Thoughtful People Share The Advice They'd Wish They Could Give To Their Younger Selves
Listen up, past me:
We all really wish we could go back in time and tell ourselves what we know now. Sadly the lessons we learned, we learned the hard way--it is the most common thing to regret in the human experience. So let's make sure we all know we are not alone.
Here were some of the answers.
Lose the weight now. It's so much easier when you're young and you won't believe the difference it makes.
Stop worrying about being embarrassed at the time. No one is that damn worried about you anyway.
Spend more time with your dad
People are rarely paying as much attention to you as you think they are. (I have crippling social anxiety).
Drop toxic "friends" that don't respect your decision to stay home and study, as opposed to going to the same shitty bar every weekend
Get therapy to deal with your f***ed up childhood and parents before choosing a life partner.
Socialize more. Not everyone will be your friend but you will at least have some friends if you really try socializing.
I wouldn't, I would just jump from the bushes, and scream really loud at me.
It's okay to ask questions.
Brush your g-ddamn teeth more regularly.
Stop suppressing your emotions. It's ok to feel them; let them run their course. Stop trying to immediately solve the problem -- acknowledge how you feel about it first.
Also, stop eating like it's your last day on Earth.
Future you gasping on a treadmill
Warn The Duke
l would go back and tell myself to take that acceptance letter to Duke, move, and never look back. Taking care of your elderly grandmother is not your responsibility, don't let your Dad guilt you, you won't be homesick, don't be afraid.
Getting A Life
Two things, that are related:
(1) The best way to stop being lonely is to act like someone who isn't lonely.
Sadly, nothing is a bigger social repellant than loneliness. People don't want to take on your emotional baggage when they barely know you. And people don't want to feel like they are interesting to you purely based on the fact that they are better than nothing. So you need to get out there and meet people, but as if you already have a basically completely full life and are willing to make some space for them. And when people are friendly to you and make overtures, say yes, but don't over do it. These overtures likely mean they are somewhat interested in getting to know you better, not in interviewing you to immediately to be their new best friend or love of their life. Remind yourself to take things slow.
(2) Pursue your personal interests.
Join a writing workshop, take a language class, learn how to throw a pot, learn how to tap dance. Since you have time to be lonely, you have a lot of time on your hands, use it! Activities doing what you love are good for the soul, keep you busy and with a full life, and you will meet people with common interests this way. It also makes you way more interesting when you meet other new people.
Let It Go
If a relationship is hopeless, let it go.
Quit worrying about what other people are doing and thinking, focus on what you're doing
It's okay to be depressed. It's okay to feel lonely. It's okay to seek out coping methods and it's okay to rely on other people. But it is never okay to rely on people who abuse you. It's never okay to go back to toxic people just to fill the lonely void.
Find out who you are. Learn what makes you happy. Learn to like yourself. And if people make you you feel worse instead of better get rid of them...even if they're family.
Take more pictures. Nothing quite like stumbling upon an old picture that you forgot existed.
Whaddaya Say To Takin Chances
When you graduate high school, take that college money and just move far away. Life here isn't gonna get better, don't play it safe, it's not gonna work. Take a risk and leave.
It's not normal to feel sad all the time. Talk to someone about that.
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.