People Share How To Have A Successful Social Life Without Consuming Alcohol.

Casual alcohol consumption is fine, but when people start binge drinking, a night out can turn into a "blackout" fest. One in six Americans binge drink about four times a month, consuming more than eight drinks, and it's most common in young adults ages 18-34. The following AskReddit users share why they chose an alternative lifestyle that doesn't involve alcohol, but the ability to still go out and have a good time. 

Source list available at the end.

I hate to say it, but I had to find a new social circle that wasn't into the party scene. They weren't willing to accept that I was trying to make a change, and they were constantly trying to cajole me into drinking again. When I didn't, they would say that I was being a spoilsport. I always told them that my drinking, or not drinking, should have zero impact on their level of fun, but they disagreed. I could hang out with one to two people from the group, but not all of them at once. So sadly, it meant that I had to find a new social circle to roll with.


I used to drink heavily. I was always the drunk one at parties. I got sick of always making a fool of myself, so I started volunteering as the designated driver.

People raised a few eyebrows, but no one ever really gave me trouble over it. After a while, people got used to the idea of me not being blackout drunk all of the time. Now, I only drink when it's an occasion, and I don't drink nearly as much.

At first, I thought it was going to suck being the sober one in a club, or not being included in drinking games at house parties. And at first, it did a little, but then I realized how much easier it actually was for me to socialize sober. I used to be awkward and anxious and think that I needed the alcohol. Once I got a little confidence, I realized that while I was sober, I could actually make real connections with people (that I couldn't when I was drunk). People actually thought I was funny, smart, cool, and they respected me when I wasn't acting like a drunk fool. I have way more friends now as the mostly sober kid than I ever did as the drunk one.


I did something similar, but without quitting drinking entirely. I realized one day (as if it were a huge epiphany) that my eyes felt so droopy. My mind just felt so dull. I think I'm a relatively awesome day-to-day person, but I didn't feel that way at all. It confused me that I had never noticed this about my drunk self. I had no confidence. I was just dumb and wearing a thousand mile stare that I couldn't shake. The lights were on, but no one was home.

I'd stumbled through all these countless parties and bars thinking I needed to go overboard to get more confidence, more fun, etc.. but it really does do the exact opposite after a certain threshold. After about 6 or 12 drinks (differs per person obviously) you have nothing interesting to say, your wit disappears, and you are no longer clever. Other people start to notice those droopy eyes, and you look ugly. You sound like a dullard, and you're unattractive!

So, I've upgraded my life (and my wallet), and now I have a 5 drink limit on a night I'm out with friends. Maybe that's a lot for some, but 10 to 15 drinks used to be normal for me on a crazy night. What is most surprising to me is how good I feel when it's not a race to drink more. Slipping warmly and slowly into that 5 drink jacket really does make me feel more confident and social, but my eyes don't have to droop. I'm certainly over the .08, but my mind is sharp, I'm funny, and loose, but I'm clever and not just a clumsy fool. There's little to no hangover. Probably the best perk of all, talking to women is SO much easier that it's mind blowing when you're on your fourth beer vs your eleventh.

So yeah, I'd recommend to anyone who is hesitant to stop drinking entirely.. just try keeping it light. Cut your consumption by a third and marvel at your newfound greatness!


My own self "identity" was as that "party guy" who got everyone messed up and was always messed up. I was like this for just over 7 years (especially in college). I surrounded myself with people who also were drunkards, or willing to get reckless and blackout with me a lot ("blackout buddies" as I would called them). Over the past 6 months, I have come to realize that I have a problem, and I don't want to be "that guy" anymore. I'm tired of looking like a fool and just feeling like complete waste for the days after a long binge drinking session on the weekends. It has been one of the hardest things to realize and to do because my life was based around drinking and partying. It was practically for so long that being sober is new to me, and I have to practically recreate my self-image and thought process.

A month ago, I decided to go completely sober for 60 days (no alcohol and/or drugs). It has been quite the journey so far where I am still exposing myself to social drinking surrounding, however, I am using techniques such as tonic and lime type drinks to ease my way into this new mentality of not drinking. I have slowly phased myself away from the "friends" that were my "blackout buddies" and have started to try and pick up new hobbies such as photography, biking, and exposing myself to nature more often. I have informed all of the people that I care about that I have stopped drinking for these 60 days to ensure for myself that drinking is a want and not a need in my life. Almost everyone understands and supports me, and if they don't then I try to practically remove them from my life. Over the past 37 days, I have been called "no fun" and other countless insults a countless number of times when exposing myself to bars and when ordering from the bartender a tonic and lime (or just a water). It hasn't been enjoyable to say the least, however, I want to be sure that I am able to say no in the element of a bar, instead of just hiding per say from it all for 60 days.

Honestly, I am not a fan of being the designated driver for drunk people, and I found that one out quite quickly. I am not sure if I will continue drinking, but I understand more or less that I don't want to get to those points anymore and turn into that "party guy," maybe to just have one drink. My goal is to ensure that I don't need alcohol, I just want it. 


I'm someone who doesn't drink and also doesn't like to DD for my drunk friends. My best advice is to find "activity friends," people to socialize with through the things that you do together. It's the same way that you'll end up meeting people much of the time, but the trick is to pick activities that you can do with someone over and over again.

For me, rock climbing and gaming are two hobbies that I've built some of my social network around. I'll meet people through these activities and get to know them, and eventually, we'll start hanging out in other contexts. Also, you can figure out what threshold of people and alcohol consumption you don't mind being around. For me, I don't mind being around 4 or 5 of my friends who are drinking, but I get annoyed very quickly at large gatherings. It took some time for my friends to realize that I wasn't going to drink with them, but they're used to it now and rarely try to pressure me to drink.

I guess what I'm saying is that alcohol is a common interest a lot of people share, but there's no reason that you can't do the same with other interests. Also, it's okay to be around alcohol and not consume it. You just need to stick to your guns for a bit until you set the expectation that you won't be drinking with them.


I'd like to add that it really depends on why you want an alcohol-free social life. For me, it was the realization that I made a fool of myself every time that I drank, so I'd have more fun if I didn't. That realization still holds true 10 years later. For me, having fun is the reason why I don't drink. This doesn't stop me from having a glass with the buddies though. Mine is just alcohol-free.

If you're coming from a different angle, be it booze-troubles, meds that can't be taken with alcohol, or perhaps a new set of friends who frown on drinking, you need to focus on why, instead of, the absence of alcohol. Go into your new social habits with a focus on the new fun setting/activity/people rather than thinking, "I do this instead of getting drunk."

You don't need to change your whole life, just shift your focus a bit. Smaller changes (but real changes) are easier to maintain.


I began to ride motorcycles when I was 18. It has become my life passion. Drinking and riding would certainly kill me, or at least get me in jail, so I don't do it.

Then, when you have this hobby, find others who love it EVEN MORE THAT YOU. That is the important part I think. Learn from those around you. Find your brotherhood. Make your goals clear to your friends.

Enjoy a life that doesn't require drugs or alcohol. A life that requires getting smashed or high to have any enjoyment is worthless because it renders you worthless during it. Enjoy everything (even your hobby) within moderation.


The only thing that has changed since I stopped drinking is that I don't drink. I still go out a lot. I don't spend nearly as much money, and I'm never hung over. I'm happier. I still have all of the same friends, and my social life is infinitely better.


My solution at the moment is to suggest activities within bars. So rather than "Let's go to the pub," I'll suggest going to the pool/snooker club, or watching a sport somewhere, then when I'm not drinking for some reason, it's seen as a little more acceptable. Pub quizzes are also a good one. I also play a decent amount of pick up sports like touch rugby. I'm trying to get into handball or baseball. I host my own "film nights" as well. Tell people to bring what they want (usually charge entry at a bag of popcorn).

It was sad that when I started doing this though and saying, "How about not a bar" and the resounding silence when everyone realized that that was pretty much all that they ever did.


I don't drink, and I never have (I'm 20, drinking age in my country is 16). Not drinking is awesome man, just give yourself the one rule: "Everything is funny. Everything is amusing." Once you give yourself permission to feel good without alcohol, all kinds of little things pump you up. It makes you laugh when the DJ makes a weird transition, when a girl is acting bitchy, when people are doing random stuff. You don't need alcohol. Create the healthy habit of making yourself happy. You don't need anything. Oh and you won't feel terrible the next day.


Find new restaurants and introduce friends to discover them with you together. It can be just one friend at first. After you know a lot of restaurants, you can even make it a topic to talk to new friends about.


Let me pull those drunk goggles off your face and show you the reality here. Bars suck. They are loud, dirty places filled with people having fairly boring discussions that they are only really enjoying because they are drunk. Hell, the whole experience only works because they are all drunk. The food sucks on top of all of that.

As someone who does not do a lot of drinking, your first step in having a better social life is getting away from bars entirely. The whole thing is a waste of time. Think of socializing as a way to actually connect with people, to learn about them, to enjoy yourself, and an excuse to explore the world around you. Research local sports leagues, museums, and weird local flair.

We are entering summer, so it's a perfect time to get into a lot of outdoor activities that you can do like hiking, mountain climbing, water sports, etc. Be exhausted during the day, so that by the end of it, you will want to go home and chill out with a movie and not go to a bar. Hell, invite friends over to watch it with you (maybe the ones you went out hiking with earlier).

The point is, your first step is rejecting bar life entirely.


A large part of my problem with drinking was because I didn't like socialising sober. Which meant that I didn't like socialising. I accepted this fact and now socialise a lot less.

I think part of quitting drinking is facing up to facts about yourself. I am not that big into people and that is okay. It's just the way that I am. I have accepted that about myself.


I don't drink, and I'm pretty damn happy with my social life. I guess the thing that keeps me away from alcohol is that my father and grandparents drank a lot. It's "already programmed into my brain" that when I take the first sip, I will keep wanting more. Even if it's not true, I'd never want to do it because of how I've seen it ruin other people's lives, and I don't just want to throw my money away.

Find a group of friends that don't drink. It may be hard, but there's people out there for you. When you find that group of friends, just do fun things together like travel, go to the movies, LAN parties to play one big game of Civilization V, anything that doesn't involve drinking.


I have found that alcohol is definitely not needed for enjoyment at parties or social gatherings. I have been sober for 15 years and simply enjoy conversing with people at parties and events because I get to watch them become inebriated. I also get to say ludicrous things to people who are really drunk because they have very little chance of remembering anything. It is very enlightening to engage in this kind of play.


I quit drinking for 4 1/2 years. I still went out to clubs to go dancing, went to parties, etc. If you need alcohol to feel relaxed and social then you're just going to have to train yourself to be those things without it. It may take a while and some practice. Fake it till you make it. I found that it really wasn't that hard, and I'm a pretty hardcore introvert. It'll help you build confidence that's for sure. Some people will make comments about it, but you have to just shrug them off. Drinking is fine, but some people put way too much emphasis on getting drunk in order to have fun. I definitely prefer to remember what I did the night before and to not have a hangover. Go out there and do everything that people do while drinking, just don't drink. Hell, I even eventually worked up the courage to dance in night clubs stone cold sober. That was a big one for me. You just kind of let go and let yourself get into it. Learn not to care what other people think because all those other people are probably drunk anyway and totally focused on themselves.


In one word: sports.


I haven't had a drink in my whole life. It's not even a issue in my social life. The friends that I have had for years know that I don't drink, and sometimes, they joke about that, but they never give me a hard time about it. The new people that I meet, well they meet me already knowing that I don't drink, so it's not really a problem either. Whenever someone new keeps on pushing me to drink, I just tell him a very sad history about how I used to be an alcoholic and I lost everything, or I also tell them that in my religion it is forbidden to drink (and then create a history about a really weird religion). My friends just laugh and are probably the ones who insists with that the drinking stop.

Now, I think the most difficult age not to drink is 15-18 when you want to be cool, especially in front of the ladies (it's even harder to say no thanks). I know that, but at times, you have learn how to say, "No" and not do whatever everyone else is doing. It gives you a little character and makes you a little bit stronger. In college, it is not that hard to say, "No, thanks."

There are a few time when not drinking is a problem. For example, I like to go and watch sport matches in a bar. A couple of times, I ask for a coke, and they have told me that if I'm not going to drink beer or something more expensive then I have to go. It sucks, but if you think about it, it's not really my problem, it's theirs.

Finally, I have a little advice. I don't drink, but my friends do. Sometimes (especially in the past), I really enjoyed to go out with them, but when we would go out to a bar, they would get super drunk and live in a fantasy world. The next day, I would tell them about their drunk history, and how they got the prettiest girl in the bar, or how they got into a huge fight. Even when I knew that the girl was not that attractive and the fight was just two drunk guys, you let them have their big moments and agree to seeing everything (that the girls was a model and that he kicked everyone's butt). 


First, gaming groups. I'm on a college campus, so we've got clubs for League of Legends, Smash Bros, (insert game of your choice), etc. Finding groups like that is a cool way to find people who share your interests, and I think you'd find them primarily in high schools and colleges. I haven't seen the grad life yet, so I can't speak for the post-college thing.

Second, you can meet other gamers by going where gamers go. I'm mainly a console gamer, but like many gamers, I've found that I like a wide variety of games. I've gone to a few Friday Night Magic events and met some really cool people. Things like comic-cons, pre-release events, and basically anything else that gamers would show up to are good places to show up. Ultimately, even if you don't meet anyone, you'll still have fun because it's a thing you enjoy.

Lastly, you've got to do more than game. If you met someone who did nothing but farm beets, well then you would have met Dwight Schrute. Not a lot of people want to be friends with someone who is one dimensional. I think it's important for people to cultivate a variety of interests, so that they're not a Dwight. It helps if these things are more social activities, but ultimately it comes down to something you enjoy. These new activities become ways for them to meet new people, or to translate your gamer friends into long-term friends. If you want to help your gamer friend here, offer to try new things with him/her. Often times, the hardest thing is taking the first steps to do something, and you can help pull other people out of their shells by doing things with them. 



Post are edited for clarity. 

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.