People Share The Weirdest Thing They've Overheard From A Loud Neighbour.
People on Reddit with noisy neighbors were asked: "What's the most interesting thing you've overheard?" These are some of the best answers.
1/22 "Man... if we do anymore ice we'll be up for at least another 8 hours". These guys had been up for a few days already so I figured they chose more ice.
2/22 My neighbors constantly chant "USA! USA!" whenever they party. This is weird because we live in Canada.
3/22 Had a couple that moved in next door. Good couple, talked a few times. They had been together for 6 years, both worked odd hours. I shared a wall with their bedroom and mine. First 4 weeks, it was just constant sex between 7pm to 2am, every Wednesday night. Finally, I decided to say something about it because the screaming and moaning was disrupting my sleep schedule. It's all fun except when she's screaming so loud that it overcomes my tv's volume in the living room. So I stopped the guy on Friday and told him that sex is all fun and games, but he needs to keep his woman quiet after 11pm, especially on Wednesday during the middle of the week. It's apartment rules and sh*t. The guy looks at me and says "I work night shifts from 6pm to 6am Wednesdays."
Two weeks later they moved out, separately.
4/22 My deaf lady neighbor getting plowed a couple times. This was about 20 years ago, and it's still the hottest thing I ever heard.
5/22 Living in a "rough"/ bogan area of Australia, (if there is such a thing), I over heard "Mum, is the toilet working again?" "Nah mate, just go into the backyard" "But I don't want to piss on the tree again" "Wot? You think you're too good for the tree?"
This went on for 10 minutes. Dude ended up pissing on a tree.
6/22 My neighbor is deaf, but still screams at his kids. So that's pretty weird because as soon as they walk away they usually yell all the things you shouldn't yell at your parents, like "you f*ckwad"
Quite an interesting bunch, they are.
7/22 My neighbour, a sweet young student, is laughing like a hyena. While this is tolerable most of the time it gets kinda weird when she is timing her laugh with me doing stupid sh*t at home. I once ran face first into the door frame and she started laughing so hard - creeped me the f*ck out.
8/22 We lived above a woman who would sing at a few bars around town. One night I came home from work (around 2am) and thought I could hear her having a party. She would often have friends over and just perform for them? Anyway, I opened the window because it was a warm night and I could hear obvious sex noises and her voice: "yeah f*ck that p*ssy!" Followed by obedient grunts.
Naturally I woke my wife up because this was hilarious. We got back to the window and heard a guys voice: "Oh yeah, I just came", followed by another man's voice, "You sure did, buddy!" This was followed by a second female's voice - "My turn to get f*cked" Anyway, there's nothing erotic about these phrases uttered in broad Australian accents so we couldn't even get off to it. She's also a sh*tty singer.
9/22 While sitting on my front porch couch drinking a beer: "B*tch come back here! Come back here!" "No! You hit me!" "B*tch I hit you because I love you!"
I need to move.
10/22 Early morning, I'm outside by the fence having my coffee. These guys are obviously still rolling from the night before.
"...so remember when Kizza had surgery on his dick and now he can piss for, like, eight miles?!" I'm intrigued.
11/22 Two women who live next door were arguing (I assume?). I am not sure of their relationship because several people live in the house. The older woman walked into the backyard, lit a cigarette and started screaming into the house, "THAT'S F*CKING WITCHCRAFT! WITCHCRAFT! F*CKING WITCHCRAFT!"
I heard an indistinct voice from inside. The smoker screeched again, "IT'S WITCHCRAAAAAFT!"
About two minutes later I heard the shower turn on and the other lady started singing the damn song from Frozen in a rather pretty voice. Witchcraft?
12/22 I was in a townhouse in college. My neighbors were having a late-night party and I was trying to sleep. Suddenly, female guest screams, "Some guys like it when I lick their a**hole!"
13/22 My mom and I live on the fifth floor of an apartment building, and she sometimes has to work really late. Well the elevator happened to be broken so she had to take the stairs. Mind you, these walls are thinner than paper, we hear everything. So around the third floor, she hears someone shouting "Yeeeaaaa!!!!! YEEEEEEEAAAAAA TAKE IT UP THE A**!!". There was various banging noises and moaning along with it. She got to our apartment and was laughing so hard she was crying.
14/22 Screaming. Like violent, ridiculous "I'm beating my spouse" screaming: "YOU F*CKER! I'LL F*CKING KILL YOU!!! YOU STUPID PIECE OF SH*T!" This went on for ten full minutes. My whole family was on the back deck listening by the end, ready to call the cops. We thought this guy was going to f*cking murder his wife and kids.
Then we hear "F*CKING SPIDERS, AAAUUUGHHH!" Someone really, really hated spiders, I guess. Enough to alarm the entire neighbourhood.
15/22 I lived in a not great neighborhood in college, but there were a lot of families around. We shared a fence with a family with a few boys, all seemingly spaced out in age. One time, the oldest kid was playing basketball with the middle kid, and he yelled at this little kid "WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT BASKETBALL?!", to which the younger kid responded, with gusto, "I'm 8!".
I about fell out of my chair.
16/22 After hearing the couple next to me yell for a couple hours sometime around midnight I hear,"Our neighbour [me] is probably trying to sleep and you keep yelling." Followed by a resounding "I DONT GIVE A SH*T!" They're some of my good friends but man that hurt my feelings :(
17/22 Two neighbours going at it like rabbits. The female participant was especially loud. It was the middle of a humid summer and we live in a place where almost nobody has A/C in their house, so everyone in the neighbourhood probably had their windows open.
Finally we hear another disgruntled neighbour scream from another house "Oh for f*ck's sake just shove it in her mouth and shut her up!"
18/22 I overheard my neighbors just a couple days after I moved in and I immediately felt bad for the child. He had just got home from school, he looks like he's about 14 and his father won't let him have a key. I heard "F*ck! " And then some loud stomping and then "I told you not to let that b*tch drive you home!" Then there was a meager "I walked."
And that's how I learned they were dealing with a nasty divorce.
19/22 Lived in a duplex for a bit next to some semi-attractive women in their mid twenties. My roommate and I got invited over multiple times, but always politely declined. One night they both bring guys home from the bar and are going at it, headboard slamming against the wall, moans and grunts, the whole thing. After a while, I hear one of the guys say "Yo! Ready to switch it up?" To which the other guy responds "Hell yeah!" There's a 2 minute pause, and the banging resumes.
20/22 When I had an apartment, my bathroom shared a wall with my neighbor's bathroom. Suddenly, I hear a woman scream "OH MY GOD! I'm not pregnant!". This was followed by a man shouting "YES!".
I wish I would have thought to join in the celebration through the wall.
21/22 One time I overheard my neighbors doing an exorcism on their twenty-something year old son. They trying to cast awau sloth and lust demons because he had gotten fired from his minimum wage job and they caught him masturbating during work hours. There was chanting, incense and a Catholic priest involved. The parents were crying and their son seemed to be playing along. I never saw my neighbors the same way again.
22/22 Our neighbors next door have two young children, I'd say the boy is 3 at most, while the girl is 6. Their mother is constantly yelling at them like it's her job, mostly at the boy. And the father never seems to be there much because of his job. One day, she was yelling up a storm, same as usual, but then, over top of sounds of the boy crying, she drops "This is why your father works so much, and I don't blame him!" Yeah, great parenting, lady.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"