People Share The Most Toxic Communities They've Been A Part Of.
I'm learning to steer clear of anything or anyone that rubs me the wrong way. I mean we've got intuition for a reason - right? I'd encourage you all to try your best and avoid these kinds of situations too, life's too short to be caught up in anything that doesn't bring you peace. Positive Vibes Only.
The following Ask Redditors shared their responses to the question, "What is/was the most toxic community you've been a part of? "
Interested in more responses, check out the original thread at the end of the article.
I was in inpatient treatment for anorexia a few years ago, and the level of subtle competition between patients to be "the sickest" was ridiculous.
We periodically had to go around in group to answer various prompts given by the therapist, and it was like everyone carefully crafted their response to appear the most desperately ill of the lot. Jenny says she's couldn't eat sweets because she's afraid of sugar? Then you better bet Molly was afraid of fruits because of their sugar content and Amy water fasted for 20 days because all foods have sugar and that was so terrifying she couldn't eat anything. One girl puts down her fork in dinner and starts crying because she can't handle eating anything else? At least 4 other girls are going to do the same. Then, of course the constant game of "who's been hospitalized the most number of times" because for some sick reason that's a sign of superiority. God only knows what it would have been like if we were allowed to discuss weight.
I can understand having a difficult time some days, I certainly did, but I kept that shit to myself and ate my nasty ass cafeteria food so I could get hell out of there ASAP. After I was discharged, my therapist kept wanting me to go to group therapy and I refused, couldn't deal with more obnoxious women trying so hard to be sick.
The athletics department at my high school was rife with egotistical parents who all thought their little Johnny should be getting a Destination Imagination scholarship. Problem was, nobody at our school was really worth a D.I scholarship. So naturally the blame always fell on the coaches. We once had a parent at a football game (also the wife of a SCHOOL BOARD MEMBER!) drunkenly threaten to murder the A.D. and the football coach by dragging them by a chain tied to the back of a pickup truck.
Turnover was crazy, and usually the best coaches were the ones to go quickest. My favorite coach was a graduate of the school and spent close to fifteen years coaching the baseball team. He put his heart and soul into that team, yet he got the axe after I graduated because a bunch of jerk parents with influence hated him because they all thought their kids were simply God's gift to baseball. We've developed such a bad reputation that other towns' papers openly talk about how bad we are with coaches. The only people who will come here now are grads and folks with no other place to go. It sickens me because it leads to a lot of stress and heartbreak for the kids and that's NOT what youth sports is supposed to be about.
I just wanted to debate stuff, I didn't realize that a prerequisite for being involved in student debating is being literally the worst people ever.
Theatre programs in any mid-market city.
About 20 years ago college art programs discovered they could get free labour by offering courses in theatre production.
So now you end up with 100's of grads from every crappy town around moving into the closest city with a handful of professional companies and knifing everyone in the back to get and keep contracts for a handful of jobs.
If one of them gets control of hiring for a company they'll get rid of anyone good and hire incompetent non-threatening friends.
I've watched dozens of great companies die that way.
I am transgender. Before that, I thought I was just a crossdresser. That community is filled with people who fetishize it. At the time I just thought "I just like wearing women's clothes and looking pretty, don't make creepy comments about it and don't act like we're girlfriends. Also stop signing posts with your crossdressing name, this isn't a letter."
Anyway, jump forward a bit and I come to terms with being trans. A lot of trans communities are just a pool of "cis people aren't smart" and "am I doing the right thing" and "another trans person was murdered today." The positive topic in that community are like "boobs are cool" and "no one notices I am trans any more." Other than that the community just makes you feel like crap. So I just decided to stop associating with them. Like I identitfy as a woman. Not a TRANSwoman. I do not care about transpride or anything like that, just being able to be myself and comfortable is much better than associating with people who think the world is out to get them.
Babycenter. I went for advice when I was a terrified college kid expecting my first baby, eventually left because they're (generally) a bunch of sanctimonious, judgy jerks.
When I was a teen I went through a Goth phase and found some online people who had similar interests. Unfortunately this particular group really encouraged self harm, not seeking help for depression, and over all glamorized suffering from mental illnesses. Think pro-ana but with self harm.
I don't want to know how many people from that group ended up committing suicide.
Thankfully that site/forum isn't in operation any more and I haven't self harmed in over decade. Best thing I did was leave that site.
I'm gonna have the guts to say... some widow groups. Specifically, military widows. I am a veteran and the widow of a fallen soldier. He died active duty, but not in combat. These groups often inquire quickly about the circumstance of the death, how much money did you get, will you quit the army now and take care of your kids. It was legit, a pissing contest. Whose experience has been tougher. They go to every event possible to be paraded around and in a horrible person for saying...I think it creates a type of, "professional widow." I went to several lunch events where I was embarrassed to be there. Many were rude to wait staff and often I was criticized for having goals outside of the home. I cut ties and have handled my recovery through private counselling, healthy habits and genuinely accepting that bad stuff happens to everyone. That doesn't make me a fairy who is owed anything.
Working at Wal-Mart. Almost everyone there is a terrible person, from the management who yells at you because you won't do other people's jobs in addition to yours, to the customers who have a complete mental breakdown, because we are out of coffee creamer. It's just a place of negativity and hatred.
Tumblr. I didn't realize how toxic it was when I used it but damn. I'm almost sure I developed mental issues because of Tumblr.
Any community that revolves around hating certain groups of people. These people spend their free time just looking for things to post and go "haha, look at this person that's doing that thing that doesn't affect me in the slightest".
I used to lurk this forum called Guru Gossiper, it's just a bunch of people obsessed with trash talking YouTubers, particularly beauty gurus. I stopped reading once I realized it only made me mad to see how intense those people were about other people's lives.
I was a band director for a decade. I'll always be passionate about the importance of the arts in school, but these people think they're martyrs for the cause or something. They're anti sports and often look down on kids who choose sports instead of music. They think the rest of the school should bow down to them. They think the arts are more important than anything else in school. Also, most of the ones around here are divorced or never married because they're so absorbed in being a respected band director that it's all they do. It's kind of sad.
Probably Runescape. Nothing else in my life has taught me "don't trust anybody" like Runescape has. There's also just so much unnecessary jerk behaviour in the wider community, be it Youtube, Twitch or the forums on Reddit.
That said I've also met dozens of awesome people on the game so it's not all bad.
I'm a former manager of political campaigns, political parties and specifically people who define themselves by a political affiliation as if it's the only personality distinction that matters.
I get the draw... you make yourself part of something bigger. But,for crying out loud the group-think and disdain for others. It hurts.
I want to unplug everyone from both social and traditional media and force them out of their echo chambers to actually talk with their neighbors for once. And I'm the one milking the strongest polling issues to get someone elected. I don't want to, but divisiveness works as an identity system for the lazy and unhinged. Congress and well, Trump is what you get for it.
Go outside. Have a conversation with a neighbor. Think critically. Care. Please.
Had my group of friends so that was nice, but a lot of folks loved being martyrs cause 'they worked SO hard' and have 'SO much debt.' Yes there are legit concerns about mental health and debt in medical school, but the loudest folks were not the ones who were experiencing this.
Then there was the passive aggressive studying competition:
'Oh you studied till midnight? Wow yeah I only slept 3 hours cause I was up later.' 'Oh you it's so bad. I haven't slept in seven weeks cause of studying' 'I know right guys? I've never slept in my life cause studying'
Shut up. All of you shut up.
I'm so glad I graduated years ago.
Not only do they hate dubbed anime they think that dubbed anime should not exist, I like dubbed anime, but NEVER mention that online otherwise you receive a storm of abuse about it.
Why is having the option of a dub such a bad thing? Its not as if they are losing something if a show is dubbed, if anything its a good thing as it gives people more options.
They are really, truly amazing people. But for the love of God there are some pretentious jerks. "We're too good to play at that place" or "we don't do open mics". It's always great to meet a band that is too talented to play music.
And if you're in a working cover band, you might as well be a serial killer in their eyes. I'll split four hundred bucks for three hours of playing someone else's music over splitting zero dollars for sitting in a basement writing crappy songs no one wants to hear with my 'band' any day.
The other groups or performers that get paid enough to live on or just play out a lot for extra cash always seem to be relaxed and kind to everyone.
I'm a teenager so probably that.
Disclaim: Article posts may be edited for clarity.
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.