Teachers And Professors Reveal What They Did When A Student Offered Them Sexual Favours For Grades.
2/18 Yes. I was a teacher in rural West Africa for a few years. I had a few students approach me, and make an offer. I rejected them 100%, and had long conversations regarding how inappropriate and terrible this was.
It didn't help that it was quite common for this to happen, and the same females that were approaching me were approaching the other teachers. At one of my schools, 2 girls became pregnant from teachers, which gets kinda ugly since pregnant girls are not allowed to be in school.
We had faculty meetings where the principal would say verbatim, "OK, I need to tell all the teachers not to sleep with students." and the teachers would laugh and say, "But who are we supposed to sleep with?"....and everyone would chuckle and then discuss the next topic on the agenda.
3/18 Female university professor for 16 years. I've been flirted with countless times, but only outright propositioned twice. Neither time was for grades, as both students were already doing well in class. One was a 19-year-old boy who told me that he was sure he could "handle a 30-year-old woman." I managed not to laugh at him, mainly because I was very fond of him. Of course, I turned both down. No consequences to them.
4/18 I teach math at a major US university and usually end up with at least one lower level class each year. Like most of the replies in this thread, I have students flirt, or make subtle comments fairly regularly, but one student really went above and beyond.
She was doing poorly in my class with about a 65% average early in the semester, bit she was coming in to my office hours regularly for help. She was really trying, but was still struggling with the material. I really wanted her to do well, because it was clear that she was willing to put in the work, so I didn't mind the extra time.
She was a very attractive young lady and always wore tight or revealing clothes to my office hours, but that was how she seemed to dress normally, so I didn't think anything of it. She didn't really flirt much, but there were the little hand/arm touches from time to time. I kept my office door open and was on a busy hallway, so I didn't really worry about it.
Well, toward the end of the semester she shows up for office hours and asks if she can charge her phone. She didn't have a charger, she said, but she had a cable, and could she just plug her phone into my laptop. I didn't think anything of it and said sure.
She got fairly flirty that session, and was starting to cross into inappropriate territory, but I played dumb and kept things focused. When we wrapped up, she unplugged her phone and said something like "I think my phone copied some pictures to your computer. Tell me what you think."
Oh boy, did her phone ever copy some pictures. There were literally hundreds of pictures of her which looked to be taken over the course of the semester, almost all of them nude. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a good long look at them that night before I deleted them. I'm only human.
I had to report it to my department chair, but I told and that I'd like for us to assume it was an accident, but I wanted cover too. We had a meeting with her and she was embarrassed, but we stuck to the "it was probably an accident" line and left her most of her dignity.
Surprisingly, she didn't drop. Instead, she apologized after the next class, very embarrassed and promised it wouldn't happen again. I continued to let her come to office hours for help, but we sat in a common area instead of in my office.
She ended up pulling a C-, which I bumped up to a C because of the extra work she put in. I would have done the same for any student even without the pictures, so I figured it was only fair. She made a mistake, as many college kids do, and I didn't think I needed to punish her any more.
And just to be clear, she was 20 and not at all underage. I checked as soon as I realized that she could have put child porn on my laptop.
5/18 First day teaching high school. I was 26 at the time, a 10th grader came and put her tits on my face while I was sitting on my desk. I calmly stood up, and walked to the hallway. I explained to her that it was wrong and that I had to report her. So it happened, the counselor talked with her and monitored the situation. The girl was very respectful after that.
6/18 I used to teach an astronomy class which required the students to once a week (weather permitting) go outside for 2 hours to the campus observatory and point out constellations and look through the telescope.
One girl in my class was pretty clever over all. She didn't like working particularly hard so she always sat with the nerdy awkward guys who easily did all the work. She was reasonably attractive and playfully flirted with them enough to get them to basically do all her work for her. (Having been in their situation in college I quickly recognized it as an instructor)
One day she asks me if the observatory would be open to which I responded, "I don't know" because it was the middle of the day. She then sighs and says, "Maybe we could meet up at my place tonight, get a movie, and determine my grade some other way..."
Well, me being the suave physics grad student that I am just stared at her expressionless, turned, and quickly walked away to the other side of the room. As I was walking away I start hearing the guys at the table jump in on this offer and start planning to bring food and movies as they figured this was an open invitation to the table. I have no idea what happened.
7/18 I had a girl say she'd "do anything" for extra credit. Her intention was clear. I made a joke of it by responding "Anything? Would you kill a guy?" I think she was embarrassed I didn't go for it. She dropped my class not long after.
Before anyone asks if she was hot- lets just say when I was in high school she never would have given me the time of day.
8/18 I've been a college instructor, teaching assistant, or professor for ten years. I'm extremely oblivious, so I don't typically realize I'm being hit on until a month or two later. Semester ends, I'm in my office thinking of the past semester, saying "Man X was friendly -- she sure seemed nice but she always wore low cut tops and OH MY GOD!" And then the realization sets in.
I'd never act on it. Most of the ones who like me are way too young for my taste (I go the opposite direction -- much prefer older women). But I'm completely oblivious.
9/18 Yes, this absolutely happens. I occasionally teach at the University of
The first one was the most memorable because I wasn't ready for it and it was rather shocking. A slender young woman with black hair came into my office hours and shut the door (unusual). She was wearing no bra and a very sheer buttoned shirt that revealed her jutting nipples, and reached across the desk to touch me a couple of times. She stood up to get her textbook out of her book bag, and when she turned around she looked slightly different -- it took a few seconds to realize she had unbuttoned a couple of buttons on her shirt when her back was turned. She trotted out the old line that she'd do anything to improve her grade in this course (astronomy) and put her hand on mine. I suggested she spend more time on her homework, and she packed up her things and left. I spent the rest of that office hour (hardly anyone ever turns up to office hours) musing about just how desperate someone would have to be to make an offer like that. There were no longer-term consequences.
Since then I've been propositioned a few times. It's just part of the territory -- if you teach a large enough class at a state school, there'll on average be a person or two who's willing to try the gambit. It's sort of sad, really -- every young woman who tries it must think she's hot stuff, but in the moment such an offer is just sort of a sad admission of failure and low self-esteem.
10/18 I can say that I have never had a student outright say anything sexual. I had a young female student tell me that she had pictures of me on her phone and then she winked at me, and I had a few passing notes about how much they were in love with me. With that being said, I do not respond to anything like that. I just ignore it and remain professional. I've seen other teachers who will respond to that stuff and change grades or show general favoritism to the students because they like the attention. Those teachers definitely get labeled by the other staff and the administration...
Another thing that I make sure of is that I am never EVER alone with a student in a classroom one on one. It can be difficult and sometimes impossible, but it is important to try and not get in that situation. This kind of sucks because a lot of students open up to me and feel more comfortable discussing issues with me because I am a young teacher (25) but I cant always give them individual attention because of the possibility of accusations. I do always make sure they get any help they need.
11/18 I was a college lecturer for three years in the States, during which time I was in my mid-twenties. I was still young when I started, and close enough to the ages of most of the students on campus, so I made a rule to never get involved with any student so long as I had a say in their final grade. My second (or third) semester of teaching, I had a young woman in my class who began making heavy advances towards me. Whether it was for a passing grade or she simply wanted the D, I never found out. She would constantly make advances and would often throw me dreamy eyes and subtly lick her lips around me. I ignored it for the most part, but once she started making sexual innuendos to me in front of other students, I went straight to the department chair and told him what was going on. I was pretty worried about some allegations flying around before I spoke to him, but he assured me that I'd done the right thing, spoke to the girl, and that was the end of it. Shit was still awkward as hell around her until she graduated.
12/18 I teach a course on computer basics. It's for corporate, to keep the older employee's up to speed and help them have greater efficacy over their work. I issue some small quizzes in order to cement their knowledge, you can't actively fail them unless you go out of your way to try to flunk. (example; one of the questions is a picture of the Windows 7 Desktop and I ask them to circle the start button.)
I'm also going to add in the fact that I don't look my age. I'm in my mid-to-late 20's but I still look like I finished college yesterday. I get mistaken for a temp, intern or summer student a lot.
Anyways; I had this one older lady who kept shilling out her daughter (18 years old) to me. First she'd complain during the lunch break about the loser she was dating, the fact she isn't going to school and doesn't have a job, the fact she doesn't aspire to anything. Then she started saying how alike we both were and had the same interests (We're both "good with computers"). Finally, I got one of the quizzes back from this lady with no questions actually answered; just a letter reading that she'd like me to make the first move to talk to her daughter. The back page was her daughter's phone number, e-mail and "Instagram" (Actually, SnapChat but good hustle!). Closing line of the letter really killed it; basically that she'd heard her daughter is AMAZING in bed and a winking face.
Didn't even touch it. From the stories I'd heard from her mother, low-hanging fruit.
13/18 When I was in graduate school, I had a student who, once he found out I was gay, started to flirt with me a lot. He was ridiculously good looking. He did stuff like come up to me after class to show me his pierced nipples (which involved, of course, lifting his shirt and showing me his perfect abs, too).
He never actually made an offer of sex for grades; he might have just been offering me sex. Or he might have just enjoyed flirting with his teacher because he got off on being hot.
Poor boy got the lowest grade in the class; he was pretty, but not too bright.
14/18 I taught for a few semesters at a rather large university. My classes had between 30 and 70 students.
In the class with 70 students, one girl that was just terrible tried something. Until then, I couldn't understand how she made it to her junior year. She couldn't even write a complete sentence. One day during the middle of a 3-hour-class break, she comes up to the podium to discuss her grades; she was bombing the course with a strong F. She says, "I want to know how I can improve my grade?" and immediately gets closer to seemingly look at the computer screen propping her tits on my arm like an eagle on a perch while smiling. This was in front of the entire 70-student class.
I pulled back, told her that her writing needs lots of work, and she should go to the tutoring center. I went straight to the grad-student lab and wrote an email to the program head detailing what just happened. Fuck that.
Additionally, I feel bad for her because the poor girl had no hopes. She was a terrible student and couldn't even propose sex-for-grades properly. She had nothing going for her.
15/18 I'm an art teacher and, when I was teaching middle school, I had a 7th grader ask me, in the middle of class, to suck his dick. Not in a mean way, but in a "will you please?" kind of way. They go to lunch, the kid leaves the lunchroom, comes to my room and asks again. He's 12 years old, mind you. I kept trying to get him to leave the room and he was saying, "There aren't any cameras in here, no one will know if you don't tell," and then he tried to pull his pants down just so I could see his penis. I just got to the door to leave myself, when another student showed up and the other kid ran off. I reported it, wrote a referral and the school made me press sexual harassment charges. The kicker is that, after he came back from being suspended, the school didn't remove him from my room and I had to teach him for the next 3 months. Ugh
16/18 A senior who was not going to graduate from high school on time because she was failing my class said, "Mr. I would do anything to pass your class. Anything." She drew the last word out for about three seconds. She was trying to be sultry but ended up sounding absurd.
I sneered at her, "How about the work you owe me?"
I was really put off (over and above how inappropriate the suggestion was) that she thought that was the way to succeed after taking a mythology class with the theme of Arte. Perhaps this was the way that she was trying to be remembered forever and I should have passed her for it.
She turned and walked out of the room. I never saw her again. Her phys ed teacher made her jog a mile around the track. She did that. My principal now uses this line on me every time he wants me to teach a new class or serve on a committee.
17/18 I once had a student offer to have her sister perform oral sex on me if I gave her a passing grade in the class. I of course refused, and informed her that such an offer could be grounds for dismissal from the university, but I have to admit I always wondered why she offered her sister's services over her own.
18/18 It's pretty common -- at least once or twice per semester. I think it is generally not really a quid pro quo for grades, but rather it is the only way they can think of to act on their crush. Often those who are making the offer are already earning A's.
And also the crush isn't physical (I'm in my mid-40s, but look much older), but more of an intellectual infatuation. In those cases in which the student clearly is trying to swap a good grade for sex, I always find that vaguely insulting. Really? You think YOU'RE the best I could get? Gross. In some of those cases, I suspect they are just hoping to flirt their way to a good grade, and not have to follow through.
In either case, I usually just pretend to be oblivious. When they say things like that classic, "I'll do anything, and I do mean anything to pass the class," I'll respond with something like, "Good, because it's going to take a lot of hours in the library to catch up with the reading" or "Yes, you'll really have to write a stellar essay to make up for this." For most of them, they don't push beyond that.
Every so often, though, there's a really aggressive one. When that's the case, I try to avoid ever being alone with them (I get my student assistants to interrupt us at regular intervals, etc.) so they can't really work their way up to it.
However, I had one so aggressive years ago that she wouldn't be put off by anything. If there was no desk between us, her hand would immediately be climbing up my thigh. If I put a desk between us, the moment I glanced away she'd be coming around at me. So, one day, I was literally climbing up my chair to get away from her, and I loudly protested, "I'm married!"
She retorted, "What's your wife got that I don't?"
My reply: "A college education."
I'm particularly proud of that comeback.
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