Vulnerable People Reveal The Hardest Thing They've Admitted To Themselves
Vulnerable People Reveal The Hardest Thing They've Admitted To Themselves
The truth hurts. The truth can be one of the most difficult things to face in life. And the truth can also set you free. In fact the truth in any form is the gateway to self freedom. We all do wrong in life and hiding away our craven thoughts and mistakes can compile on so many things like guilt and sadness, which makes the situation so much more unbearable. Sometimes the hardest things in life to understand are also the greatest learning lessons.
That the only way to stop being lonely was to act like I wasn't lonely in the first place. It totally worked, I even wrote a post about it on /r/socialskills if you want some more details.
FOLLOW THE TRAIL...
That something was definitely wrong. I bought some new shoes and it was causing tingling in my feet and legs. So I relaced them but it didn't change things.
As the days went by at work it got worse and started to make my legs go tingling further and further up. So finally I decide to get new shoes on my weekend. The next day my hands start tingling.
The day after that it has traveled all the way up my arm and so I could feel it in my pec area.
So this was the point, both my entire legs and my arms had started to lose feeling I finally told my wife "okay time for a doctor, my bad for me not addressing this a few weeks ago." Turned out to be MS
DON'T MAKE IT A REALITY...
Just because something COULD happen, doesn't mean it WILL. You don't always get closure, relationships don't always pan out the way you thought, your life doesn't always follow the script, it's not a movie.
But, I don't let it bring me down, because it holds true for good AND bad things. Sometimes, I've been so sure something would never happen, and then it just does, completely at random. I just try my best to be open to all the twists and turns life throws my way.
I wasn't the perfect friend in an unappreciative world, I was actually bad at being a friend and an annoying person in general.
I was always thinking, "I am such a nice person, I am so thoughtful, I am such a good listener, yet people don't want to stay friends with me for some reason - they think I am uncool and can't think for themselves." I guess I was like a NiceGuyTM but in the friendship sense. I wasn't being such a great friend really, I was using being nice in a transactional way, I thought: I am nice to you, you will be friends with me. I wasn't being thoughtful for people because I really cared, it was just another bit of good will I wanted to trade for companionship. And I wasn't a "good listener," I just felt that it was what people wanted so I gave to them.
My kindness was shallow and craven, and people could tell. I didn't realize that people don't want some sad, overly-sensitive person -- at least not emotionally healthy people. They want people who are fun, who can roll with the punches, who don't make you feel like you need to boost their flagging ego constantly by gushing over their cloying gestures. Friendships are about balance, give and take. People who make good friends, people with healthy egos, don't like to be made to feel like they are the taker all the time or on the receiving end to friendly gestures that are just too much.
IT'S QUIET TIME...
I talk too loud, getting overly excited and brash, while talking about topics that interest me in social settings. Alcohol also increases my volume and assertiveness.
STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES...
That I'm not as smart as I think I am. I'm not always right. In fact it's better to keep in mind that there's always a possibility that I'm wrong. It opens my mind a lot more, makes me more understanding and just less condescending in general.
JUST SAY NO!
It's okay to say no. I'm a people pleaser and it's been an uphill battle for me to learn to stand up for myself and not let people take advantage of me.
GET OUT OF YOUR WAY...
That some of my patterns of behaviors and thinking were destructive and only resulted in my sabotaging myself.
However, it's also the best thing I've admitted to myself because it allowed me to look at the root of the problem and address it. There's a lot of work to be done, but I believe it'll only help better my relationship with myself and others, and help me become my best self.
That just because someone is fundamentally a wonderful person, it doesn't mean that they're the right person for me.
Sometimes it's fairer to break things off rather than just spending the rest of your life sort-of-happy-maybe-if-you-squint-a-bit. Better for all concerned.
A lot of my problems are my fault.
Some are, some aren't.
I read in a book that it doesn't matter whether or not something was our fault. What matters is that no matter what happens to us (and who was at fault), we must take responsibility for how we respond.
MISTAKES GET MADE...
That i officially screwed up my college degree by a year. It was hard to gulp down that news.
That even though I have a good heart, I've done some crappy things that I can't take back.
WHEN IT'S DONE... IT'S DONE!
I'm not getting a second chance with her, no matter how badly I want it. She has moved on and completely forgotten about me.
HEY GIRL HEY!
The gay wasn't going away.
That was a tough thing to admit to myself.
Same here. Took me 8 or 9 years to admit that one to myself after the first realization that I pushed right down to the bottom of my subconscious. To be fair, I was only 13 or 14 when it struck me for the first time, attending a catholic school and with a publicly anti gay marriage father. Years later I was talking with a girl online who I thought was cool, and she was talking about her experience of being gay. And I was like...wait, that's me too...
CHANGE THE MINDSET...
That I am my own biggest problem, and will never be happy because I don't feel I deserve it.
DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY...
That I feel numb inside. You know when people say jokes or you say jokes and your laugh feels empty? But you can fake it to make it sound like it's real? Or when you smile and it doesn't reach your eyes? Or when people ask you how you feel about them and you just lie because you don't feel anything at all when looking at them or even when you try so hard to say anything? That's what I feel everyday and I had to admit to myself that I am not happy and that I don't recall when the last time I truly was.
KEEP THE TOXIC BACK...
That the 13 year friendship I had with one of my best friends was toxic and irreparable. I always made excuses for it because of the length of time and the closeness of our friendship, but when I took a step back I realized it had all the clear red flags of an emotionally abusive relationship. That's when I realized I really didn't want the emotional and mental weight of being in that friendship anymore.
That I already had enough cats.
YOU ONLY NEED YOU...
I might die alone and that's ok. Living a full life might be enhanced by someone else but it's not a requirement.
That not everyone likes me and it's ok to say no to people.
Laws should always protect the people, ALL the people!
Laws are amiable. We know this. They often change with the times, with enough revolution that is. Laws are there to protect and serve, however they can be too complex and just downright odd and often absurd.