Parents And Former Kids Reveal Things Kids Think They've Gotten Away With But Failed Miserably
Kids do the funniest things, especially when they're young. Young ones are still trying to figure out exactly how the world works, and this can lead to some hilarious situations.
"If I can't see you, you can't see me" is a great example of this.
Reddit user u/erikjb12 asked:
I'm a parent but my kiddo hasn't tried to be really sneaky yet so I'll share my own misguided shenanigans.
I'm a twin, identical except for a scar on my lip. According to my grandmother I would often try to claim my sister's snack after finishing my own by cleverly covering my mouth with my hand and asking for my snack. Flawless plan. Except when my grandmother would tell me I'd already had my snack I'd reply "I'm not me, I'm my sister."
My 5 year old thinks that when he sneaks into my bed at night, I'll never find him if he just lays at my feet.
Getting snacks they aren't supposed to have. They grab them and go hide to not be caught. My wife and I use this to our advantage. We "accidentally" leave snacks out for them to get so they leave us alone for a while.
When my son is trying to play with something that he knows isn't a toy.
Ill say "what do you have there?"
And he'll go, "No!" And throw whatever it is far away.
If it's not in his hands, I obviously can't get onto him for playing with it.
He's 3 so that's as sneaky as he gets
We fostered a four-year old, she knew she wasn't supposed to leave her room in the morning until we came to get her. I walked in the living room one morning on my way to wake her up, and she's in the cat tree talking to the cat. I just stop and look at her. We make eye contact, she climbs down out of the cat tree (while maintaining eye contact), and lays down on the floor behind the couch. I still don't think she knows how I ever managed to find her.
My kids just finished a week of ninja-themed day camp and I guess part of it involved learning how to set small booby traps because I saw my older son (8) head up stairs with a stepstool. His dad said, "What do you need, kiddo? What's the stepstool for?" "Oh, nothing."
Five minutes later I walked upstairs to use the bathroom and saw him carefully positioning a stuffed animal on top of the slightly ajar door to the master bedroom. I studiously ignored it.
My adult son recently admitted that all those headaches he had in middle school weren't really headaches, he just had a lot of issues with school and didn't want to go. He apologized for lying. I asked if he ever noticed that I always let him stay home and often took us out to lunch when he miraculously felt better after the bus left. As long as he kept his grades at a tolerable level, I knew what he needed was a mental health day, not a sick day. (I did take him to the dr to rule out anything serious but when it became apparent that his problem was likely stress I just tried to de stress his life as much as I could and find non school things he could do to make friends.)
Not my child, but I'm doing Teacher Assistant jobs while getting my degree to be a teacher. Anyway, one of my students was a little girl who really liked bugs. We were outside and she kept carrying something around. It was a handful of worms. I asked her what she was doing and she asked to keep them as a pet. So, I have to tell her we can't and she gets upset, stomps over to a bench and sits down, arms crossed and pouting.
Around time to come back inside, I'm lining everyone up and she's beaming, happy as a clam. She also won't take her hand out of her pocket. So, i immediately realised she pocketed the worms. After another talk, she finally put them back and stomped inside, fairly disgruntled, lol
My parents tell the story that as a kid when I would sneak a cookie from the kitchen I would announce to everyone what I was doing to make sure they didn't come in and catch me. "Don't come in here, I'm sneaking a cookie." Child logic.
I asked for the actual quote, it was "I'm going to the kitchen nowww.... Don't looook..."
My son is making a book for his mom to tell her how much he loves her.
He's still pretty young and just learning to read and write. So slowly, like, over the course of the last few weeks, he'll bring a book up to an adult and ask them to help him read and then ask randomly, "Is the word 'amazing' on this page? Where? Oh, can you help me find a story where they have that word? Oh great, is that the word I'm pointing to?"
Then he disappears for a few minutes, then the cycle will start again with another word.
Slowly he's writing a book for her, one word at a time.
I know because I followed him one time recent and saw he was writing something in a book, then happened to check it out when he was asleep. So now I know his secret. He was up to about two pages and it's really sweet.
I don't know how much longer until he'll deem it finished. But I'm sure I'm the only adult who knows what's up.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.