People Share The Worst Thing A Trusted Guest Has Done In Their House.

From peeing in the kitchen sink, to setting the living room on fire, people share the worst thing a guest has done in their house. 

[Source can be found at the end of the article]

There was this kid who lived around the block that would come over sometimes. Well one day he found some lemonade mix and decided the best thing to do with it was to dump it all on the ground, use the sink nozzle to get the floor wet, and turn the kitchen into a "skating rink". Why the lemonade mix was necessary I have no idea, but that was a really fun day until my parents came home.


My parents bought a full sized terracotta soldier that they had shipped home when they were visiting China. About a year later when my parents weren't home, my grandpa painted it solid gray because he though it looked worn and dated.


This was at my grandmothers funeral. She was a well known lady so many people came to her funeral. What happened while we were all grieving was a bunch of people decided to steal a whole bunch of random stuff. All our plates, cups, cooking utensils, bags of rice, medicine, etc. All Gone.


After my mum passed away her elderly friend came to visit. She asked me for wine. She pounded back four glasses. Then she whipped out a handful of sleeping pills and downed those. I freaked out. She said she did it 'all the time'. She then proceeded to fall off the chair. She tried going upstairs and started to fall. I caught her and half carried her to bed. I heard her fall hard on the floor. She was laughing and delirious (she was 74). I wanted to call an ambulance but she flat out refused. I put her back in bed. Rinse and repeat three times. The next morning I asked if she had other friends she could stay with. I drove her to them.


Almost every time my mom came to my house she did something messed up. She would break things, or decide something needed fixing and call up whatever repair or service person was and then just present me with the bill when I came home from work. She flooded my kitchen once, which leaked out all over my living room and warped my hardwood floors. I came home once and she had repainted my kitchen. But the worst was when she left candles burning and we woke up to my living room in flames. Almost killed us both.

I live in Asia now. In a small studio apartment. So even when she comes to Asia (which has only happened once so far), she can't stay in my home.


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When I was in high school I was having a party at my parent's house when they were out of town. My buddy was not feeling well and really needed to take a dump. Apparently all of the bathrooms were occupied at the time of the emergency so he ran into the garage, pulled his pants down, and defecated all over the garage floor.


When I was young I was in Cub Scouts, and we decided to build all our Pinewood Derby cars at my house one year. So my whole little crew comes over, including this kinda weird dude named Ricky. After about an hour of building, Ricky goes into the bathroom for like an hour, and then leaves the bathroom, says goodbye without slowing down and walks out the front door and gets picked up by his dad outside. My Dad was kind of like What…? so he goes and looks at the bathroom. There was tiny little poop fingerprints on literally every surface of our bathroom. Like seat, handle, toilet paper, walls, sink handles, SOAP BAR, everything. And yes we had to clean all that up.


Had a party with 8 friends. After they left I went to the hall bath and noticed the hand towel missing. I looked on the floor and noticed poop smeared into the grout, then I looked at the toilet and realized poop was smeared in swirls all over the side of the toilet closest to the wall. I don't know what happened and never did find the hand towel.


We had a house guest staying for a week while he interviewed for jobs in our area. He was told that there was just one major house rule:

"Do NOT let our cat outside. He's an indoor cat only and has never been outdoors on his own."

Well, we came home from work one day that week and found that he had left the sliding glass door and screen to the deck open while he went for a walk.

The cat was gone - nowhere to be seen. We searched the neighborhood and enlisted our friends to help. Our beloved pet was missing, and the house guest couldn't understand why it was "such a big deal.

At that point, I told him that our cat meant more to us by far than his so-called friendship — and out he went, not to return.

Miraculously, long after we had given up hope, one day Mr. Kitty returned - sitting on the deck, "meowing" through the screen door!


We have a backup key hidden somewhere outside the house. Once, my sister locked herself out while with some friends, so she got the backup key and so her friends knew where the key was hidden. Flash forward some time and we are coming home after going on vacation, and we find our house was broken into. Nothing was stolen but all the furniture was flipped upside down. Turns out my sister's friends did it as a prank. In retrospect it is fairly funny but my parents flipped out over it.


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I had a friend that spent the night over at my house when I was 9. She accidentally defecated in her pants overnight but instead of going to the bathroom, she just took her underwear off and threw it under my bed. After she left, my mom told me my room smelled terrible and she couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Eventually, we found her dirty poopy panties under my bed. After that, she was no longer allowed to stay over.

Eventually she invited me to her place for a sleepover. Since she only had one bed, we had to share it. I woke up in the middle of the night, soaking wet and freezing cold because she had wet the bed and me. I had to lay in that bed all night, just hoping that morning would come soon so I could get up and take a bath.


Friend living in Europe came to US to visit family. Her husband was here for a couple of weeks but went back to Europe for work while she stayed with us for the summer. Unbeknownst to us, she had stopped taking her medications, and started racking up long distance phone calls to Europe in the middle of the night/early morning to talk to her husband. But if she called his office, and he wasn't there, she would just ask to be put on hold until he returned to the office.

Received a $3000 phone bill and realized what had happened. Thankfully, our phone company at the time listened to my story, and agreed not only to set us up with an international plan to call Europe cheaply, but they made it retroactive to when she started staying with us. $3000 became less than $200.


A girl came over during a party - she'd obviously had a few drinks. first she tried making out with me, which i'm generally in favour of, but she was trashed and could hardly walk so we set her on a couch. She didn't stay there though - she took one of the hockey sweaters I hang on the wall, put it on, and sat on the floor, banging her hands and singing to whatever song was on. it was obnoxious, but harmless, and "thankfully" she stopped because a few minutes later, she pukes all over my sweater, herself, and the floor. Not great.

We get her to the bathroom, where she promptly passes out. Which is generally a good spot to do so, except when it's 10pm and people are still coming over, and there's one bathroom in the place. We eventually just unlock the door, find her sleeping naked in the bathtub, in her own puke. Happy, thanking us for inviting her, etc.

We left her there, drew the shower curtain, and she either passed out or got to hear everyone piss for the night. She woke up at around 4am, and climbed into my bed, where I was blissfully sleeping - keyword, "was".

Had to call her a cab, and pay him up front because, shockingly, she lost everything she owns in someone's car. Then I got to throw my sheets and blankets in the laundry and sleep on the couch.

We're still friends, she's apologized plenty, but that wasn't a good night for her


Let a guy I knew from college stay in my house for a few months because he kept complaining about how his parents don't let him do anything and I figured one more person paying rent wouldn't hurt. When he moved out (with about a week's notice) I was forced to clean 8 months of stains from the wall where his desk used to be. No idea what the stains were. 


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Broke my toilet on the day of my wedding. It must have happened just before we left to have photos taken. When my new husband and I arrived home from the wedding, the toilet was broken and the floor was under an inch of water. It was not the wedding night we envisioned.


My two friends where at a party at my house this past Halloween. This was a brand new house with all new stuff in it. I noticed them go missing for a while and went to go check to make sure they were OK. I go to the room where we were keeping all the jackets and I notice the door is locked. I hear two people giggling, so normally I would think someone was hooking up or something but all the women were accounted for. So I get the keys out to open the door and the giggling gets louder and the second I unlock the door it quickly locks again. Then it happened - The ground starts rumbling and I hear kaboom!! these two idiots break down my door in my brand new house and I'm on the other side. I got crushed, I was also holding a beer which got smashed. These guys are going to be in my wedding party this year. They bought me a new door, and trim, and installed it all. My fiance didn't talk to them for weeks, AND she was mad at me too!


Years ago, my old housemate's mum came to visit. I'd just done a 14hr shift in the pub I was working in at the time. I came home to find her in the kitchen off her face, in her tights, surrounded by broken glass on the floor and eating my cereal from the bag. She'd smashed all the wine glasses. Housemate had passed out so had to deal with this wreck of a woman who I'd never met before.


My brother in law came to stay at my flat and bought his friend who didn't like dogs and was allergic to them. No problem, although I told him that is was the dogs home and he'd have to live with it but I'd try and keep the dog away from him as much as I could. I was in the kitchen and I heard him saying 'no, go away' so I guessed the dog was doing that thing that dogs do when faced with someone who doesn't like dogs - not leave them alone. I started to go in to the front room to grab the dog and I heard a heavy 'thunk' sound and my dog yelped and scooted past me. He had kicked my dog! I grabbed him by the front of his shirt, dragged him to the front door, threw him out and told him that he wasn't welcome in my home.


A teenage girl went camping with us in our trailer (she was a friend of my sister).

One morning, I go into the bathroom, grab a towel, open it up to use it, and a giant turd fell out of it onto the floor.

I guess she couldn't figure out how to flush the toilet, so she fished the turd out of the toilet, wrapped it in a towel, and put it back in the clean towel closet (because that is much more reasonable than asking for help flushing).

She denied it was her, but there was only the 4 of us in my family and her...


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When I was a kid me and my friends where over at a birthday party. We were playing hide and seek, and one of the kids peed in the kitchen sink because he had to go, but didn't want to reveal his location. None of us knew about it at the time, but later my parents got a phone call asking if I did it. My dad sat me down, and asked me straight up. I looked at him like he had three heads and said "No, I'm not 5." Then he laughed his butt off at the idea of some middle schooler peeing in someone's kitchen sink.


My girlfriends old friend was in town so he stayed with us. I already didn't trust him because he was a terrible alcoholic and was known to steal things. He stayed in her room and she slept in mine. Woke up at about 8:30 and he was gone. He pissed the bed, stole a vinyl of Elvis Presley's Moody Blue album from her wall (she had a limited edition black pressing) and we never heard from him again. He died a couple of months ago from heroin overdose.


In college I had my first one-night stand with a guy I kinda knew who, as it turned out, had a bit of a drinking problem. After the bar we went back to my place and hooked up, kinda, except he couldn't keep an erection and passed out mid-hook-up, so I just went to sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night to see him standing in front of my couch, his back to me, wobbling in that way that drunks do. Next thing I knew, he was full-on pissing on my couch like it was a urinal. Being 21 and not sure what to do, I just left my own apartment and crawled in bed with a friend down the street. I ran into that guy at the bar a few weeks later and he brought up that night - "Your bathroom in that apartment was so weird" - and I told him what really happened. Last I heard he was in AA.


I invited a cute guy I had just met to my first ever apartment housewarming party. He showed up with about 6 or 7 other people, including his girlfriend that I didn't know about. Then they all did acid and laid on the floor while the rest of us stood around trying to ignore them. I ended up throwing them all out.


My friends brought a friend of theirs to one of my Halloween parties. She stood and poured an entire can of cider on my parents' brand new carpet (I wasn't in the room as it happened, but a different friend came into my kitchen to tell me.)

I proceeded to move all alcoholic drinks away from her, because she must've been drunk, right? No sober person would pour alcohol onto someone else's carpet, right? Wrong.

She asked me why I took the drinks from her, and I told her "It's because you're drunk." and she then said "No I'm not." "Why did you pour cider onto my carpet then?" "Felt like it."

Let's just say that she was ejected from my home not too long after that. She goes to the same college as me, and since that party in 2015, I haven't spoken to her at all, then last Halloween, she was messaging me, asking why I didn't invite her to my house again.

I wish I could go back in time and remove her from my house before she even stepped into it.


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He brought two perturbed trash pandas inside my house. They went nuts and made a nest in my attic. This guy was always pulling that when he came to visit. This wasn't the worst example. Tried staging a youtube animal fight between a badger and a pack of ferrets in my bedroom.


Ok so this one time I had my best buddy from elementary and middle school down to visit me from out of state. Awesome dude, love having him around whenever I can. We went to visit my brother at his college dorm for some parties (friend and I are both ~21-22 at this point, brother and his friends are 18-19). We hit the bars downtown, get rip roared, and proceed to walk back to the dorms to crash on various couches. I stayed up 'till about 5am hanging out with one of the roommates because we'd had vodka and Redbull and sleep wasn't going to be possible for a bit. At right around 4:45 we hear running water, from the kitchen, and both wondered who was up. As we walk out into the kitchen we see out-of-state friend sleepily standing in front of the open refrigerator… peeing all over everything in there. I'm saying all over everything, full spray. Brothers roommate and I both simultaneously ask 'but why??!' the friend mumbles something and then goes unconscious. By far the worst thing done to anybody's place that I've seen personally.

In his defense, out-of-state friend replaced everything in the fridge and cleaned it out to the extreme before everyone else woke up the next day. Probably ended up cleaner than it had been in years. All of brothers friends say it's one of their favorite stories from college.


Someone at my house tried to increase the water pressure in the shower by twisting the little knob under the sink, which MAKES NO SENSE. So she did that, and water started leaking inside the walls and she caused serious water damage to the paint and wood in 3 rooms and 2 stories of our house. She knew it happened too, basically said "whoops," and never apologized either.


I had a house party in college that was broken up by the cops.

When the red and blue lights started flashing into the windows of my bedroom, where myself and probably 5 or 6 other folks were partaking in illicit drug use, this girl whom I do not know just dashes out of my room in a panic. She returns in an instant with a jar of my peanut butter and begins mashing her fingers into it and shoveling huge globs down her gullet. At this point, high on illicit drugs, I vividly remember yelling "what are you doing!" She can barely open her mouth or use her tongue because its so covered in my food as she explains to the whole crowd that eating peanut butter will beat a breathalyzer test... before tearing out back into the night — Ive never seen her again. The cops are super nice, just ask everyone to leave, and I wake up the next morning... which is when I see it.

This peanut butter girl cleaned her little claws all over my walls on her way out the house. There were streaks of peanut butter down the hall, down the stair well, and all over my couch by the front door, where my pillaged jar of peanut butter lay like a cowering victim by the welcome mat.

I am still betrayed.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.