'Work To Live Don't Live To Work': People Share Advice That Profoundly Changed Their Lives For The Better
Making an active effort to try and remain calm and collected?
Here are a list of things you can implement into your everyday life that will hopefully help ease you over to the "it's s'all good" constant cooling state of mind.
Below is also an account of Redditors sharing how they remain chill and uncomplicated. Find the original thread at the end of the article.
1. Learn To Let It Go.
Chances are the things you are stressing about probably aren't that big of a deal in the grande scheme of things. So try not to sweat it.
2. Breathe In, Breathe Out.
Faced with a stressful situation? Remind yourself to breathe and smile! Cause it's a little hard to be stressed with a ridiculous grin on your face.
3. Loosen Up A Bit.
All that tension you are holding in your shoulders can't be good for you. Massage yourself and bring your shoulders down and imagine you are in a relaxing place.
4. Enjoy The Process And The Journey.
Chasing a big dream can be exhausting if you are constantly focusing on the end goal. Instead, break that one dream into multiple mini-goals and celebrate each and every one along the way.
5. Don't Be So Hard On Yourself!
No ones perfect. You are going to mess up every now and then, but just remember to pick yourself up and keep on, keeping on.
6. Be Patient.
Practice being calm and collected everyday. Take the longer route to do something just to practice waiting, for instance join the longer line at the grocery store.
Advice from Redditors on the next page.
If I can't control it, I tend to ignore it. Just easier that way. I also try and only hang out around other low maintenance people. If someone else causes 2nd hand stress, I end up wanting to hang out with them less.
And then overall, i'm a natural optimist. Mixed with some realist. But I just always try and make decisions by the best, viable option.
I think I can attribute it to a quote I read on Facebook a few years ago. It's something like, "If you have a problem and you can't do anything about it, why are you panicking? And if you have a problem and you can do something about it, why are you panicking?" And I mean it's fairly true. Either fix the problem, or learn to live with it. Stressing about it helps nothing.
Be honest and be humble.
Everything sorts itself out one way or another, including the company you keep.
Work to live don't live to work.
Quit working doubles and don't work on days off. You'll be much happier.
I realized that if a problem can be fixed, it's not a problem.
And if it can't, it's not my problem.
My mom died about ten years ago. She was a real matriarch and central to our family and we all loved her so bloody much. She died of cancer, in pain and knowing that she was leaving young children behind. It was horrific.
After going through that and watching not only the person you love most in the world die, but her slow acceptance of it.
Well, after that your perception changes. Little things don't seem so bad anymore, in fact they seem trivial. Big things don't seem so bad - it's just a car, house, job etc...not a person that you love, if it's not life threatening it's really not so bad.
For me, empathy and patience are key. Being able to see things from another person's point of view really allows me to let go of things and realize that the small stuff isn't that big of a deal. When you can let go like that, everything else you can just sort of take in stride.
What is the point in proving you are right in every small argument? Is it really worth it to hold onto anger and ruin an entire day, or just get over it and make up?
Why be passive aggressive instead of being an adult and facing the issue head on? I have seen so many relationships (romantic, family, friends, etc.) hurt or destroyed because of simple things like this bothering them, or building up over time.
Take an introspective look once in a while and find ways to be more accepting of another's point of view. So many people today are uncompromising, which is not very healthy, especially when it comes to social interactions.
I just stopped giving a crap. Nothing matters, let's play video games.
In other words, live, enjoy yourself, don't mess it up for other people, be a contributing member of society.
My husband basically doesn't let himself think about things that bother him, at least not too much. He will be like "is there anything I can do about it right now?", If the answer is no, then he won't think about it.
He said he has taught himself to be that way, and it was hard at first but he just does it naturally now.
He also doesn't seem to create expectations for things. For instance, we're going on vacation, he doesn't seem all too excited, because he isn't thinking ahead as to what to expect. When it's occurring, then he will be excited.
It's all about "living in the moment," which can be a learned skilled. For some it comes more naturally, for others, it takes a lot of time and practice to learn to live in the moment...I'm not all that good at it.
Honestly? Losing a parent to cancer when I was a teenager taught me to remain cool.
It's like in "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" - once the worst thing that can happen has happened to you, nothing else can really phase you. I hope there is a way for others to achieve that without having the worst happen.
Basically, don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff. You almost always have another chance to finish school, to retake the class, to get another job, to get whatever it is you thought you needed another way.
Also, you can't control other people, you can only control how you react to them. Your mom starts a fight every time you see her? Don't engage, leave the room.
Your best friend won't stop complaining about her boyfriend of 10 years? Realize that, for whatever reason, she is satisfied with her life situation, that she is happy to have something to complain about (otherwise she wouldn't be maintaining it for years) and be happy for her.
Resenting your brother for never apologizing to you for wrecking your car? Move on, he clearly isn't bothered by it, why are you? Just don't lend him your car again.
I always tell people having a form of escapism is so important. Play a video game. Read a book. Watch a TV show or movie. Exercise while listening to your favourite music. Whatever. Forgetting your problems for a brief moment and losing yourself in something else is a healthy thing.
Also, I grew up around chaos and I work with a few people who get worked up easily. I go out of my way not to be that person.
Around a year ago I had a sort of revelation and decided to adopt the philosophy that life is good as long as it's funny. Nothing that can be viewed as funny can be completely bad, and very few good things can't be viewed as funny. So I try to recast whatever I see around me in the perspective that the world is a funny place and living in it is the funniest thing you can do.
Basically I do my best to view things as amusing instead of annoying. It doesn't work for everything but a whole lot of things aren't hard to think of that way.
Remember none of it matters. It's all made up. We're just a bunch of temporary organisms living on a space rock, as Sagan said...suspended in a moon beam in a universe with more stars than people. I will die, you will die, she will die. No matter how much you have or how hard you've worked in a few hundred years at best you'll be all but forgotten.
Forgot the drama, b.s, the gossip and focus on consuming, it's all a made up distraction. We have to stop killing and hurting each other over our beliefs and our resources. Only then, can we actually exist in a place where you can do what you like, love who you want, and pursue excellence.
But until then ya just have to say screw it.
Keep in mind that mindfulness can be practiced any time. While you're working, playing with your kids, doing dishes, sitting in traffic. It's not something that has to be done in a quiet room with incense burning and all that junk. It's about being present, not lost in your head. So if you're doing dishes, do them mindfully. Feel the warm water, take your time and enjoy what you're doing.
I care about very few things. Friends, some family and some belongings. If there's an issue that doesn't affect any of these, it's not a problem. If it does affect them, it can usually be resolved or worked around. Never encountered an issue that I can't work around.
I stopped caring about what people think. I stopped buying clothes that I tried to impress others with.
I just said I'm sick of it and just stopped caring. It has developed into a great thing.
I used to get really upset very easily. I still do, but I take deep breaths and focus on that. It allows me to think and consider all the alternatives to a problem.
I also walk and stand with good posture; chest out, shoulders back, chin up, so it appears that I have confidence, and I've been told that my voice is quite boomy and when I talk people listen.
Growing up buddhist and being in a master's of public policy program have somehow come full circle.
There is a positive side to every situation. Sometimes you have to dig a little to find it. But once you do, hold on tight, and it will pull you through any stress. At least that's how I do it.
That, and not letting things strangers do or say affect me in any way at all.
When you're a kid most adults will tell you one thing or another is "cool" and "fun." Odds are you're too young to form any kind of opinion on the matter one way or another. You're a kid, right? You don't know what you're eating for breakfast. However, when you get older and form that larger worldview, you realize that yeah, maybe that one time when you were a kid actually wasn't fun.
These are those stories.