Stories From Suicide Hotline Operators That Highlight Just How Hard And Important Their Job Is. Wow.
Suicide hotline operators were asked: "What's the call that keeps you up at night?" These are some of the best answers.
1/18 Had one where a suicidal person sounded just like a high school friend, and the call dropped out.
2/18 This girl in her senior year in high school called and as soon as I answered the phone my stomach dropped. She was screaming and crying. I went through the general questions. She told me that she was being bullied online by her high school "friends" and they had turned their back on her. She hadn't told her parents. She was alone in the house and she said she was going to kill herself. My eyes were tearing up at this point and my stomach felt sick. I did not feel qualified. After talking with her for a little over an hour (we're supposed to keep calls at 20 min or less) I found out that she was the star soccer player, the valedictorian, and had been accepted into her top colleges (which her friends hadn't). I said do you think maybe these "friends" were just jealous? And she stopped crying and said yeah that might be it.
We talked for a while about all that she has going for her, and that she would soon be out of high school. And I'll never forget this. At the end she said "I'm so glad you of all people picked up. I feel like you really get me. I would have killed myself tonight if you hadn't answered." That was the 2nd time in my life that I ever felt proud of myself (the first was when I got my first paycheck). Not the kind of pride where you want to tell everyone, but the quiet kind where you just want to keep it to yourself. Like I couldn't stop smiling on my ride home. That call stuck with me.
3/18 Sometimes the saddest stories are the ones from the younger kids: 13 or 14 year old girls who are cutting along with having an eating disorder and they have no friends at school. They're sad because they're often locked in a system that won't or can't help them. My heart broke when a girl told me that her school's advisors/counsellors were assigned a ridiculous number of students per advisor and couldn't make time for her. Nor was she allowed to switch counsellors - she was stuck with the one she was assigned to for the rest of the year (and IIRC, the rest of high school). It said a lot about the state of education funding, school management, and the sanctity (or lack thereof) of teenagers' mental health.
4/18 I volunteered at a teen suicide hotline when I was 16. I had a friend that was really cute and she was passionate about helping people out in rough situations so I agreed to go. I brought along my best friend, as a wingman mostly, and we met at a small building with three or four phones. The girl was so happy that I came. We started talking the evening away and it turned into a fun night.
We got two or three calls our first hour. The first was from Mickey Mouse, the second was from Bart Simpson and the third was someone saying they were going to commit Suicide because of how hard their life was being so attractive. Joke after joke after joke. The number for the hotline was printed on the back of all the student ID's from grade 7-12. Not the most mature ages to deal with so it didn't surprise me.
We turned on a movie on a projector and all of us were just laughing and enjoying the night. I remember near the end of the evening, the phone rang and I answered it laughing. Expecting the same prank calls, I didn't think it would matter if I started out the call chuckling from a joke that was told while a seventh grader got the guts up to say that it was Jesus on the phone. But this was different, I could hear deep breaths. Instantly I felt chills run up my back and I asked if everything was okay. I didn't even have my damn script of what I was supposed to ask because I had taken it so lightheartedly. "I think I've made a mistake...." I heard on the phone. I scrambled to relate conversation as the room fell silent and our movie was paused. I asked what was going on and if they needed help. "I shouldn't have done this..."
I knew at this point something was wrong but just didn't know what to do. I was asking everything, what their name was, how they felt, everything I could think of but their breathing just continued into the phone. I then realized that I could send the cops to their address from the phone number they called in on since it was a landline. Then I heard a subtle crash. The phone had been dropped. The breathing slowed and stopped as well. I continued to try and talk but it was no use. Eventually we could hear police walk in the room and I came to learn that a 15 year old had slit his wrists. I don't know what if I could have done anything to save this kids life but I will never forget how I handled the situation.
5/18 The call that affected me most was a man dealing with some serious personal issues, and guilt that maybe wasn't so necessary, all things considered. I put things in another perspective for him and by the end of the call he was crying with joy rather than sorrow. No idea who it was and I pretty much guarantee I'll never meet him (wouldn't know who he was if I did), but I hope things have improved for him and he doesn't blame himself so much.
6/18 One call that had really bothered me at the time was when I was dealing with a clearly delusional person. For example, while assessing the risk, you need to ask a series of questions. How they planned to kill themselves. In this case, she wanted to shoot herself. And if she knew how to load it. She said yes. What she planned on loading it with... Sleeping pills. Now in the middle of the assessment I got another call. After 5 minutes went by, I had to switch back to the other person. And this would go on switching back and forth in 5 minute intervals. Now to the delusional person who just needed someone to talk to and feel like they were being listened to. 5 minute intervals wasn't that bad. But the other caller didn't feel the same way. I switched back to them and they screamed "YOU DONT CARE EITHER. I CALLED TO GET HELP AND YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!" click
At that point my heart sank. And being completely anonymous I knew I would never hear from them again. They shared information with me that was truly heart wrenching and was really trying to reach out, but I was by myself. I felt guilt for a long time. And ultimately got anxiety from volunteering there. The odd time I did feel like I helped someone was an amazing feeling. But I would not suggest anyone to do it. Honestly great experience though
7/18 I volunteered for 2 years while at university getting my BA. During my second year I stayed on campus for the holidays, flying home would be too expensive and I had a lot of work to do. So I volunteered some on my break - many people find the holidays the hardest time to cope with turbulent feelings of depression and such. I got a call from a girl that I knew, a girl who I had gotten to know through the theater dept. I've always been good with faces and voices, I have a good memory for that sort of thing. She on the other hand did not recognize my voice over the phone. Now from my training I knew I should switch operators but. . . She was in bad shape. She was on the edge and was talking a mile a minute. She had been battling depression for a few years, unbeknownst to me or any of her close friends in the dept. She had also failed a lot of classes that semester, the university was planning on dismissing her, and she had taken it really hard. She had stayed for the break and felt alone in our foreign college town, most of her close friends had gone home for break and she had been over medicating (pills + booze) to try and keep her "up" but it wasn't working.
She talked a lot for a while, about how she wasn't worth trying to help, then she got quieter. Then it felt like I was talking for a really long time trying to console her, then no response. She hadn't hung up, she had just simply left mid conversation. I suddenly felt panic, a ton of panic. I tried to get her back on the line to no avail. I grappled with my options, try and call her cell on my phone to check on her but risk her making the connection once she hears my voice, the exact same voice she had just spent about an hour with on the suicide hotline. Or the option I went with. I knew where she lived, it was actually quite close to me, so I sent an ambulance to her apt.
They found her in the kitchen covered in vomit. She had mixed high doses of her meds with a bottle of cognac. Her stomach was pumped, she spent 2 days in the hospital, her parents came and moved her back home. She had no idea it was me. She still has no idea that it was me.
I'm still not completely comfortable with the decisions I made and I stopped volunteering at the hotline shortly after I told my supervisor about the incident. Oh and I still check up on her via Facebook from time to time. She's doing alright, has what seems like a very stable and positive SO, is graduating in May, and has been interning at an institute that apparently specializes in the study and treatment of mental illness.
8/18 At the end of the day, the thing that sticks with me most is the kids that talked about the stigma of mental illness. You know how many kids in North America live with a serious mental illness that their parents deny because the parents think their children should just "suck it up" or "feel better"? Too many. This was shockingly common. I couldn't believe how many teenagers I talked to had parents who flat out denied that depression was a real thing. This was common to whole families, or single parents (though in my personal experience, if it was one parent in particular that allegedly held this viewpoint, it was almost always the mother). Or even parents who acknowledged that their child had a problem but that counselling wasn't the solution and that they wouldn't pay for treatment. Heartbreaking stuff.
9/18 A kid in her early teens called and had a rope around her neck. She kept tugging on it and choking and asking me what I thought death was like. She said she thought it was like a big black hole. I asked her what if she was wrong and it was nothing. She gave me the name of a shop she lived near, and after some googling we found it. Police visited and she was okay.
10/18 I worked an overnight shift and got a call from an older woman who had already taken a bunch of pills but didn't want to be alone when she died through out our call I could tell she was starting to fade but I was able to piece together enough information to find out where she was EMS was able to get there in time and save her.
6 months went by and I got a call from the same woman (it is by coincidence that she connected with me and not another volunteer) she didn't know it was me either. She told me her story and said that the person she talked to saved her life and she had gone to therapy and was doing much better. It made my year and it made all the rough nights worth it.
11/18 This one girl would call a few times a week. At first she wouldn't talk to any of us. She would call everyday and just not say anything. So we would sit there in silence for 20 minutes and say "When you're ready, we're here for you." And then we would have to say goodbye at the 20 minute mark. At first, she did that same thing with me. But, over time, she started saying a few words. It was the cutest thing. I would say "Have you ever heard of this show?" and she would wait for a second or two and then say, "You watch that? That's a really dumb show." in a playful tone of voice. Over time, she opened up more and more until she was talking more than me.
She was precious. She was in high school. Her only friend wasn't really a friend. This girl who called - I'll call her Sam - cut herself regularly and the other friend knew and would poke fun at her for it. I'm not kidding. One time she called when the other friend was in the room and I heard her making fun of Sam for calling the suicide line. But every time she called I would just talk with her about her favorite music, favorite tv shows, whether the cyberbullying was getting better, was she still cutting, etc. And she started calling and asking for me because she said I was different. She said that she felt like I actually cared. She was being bullied online as well, but she would just laugh and giggle the whole time we were on the phone. She would ask when I was coming in next, etc. She was really cool. I really felt like she was a friend. But it breaks my heart because I moved away unexpectedly without getting a chance to tell her and I still wonder if she calls asking for me.
12/18 I was talking to a woman in hysterics - she was at home, alone, and packing all of her things. Her SO was going to be home within a few hours, and if she was still there when he arrived... Well, he was very abusive. He had just lashed out at her that morning, and I could hear that her voice was thick (he had punched her in the face/jaw, so I assume the crying as well as the swelling added to that). She kept saying, "please, please, this is my last option, I've called everyone else and no one helps, no one listens". In the line's database, we have a list of all the women's shelters within the state, so I put her zip code in and find her a few.
Then came the tricky part; I kept going to make a conference call with a good shelter, but a dial tone would meet me each time. I was getting panicked, because you can't speak with the caller while you're dialling and calling the other line. Each time the call failed to connect, she would come back on the line, crying, frantically trying to pack her things up. She was in pieces. I would say things like, "you will get the help you need, I'm currently calling shelters for you," and asking her questions about what happened, as well as asking her to take a moment to breathe. It was a race; I was trying to dial as quickly as possible so that she wouldn't be alone. I felt terrible that she had to sit there and justwait for someone to help her out of hell. My fellow counsellors (usually one or two others on during the shift, sometimes three) were occupied with their own calls. I kept trying again, trying new methods of doing a conference call (we have a binder with directions) but it just wasn't working. At one point, I returned to the line with the woman, and started to say something, but the line was dead. I still have no idea whether I pressed the wrong button or if her SO came home. I waited for a long time and put up a notice for other counsellors to pay attention to calls from her, but she never called back.
My supervisor said that it was likely she hung up. Turns out that the conference call wasn't working because I didn't include a "+1" in the phone numbers. That part is now included in the binder's directions, and they mention it whenever there are training sessions for incoming counsellors. I was seventeen at the time (this was within the last few years) and didn't have a lot of experience with landline phones. I think about her all the time.
13/18 A girl called in shortly after her brother's funeral. He had committed suicide. Prior to his suicide, he had told his sister that he was miserable at his job, and wanted to go back to school in another field, one that the sister was in. She didn't encourage him, and said that her field was incredibly difficult, "the higher-ups look at you with scorn. They're just as petty and likely to cut you down as corporate people. They'll do anything to stop your progress". No one in the family knew how depressed he was. Not even the sister - the phone call had signs, sure, but he seemed bummed out, not suicidal. That phone call happened early in the week. The brother and sister were supposed to meet up later, but when she arrived at his apartment, he wouldn't answer the door. His car was there. The police had to break down the door.
She felt like it was her fault, and trying make her feel like it wasn't just... wasn't the way to go. So I had to ask her, "Is it your fault? Did you directly cause this?" She said yes, because she didn't support him. "Okay. Do you feel like you listened to him enough?" We talked about how she felt like she should have known; she knew him best out of her family. We talked about the shame of what other people must think of her and her family. The hurt, that her family also blamed her for not letting the family know what he had said. (He'd had a job interview that morning.) I explained the stages of grief. Denial, anger, depression, etc, and how she was probably in the anger stage, and how to work through that for the next few months. How there would be so many questions she would have, that would likely go unanswered. There was a lot of emphasis on the letter he left. She was still upset by the end of the call, of course, but she felt better.
I was the first person to say, yeah, maybe it is your fault. I don't believe it was, which was difficult. I mean, how can you tell a grieving person that they're to blame? She cared so much for her brother, and I don't think the logic she shared, the idea that maybe going back to school wasn't the best plan, that he should think on it a bit more, caused him to commit suicide. I think there may have been a gap in communication, and that he felt hopeless. Perhaps he thought that no matter what career he was in, he would be surrounded by bitter, cruel people.
Her family seemed to be religious, and while she herself wasn't devout, talking about seeing him after death and talking about prayer helped her as well. That was another difficult aspect; I've had bad experiences with church, but when you're on the line with someone who's hurting (or when you're with anyone who's hurting) relating to them with faith always helps. The call lasted at least an hour and a half, maybe two hours. I cried for a long time after I hung up, my supervisor and another counsellor/friend sat with me for a while. I got my own kind of counselling session. It's hard to imagine being blamed/blaming yourself for your brother's death, it's hard to be complicit (that word has the best connotation I can think of right now) in blaming someone for another's suffering and death.
I left the line a few months after that, both due to a lack of time and because that last call just hurt too much.
14/18 I had a caller once who'd taken a deliberate overdose and was losing lucidity. We'd been talking for a couple of hours by this point, and I knew a whole lot about her and her life: I even knew vaguely what neighbourhood of what (nearby) town she lived in. At one point, after murmuring a lot about being sleepy, she stopped responding, and all I could hear was the noise of an ice cream van stopped somewhere on the street near her house and some kids excitedly running to get ice creams.
Let me step back for a moment and tell you about me: I'd never before had difficulty rationalizing my role on the helpline: I wasn't there to prevent suicide - not directly, at least. My role was to be there and provide emotional support. You can't tell somebody not to kill themselves... well you can, but they can get that fromanybody, and if they have then it hasn't helped them so far. But what you can do is to be with them, and show them support, and help them evaluate their choices, and let them not have to be alone, and maybe, just maybe, that's enough to give somebody who's suicidal the strength to go on for a little bit longer. And that can make a huge difference - sometimes all the difference. Surviving a day at a time and calling a helpline several times in that day can help people get by, and then maybe find a way to start surviving a few days at a time, or a week at a time. I've supported people who've recovered from suicide attempts and subsequently feeling plagued with suicidal thoughts and feelings, and it's a long hard battle: learning to survive when you're deeply suicidal is really hard. But it can be done, and the way to help somebody do it isn't to stop them from committing suicide, because all that does is makes them not call you next time. The way to help them is to accept them, and to support them, and to hope beyond hope that they find their own way to survive. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't: I've had callers who I've later heard that they'd died. But this call was the first time that I'd had a caller in imminent danger of dying right there on the other end of the phone.
And I became briefly irrational, and I'm not entirely proud of it: I started trying to work out how it might be possible to work out where she was and get help to her, even though she'd specifically rejected my offer of this earlier in the call. I knew where she lived down to a cluster of perhaps 60 houses; how many of those must have an ice cream van outside them right now? My mind raced. It was completely irrational (there's no way that I could have narrowed it down; I was clutching at straws) and wrong (the policy of that helpline was, and I fully stand by this, that we don't send help to anybody without their permission unless the law dictates otherwise: and the law's quite well-worded on this matter, in my country).
My caller was completely silent - I didn't even hear her breathing - for seven minutes and fifteen seconds, and you know already that every one ticked by like a bomb going off. Then she came to, and said that she was feeling unwell and was going to call an ambulance, and then she hung up. And that was the last time I ever heard from or of her.
In my decade+ of helpline work I've spoken to a lot of people and about a lot of things. Some of them have been suicidal and some of them haven't. But that moment in which I momentarily lost my rationality will stick with me forever.
15/18 It doesn't really keep me up at night, but the most disturbing thing that happened to me was that we would get this one guy who called a lot. He seemed pretty lonely, but tried to keep a positive attitude. One day he stops calling. Several more days go by without a call which is unusual for him. Turns out he snapped and almost successfully murdered someone. It wasn't pre-meditated or anything and he didn't know the person either. He just, snapped.
16/18 The one that disturbed/stuck with me the most was a guy who was a mixture of suicidal and homicidal. He told me in detail his entire plan to kill his sister, shoot up the kids in the elementary school across the street, and then force his mother to shoot him in the chest. Needless to say we had to get the cops involved.
17/18 Probably the girl who took a whole bottle of Tylenol. Got an ambulance for her, but depending on how long it's been, acetaminophen OD is fatal.
18/18 I volunteered for Samaritans in UK for a few years and took quite a range of calls. The thing that sticks with me the most is how some people never even stood a chance, and I often wonder what life would be like if that happened to me. One lady stand out a lot, let's call her Rachel. Rachel had gotten all the help she could from doctors, psychiatrists, medication, therapy, everything she could, but it didn't work. She decided that she wanted to be dead and I 100% supported her decision. When talking about suicide some people say there's always a reason to keep going, or that things can better. But that's not always the case; some people unfortunately had their fate decided way before they ever had the chance to make their own decisions, from biological factors to abuse as a child. Rachel wanted to die but she couldn't even muster the energy required to walk to the local shop and buy the paracetamol required to kill herself. She would spend months in bed, tortured every second by her illness, but no one would allow her to end her suffering. When I talked to her she just found me to be a breath of fresh air because I didn't tell her not to do it. She could really share her true thoughts and feelings with me, rather than holding back as she had done with all of her friends, family and medical professionals.
Rachel finally managed to kill herself over a 5 hour phone call I spent with her and I'm honestly glad about it. That poor lady had suffered her entire life and she could finally end her pain. I think about Rachel a lot and about how some people were born without an opportunity to ever be a normal person. It makes me sad that people have to endure this and that mental illness isn't taken more seriously. Her life was truly tragic but I'm so glad that I could have been there with her until the end.
Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?
You're not the only one.
u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.
I Know What I LikeGiphy
My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.
The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.
A Stair Step
My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.
My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.
My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.
We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.
I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.
My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.
With an ex:
"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."
She did not understand this.
I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.
"Now how much do you have in your hand?"
She still didn't understand.
She somehow has a college degree.
When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.
I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.
My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.
His answer was that I was being unfair.
How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."
To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.
A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.
A Non-Standard Ruler?
I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.
Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.
7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.
Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.
Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.
This Unusual Vegan Argument
Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.
He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.
That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."
Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.
Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.
In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.
It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.
Albert or ArnoldGiphy
Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?
Below Sea Level
I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.
I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.
This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.
Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.
Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.
An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.
I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.
Whales Are Mammals
I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.
Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.
My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.
No Balloons For Grandma
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.
He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.
He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
Spontaneous Dolphin ExistenceGiphy
How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.
I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.
Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.
But ... Ice Floats
Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.
Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.
Time Zones Exist
Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"
"no, it's red"
"YOU CANT EVEN KNOW"
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)
The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.
The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.
It was stupid.
Stars Like Our Sun
I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.
I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.
I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.
Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.
Balloon to Heaven
My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.
And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.
I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.
He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.
It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.
Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".
My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.
3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.
I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.
Late to the party, but there it is.
I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.
Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.
Wicked Witch of the West
I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.
I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.
They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.
So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.
My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.
I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.
We didn't speak to each other for four days.
How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).
How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.
Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.
Dogs and ChocolateGiphy
I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.
I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.
Is water wet?
My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.
For the record, it is no to both questions.
A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.
He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.
One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.
It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.
Green Or Yellow?
When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.
Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.
Stars In Their MultitudeGiphy
I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".
I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.
My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.
"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".
It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.
About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.
She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.
We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.
I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"
I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.
I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...
Solid Or Liquid?
Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.
For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.