them.

In small cities or rural areas, which is the main population of China, people mostly will (Continued)

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feel weird or even gross.

But China is a country of 1.4 billion people, so no matter where you are, there are always open minded and narrow minded people, and thanks to the fast penetration of internet to peoples life, Chinese people are learning about the outside world fast, and they are making huge progress on education and worldviews.

Welcome to take a look in China.

Russell Tsang

13. Eritrea

They wouldnt know what youre talking about, since theres no word for that in my country. After you explained it to them they would probably be grossed out and scream at you. After the police arrive you will be thrown in prison and face 3 years in prison for merely just being attracted to the same sex.

Jordan Left

14. Mexico

It depends on which part of the country you happen to be in. There are States in Mxico that are very hetero-macho culture oriented (like Monterrey), but even there you will find open minded people who dont really care what you do under the sheets.

Very catholic people will try to convince you that homosexuality is against God, but they dont mean any harm, they just have different opinions. Most of these people will treat you okay.

I find it difficult to think that you will encounter physical violence, but hate crimes still occur, and transgender people are the most affected by it.

If you say I am gay in Puerto Vallarta, you may end up having sex that night since (Continued)

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is a very gay-friendly tourist area, lucky you! The same goes to other cities such as Guadalajara or Cancn.

In Mxico City, again it will depend on where you are since is almost a mini-world by itself. I think you will raise some eyebrows, but the general reaction will be something like meh. We are a city of more than 20 million, so we are not easily surprised here.

Mexicans like a good laugh, you may hear some jokes at your expense but you could always tell the difference between a harmless joke or an insult.

So, act as you are but if you sense you are in danger, use your mind.

scar Nieves

15. Russia

In Western part of Russia and major cities you are very unlikely to be given hard times about that. If you dress stereotypically gay, you can get a few looks, but thats it. But dont expect most of the people to be appreciative. As everywhere else, young people would be more open-minded and interested. I have gay friends myself (I didnt ask them to tell), and my common reaction is, as a relatively young straight male - Thats okay, but why would I want to know? - because for me it makes no difference at all. And its really weird if you go on about your usual friend conversation, and, then, hes like, out of nowhere - Im gay. Makes no sense. But there are places around each town of course such as clubs, neighborhoods where the same statement will probably get you adored or laid, if thats what youre up to.

But the further you go east up to the Far Eastern part, the more caution should you exercise. People tend to be more conservative en masse and bad things happen.


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.