People Share How Their Marriage Pacts Actually Panned Out.

Finding "the one" is becoming increasing more difficult, especially in this day and age with apps like Tinder and a somewhat dysfunctional dating/hookup culture. The following AskReddit users saved the stress and simply followed through on childhood/adolescent pact to marry someone from their past. Screw having to get to know someone from scratch. As these couple's prove, it's not always about love but sharing a genuine companionship as well.

Source list available at the end.

Not exactly a funny story, but one of my cousins had a marriage pact with a girl he dated in high school. He went to college and moved, but a year later, she moved out to marry him. It wasn't really for love, she had a degenerative nerve disease, and he had excellent insurance. They got married, and he took care of her until she died. I don't think they were ever romantic during their marriage. It was just something he could do for someone he was close to.


Anyone remember Google Mystery Missions from years ago?

If not, Mystery Missions was a site where you'd put in a request and other people had to fulfill that request. Each time you reloaded the page, you would get new ones to look through. I stumbled across hers looking for someone to talk to, this was about a decade ago, so we were both 14.

She was from Memphis while I was from Chicago. We instantly became best friends. For years, we talked every single day. Around 17/18, we made a marriage pact. If by 30, we were both still single, then we would marry each other. At this point, we knew we had strong feelings for each other, but the thought of being in the same place didn't seem possible at the time.

Since the pact, we lost touch here and there. It felt like a big piece of me was missing whenever that happened. We both had relationships that didn't work out. About 2 years ago, we started talking about being in a relationship and just being together. I met her for the first time about 18 months ago. We're engaged, and she found a new job in Chicago.


My wife and I dated during that awkward summer between high school and college, and then she went her way and I went mine. We sort of joked about such a thing. We didn't really say it. It was more of a "Wouldn't it be funny if... Yeah, you know what, that would work." 

I think I saw her for lunch like one time when we were in our 20s. Anyway, ran into her again at a friend's party when I was 28, and we hit it off. She'd just gotten divorced after 2 years of marriage, and I was just back from law school. It was nice as we both knew the other wasn't a psychopath, and we more or less got along with each other's families. We also had many mutual friends.

Anyway, here we are almost 20 years after we ran into each other. We've been married for 16 years, have a couple of kids, and live in the suburbs. It's all good.


I had a really close friend in high school who was a social butterfly, and for whatever reason, she liked to hang out with awkward nerds like me. One day, she suggested a marriage pact if we were both still single by 35. I agreed with a laugh because, honestly, I didn't even expect her to remember who I was among all of her other friends, and there was no way she'd still be single by then.

After graduation, her family moved to the other side of the country. I figured I'd just be another Facebook friend, but we stayed in touch and actually started talking more. I'm talking constant Skype webcam and phone calls way too late into the night. Turns out, I was one of the few people that actually bothered to put anything into continuing a relationship with her, and about a year after graduation, she confessed she had fallen in love with me.

That was 7 years ago. We're getting married in 29 days.


I joined my high school graduating class in Grade 11. It was a rural school, and most of the people there had been classmates their whole lives. Come graduation people were assigned partners for the graduation parade. I was assigned to a beautiful young lady, who had a boyfriend a grade below us, while I also had a girlfriend a grade below us. Some guys were ribbing me about my "assigned grad date" when another guy (who was usually very quiet) spoke up and boldly stated, "I'm going to marry her." Everyone kind of just chuckled, and we all headed to our next class. I was very impressed when I reconnected with my old classmates on Facebook years ago and saw that he did indeed marry her. They even have grandchildren.


Since Grade 6 my best friend and I had this running joke. Once we were both single... we'd give it a go. Why? Because we were probably going to end up getting married to each other anyway since she was the only person who'd ever put up with me and visa versa.

We got married last month after 5 years of dating.


My wife and I made a pact at 15. We led different lives after high school. I joined the Army, and she moved to California. Somehow, ten years after we had made that original pact, we ended up in the same area again and started dating. We rushed it by five years, but it was worth it.


We met on a computer bulletin board system when I was 21 and in college. We both had ambiguous handles and didn't know each other's gender at first. Once he figured out that I was a female, he automatically assumed that I was unattractive (I wasn't) because why else would I be hanging out on a BBS with a bunch of geeks. When I figured out that he was a male, I thought he was in his forties or something. I considered the age difference and decided I could still make it work. Turns out, he was actually like 14. I definitely couldn't make that work.

This was awfully inconvenient because we were falling in love. I finally agreed to marry him if I was still single at 60. He eventually talked me down to 40. We tried to date other people, but we would always end up disappointing them because we were both in love with someone else. We talked pretty much everyday, and it was usually via internet chat. Most of our relationship was long distance because we lived in different states/countries.

We got married when I was 29 and he was 23. It seemed a lot more respectable, and we've been married for 14 years now.


I made one about 10 years ago with a very close friend. We never dated, hooked up, or anything like that. We had just agreed that it would make the most sense in the long run if we both didn't find our soulmates on the way to his 30th. He was also a couple of years younger than me. I'm currently 30 and six and a half months pregnant with the love of my life- who is not the guy I made the deal with. 

About 2 months ago, I met him and his girlfriend at the OB/GYN waiting room. I came for a regular pregnancy check, and they came for the pregnancy confirmation. We laughed because we didn't share the news with each other yet, and we never spoke about the pact with our partners. Now we're both waiting for our firstborns with different people while sharing pregnancy joys and stuff. In the end, everything turned out even better than what we could've expected. 


 I met my current girlfriend on World of Warcraft eleven years ago. I lived in Maryland, and she lived in Missouri. I told her one day, a long time ago, that Im going to marry you one day. Years went by, we communicated on and off. I didnt speak to her for an entire year (2015). I messaged her last February. Soon after, I moved to be with her (by July 2016).

 Tonight, during the get-together we're having, Im getting on one knee and asking her to marry me.


We made a pact when I was 21 and he was 20. It was that if we were both still single, then we would get married when I was 40. We couldn't wait that long, and he asked me to marry him when I was 23. We've been married for just over 4 years now.

I think if you're seriously making a pact like this, then you both need to ask yourselves if the reasons why you're not getting married right now are  good enough ones. In our case, they weren't.


My husband and I met on Ultima Online. It was just two kids playing video games, but we swapped email addresses, AOL instant messenger, and then Facebook in college. He always said we'd end up together. One day, I casually agreed. 

I flew from SC to PA to visit him after graduating college. We started dating, got engaged, and married all within a year and a half. We never actually thought there would be a scenario in real life where we'd meet face-to-face, let alone end up together. We'll be married for 7 years this coming weekend.


When my fianc and I were just friends, we had the pact discussion. I think one of us said, "Let's make the marriage pact." The other said, "Okay, if we're not married by 30, let's keep looking for someone better than each other."

I don't remember who said what. All I know is that we're getting married in 6 months, and I just turned 30. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure what that says about us.


Two of my good friends are both homosexuals (a gay man and a lesbian woman). They both decided that if they didn't get into a serious relationship, then they would get married.

They have two wonderful kids together and are amazing people.

They are still looking for their ideal same-sex partner, but it's very clear how much they do love each other and care about their kids.


My boyfriend and I kind of made one in middle school. We agreed in Grade 7 that no matter what happened in high school or after we would stay friends. We dated through Grade 8 and the beginning of freshman year, but we broke up and didn't talk for almost 3 years. We started talking again, and after about 4 months, we were dating again. We're 2 years into our relationship, have a 7-month-old daughter, and are working on getting a place together.


I made this pact with my male best friend in high school. When we were about 20, he told me that even if he got married before 30, and I still wasn't married, he would divorce her for me (which I found to be an odd statement). We went our separate ways, and I didn't hear from him until I turned 31. By this time, he was married. However, I wasn't. We spent the day together before he asked me, "Remember our marriage pact?" He wanted to divorce his wife for me. I declined.

He and I were best friends from 15-20. Somewhere between those ages was when we made the pact. A week after that conversation was when he told me how he really felt about me and I declined. A month after, he brought this girl into my workplace, introduced her to me (He only just met her after he told me how he felt, which is why I didn't know who she was), and showed me the ring- explaining how they were engaged. They got married. 

As it turns out, this was the same wife he wanted to leave for me when I heard from him again 10 years later. Yes, they did have two children, and yes, he is (or was) unhappy in his marriage. I have no clue if he's still married to her today. He lives a short walk away from where my parents live (I live 90 minutes away now), but I have no interest in seeing how he's doing. No, we were never romantically involved as I only saw him as my best friend.


I was 15 and he (my male best friend) was 21. He wasn't creepy, friend zoned, or anything like that. Just someone I could talk to about anything. I told him that by the time we were 25 and 31 we should get married.

After he joined the Army, we actually wound up getting married at 20 and 26. Eight and a half years later, we're still madly in love.


My wife and I met as teenagers in a Marilyn Manson chat room on AOL. We had a long distance relationship for a couple years in high school. I was in Iowa, and she was in Washington. We ended up meeting in real life, and we would take turns visiting each other. I applied for college out East, and she applied for schools in Des Moines. Shortly after my 18th birthday she dumped me.

We stayed in contact over the years, and we would often joke about a marriage pact if neither one of us got married by 30. Seven years ago, I looked her up on FB. She was single and living in Boston. I was in an unhappy relationship and still living in Des Moines. We just clicked again. It was just when we were teenagers, and we both realized it was meant to be.

Within a year, my wife relocated to West Des Moines, and we got an apartment together. We got married in 2013 and just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. Weve lived in Iowa, Maryland, and now California. She's my best friend, and I would do anything for her and move anywhere with her. I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else, and I'm so thankful that it all worked out. I'm looking forward to our future and spending the rest of our lives together.

Some people are just meant to be. They just have a connection and an understanding that's stronger than everything else. I whole-heartedly believe thats us.


I had this pact with my best friend. We dated at 15, broke up at 16, went through the whole dramatic first heartbreak bit, forgave one another, admitted that there were still feelings there, but we wanted to see what else life had to offer. So we made a promise that if we were both still single at 30, you know, we'd just call it and get married.

We dated other people, went to college, moved to other states, stopped talking for a while due to jealous partners, became friends again, and had one lousily drunken hookup but stayed close friends. 

At the age of 25, we decided waiting 5 more years was a giant waste of time. We were already best friends, in love, and got along very well. We both had our fair share of ridiculous experiences and got everything out of our systems.

We are currently 27 and planning on getting married around 30 (just to somewhat stick to our original plan), and we're completely happy.


We married young and had two kids. We parent well together, and there's no one else I could handle day-long road trips with, but we really, really suck at marriage. We jokingly made a divorce pact for 2020 thinking that we'd both still be young enough to enjoy going out, and by then, we'd have the kids through their adolescent years. As it turns out, we only made it a year longer than our pact, and we're currently in the process of ending our marriage. There's no one else I'd rather peacefully work through all of this with though. Whether it's in 2020 or now.


I had my first teenage love at the ripe age of 16. We dated for 2 years, we learned a lot, and we quickly matured. We loved each other so much.

Then the good/bad news happened. Senior year, we applied to the same schools. She got into UCLA and I didn't, but I got into NYU and she didn't. We were so torn. I remember both of us being so happy that we got into such great schools, but we also realized that we would be apart.

We cried so much that day. I'll never forget it. We were inseparable, and we tried to talk and reason things out. We called, texted, and set up Skype dates. I think we both knew in the back of our mind, though, that we needed to be single for the next chapter in our lives.

This was our biggest heartbreak. I remember her crying on my shoulder in my room. I was holding back tears. I told her that everything was going to be alright and that we would still keep in touch. I remember my main goal was for her to feel better.

One day while we were eating ice cream at our favorite spot under a big willow tree, I told her that we should be single as we start on these new chapters. We both agreed even though it was so hard for us. I let her know this was to protect the both of us from temptation, and I didn't want to hold her back from partying and experience college. She let me know that she also wanted the best for me. I'll never forget that.

"Can you promise to never forget about me?" 

"Of course, you're my one and only. The timing of our relationship is what is causing us to split."

"What if life gets in the way, and we go our separate ways? What if we find other people and drift apart?" 

"It's possible, but I'll always remember you and try to keep in touch."

"Can you promise me that you'll reach out to me when I'm 25?" 

"I'm going to set a calendar reminder right now, I promise."

As you can probably guess, the first year was tough. We kept in touch and still talked on a regular basis. I saw her on social media partying with new friends and I could only wish that I was there. Our busy student lives got in the way. One day, I saw her Facebook relationship status change to "In a Relationship with __". I felt like a truck had hit my chest. I cried that day like I've never cried. She had moved on and found someone else. Even though we were both single for a while, it sucked.

We still messaged here and there, but it was evident I was no longer a priority. I deleted all my social media accounts and moved on with my life.

Fast forward (7 years to this summer), I'd been through two relationships. I lived in the city now and was in my third-year of residency. I was studying at a cafe when my phone suddenly vibrated. I glanced over, and it was a calendar reminder. "Reach out to ___, she's 25 today." My heart fluttered, and my mind went insane. I had totally forgotten. It had been 7 years, and I had so many questions.

I started digging around and quickly found out that she had changed her number. I spent a solid hour thinking of what to say, only to type: "Happy 25th birthday :)"

A response came a couple of minutes later: "Hey thanks, who's this?"

After I revealed who I was and told her how I remembered to reach out to her on her 25th birthday, I found out that she had been living in NJ and was working as a paralegal while going to law school.

We made plans to meet up and catch up. It was like nothing had changed. She was still beautiful as ever, smart, and motivated. I found out that she was single and so was I.

I asked, "Why did you want me to reach out to you when you're 25? It was really random."

"Well, I was hoping that we would  both be single by then and -" a waitress cut us off because we had stayed for 5 hours. 

The rest is history.



Posts are edited for clarity. 

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.