People Who Thought They Were In The Perfect Relationship Reveal What Ended It.
Sometimes "happily ever after" doesn't quite last as long as thought. For some people in some relationships, "forever" has an unfortunate expiry date that has nothing to do with death or illness. We all hope that our current relationship will be "the one" but then reality strikes.
People on Reddit were asked: "What ended the relationship you thought would last forever?" These are some of the saddest answers.
She just didn't come home one night. Everything was pretty fine up until then. She went to party at a friends', and said she was coming home that night. Heard nothing. Walked all the way to the transit center looking for her in the middle of the night. Nothing. Eventually she called the next morning and said she'd be home the next day. I kinda knew something was up, but I never really pressed it.
She finally came home and she just seemed like a completely different person. Really cold, not affectionate, didn't want to be around me. Eventually got tired of it and asked her point blank what her deal was, and she admitted she cheated on me. Instead of being mature about it, she told me it was because I was going nowhere in life, because I worked a dead-end job with no desire to work somewhere better, and I wasn't going to college. Keep in mind this is during the economic downturn of 2008-2009, so finding a better job is risky, not likely to pay much, and I was spending all my time working my butt off to support us, so I couldn't go to college. Because she didn't want to get a job.
The whole thing pretty much turned me off of relationships for a good 5 years after. I had flings and such but wasn't really interested in anything serious.
When I feel like I'm putting in more effort then she is. I don't chase women any more. Women who actually want to spend time with you and put forth as much effort as you are much more fulfilling relationships.
Him starting to cheat 3 days after he proposed. Then he decided the best time to tell me he was unhappy when I told him I was pregnant. For a planned baby. 'I guess I'm stuck with you' will forever be burned in my mind.
He topped it off by dumping me 13 days after my miscarriage.
I'm better off but that has left deep scars.
I was married 18 years. The first 10 years were good to excellent. Then it started to go down hill. We started to grow apart. No drinking, no drugs, no abuse, no cheating. Just grew apart. Around year 14 she told me she was not attracted to me anymore and was no longer intrested in sex. I was DEVESTATED. I did everything for her. I loved her. I wanted her everyday. She never stopped being beautiful to me. After that is was a few times a year pity sex. Then the last year or so I was sleeping on the couch. I finally left her 8 years ago. I still miss her sometimes.
Looking back, the day she told me she was no longer attracted to me was the day it was over.
I was with my ex for about 2.5 years. The first year or so was fantastic. I didn't get along great with her family, but neither did she so that didn't really bother either of us. We moved in together, and things slowly started to fall apart. She had a 6 year old daughter, and it quickly became apparent that I was there to be her babysitter while she went out with her friends. She also refused to have a job in the summer (she had gone back to college) so I was stuck footing the bill for everything, minus the few hundred in baby bonus we would get every month.
During that next summer she got back into playing WoW, and then when September rolled around, she didn't go to a single class, instead opting to spend all day, every day, sitting on the couch in front of her laptop playing WoW. Meanwhile, I was waking up at 7am to get her daughter ready for school, taking her to school, coming home, getting ready for work, going to work, coming home, cooking, doing the dishes, then MAYBE have ten minutes to relax before getting ready for bed.
Naturally, we started to fight constantly. By that point it had already been about 5 months since we had had sex. I realized this was a terrible environment to raise a child, and that I hated her (my ex, not her daughter) more than I thought possible. So one day I walked into the living room and said "I'm not happy anymore. You're not happy anymore. [daughter] isn't happy anymore. I can't put her through that anymore, so I'm leaving." and moved out 3 days later.
That was the last time I saw her. We emailed back and forth a few times, about 2 months later one of our mutual friends died. I emailed her to tell her when the funeral was, she never responded, and never showed up. Last I heard (about 2 years ago now), she had dumped her daughter at her sister's house and taken off, and nobody really knew where she was. In all honesty, that makes me very happy, because at least I know her daughter is being properly raised by parents who actually care about her, and are able to dedicate the time to her.
I knew it was time when I no longer looked forward to seeing her. We used to be able to talk for hours about absolutely nothing and have such a great time doing so. Eventually, things began to spiral, and the only time we had fun was when we were doing something, whether it was sex or going out somewhere.
If you can't have fun doing nothing with your significant other, the relationship is no longer going anywhere.
I didn't mind her spending time with a male friend as I had complete trust in her. We were engaged and had been together for 5 years. She never cheated on me, but wanted me to claim ownership of her by refusing her to spend time with another man.
What confused me even more was that I had never been reluctant to show my lust and passion for her, we had loads of sex and had an absolutely awesome chemistry, and I even saved her life twice: once in a car accident and once while she had a very bad kitchen accident.
Over the years I have probably thought too much about this as she was the biggest romance of my life, but to this day I still don't completely understand it all. I suppose I should just let it be.
Long-distance. Being so far apart for so long and so often, the love we had was lost and when we saw each other we had to fall in love again each time. It got exhausting.
She said she was young and wants to experiment more and not be with one person. It was heartbreaking at the time.
But it worked out just fine. I'm now in a great relationship with a loving girl, we support each other through the good times and the bad. Moved in together 3 months ago and it was the best decision of my life.
I flew out to see my girlfriend for a three-day weekend to celebrate her graduation and I didn't feel like I had a girlfriend most of the time. I feel like I gave her a lot of leeway and space since she was hanging out with friends and family, but on the final day I was there, she barely wanted to talk to be around me.
She didn't want to eat anything in the morning until I made myself breakfast, then suddenly she was hungry. We watched some television in her apartment because she didn't feel like going anywhere. Her friend called her and asked if she wanted to go to a bar, and suddenly she perks up, changes into a dress and is ready to go, and says on the phone within earshot, "Oh, we just need to drop of my boyfriend at the airport, then we can go have some fun!"
Her friend was very rude, talking as I weren't even there , and took her time driving to the airport, only getting me to the terminal a half an hour before my flight was supposed to take off. I got out, grabbed my stuff, and had to run to the terminal to make my flight.
I realized on the flight that I didn't even kiss my girlfriend before leaving to go home.
That was pretty much the moment I realized that this relationship wasn't working and looking back, I figured out that she liked having a boyfriend so she wouldn't have to be alone when she was lonely and only spent time with me on her terms, when it was convenient for her. Totally one-sided and unhealthy.
I tried to see her one more time when I was in town for other business and she was too busy to hang out. So, I broke up with her and haven't talked to her since.
When another dude asked me why I broke up with her and then told me he's been with her for the past 6 months. I ran into him in front of the restaurant where I was meeting her to have our two year anniversary dinner.
Moving in together. If you're thinking about getting married but haven't lived with each other yet, try it first. Being locked in and face to face with your significant other every day has some trippy effects.
Marriage Counselor: "Ok, this first session has been informative. Lets meet again next week. Can we agree that in the meantime, neither of you will see other people?"
Me: "Of course."
Her: "I don't think so."
Marriage Counselor: "No, sorry - let me clarify: what I mean is, can we agree that neither of you will have sex with anyone other than each other before next week?"
Me: "There is no way I would ever have sex with someone other than my wife."
Her: "Sorry, I don't think I can make that promise."
-Probably the most crushing moment of my life...
When I was considering asking my now ex-husband for a divorce, my mom advised me to make a list of reasons for staying with him and reasons for ending the marriage. I did so and let her read it. She said, "I don't see anything for you on the list of reasons for staying with him."
I had included things like, "I don't want to hurt him" and "He's diabetic and wouldn't have health insurance without me" on the list of reasons for staying. Mom was right. I asked for a divorce.
She came out as a lesbian. I don't know if I actually thought it would last forever but hell.
I was with my ex boyfriend for four years. I helped him through a lot and was his shoulder and a rock for a lot of things only for him to break me down a lot. He would tell me he was self conscious because I didn't look like the type of girl he would be with. I was stupid. I stayed with him through him cheating on me a couple times and attempting to cheat numerous other times. Constant emotional cheating while he was away at school and I was busting my butt back home to make money for an apartment for us.
The last time I found he was trying to talk to another girl I just told him I couldn't do it anymore and ended up walking away. I remember sitting in my car forcing him to have the breakup convo with me and him telling me I was so cold. Oh well that's what years loving someone incapable of loving anyone but themselves will do to them. I'm better off today even though it still hurts sometimes.
When she and I hadn't been intimate in months, but had given each other permission to sleep with someone else, and conversed openly about it. And neither one of us cared that the relationship had reached that point.
The moment it hit me - that I'd ended up in that sort of situation, and didn't even mind - is the single most jarring thing in my life up to that point. I could point blame, but... what's the point?
I had to cancel a date because I had to work. I called her up and told her, and she said, "That's OK, I'll just go with [her ex]." It occurred to me that they might wind up in the sack. Then it occurred to me that I didn't really care if they did.
I worked 2nd shift. She kept insisting it was my job to do all of the chores because I was "home all day". Literally all of the chores. On Friday work day I would get home at 3am Saturday morning. She would wake me up at 8 telling me that I was lazy and all I wanted to do was sleep.
I wasn't in love, and neither was she, but we were best friends. We were both in high school, and we were really close; like, talk every day, hang out for hours every week and on the weekends, finish each other's sentences kind of close. I took her to homecoming once because she wanted to go and didn't have a date, even though I hate that kind of thing.
We'd been joined at the hip for at least a year and a half when I told her that to break up with her new boyfriend because he was a heroin addict who would ignore her for days at a time. (It was an online relationship, and those suck anyway, but even if they didn't I don't think "stop dating a heroin addict who has no plans on stopping the whole heroin deal" is a bad idea.).
She told me that I was "disrespecting her" and stopped talking to me for at least two years straight. Now she's with a real-life boyfriend who she lives with, but he's an emotionally abusive jerk. I unfriended her on Facebook a week or two ago because I was tired of witnessing the train wreck that is her life.
When I realised that in order for me to be happy in a relationship, I have to be able to see them in person more than once every 2 months.
Being away from someone you really care about can become very wearing, and eventually you stop missing them. I wish it hadn't gotten to that point but it did.
To summarize as best I can, my father suddenly fell into a coma my junior year of college. I flew out to see him and my mom, and spent about two weeks there before the doctors confirmed our fears: he was unlikely to ever come out of it, and would have significant damage if he did (likely blind and mute, almost entirely paralyzed, etc). Per his living will, we asked that my father be taken off of life support.
I wasn't really in contact much with anyone from college during this time period, as I obviously had other things on my mind. When I got home, the first thing I did was go to my boyfriend's room (we still lived in the dorms) to tell him what had happened. I got about five minutes into the explanation, clearly distraught, when a girl I'd never met before walked in. My boyfriend proceeded to greet her and chat with her for forty-five minutes, completely ignoring me the entire time. I finally left, went back to my room, and cried until I went to sleep.
Next morning, he knocks on my door - I assumed, to check on me. Nope. Instead, he sits me down and tells me that I'm the reason he never has any fun at college (of course that's it, not his 4chan/LoL addiction and nocturnal sleep schedule and severe depression), and that things needed to change or we needed to take a break. We were on-again, off-again anyway, so this wasn't exactly out of the blue; however, it really made me realize that he didn't actually care about me in any way I could understand. Apparently, while I had been standing by my father's death bed, he had been getting drunk and flirting with this girl (drinking and flirting being two things he constantly reprimanded me for, perceived or otherwise). So I happily agreed to break it off then and there.
She cheated on me and when I suggested we could work past it slowly she threatened to kill herself if I didn't move past it straight away.
I was seeing someone I was very much in love with for almost 4 years. Sharing your love, and life with someone should supplement, enhance your life, not diminish it. When it got to the point everything in my life was suffering BECAUSE of my relationship, it was time to end it. My work was slipping, my management team were telling me my performance was dropping. My friends barely spoke to me any more, I was arguing with my family a lot because I was always in a bad mode.
It felt like at the time that it would be impossible to live without her. But it was also impossible to live with her in my life, so no matter how I felt it had to end.
I am now in a 3 year relationship with who I hope wants to spend the rest of her life with me, and my Ex (from this post) is currently happy in her life in a different country.
Follow your heart, but when your heart starts to screw up your life, follow your brain.
Some of this material has been edited for clarity.
Quitting a job can be a liberating feeling, but it can also be scary as hell... especially if you don't have another job waiting for you on the horizon.
Thanks to Redditor BurningDruid13, we have some answers to the following question: "Have you ever quit a job, without another lined up, for your mental health? How did it turn out?"