Perplexed People Share An Insult That Left Them More Confused Than Insulted.

In the heat of the moment, when you're angry with someone, it's hard to control what comes out of your mouth. And sometimes, which so little time to prepare, what you end up saying may not make much sense at all. Here, people share the weirdest most confusing insult they've ever received.


1/29. Someone once yelled "Learn to drive" at me, while I was learning to drive in a marked student car.

Polymarchos

2/29. "Your limp makes you look like a horny pirate."

To anyone who cares: I have a limp because I broke my ankle as a child and my mother didn't believe me, so it didn't heal correctly. And for context, the guy who said it was pissed because I turned him down on Tinder.

subtlesuspenders

3/29. I got into a verbal altercation in the checkout line at Walmart. The guy looked into my cart, spotted a box of laundry detergent, and said, "You probably wash your clothes at a laundromat!"

avengepluto

4/29. I had a student tell me to "get a spouse" in a derogatory tone.

i_teach

5/29. I used to live close to work -- about 2 mins by car, about 15 mins walking. Usually I drove because I'm lazy. One day I was up a little early, it was nice out, the forecast said it'd be nice for the rest of the day, so I decided to walk.

I have to cross a relatively busy street. There is a crosswalk with WALK and DON'T WALK signs, as is standard. I waited for a WALK sign and crossed, like you're supposed to do.

A car was turning onto the street I was crossing, and was apparently very irritated at the presence of a pedestrian in the crosswalk.

He yelled out at me as he went passed, (story continued on the next page...).

Continue onto the next page for more!

He yelled out at me as he went passed,

"LEARN TO FRICKING CAR."

I think he maybe meant "Learn to fricking drive", but couldn't get it out properly? I'm really not sure.

wnp

6/29. "Why don't you go chop some wood." (I have a big beard.)

Rroyalty

7/29. I was working as a land surveyor in Boston.

Homeless man: " I don't want you taking pictures of me!"

Me: " We aren't taking any pictures"

Homeless man: stares at me and my instrument "I said, I don't want you taking pictures!"

Me: "No pictures! Just making maps with lasers!"

Homeless man: "Screw you, you astronaut!"

Me: what the heck did he just call me?

[deleted]

8/29. Once I found myself in a bidding war over a used car. After I won, the other bidder called to me as I was leaving "hey you, in the yellow shirt. You're stupid, that's why you're wearing glasses."

onetwo3four5

9/29. I am at a stoplight downtown. I am driving my Saturn. An older gentleman pedestrian screams at me through my open window, "Buy an American car you traitor!"

There was a long pause before I quietly said... "This is an American car...." and the light turned green.

rakshala

10/29. I was 19 working the front desk at a hotel. This woman comes to check in and has no reservation and we're sold out.

She insists her travel agent took care of it. I tell her we don't have a reservation, I can search another name or call around to other hotels.

She gets on the phone and calls her travel agent. She is implying I'm and idiot who can't work a computer. She says to the agent, (story continued on the next page...).

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She says to the agent, "Let me put it this way, she has long nails."

What does that even mean!? Plus, I had medium length nails that were cleanly filed and unpolished.

I assumed it was some code for a ditz or something.

Anyhow, turns out she went to the wrong hotel.

Opandemonium

11/29. "You're a nerd, I don't like you"

"A nerd?"

"Yeah, your grades are too high"

"So.. If I would get lower grades.. you would like me?"

"Yes"

She actually said that. Oh, high school...

universal_particles

12/29. "If you would learn how to drive you wouldn't get hit!"

Said to me by the driver of a car that drove up onto the sidewalk in front of me and hit a tree in someone yard. I was 7 and on a bicycle just going down the sidewalk. They veered off the road for no good reason, nearly hit me while I was on the sidewalk, then tried to blame me.

Taipers_4_days

13/29. Look at you, standing there with your elbow halfway up your arm and your teeth in your mouth.

Pizza-Daddy

14/29. Me: The A in my name stands for Awesome.

Girl that hates me: No the A stands for Idiot!

IceBlayze

15/29. Growing up in a greek household, my grandma used to say some wild stuff to me, eg: (story continued on the next page...).

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I will drain your blood and fill your veins with goats blood.

I'm gonna break you, fix you, then break you again.

If you dont stop bugging your brother I'll cut your hand off and feed it to your parents.

... Apparently these are normal greek grandma things

eagueofuchiha

16/29. I accidentally cut someone off in traffic and she caught up to me, and as she drove past she yelled out "you stupid, smelly doo doo head!".

A grown woman called me a doo doo head...

ask_me_if_Im_lying

17/29. "I wouldn't pay a million dollars to suck you off!"

Why would you? Is that a possible source of income for me?

Ruhtardedd

18/29. It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.

TheHoliestMacaroni

19/29. Kid in my 10th grade class told me I looked like a sexy baby. 20 years later I'm still not exactly sure if I should have been offended, or flattered.

LOOK_AT_MY_POT

20/29. "Imma slice your biscuits" It certainly wasn't to me, but I heard it during a fight and just... what?

Cullvion

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21/29. "Whatever, you're too smart to see my point of view." Said in a dismissive fashion. It worked to bring me down to her level, because I was completely dumbfounded.

VoraciousGorak

22/29. A buddy of mine was in an argument with a kid from school and at the end just shouted "I WILL PISS IN YOUR HOUSE" and walked away. Still have no idea if he meant in a toilet or a random location but it's safe to safe he won the argument.

SaucyItalianSub

23/29. When I was an exotic dancer I once had a man throw a five at me (he balled it up and it bounced off my torso) and say "don't make yourself look stupid" before he stood up and walked out.

starryduchess

24/29. I was given the nickname "Goodyear" from some kid in middle school, and I never understood why.

He would always say, "[insert last name here] goes to Goodyear to get his good parts."

I still don't get it.

Not_a_Templar

25/29. "You're a spoon."

Said to me by a 28 year old chef who was ranting about me stacking dirty plates incorrectly.

Spoiler - I'm not a spoon.

CaniBeSerious

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26/29. Nice glasses, mate! (He was drunk and aggressive. But I wasn't wearing any).

D_B_R

27/29. "You are a vending machine of lies!"

HalfRackOfRibs

28/29. I had a dude blow a stop sign and almost hit me with his van while I was starting to cross the street a couple weeks ago. I made it all the way to the other side before he could muster up a retort, which was to blame me because he couldn't see me in my blue coat. When I pointed out that paying attention to the bright red stop sign would probably have prevented this incident no matter what I was wearing, he yelled some more about how I was dumb for having a blue coat on at night (in Chicago, where it is never actually dark).

clocksailor

29/29. I woke up earlier today, sat on the couch and out of the blue, my mom says: "Just because you're ashamed of your Southern heritage don't mean I am." That was all.

CJMac02

Source

Fame always come with a price!

Fame is a tricky, tricky mistress. It can be intoxicating and make you crave it; until it ruins you or until it does you right. And thanks to cable television and the internet anyone can be famous for literally anything and nothing all at once. Who knew being a "Meme" could garner you a fan club? What does one do with that sort of fame.

Redditor u/AnswersOddQuestions wanted to hear from those who are part of Meme fame by asking.... People who have had their pictures end up as memes. How has it affected your life?

I wanna be Memed!

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