People Share Something Their Significant Other Hid From Them Until Later In The Relationship.
They say some secrets are better kept untold. However, for most lasting relationships, there needs to be a level of trust, honesty, and transparency that is established between the two. The following AskReddit thread asked couples about secrets they chose to keep from each other until later in the relationship. From some pretty silly stuff to deeply personal matters, get ready to enjoy the list of responses we've compiled.
Source list available at the end.
When I first realized I was in love with my husband, I was kind of terrified. To get myself less nervous about saying those "three big words," I would whisper them to him when he fell asleep. He almost always fell asleep first. I eventually said them to his face while we were both conscious. He told me a month later that he was sick of pretending, but he had terrible insomnia. He would pretend to fall asleep, wait until I was asleep, and then get out of bed again. Meaning all of those whispered, "I love yous" weren't nearly as secret as I thought.
My wife didn't know until 3 years into our marriage that I once used to worked as a ballon animal guy in a Mexican restaurant. It came up in conversation one day, and she commented on how dorky those guys are. I went to the storage closet, got out my balloons, and made her a dragon. She almost pissed herself laughing.
He had been sexually abused by an older male cousin when he was very young. This finally explained why he could never have an orgasm during a BJ.
This is a story that came up at my grandmother's funeral, so it's obviously not about me. My grandparents met teaching at a school, and my grandmother needed a lift to work everyday. She saw an attractive man, who was my grandfather, and asked him if he would do so. He kept making up excuses, but she was persistent. Eventually, he agreed because he found out they lived down the street from each other, but it was under the condition that she make him a sandwich for lunch as payment for the lift to work.
She agreed and my grandfather was treated to the best sandwiches of his life. They met in September, started dating in October, and were engaged in December, then married in April.
Once they were married, they moved to another town. This is when the sandwiches stopped being made. My grandfather was like, "Where are those amazing sandwiches?" and that's when he found out that my grandmother absolutely hated making sandwiches, and it had been her mother making them this whole time. They were married for almost 54 years, and she never made another sandwich again.
The whole reason I got to know him was based on the sweetest lie. We met in a game store where I played Warmachine (a miniature game) once a week. I was just getting to know the local player base, and he and I played a couple of games together. Through our conversations and hanging out while playing the game, we developed a friendship and eventually started dating.
Seven years later, and we've been married for three. I only just recently found out that he had never even played Warmachine before I had met him. He saw me come in to play the game, impulse-bought someone's old painted army, and learned the game (plus current talking points) before I could come in again the following week. He pretended to be interested in it for years before he finally told me the truth. He hated that game, hated the aesthetic, hated the minis, and hated the engine, but he knew that I loved it, so he put up with it for so long.
We were engaged for awhile. We started looking for an apartment after a few years together. We were filling out the applications when she suddenly stopped, became distant, and cried a lot. I thought it had something to do with me. She told me she had to tell me something, and it was really bad. Mentally, I was already packing my bags.
It turns out, in college she had gotten into a fight and was charged with assault, but it was later dropped.
She was afraid that we wouldn't be able to get the apartment. We've got two kids now, so it worked out.
He told me six months after we had sex that he was a virgin before me. We are married now.
His drug addiction. I knew something was up, but he did a great job hiding it. I thought maybe he was cheating on me. He kind of was... just with drugs. Thankfully, he's been clean for two and a half years now.
She waited 3 months after we were married to tell me that she was asexual. She told me that she hated sex and being touched. She only had sex with me before so we could get married. Yeah, that kind of killed the marriage. Starting a relationship based on a lie is probably a bad idea.
The surprisingly substantial amount of inheritance that would be coming in a family will.
He waited 3 years before I knew he was REALLY into Magic the Gathering.
When we started dating, the NHL was on strike. I was so devastated. I never mentioned hockey for the whole year. One day, she came home and found me wearing my jersey with a case of beer watching the game. The look on her face was priceless because she had no idea I was into sports at all.
Ten years later, and she has a favorite team of her own and loves hockey.
She hides fruit snacks around the house so I can't have any.
The fact that she's a complete slob.
I used to work at a coffee bar at a grocery store when I met him. He'd come in every day to order a chai from me. The first time he came in, I didn't know how to make one, so I just yelled back into the kitchen for help. They yelled back, "Just steam the mix and add milk." I did that, not realizing that the milk should have been steamed as well. I basically gave him a slightly less than lukewarm chai, which he proceeded to take home and microwave. He did this every day for 8 months before we hooked up, and I continued to make it wrong every time because he never told me. It wasn't until 2 years later that he revealed this to me. I was so mad (jokingly). It has now been 9 years, and we've been married for almost 2.
When she was in HS/college, her parents flat out refused to help her navigate her student loan process, which led to her signing up for borderline predatory private loans, which led to relying on credit cards to pay a lot of her bills because every dime she had was going to loan payments. I knew she had a lot of debt, but we got engaged about a month ago, and we were in the "laying our cards on the table" step of preparing to get married, so I got my first peek at her accounts ever. Damn.
In no way did it affect my decision to marry her, but if I had known this, I would have offered to pick up a few more tabs/bills.
She'd been arrested 13 times. We were 16.
I found out that my wife is a former cult member.
Her good guy friend that she was hanging out with all of the time whom she claimed was "just a friend" was actually her ex-boyfriend, ex-friends with benefits, and ex-baby daddy.
Needless to say, she's my ex now.
How gosh darn ticklish he is. He's a giant bearded man who works construction for a living and rides a Harley, but he is one of the most gentle and kindest people I know. I never suspected he was ticklish until one day I brushed his armpit, and he started giggling uncontrollably. At that point, we had already been dating for about a year.
He's a big Guns N' Roses fan and also speaks fluent Spanish. I found both of these things out years after we got married.
For over 6 years, we both hid the fact that we were bisexual. Once it was out in the open, our marriage flourished. We've been together for almost 30 years.
When he moved in with me, he brought along a couple of bags and a ton of boxes. The boxes all had Lego in them. Turns out, he was a Lego artist. I got into it too, and we build Lego furniture together sometimes.
I was always wondering why my S/O was so sensitive when it came to her lower belly. She didn't want to be touched there. Neither did she want to ever show it if it could be avoided. At first, I thought it was a typical thing where girls feel like they are too fat. Only after about one and a half years into the relationship did she tell me about how her father used to physically abuse her by punching her in the stomach area and say, "I hope this will make you unable to reproduce because you are a shame to our family." Obviously, I was in shock and we both cried for sometime. In the end, her telling me not only gave me a better understanding of her fears and brought us closer together, but it also made me much more aware of signs of trauma in general.
As of right now, she's much more confident about it. Of course, I respect her privacy when it comes to that area in her life.
About 7 years ago, I was playing with my daughter using some bouncy balls (she would have been around 7-years-old back then), and I started juggling them, which amazed her. My wife poked her head over the upstairs banister and was like, "Holy smokes, you can juggle?" We've been married for 22 years.
She was much more uptight than she led me to believe. Evidently, she had been going through hell trying to make me believe that she was laid-back and easygoing.
I hid that my hangout night with a few of my friends was actually Dungeons and Dragons. I wasn't so much hiding it from her as she never really asked me what we were doing. We had a really important session coming up, and she wanted to do something. I said that I felt pretty obligated to go and told her all about it. Turns out, she had always been interested in playing. She ended up joining us, and she was pretty great.
He has a scar on his stomach. He told me a kid stabbed him when he was little, but it was actually a medical procedure he had done when he was younger. I have no idea why he lied about it when we met. I still make fun of him for it. I mean stabbings don't impress me.
Post are edited for clarity.
When you're a kid most adults will tell you one thing or another is "cool" and "fun." Odds are you're too young to form any kind of opinion on the matter one way or another. You're a kid, right? You don't know what you're eating for breakfast. However, when you get older and form that larger worldview, you realize that yeah, maybe that one time when you were a kid actually wasn't fun.
These are those stories.