It doesn't take much to get in trouble at school, but it does take something exceptional to be expelled. The punishment doesn't always fit the crime, but at times these troublemakers can pose a danger to students and the school. An epic prank taken too far, or a disgruntled administration with a grudge, can often derail a students future for years, but it's rare that expulsion solves any behavioral issues. They're just carried with the student to the next school, and the next and so on. People share the best of the worst.
Redditor u/bananapeel12329 asks:
Two priests walk into a bar...
A good laugh is hard to find, especially these days. To make someone laugh is the best way to break the ice and make them trust us, like us, and maybe even love us if we're lucky. Yes, 'Dad' jokes make us groan and roll our eyes, but they can also challenge our brains with their wit, wordplay, and punny-ness. Let's be honest, NSFW jokes are good, but Dad jokes are G-rate!
Redditor u/glitterywings asks:
Ugh thanks, Mom and Dad, for ruining my life!
We love our parents most of the time, hate them some of the time, but chances are we're embarrassed by them 24/7. As much as we don't like to admit, they seem to know us better than we know ourselves when it comes to pushing our buttons, and they do it to maximum effect. Sometimes they do it unintentionally, blissfully unaware of their own un-coolness. Other times, why does it seem like they take gleeful delight in shaming us in front of our friends, families, and crushes? Ugh, It's just pure evil.
Redditor u/LuanGaff asks:
Ugh, She Did This On Purpose!
Had my first boyfriend in middle school and brought him home one time. At one point my mom made him bring me my clean laundry. And by that I mean a single pair of pink High School Musical underwear. I cried from embarrassment but he was actually pretty cool about it and comforted me. Then he cheated on me.
Damnit i was gonna say that! lol
Helicopter Parenting At Its Worst
When I was a senior in college I was working a part-time job. They offered to make my current position full-time once I graduated. Before I got a chance to respond my father found out and contacted my supervisor expressing concerns about the offer and the fact I was still in college. How my father found out still boggles my mind but when my supervisor told me that my dad called him was probably the most embarrassing thing either of my parents have done.
Edit: I spoke to my parents a few months after it happened and the only thing they considered wrong with the situation was that my supervisor told me my dad called.
Another story for your entertainment. When I was in seventh grade and went to a youth conference with my church. All students got a free t-shirt and people were signing each other's name on them. This one girl signed mine dotted the I with a heart and left her number. Well I get home my mom is doing my laundry and finds said number. Yup you guessed it, my mother called the number and told the girl I needed to focus on education and didn't have time for girls.
Every Phone Call Ever
For those who didn't grow up in a time where you shared a phone - with multiple extensions - with your parents, consider yourselves lucky.
For those who did...
Me: Hi it's Kayge, I was wondering if you were going to go to the mall tomorrow.
Girl I liked: Ummm, yea, I think so. It's Saturday, so I usually go with my friends.
Me: Well, if you're there, do you want to, y'know, meet somewhere and have lunch.
Girl I liked: Ummm, yea, that sounds good where do you want to go.
Me: Well I was thinking...
Me: (Yelling upstairs) MOM, I'm on the phone!
Mom: (Through the phone) Kayge, are you on the phone? I was calling my friend Riva. She's having some people over tomorrow and I wanted to know if she wanted any Potato salad.
Me: (Yelling upstairs) MOM, I'm on the phone with (Girl I Liked), GET OFF!
**Mom: If you want, I can make a little extra so you can take it to Judo. I know how you get tired after class. Oooh, I hope I get to go this week, you look so handsome in your Judo outfit.
Me: Sorry, my mom can be soooooo embarrassing.
Mom: I don't think she's there anymore, honey.
After I submitted a job application to a manager when I was 16, my mother barged up and started going on and on about how I was really shy and not much of a people person.
Yeah, that's what a manager wants to hear about an applicant for customer service.
What the f*ck was she planning on doing?? i don't see how anyone could think that was a good idea at ALL.
Ouch, That's Got To Hurt
My dad, influenced partly by Bad Boys 2, decided to mess with my boyfriend on my first date by acting like a hard-@ss. He filled a whiskey bottle with tea, and when he answered the door he chugged the whole thing while staring my boyfriend down, then tried to break the bottle over his own head. The date was canceled due to the hospital trip, and I became known as the girl with the batshit insane father. "Don't concuss yourself this time" became the running joke once I was able to get a date again.
Trick Or Tramp
When I was 8 (yes, 8 years old) I was OBSESSED with the new Charlie's Angels movie with Cameron Diaz, Lucy Lu, and Drew Barrymore.
There's a scene in the movie where Drew is dressed in a patriotic jumpsuit at Nascar racetrack and I really wanted to have that outfit for my Halloween costume. My mom is a costumer and, God bless her, made my costume from scratch to resemble Drew's jumpsuit.
Well, as you can probably imagine, an 8 year old girl does not have the cleavage to fill that jumpsuit out. So my mother decided to add MASSIVE fake tits to this costume. I was mortified and for some reason she would not take them out. So for Halloween that year, I had my arms crossed all of trick or treating. I still look back at the pictures from that year with deep anxiety.
Edit: adding sh*t quality pic of shame.
This Should Remain Private, Period.
My mom told everyone (20-30) people I got my period.
My mother did this too. Called everyone she knew. Smh.
Mine did the same thing...knowing I was a very private person. Like it wasn't bad enough I had to share a room with a younger sister opposite in personality, but to go and tell people that? Still angry with her about it 20+ years later.
Quiet The Scene-Stealer
My mom went through this phase where she would talk during movies, specifically about what's going on in the movie. She was also terrible at paying attention to what was going on so often times what she was explaining was incorrect.
In addition, she would try to talk over the movie. Mom would occasionally have to yell to make sure she was heard over the action scenes.
Imagine, if you will, watching the aftermath of the stampede scene from the Lion King and the person next to you yelling "SIMBA IS SAD BECAUSE HER DAD DIED."
Haunted For Life
My 350 pound mother streaked in front of my boyfriend and my friends for 100 bucks. I was only 16, and that image still haunts me.
The Call That Killed A Career
She googles my boss's phone number, called him in his office, asked him to put me on the phone. In his office. I was in a meeting with a client, I didn't answer her call on my cellphone, in the middle of a work day.
She wanted to b*tch about my step-father, and wanted to talk now. No emergency or anything. She just wanted to talk and gave zero sh*t about the consequence of her actions, as per f*cking usual.
And that's the day my boss and pretty much the entire company lost respect for me. When the mom of their coworkers called him on his boss's office, to talk about personal sh!t.
A few months later, I resigned. There was nowhere to go in that place anymore...
What A Pain In The Flash
When I was 10 or so, I was struggling with being too big for kids' clothes and too skinny for most juniors' clothes. I was trying on this dress with a mesh area around the neck in the department store dressing room, and it was so big on me that my nipples literally showed through the mesh part that was supposed to be around my collarbones. Kids that age are moody, so I just lost it in frustration and started crying. My mom was like "Oh, just let me see" but I didn't want her to see because that meant showing the whole fitting area my nipples. Finally I showed her and when she saw how upset I was, instead of comforting me, she decided to mimic me, fake-cry in my voice saying "OH MY GOD EVERYONE CAN SEE MY NIPPLES" and flash everyone in the dressing room.
Your mom flashed everyone?
Yes. It was horrible. She was wearing a beige see-through bra that was actually the same color as the mesh yoke, so it was very on point tbh.
When Reality Is A Nightmare
When I was young we had a pajama day at school but I always just wore my boxers to sleep. Well obviously a kid can't show up to school in just underwear but I was too little/dumb to understand that. Why my mom allowed me to go and even drove me there, I have no idea. It was the most embarrassing day of my life, and the school had to call my parents to come pick me up halfway through the day
Edit to answer some questions: I was in elementary school, but I can't remember if it was 1st or 2nd grade. And the school didn't notice or care until halfway because I was eating lunch in the cafeteria and kids were staring at me, some adult must have noticed then.
I'm so sorry you went through that, I've had actual nightmares of going to school in my underwear, that's so f*cked up...
Worst Thanksgiving Ever
Tell everybody at Thanksgiving dinner at her boyfriend's house about my tween bout with anorexia. I didn't want to be there in the first place, and she just kept going on and on about how I had carrots for dinner for a year until I had to shout at her to stop.
What was the aftermath if you shouting at her?
To her credit, she was immediately embarrassed when she realized what she was doing, and apologized profusely.
At least you had the nerve to shout at her. Good on ya.
Careful The Things You Say, Children Will Listen
My father was a huge racist and used pejorative terms to describe other people.
I knew about the bad words for African Americans, Chinese people, and Japanese people so I never said them. Little me didn't know about the other words.
I used one in class to answer a question my history teacher asked and he was properly horrified. I was immediately removed from class and my confused self was grilled for hours about my word usage. I finally said I don't know what I did wrong, my dad says it all of the time to describe people from that country. They called my mom, I had to go home.
There was a shouting match between my parents and my dads mother that night and I was beaten soundly by my father.
Edit: JFC, fine. The word was "hadji". Also, I learned that it might not be as bad as I was lead to believe. Always learning something new on Reddit! Thanks y'all!
I had C cup boobs when I was eleven years old.
My mom loved to LOUDLY talk about them to anyone who would listen. "Yeah, she's only eleven! You wouldn't think from the way she's filled out up top! Hehehehururhurhurhur."
Then I'd start crying from the humiliation and she'd tell me to "lighten up."
That is sooooo not right. I developed early too, and it's bad enough when you're the only girl in class with boobs without someone pointing it out. I can't even imagine going through that.
I'm 5'11" and a f*cking Amazon. I had my period at 10, D cups at 11 and I was always the tallest girl. I was made fun of a lot though in Middle school. I do not speak to my father anymore for other various reasons but the mentality that sh*t does for a kid is f*cked up.
Scarred For Life
My mum pulled up my skirt, causing me to involuntarily flash a room full of people, at a Christmas dinner. I was absolutely mortified. She wanted to check for self harm scars on my thighs, apparently. I've never self harmed before. She should not be allowed to consume alcohol.
Edit, to answer the FAQs in the replies: I was 18, and I was wearing underwear.
When I was 5 or so my pre-k did a play based on Noah's ark (it was a pre-k attached to a church).
We were instructed that our costume was supposed to be rain coats/rain boots/umbrellas. I didn't have any of those things but begged my Dad to get me at least one of them so I'd fit in and follow the guidelines.
Fast-forward: the night of the play. I'm frantically scanning the audience because my Dad is ALWAYS late.
He finally shows up and brings me: a life jacket. I had to stand up there with all the kids in their little raincoats in a life jacket. I was really embarrassed. Dad's defense was that I was the only kid who would have survived the flood. 😂
I can laugh now but I sure wasn't laughing then.
I was 10 years old and and my 2 best friends (girl and boy) were sleeping over that night and my dad, the oversharer that he is, proceeds to tell my friends the story on how I was conceived in the back of a car on a cold night somewhere. I was so mortified and my friends were just as uncomfortable as I was and we collectively agreed to ignore the whole ideal. Also he brought the cake out to the lounge wearing only his undies and a bow tie. It was a rough night.
Everybody Saw. Everybody Heard.
My mother insisted on seeing exactly what I bought for clothes to make sure they weren't too baggy until I went away to college. When I was 17, we were buying jeans at the Gap, and when I wouldn't basically do a fashion show for her for every pair of pants I tried on, she crawled her 58-year-old self under the door of the dressing room where I was trying them on. I'm a guy, and the dressing room had a line out the door. Everybody saw. Everybody heard.
EDIT: Also, "All of your jeans are in the laundry. Just wear a pair of mine!"
EDIT2: "Your waist is two inches above your belly button, not halfway between your belly button and your penis."
Oh hi there, seems like we have the same mother.
Mom, Get Out Of My Hair!
I came home from school with head lice. Instead of telling the teacher, who would send a letter home to everyone without specifically naming which child they noticed had lice, my mother rang every person in my class that she had the phone number of. She would have a chat with the parent all "yeah she has head lice so you need to check your kid". I probably got it from someone in my class and the whole class likely already had lice but kids don't realize that so the whole class were calling my dirty and saying I infected them. It was horrible. I was hysterically crying while she called people
Edit: didn't expect this to get noticed so to address the concerns. She never did anything bad ever in my life except this, she kept saying "don't be stupid I'm just telling their mothers so they can sort it" and presumably didn't expect them to tell their 7 or 8 year olds who it was. Clearly someone did because the whole class knew it was me by the next day. Seems there's a lot of comments below with similar stories of adults just having no clue about how oddly shameful it is to have lice when you're little which sucks. But kids will jump on anything to be mean sometimes.
Thanks for messing it up for everyone else.
Most of us have no problem following the rules, but there are few out there that test every restriction, bend each policy, or outright break a rule without thinking of the consequences. Usually it's someone just acting the fool or doing something profoundly idiotic. When it's so bad that a new rule not only has to be applied to them, but to everyone else after them, we can't help but be bitter. Just remember, behind every ridiculous rule is a village idiot who made it necessary.
Redditor u/rochelleskincareasli asks:
Can't Handle Being An Adult
We just lost remote working privileges cuz someone in a different office can't handle being an adult.
Same here. Used to be that I could pack up my laptop, tell my supervisor I'd be online remote tomorrow, and just work from home.
Then some f*ckwit confused his work laptop with his personal and watched a sh*t ton of porn on his work laptop on the clock. A week later and all of our laptops and docking stations are gone and replaced with towers.
What A Pain In The Class
My university dorm orientation meeting was full of weirdly specific rules. The ones I can remember are:
- No pickaxes (some student attacked another student with a pickaxe)
- No piranhas (other fish were allowed but it turns out dangling sensitive ... parts into piranha tanks is irresistible to certain college students)
- No pooping in the showers
- No lowering/raising things into your room via the window (my best friend's dad turned out to possibly be the reason for this one, he used to sneak beer in via rope and bucket)
- Please for the love of god don't poop in the showers
Please for the love of god don't poop in the showers
WTF!! Why won't they allow you to waffle stomp?
The Wrong Girl
Valentine's Day is newly not allowed at my school because last year kids kept cutting girls' balloons. One kid did that to the wrong girl, and the next day she came to school with a knife and stabbed him.
holy sh*t, that went from 0 to 100 real f*ckin' fast.
The Long And Shorts Of It
I work in a warehouse I'm not allowed to wear shorts in because one day the bosses came around and decided it didn't look professional for the shippers to be wearing shorts. Keep in mind there are only 4 of us here and the boss only comes to visit once a year or so, we also only sell to stores and very rarely have to deal with the end user. Makes +30C days kinda suck.
Edit: ok guys I'm taking you up on your suggestions and buying a kilt.
Does Their Case For Safety Hold Water?
I can't bring my water bottle on the plane because someone decided that it'll be a good idea to hijack some planes back in 2001.
Nooo no no that was from a different guy who tried to assemble a bomb in the airplane bathroom. They looked at his ingredients and were like "WE ARE BANNING ALL OF THIS! WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT A LIQUID?? WE ARE BANNING THAT PHASE OF MATTER"
I gotta mention Hannibal Buress' bit about TSA, a classic. I wrote the all-caps quote with his inflection in mind.
It's even worse: there was never even any concrete evidence that the plot ever even existed, and it can't actually work in real life.
Oh, and even if it did, the existing security regulations at the time were enough to stop it.
It Only Takes One Guy
I work for a government office through a dispatch company. Half of the people who work in my same position are through the same dispatch company, and the other half are private hires. Due to a rule with the dispatch company, we're not allowed to own or operate vehicles to go to/from work, but private hires can. Until recently this was fine, since the government office reimbursed the people who HAVE to use public transport, as well as any private hires who opt to use public transport. The people with cars were also compensated, but often to a lesser degree since it tends to cost them less to go to work.
Last winter, one private hire was in a car crash (on personal time/weekend, not en route to work) and DEMANDED that the government office pay for the repairs his vehicle needed, citing how it wasn't fair that the dispatch employees/public transport users were reimbursed more for travel when he had to "pay for his car's upkeep out of pocket." He was so aggressive about it that they changed the rule, and now they will only reimburse up to $3 a DAY, with a monthly cap of $70.
It costs me $240 to get to work every month, and this was a big hit for me financially. So, f*ck that guy.
If You Drop Too Much, They Drop The Policy
Someone told me this story. At one factory where they make Coke, they let you keep any of the bottles that dropped. So, meaning it was free. When they let this happen people would intentionally drop the bottles to take home. Then they took away the generous policy.
they let you keep any of the bottles that dropped.
Yeah, I don't know how they didn't see that one coming though.
Even Google had to stop their "free dinner delivery when working late" policy because people were staying just late enough for the policy, ordering enough for their whole families, and promptly leaving when the food arrived. A small minority of people just f*ck everything up for everyone.
Benny Hill Chicken
No backpacks in the gym, ever. Because of one guy.
It was the homecoming pep rally and the principal had come up to the mic for his speech. Suddenly there was a sound of wings flapping and squawking. As if out of nowhere, a live chicken was released onto the gym floor. The principal, vice principal, and several staff members began attempting to catch the chicken. Then it got better.
The kid in charge of the music was in cahoots with the chicken kid. He immediately switched the music to the Benny Hill theme. So the administration is literally chasing a chicken around the gym to the Benny Hill music. It was chaos.
No more backpacks in the gym.
absolute legend. totally with it.
If The Pants Fit...
In the Teletech company handbook it clearly states that vintage golf pants from a thrift store are NOT considered dress casual because of one *sshole. I am that *sshole.
👏👏👏 I worked for an office that tie and jacket were required and this old hippie guy I worked with would go to goodwill and thrift stores and buy the worst looking they had just to prove a point 😁
It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Gets Hurt
Everyone played Runescape in the computer lab when I was in middle school. One kid would try to look over your shoulder at your hands as you typed your password. This caused a couple fist fights. Runescape was promptly banned.
My husband's work used to give each worker a $50 grocery gift card to use toward their Christmas dinner. People complained about having to pay tax on that gift card so they took it away, now we get nothing. What an improvement, thanks guys!
Yup. Some people will complain about anything. Somehow people procreate with these people and I will never understand why.
You Can't Make This Stuffed Up
You ever looked at the US tax code? Probably not. But if you looked closely, you'd see it's the ultimate example of rules being changed due to one stupid/clever/greedy person.
My favorite example is the age old practice of Taxidermy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJP1DphOWPs). Did you know you can write off the cost of having an animal preserved, provided you then donated the animal to a museum or university? Still to this day!
I told you that so I could tell you that specific portion of the tax code used to be a lot less specific. So much so, that a number of people opted to book 12+ person, 2 week long safari excursions, complete with lodging, airfare, meals, booze and more, then would shoot a lion on the final day, send it to a taxidermist, donate the now preserved corpse to a museum or university, and write off the entire 14 day trip, and all expenses, under that specific provision of the tax code. So a $500 write off became a $50,000 write off.
It Was Cold That Day, We Could Tell
My company no longer has a Halloween costume contest among the locations in the area because of me. We all dressed up as X-Men. I was Mystique. We got complaints.
Fake It Until You Break It
Local bar had wooden nickels that got you free drinks or could be used later if you didn't finish a bucket. Someone made counterfeits. They were good counterfeits, but just the same.
Ruined it for the entire bar! All for a $2.50 beer.
A bar I used to frequent (sadly long gone) had a weekday happy hour special: buy a drink at regular price, get a ticket for a second drink free. They were just your typical carnival tickets that came off a massive roll.
Lots of us regulars would not even use the ticket the same day, but hoard them for later (which was allowed, they could be used at any time before midnight on any day). We were broke college kids and the hoarded tickets were used on days when our money was thin. Had probably a couple dozen or so in my apartment at any given time.
Some *sswipe bought a roll of tickets at the Dollar Tree, didn't even bother to try and get the same colour/design, didn't bother to try forging the owner's signature on the back of each ticket, didn't bother to try roughing them up (the real tickets were re-used and in bad shape).
A Cold-Hearted Lesson
So I was around 11/12 years old. It was winter here in Sweden, and often around -10C or colder. When arriving to school, most of us would rush inside to escape the cold. Well, some mannerless b*tches kept misbehaving, so the teachers decided to lock the doors until the first class started. All of us had to wait outside in the cold.
I distinctively remember one day when it was so cold that even my friend's dark brown hair and nearly black eyelashes turned white. Yet the damn teachers Still. Would. Not. Let. Us. Inside.
No body is alone in this.
These hit home for a lot of people. Unfortunately, the way we feel about our body affects how we interact with others. With too much focus on the physical in society, intimacy can be a challenge. Especially when we feel like we are always hiding a part of ourselves, literally.
The good news is as isolated as we might feel sometimes, no one is alone in our imperfections. We often exaggerate these 'secrets' in our minds and blow them way out of proportion. It turns out that most of the time, these embarrassing secrets don't matter to the people who care about you, and if they do, then these people shouldn't matter.
Redditor u/HalloumiBus asks:
There are some moments in life that we want to forget, but there are even more we want others will forget.
There are some moments in life that we want to forget, but there are even more we want others will forget. Whether it's facing the consequences of that spicy food we ate or downing that last regretful shot of tequila, our bodies can quickly go from being our friend to becoming our worst enemy. It's good to have a sense humor about these things, they're only natural after all. Here are the best of the worst moments that truly, ahem, stunk.
Redditor u/madbubers asks: