Pet Owners Reveal The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Witnessed Their Pet Doing.

We love our pets. But sometimes, our loveable furry friends will do something so stupid that it leaves us scratching our heads wondering, "How have they survived this long!?"

Here, people share the dumbest things their pet has ever done.

1/28. Dog heard my stomach growl and growled back.


2/28. My greyhound can't/won't push open a door that's already partway open. He will stick his head through and look at me, waiting for me to open it for him. He will wait and wait forever. Sometimes I'll look up and he'll just be standing there at the door, and I'll wonder how long he's been standing there. It's so sad.


3/28. My dog has a blanket that he brings everywhere. He will try to jump on my bed while carrying his blanket. Trips over blanket and falls on the ground. Every single night.


4/28. So I woke up in the middle of the night to my two dogs barking at a cat that had gotten into the house. They'd managed to trap the poor thing in a corner, so I lock the dogs outside and herd the cat out the front door before letting the dogs back in... The idiots ran right back to the corner and kept on barking.

To this day they still don't completely trust that corner.


5/28. I was scratching my dog's head the other day, and he zoned out and pressed his throat up against my leg. He then let out a VERY loud burp through his compressed esophagus and scared himself. I couldn't stop laughing, and he must've thought I was yelling at him, because he just kept pacing with this pathetic look until I stopped. He may have been embarrassed, but I was laughing really loudly, so I think I was scaring him too.


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6/28. One of my cats is a wonderful idiot. He can only learn to do something if he's seen our other cat do it at least 50 times first. For example, he seemed to think that a 2-ft high baby gate had made a doorway completely impassible, despite the fact that he can easily jump 5 feet in the air if he wants. The first time he saw our other cat on the other side of it, he tried to walk through the gate instead of jumping over it, and crashed into the clear plastic.


7/28. I have a pretty big dog. Every single time he walks down the stairs he forgets to look up when he gets to the bottom and bangs his chin on the floor. Then he looks around with this shocked look as if he has not done it a million times before.


8/28. Well, my late lamented cat Buzz did a few dumb things. He chased a Swan. It chased him back, caught him by the leg and gave me a hefty vet bill. He fell out of my bedroom window. Twice. Once I could excuse but after the second time, it was easier to just keep the window closed. He sniffed a lit candle. I was right there, I saw him approaching it, but I never thought for a second he would sniff it.

How wrong was I?


9/28. My cat wanted to go out, so I was going to open the window. At the second my hand touch the handle, the cat must have thought "Ho, he touched the window, it's open now !", and he jumped.


Then my cat sat silently on the sofa and didn't move for the next 2 hours.


10/28. We had a really stupid dog when I was growing up that would get out of the house periodically. She loved to run, so catching her once she was out was tough.

My boyfriend (now husband) came over one day and my mom was panicked because the dog had gotten out. She asked him to help catch her. Now he knew the dog had a reputation for being really stupid (she had once hit a full-out point for a sprinkler).

He chased her for a few blocks, but every time he would get close, she would move 10 feet away, sit down and dog-laugh at him. So, he turned around and started walking backward toward her. He said he could see her reflected in his sunglasses, tilting her head one way and then the other, trying to figure out what was going on. As soon as he got to her, reached right down and grabbed her collar.

Such an airhead.


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11/28. My cat jumped into my neighbours' balcony, entered their kitchen, beat up the dog and ate their lasagne. Had to pay them for the damage. I couldn't stay angry at him for too long though, he looked so fat and happy, then he vomited under my chair on my birthday.


12/28. Once, my gerbil got stuck in an infinite loop. I was feeding her sunflower seeds out of my hand, and she was grabbing them to hoard for later. She'd pick up three, reach for a fourth and drop one of the first three. Then she'd notice the one she just dropped, go for it and drop one of the seeds she was holding. Then she'd notice that one... and so on ad infinitum.


13/28. Had a golden retriever some years back who, despite his sense of smell being multitudes stronger and more keen than you or I, walked up to a bucket of bleach water and simply began drinking. He had plenty of clean water to drink, and instead chose to drink the poison. He was fine, of course. Dogs that stupid are basically invincible.

God, I really do miss him.


14/28. I had a cat who would go out and torment the magpies who would in turn beat the crap out of her. We'd hear her screaming outside wanting to be let in to be saved.

My current cat decided to sneak out the front door that I hadn't closed properly. I was in the kitchen and heard the magpies making a huge scene. I popped my head out the front door and the gang of magpies had my cat pinned against the trash can and were yanking his fur out. Needless to say, he's stayed away from the front door ever since.


15/28. My kitten almost killed himself once a day for the first five days I had him.

He seemed to have a death wish. His behavior was incredibly impulsive and he had no concept of self preservation. The first day, he jumped on to the lid of my open banjo case, which wobbled then slammed shut, locking him inside and nearly amputating the tip of his tail. I mean by mere millimeters he missed it. Luckily I was there to witness or else he may have been locked away for who knows how long.

The next day he climbed up the inside of a table lamp, clasping the bulb, then shoved his head out through the small opening at the top which immediately got stuck. The lamp of course tumbled off the table, falling about 3 feet, and landing him right on his head on the hardwood floor.

The third day he was in the bathroom with me, and took a running jump into (story continued on the next page...).

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The third day he was in the bathroom with me, and took a running jump into the FLUSHING TOILET. He was 8 weeks old and tiny, and I just barely caught him by his back legs. He was in an expertly crafted Olympic dive position, perfectly streamlined as if to make himself as small as possible... He literally would've been flushed away.

On the fourth day took a carefully planned running jump off the top of the stairs. He sat there, thought about it, posed ready for it, then ran as fast as he could. He tumbled head over heels 2 or 3 times down the flight and landed on his head, again.

The last heart-palpitation inducing incident on the fifth day was when I brought him over to my parents house. My mom was giving me some food from their freezer, which was from one of those fancy fridges with a pull out freezer on the bottom. She rolls it out, gives me the stuff, then shoves it closed. A minute later I realize my kitten is missing, and we here desperate meows coming from the fridge. Somehow in the 10 seconds that she had the freezer drawer rolled out, he had crawled UNDERNEATH the drawer, and finagled himself into the space between the freezer and the fridge itself. I had to reach up underneath the drawer and pull him out through the small space, that's kind of like how the door in a vending machine works. Once you open the drawer, that space is blocked- if that makes sense. So I had to jam my hand in there and was wildly trying to grab him. I ended up yanking him out by one of his front legs which was not fun for either of us.

He was ice cold.

This was all within the first five days.


16/28. I had a cat that would often chase it's tail, from time to time it would actually catch it's tail, bite it and then scream out in pain.


17/28. Dog poops in yard. Seconds later, he comes to eat his meal. Eats far too fast. Goes back to yard and vomits everywhere ON THE POOP. Proceeds to eat everything.

Have a nice day.


18/28. My cat has a tendency to open up drawers and then manage to find a way to close it while inside. Problem is he won't admit defeat and start meowing for help so I need to eventually go on a cat hunt when I realize things are too quiet in my place.


19/28. My dog once sneezed, waking himself up, and proceeded to bark at himself for a solid ten minutes before going back to sleep.


20/28. When I was young, we had an adorable, loveable, but extremely dumb standard poodle. One day, my dog saw my mum pulling into the driveway at our house from one level up. He got very excited so he ran out on to the deck at full speed. Now, at this point we had just redone our deck so there were no railings on it. This dumb dog did not slow down at all, ran right off the deck at full speed and dropped 15 feet to the cement driveway. We all freaked out and were so afraid that he broke something, but he bounced right up and ran to my mum to lick her face. I miss that dumb dog, he was my stupid baby brother and I loved him so much.


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21/28. We erected a small fence in the middle of the garden so our tortoises stay in the half that we have checked and know there are no holes in the fence. One of them decided to try and climb said small fence and ended up flipping itself onto its back. Then another wanders up and does exactly the same thing.

It's a miracle they are still alive, dumb cuties.


22/28. My cat picked a fight with a badger mom and her two cubs. When I saw what was going on, I went out to give my cat some backup. The badger started to growl and came at us. I grabbed the cat and hurried back inside.


23/28. I have a very dumb black lab / pit bull mix. He has a block for a head, as is typical for pits. One day he ran to our bay window to bark at the mailman, but misjudged the distance and broke the window with his head. It was hilarious (once I ensured he wasn't hurt).


24/28. Over the years, I've had a number of different animals (Horses, cows, dogs, cats, a rabbit once for a few days), but the most gloriously stupid animal I've ever had was a horse named Beau. Beau was an extremely nice horse. He was extremely easy to work with, and was solid minded and never once attempted to buck, even as a 3-year old (more on that later). However, Beau was not what we could call a very imaginative animal. In fact, he had a running list of things that he was well known for, such as:

Getting his head stuck in a fence, by sticking it through to eat his neighbors hay. He was unable to remove his head from the fence until he was helped.

Getting stuck behind a gate. An open gate. It had swung towards him, and he couldn't figure out how to go around.

At one point, Beau decided to jump into a lake for a swim on a hot day. However, he mistimed the jump, and instead of splashing down, he fell face first into the water. He repeated this 3 more times until he got it right.

Beau was terrified of cows. We raise cattle, but we had plenty of cowhorses, so this wasn't really an issue (at first.) It became a problem, however, when he decided he had bonded to a newborn calf that we were bottle feeding. He wouldn't leave the calf's side, but when we would turn the calf out with the other cows as it got older, he'd stand, terrified, essentially OVER the calf as it grew, not realizing that the animal he had bonded with was the same thing he was scared of.

A personal favorite, Beau didn't understand how to buck until he was 6 years old. Not that he didn't want to, he didn't know how. The very first time he did, he was running around a pen, and out of nowhere kicked up. He IMMEDIATELY stopped, and stared at his own ass for a good 5 minutes, with a bewildered expression on his face. He then promptly bucked for the next half hour, with one of the most joyous expressions I've ever seen on a horse's face.


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25/28. Taz: A 110 lb Black Lab cross, well known for his happy nature, total cowardice, and lack of ability to avoid parked cars.

Taz enjoyed chasing rabbits. Taz was apparently convinced that skunks were also rabbits. He would then whimper and demand to be petted when he got sprayed. Every summer. For 15 years

He also enjoyed running as fast as he could. He wasn't able to run and look at other things however. It was not advised to yell at Taz when he was running out of the pasture, as he was prone to running into things. To date: He ran into the barn 3 times, 4 parked cars, a tractor, another dog, and my mom, knocking her off her feet.


26/28. One time my dog (puppy then) ran outside, stopped in the middle of the road, and stared at an approaching car wagging his tail. When the car hit it's brakes my dog rolled over like it wanted a belly rub or something.


27/28. We were in the middle of remodelling our house and went out of town for the weekend. Got back and couldn't find the cat. I realized I had left a ladder leaned against a wall right below an air duct and saw claw marks around the open duct. I instantly assumed I would be fishing a dead cat out of the wall and succumbed to my fail by slumping down against the wall, trying to figure out how to explain to my wife and 3 year old that I stupidly led our beloved cat to his doom. About that time, the little jerk pokes his head out of the duct and meows at me, wanting me to help him out.


28/28. Stood by the food bowl. Farted, then growled at what she though was another dog behind her. Then when she saw her reflection in the water she jumped and hid in her basket. That was many years ago, and she is just as senile now.



Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.