People Who Lost Their Jobs On The First Day Share Their Stories.

Starting a new job is never easy. A brand new environment with new coworkers and tasks, it's safe to say that most people are at least a little bit nervous on their first day. The following AskReddit users were asked about a time when they were let go during the early stages of a new job. Get ready for some hilarious stories. 

Source list available at the end. 

I worked for a day at an Apple store.

The guys were incredible rude and talked down to me constantly even though it was a relatively simple job that I was hired to do. I had worked as head of a technology department previously, so I kind of knew what to expect going into the workplace as a female, but they were downright hateful.

The point of no return was when some of the guys asked my why I chose this job, and I explained that I was in a pretty terrible car crash and needed something closer to home until I recovered. One of my new coworkers, who was in a wheelchair, cut me off and said that he had also been in an accident and that I shouldn't be complaining since I still had my legs.

I apologized to him for the rest of the break and felt terrible. Then, I saw them all huddled together laughing, and he told me how he had made the whole thing up and that he was born that way and I was a baby for reacting the way that I did and for apologizing to him.

As I was leaving, I saw the manager ask the guys how things went. Wheelchair guy outright stated that, "I would be a massive failure and harmful to the workplace." The manager asked me if I really thought this was the right job for myself and that perhaps the pressure and the required knowledge skillset was too much to handle. This was literally a small store in the mall, and I chose this job for how simple it would be to get to.

I left and never went back. They never called me either. To this day, I figure they probably think that they broke me. I decided to work for a bank and have been on an amazing career path ever since.


I started working at a nursing home. All of the residents who have Alzheimers have to wear these bright orange reflective vests. They asked me how to get out. I showed them the door and held it open. I thought they were construction workers.


Applebees. I got high with one of the cooks, got sick, passed out in the restroom with the door locked, and woke up 3 hours after close. I opened the restroom door and set the alarm off. I had to wait on the front steps for the police and GM to show up.


This was back in 1984. I was 14, and it was my first job ever. So, I was feeling really proud. I was working at my favorite fast food joint (starts with M and ends in Donald). The fries where my favorite. I made my first batch ever and ate one of the fries in celebration. BOOM. I was terminated on the spot.

Apparently, it's forbidden to eat on the job. They were waiting for someone in the group to mess up, and I was the sacrificial lamb. No one told me, and I cried all the way home.


They thought the "bartender" part on my resume somehow meant "high-end chef," and they were befuddled when I couldn't carry out what they wanted me to do.


I had a job trial at some fancy restaurant when I was a teenager. I had never worked hospitality before, but I decided to give it a go. I was taking a tray of drinks out to a table. I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to balance everything without spilling anything. I started handing out the drinks. Being the young, dumb teenager that I was, I took all of the drinks off of one side of the tray. Obviously, the weight was offset and the rest of the drinks slid off the tray and went all over this lady. I'm talking rum and coke, beer, red wine, etc. I said that I was sorry, and she replied with, "You're sorry! I'm sorry that I ever came to this restaurant." Needless to say, I went to the boss and said that I was out, walked to my car, and drove home.


I got hired to work at a salon after college. There was also another girl that got hired with me. We went through the first day of training (maybe two, I can't remember), and everything seemed fine and dandy. We were both doing really well, the manager liked us, etc. The next day, I come in and we get started. The other girl is nowhere to be found. I figured she probably had something come up and couldn't make it, but then she wasn't there the next day either, and the owner asked me if I'd be willing to take on double the amount of hours. I eventually asked my manager what was up with the other girl and where was she. She just said, "Oh, it didn't work out."

I found out later that one of the stylists had recognized the girl from all of the times that she had broken into her (the stylist's) relative's house to do drugs, mess around with guys, and generally wreak havoc on all of their stuff. (It apparently happened several times and resulted in a pretty ridiculous amount of damage). It's safe to say, the owner didn't want to hand over a key and give this girl free reign over a salon filled with thousands of dollars worth of products and equipment.


My first job in high school. I was hired to work an ice cream stand/small fast food joint. The owner's 17-year-old son was supposed to train me. He didn't. 

Instead, he left me on my own and talked to his friends all day and would disappear for long periods of time. At the end of my shift, his father finally showed up. I told him that I needed someone around who would actually train me instead of leaving me to struggle- just as his son walked in.

His son looked at me and said, "She is cute enough, but I don't think she's working out." I told him to drop dead and I left. I never even got paid for that day either.


Years ago, I went to work at a Walmart. I was hired to work in the dry goods section (which is all of the stationary, cards, etc.) It was the first day of training and all of us were told that what we had been hired for had been changed, so we could either accept it or go to HR.

My section was changed to the loading dock (meaning I had to unload trucks) Having a bad back, I told her that I couldn't do it. I was not allowed to lift anything over 10 pounds, which was why I had chosen stationary in the first place. She informed me that the stationary section had gone to someone else the day before, so I got reassigned. When I told her I couldn't work the loading dock and the reason behind why, she asked me if it was doctor sanctioned. When I said yes, she fired me.


I started a temp job in Montana during the middle of winter. I was told it would be shovelling snow at a ski resort with vacation houses. I assumed it would be shovelling driveways or something. Turns out, I was working at various new construction projects digging out four-foot deep rock solid trenches of snow around the houses. I got yelled at all day for being to slow and had no access to water, was only given thin work gloves, and it was below zero all day. It was the longest and coldest day of my life. I wasn't planning on going back, but I was told that I wouldn't be needed the next day anyway. 


On my very first job, I got fired on the first day. I was 14 and got hired at Arbors Drugs, which is now known as CVS. I was a stock boy and half way through my shift, a bunch of my friends came in and started messing around the store. The cherry on top was that two of them were having a "walker" fight at the front near the registers. Well, it was quite obvious that I knew these lads because they kept on calling out to me every few minutes to watch them do something stupid. The manager came up to me and told me to take my friends and go play outside and to never come back again. My first paycheck was for $15 and some change.


Our new hires were instructed that the paint was still drying and not to touch it. I'll give you three guesses as to what one of them did next.


I was a host at a restaurant when I was around 16 or so. Now, the standard protocol when seating guests is to get them water with a slice of lemon immediately.

So, this middle-aged couple comes in. I seat them and go off to get them some water. As I put the lemon on the glasses (as per usual), my trainer tells me that they don't want lemon. So, I take the lemon off and bring them their waters.

A few minutes later, there is a huge commotion in the dining room. I look over, and the middle-aged woman's lips are all blown up and swollen. She is holding ice cubes on them and is visibly upset.

The next day, I call in to get my hours and am told, "Ahh, yeah, we don't need you anymore."


I lied about knowing how to drive a forklift with the assumption that I would be getting retrained on the job.


I hooked a friend up with a job at one of our stores. On the very first day she said, "This isn't for me. I think I'd fit more into a management setting." (This was her first hour in) For the rest of the day, she wasn't very enthusiastic about anything. My coworker told her not to come back and asked me, "What the hell?" I quickly apologized and now have a rule where I don't hire family or friends.


I fired some guy during his second hour in when he deleted the project folder he was hired to work on. It was as I was watching his screen explaining everything, and he still denied doing it three times after. (We had a backup because of the server cache, so it was no problem, but the lying was the issue).

"Peter, did you just delete the project folder?"


"But, I just saw you confirming that you wanted to delete the files..."

"No I didn't."

"Dude, no need to worry. I can recover it if we act now?"

"Man, I didn't do it."

"Peter, you denied me three times. Get out of the chair."

I recovered the files, recorded what he had done in the work logs, and called HR to not sign his employment record book. I also got the nickname "Backup Jesus" from a male coworker who had overheard the exchange.


I know a guy who literally took out his college textbooks and studied while our boss was training him.


It wasn't on the first day, but rather the last day of training. It was for a credit union, and the first week was spent in a classroom-type setting to learn the ropes before the second week where we would spend it in the branches shadowing someone else. Let me preface this by saying, I am a great worker in customer service- even though I don't particularly like people. I am also a very serious student.

During the classroom part, I answered questions and focused on trying to learn as much as possible, but the training lady seemed to think that I wasn't "fun" enough or "personable" enough. At the end of the first week, I was talked to and I guess "warned" about this fact. I told them that I had a much different persona when I'm actually working with customers, but that I was there to learn as much as I could (so that I wouldn't mess up in the next week). By the end of the first week of training, I was already at a disadvantage apparently. For what it's worth, I didn't think I was any less happy-seeming that the other trainees.

On the Wednesday and Thursday of the second week, I had apparently clocked in a few minutes late. (I was there on time, but you had to sign in to your computer and load up the program. However, sometimes other people would be talking to you, and it would take longer). That Friday morning- on the last day of training, I was stopped by a train on my way to the branch. I called to let them know. I worked a window for basically the entire day, until about 2pm, when they asked me to step into one of the offices. The training lady and the branch manager were there, and they told me that I didn't have to right material to stick around, gave me a check for my two-weeks of training, and sent me on my way. I had never been "fired" from a job before. It was a weird couple of weeks.


On a trial shift as a waitress, I dropped a tray with three wine bottles and twelve glasses. Everything shattered around me. On the same night, I dropped a fork. It ended up hitting a woman in the face before landing in her lap. 


My boyfriend's friend was hired for a desk job with my boyfriend. On his first day, they fired him for wearing the wrong colored shirt.

We never told him this, but we both knew why they had actually hired him. It was because they needed to meet a quota of employees who had a disability. They fired him because they had already met that quota, and now they didn't want a guy that could cry in the corner if he had a time limit.


Day one on my internship at an amazing design agency in SF, and they had to send me home because the school didn't give me proper authorization as an international student. I came in, got introduced to everyone, and was already pretty excited about all of the cool projects planned for the week. Suddenly, HR from the New York office gave me a call and told me to leave immediately because I wasn't allowed to work with them. I remember just feeling numb after that. I had to leave all of the awesome swag that I had just received earlier behind. I just felt so drained for the rest of the week, and I still feel gutted thinking about it!


Not me, but I saw the entire thing. I work at a family-owned restaurant, and we hired a cook that was being trained by a manager. He was obviously high on something, kept backing into things, didn't know what cole slaw was, and poured all-purpose batter into the mashed potatoes, and then looked down and said, "That's not mashed potatoes..." Not to mention, he kept on interrupting the manager, asked very unimportant questions, would pick things up and say, "What are these for?" He was taken into the back and informed that he was the worst cook we had ever had. He responded with, "The kitchen is usually where I shine!" It's still a running joke here.


I started working in the same office as my wife. We weren't married back then. One of her co-workers said they were uncomfortable around me, so I was fired the next day since I was a contractor and not a permanent employee. 



Post are edited for clarity. 

Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.