Women Share The Worst Attempt At Flattery They've Ever Experienced.
Have you ever gotten a spike of cringe when someone tried to gibe you a compliment or ask you out on a date? Well, then you may enjoy this article, or it will make you relive some less than great memories.
1. "No I'm not hungry"
I was at an anime convention for the first time and it was about 1- 2 am. There wasn't very many people in the halls at this time. I was leaving a panel and I was about to leave the convention center and go back to my hotel. I was cosplaying as L from Death Note at the time.
I was heading outside and this group of 3-4 guys say "Hey L" and motion for me to come over. I thought they just wanted a picture of my cosplay so I went over to them. They did not.
One of them asks me if I'm hungry and I said no. They all look at each other. I then notice one of them has a brown paper bag with them.
They ask me if I'm sure and I say yeah and reach for my phone in case I need to call someone if it gets out of hand. Then one of them says "Well you see, I was wondering if you wanted to trade sex for food" I guess I focused on the food part because it didn't register in my mind what he actually said until I replied with "No I'm not hungry."
They walked away after that towards the direction of the exit, and needless to say, I just sat in the halls for a good 30 minutes until I figured they were gone and I could safely get to my hotel.
2. Wow... Just wow.
I used to work as a medical scribe in a primary care office, which meant I followed the doctor into the room to write his notes for him. One patient smiled at me in a way that made me super uncomfortable, then later asked if I could stay in the room for his rectal exam. He was 3 times my age.
3. That's... impressive?
A frat guy walked up to me, smelled my hair, and guessed what conditioner I used. He got it right, down to the brand.
A (married with kids) man at least twice my age bought lingerie for me, brought it to the restaurant where I worked, and tried to give it to me.
5. This is just awful.
Ugh can't believe I'm typing this out, had to help drive a drunk friend of a friend home he suddenly yelled out "I bet no man has ever lasted more than five seconds inside you, I wouldn't do that" still had about 10 more miles to go.
6. He's full of them.
"Look at all that tasty white meat. Tasty, tasty breast meat. Can I have a bite?" - homeless man
"Hey sugar, I can be all yours for $300" - same homeless man
7. What is actually the matter with you?
I worked at a gas station, and one night a regular customer who's about three times my age asked me to go to the movies with him. When I said no, he yelled at me for a solid three minutes. I was alone in the store and it was dark, it really freaked me out.
8. That's nasty.
I don't know what it means or why they do it, but so many times gross old men have done this thing where they scratch my palm with their index finger while they are shaking my hand. I hate it.
9. This man should be fired. Or worse.
A male coworker of mine came up behind me while I was in a supply closet and proceeded to flirt by blocking the door with his body and not letting me leave.
He stood there and laughed while I went from asking him politely to move to freaking out and trying not to scream/cry. It's very frustrating when a guy is making you uncomfortable, but he thinks your protests are funny or cute.
10. "I couldn't help it and burst out laughing."
Classic negging. He approached me from across the bar and his opener was 'I'm lowering my standards for the night because you look like you're interesting.'
I couldn't help it and burst out laughing. Laughing so hard I nearly started choking. He looked embarrassed and went away.
11. "Part of my soul died that day."
I was 18, and taking Intro to Psych. This class had a classic hottie, the kind of woman you know is unapproachable. My father comes to town to visit, and decides we are going to Hooters. Of course she's our waitress there, and recognizes me.
My father - rest in peace - says "Honey, did you know I'm an amateur bird watcher? I'm on the lookout for a big-breasted bed thrasher."
Part of my soul died that day.
12. "Wow I never would have pegged you for a lesbian."
Well there was the time a dementia patient thought I was his wife and asked for a quickie before bed. But I don't count that because... Well dementia (but believe me I noped right out of that room).
But I guess the creepiest/most cringeworthy was from a co-worker at a job I had when I was in college. I was a delivery driver and I was working night shift. It had been a slow night so I was helping make sandwiches on the line. My girlfriend at the time stopped in to visit me. Well this coworker decided he had a shot at a threesome and he said to both of us "Wow I never would have pegged you for a lesbian. I'm still skeptical though. You two should come over after work and prove it to me"
Yeah... My gf threw her drink on him and the manager sent him home for the night.
He tried to play it off as a joke a few days later. But then he was caught touching himself in the walk in freezer a while later. He was fired.
13. " Compliments my braces."
A guy tried to dance with me at a club. Compliments my braces (mouth) and then left me 2 of his business cards explaining he was a dentist? Asking me to call him in the morning.
14. "They all bursted out laughing."
Not a woman.
But, I once approached a girl with all of her friends, explaining to her how I thought she was drop dead gorgeous and that I absolutely had to introduce myself.
Her and her friends were totally eating it up, when all of a sudden I had a weird brain fart and I literally couldn't think of how to follow up the conversation.
It got quiet for 5 seconds and all I did was look at everyone and said "Ah...crap" and then proceeded to walked away.
They all bursted out laughing.
15. "I was 8 months pregnant..."
I was 8 months pregnant and huge. Im 5'1" and weighed 175 lbs toward the end of my pregnancy. As I literally waddled through Wal-Mart, a man asked if I started lactating yet. I had "pregnancy brain" and just stared at him trying to process the question. He moved too close to me and he asked "You need a daddy for that baby. If you give me some milk, I'll be the kind of daddy you both need." I gasped and power waddled away while sneaking looks over my shoulder. He then yelled "if your baby already has a daddy, he shouldn't let you out of the house looking like that" and proceeded to groan. He was at least 30 years older than I am.
I ended up crying in the car trying to tell my husband about a creepy milk man hitting on me. He totally didn't understand what I was saying.
16. The wink makes it so much worse.
Used to be a vet tech and we had this one interesting client. He had X-men tattoos and always wore a cowboy hat (we were not in an area where cowboy hats are the norm).
When I went into his appointment room, he started making inappropriate comments about my appearance. I tried getting back on topic by asking about his dog's medical history. He then took that as a good time to ask me out. I declined but he wouldn't let up until I said I was engaged. Then it got weird. He had to hold his dog so I could get her temperature (pet's temperatures are taken rectally like babies). Our faces are inches away and he says "you know some people would consider this foreplay" and winked at me.
17. "Told me my skin was so soft it was like..."
Told me my skin was so soft it was like I "hadn't even gone through puberty," said we would make "beautiful caramel babies," stalked 10 blocks because I ignored the first time he called me sexy and of course following me and getting more aggressive would make me sleep with him, proudly declaring I needed a real man and that he got his education from the streets...
I can go on and on, truth be told.
18. Nice one.
This one is kind of cringy, but I'm not gonna lie. It killed me.
I was talking to my female friend once, (I'm also female) and in the middle of the conversation, she randomly says to me "y'know, I like my men like I like my coffee" And after a short pause, she exclaimed "I drink tea. So movies Friday night?"
It was a great movie.
19. "I honestly don't remember what he said because I was just so shocked."
When I first moved to my new town, the best job I could find was working in a lumber yard and supply store. I worked inside as a cashier.
Some guy at least twice my age, so in his 60's, asks me where the screws are. So I show him the aisle, and I guess he was trying to make me feel dumb or something as he pointed to the lag bolts and asked what they were. I told him, and told him what his project needed.
I'm standing maybe three feet away, on the other side of the aisle from him. It had been a hectic day so my hair was falling loose from my pony tail, and my bangs were in my eyes. He steps forward and runs his hand through my hair, tucking it behind my ear.
I honestly don't remember what he said because I was just so shocked. I stammered something and wandered back to the desk and stood beside the older male cashier and told him what happened. He at least is an awesome guy and got upset, but my boss at that time was a "Bro" in his 30's who was given the store due to nepotism, and he just laughed at me being uncomfortable.
20. "God bless you, drunken purple homosexual, wherever you are."
In an inversion: I was hollered at by a drunk guy in a bar. He was obviously peacocking - purple velvet shirt, skinny jeans, gelled back hair. I ignored him, but he kept coming after me, and eventually just bought me a shot. He kept telling me I was beautiful. To quote, I had a "gorgeous bone structure". And yeah, all this was making me absolutely sure he wanted to make a bone structure. Out of my bones. In his garage.
Wound up being gay, and wanting to give me foundation tips. Drunkenly tutored me on how to highlight my cheekbones while still maintaining the illusion of blushless, smooth skin.
God bless you, drunken purple homosexual, wherever you are.
21. "I flipped."
I was 19 and at a club with a friend. Some middle age guy is dancing with me (aka grinding). At that age I didn't have the lady balls to shake off men I didn't want to dance with, so I just sorta hoped he would go away. He starts getting handsy and creeping towards my crotch. I moved his hand twice before he actually managed to full on grab my crotch and I felt vibrating. I grabbed his wrist and yank his hand up - he had a small vibrator in his hand.
My best guess is he thought this would get some poor girl flustered enough to go home with him.
I flipped. Pushed him back away from me and screamed bloody murder. Bouncer kicked him out.
22. The classic bike by.
I was approached at a bus stop after work by a kid on a bike that looked about 14, I was in my 20s, he stopped his bike in front of me and said "I've been watching you for a while" so I replied "that must be very exciting for you" and he said "the reason I'm on my bike is because my car is in the shop" so I said "I've got a boyfriend" and he was all "oh okay, that's cool" and rode off.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.