Weirded Out People With Step Parents Younger Than Them Reveal What It's Really Like
Weirded Out People With Step Parents Younger Than Them Reveal What It's Really Like
They say age is just a number, but what if that number belongs to your step-parent and it's smaller than yours? How would you feel about your parent? How would you feel about the younger person they married?
Reddit user HotPocketPotato asked "Redditors who have a Step-Father/Mother younger than you, what's your story?"
Here are some honest answers from people whose parents opted for the May-December romance route.
My dad is 71. Six months ago he left my mom for a 25 year old. I'm 33 and my sister is 28.
His new girlfriend is 6 months pregnant. They're not married because my parents' divorce hasn't gone through yet, but I guess once that happens I'll have a step mom who is 8 years younger than me and a newborn half sister.
This will be my dad's 3rd marriage.
The story is simply that my father is irresponsible. It was just the two of us when I was growing up, but he made it clear he was resentful having to take care of me. He's in his 60s. I'm 34, my older half sister turns 40 in a few days. My youngest half brother just turned 2. I'm sure I have siblings I don't even know about. His current wife is maybe 30 and by far the oldest woman he's ever been with. He cheated on his last wife with her. His last wife was 19 when they met. I always make sure that his baby mamma's know that I'll always be there for them and their kids when he leaves, because he's GOING to leave. It's interesting watching how surprised they are when he does.
Okay, so my dad loves controlling people.
He used to always go on about wanting a Chinese wife because she'd be really grateful and meek enough towards him that he wouldn't get any arguments or independent thought from her unlike an American/English wife.
Well not long after declaring the above, he met and married a 21 year old Chinese woman (he's late 50s). I was 23 at the time. The way he treats her in public is revolting, he is so condescending and talks real slow and firm like someone would to a toddler. He tells her off and calls her names.
It was so sad to see, I don't know for sure but she may have left him as, when I was last in contact with him, he never brought her with him or spoke about her.
I'm a guy, 23. My dad is 64, was 40 when I was born, and last year he married a woman who was 22 at the time.
My parents weren't really together, never got married, and split soon after I was born. My mom's black, and my dad's an Iranian who came to the U.S. in the 70s as a student and never left (revolution in Iran meant he was stuck with no visa). My dad left school, was pretty transient, moved up and down the East coast, and eventually settled in New Jersey, where I'm from.
I didn't keep much contact with my dad, but I started talking to him again a few years ago. He didn't have much companionship, so eventually he went back to Iran, met a woman who already had a kid and was divorced, looking to make a better life for herself. So my dad married her, and she and her son came over just before the Trump ban.
My dad talks pretty freely about his feelings toward his wife, and hers toward him. He'll say things like, "Obviously she doesn't love me. She just used me to come to the U.S."
I found out my dad died because he stroked out while in a motel with someone younger than me. This was (to our knowledge) the third time he'd cheated in a long term relationship, and he was already married to someone 20 years younger than him.
I'm 34, my dad is 65 and he's in a relationship with someone who's 26 (so 8 years younger than me).
They've been together for 3-3.5 years and are happy together, and I'm happy for them.
At first it was a bit awkward for me, up to the point that it took me a half year before I decided to meet them together (at first I just met with my dad alone every week). I was mainly worried about my dad (still am, a bit), he came out of a long relationship that went really bad (got cheated on after 8-9 years) and he had a really rough time with it. So I was scared he would end up in the same depression if this one went bad as well (not because of cheating, but the age difference eventually could catch up to them, as an issue).
I've spoken openly about my worries with my dad, a few times, along the last 3 years, and it will take time for them to actually go away... There's a 38 year age gap and my dad, at some point, will get health issues because of age and I'm cautious of what will happen. Both of them assure me they love each other and that they'll take care of each other, no matter what.
I fully believe they believe that, I fully believe they love each other, that's very apparent from the way they interact. And I'm very happy they feel that way with each other and found that happiness.
But I'll always be worried that when the typical health issues start, someone will have to do the day to day care and that brings a lot of strain on a relationship, even couples who've been together for 30+ years and are roughly the same age. In this case, they'd potentially be together for less than 10 years when it starts (I hope my dad remains 100% healthy till he's 100, but realistically...).
So, happy they are happy, cautiously optimistic for the future.
My parents married young, as was typical in the 60s. A decade into it he was with our babysitter. He eventually left our mom and married her. That only lasted a few years. Dad then played knight in shining armor to a succession of young women 'down on their luck', 'on the outs with their parents', 'raising kids on their own with no other help', etc. Same pattern over and over. Swore he wasn't intimate with them but who knows. They were always about the same age - late teens to early twenties - no matter how old my dad got, or how much older we, his children, were compared to them.
Ultimately his work took him to the Philippines...ah, you can see where this is going, can't you...and became involved with a young woman there. He said they were just friends and all his many trips there were to help her and her family. We rolled our eyes. Eventually Dad informed us he had married her so she could come to Canada for a better life. She is about five years younger than the youngest one of us.
I don't have any beef with her. She's a kind and decent person, and hardworking, albeit too submissive and deferential to my dad. I'm sure that's part of what he likes about her. My problem is with my dad alone, who has repeatedly proven himself to be a self-centered narcissist fixated on younger women. He congratulates himself for 'saving' all these people and helping them out of their miserable lives when he's never had the time of day for his own kids or grandkids. He's lied and broken promises his whole life, and I have no respect for him. When I married, I would not let him walk me down the aisle.
Dad is a serial monogamist? He has been married 4 times. This last wife is 5 yrs younger than me. She is 25. My dad is 52. She gave birth to my brother last year which resulted in an interesting conversation with my kids. Me showing my 6 and 5 yr old's a picture of their new uncle.
Me: look guys this is your new uncle isn't he cute?
Kids: that's not an uncle THAT'S A BABY!
Older and Younger
My mother's husband is two years younger than my husband. My husband is seven years older than me. So my mom's guy isn't younger than me but it still is a weird dynamic.
My mom jokes that I always dated older and she always dated younger so it was bound to happen. We actually made a pact when I was twenty that I wouldn't date anyone older than her and she promised she wouldn't date anyone younger than me. We both had some close calls but held true to the pact.
The only really weird thing is watching our husband's interact. They are serious best friends whenever there is a family get together. If we can't find one we look for the other. There isn't a cookout or birthday party where they decide to give each other piggyback rides or cake eating contest or something silly and fun. My favorite thing is when my husband yells "You aren't my real dad, you can't tell me what to do! ". They are goofballs.
I'm 27 and my stepmom is 26. My dad (54) brought her over from the Philippines and they've been married for almost 2 years now.
It was definitely different at first, though I didn't have much room to talk considering I've known a couple older gentlemen in a very biblical sense. I was most worried about my dad getting hurt or taken advantage of. They just didn't seem to have much in common other than they both like to watch 90-day fiancé.
Now that the newness has worn off I can see my dad was very lonely and needed companionship. My auntie-mama is a lovely young woman who grew up on a poor island with about 15 families on it. She laughs when people call it paradise because she says it's very hot and there is nothing to do (electricity there is only from 5pm-10pm). So I see their marriage as more of an arrangement to better both their situations. They may not be madly in love but I can tell they care for each other.
30 and 55
So my brother-in-law is 30, and his wife is 55. She has 7 children from 4 previous marriages/relationships. Three of her seven are over 30 years old. The look on their faces when they saw my brother-in-law at the wedding was something to behold.
After my mom and her 2 sisters had graduated from high school my grandparents got divorced. A few years later my grandpa married one of my aunt's friends from high school. According to my mom, it was a real big deal that had a lot of people talking and pissed off. My aunts all hated her instantly, and one of them even did the old "put sugar in the gas tank" thing. Oddly enough as it may seem, my grandpa is still married to her, and my step grandma is a pretty cool person. Everyone seems to get along now. Unfortunately my grandpa has dementia pretty bad right now, and my step grandma is pretty diligent about caring for him so I have a lot of respect for her.
My dad is married to a 25 yr old waitress. I am 26. When I was 18/19, me and my family used to go to the place she waited at and every time I would silently pray we were going to be seated in her section (because I had a huge crush.) My dad would always be a dad and drop some dad jokes, waitress style. I always thought she was laughing at these jokes to be polite; turns out she thought they were genuinely funny. They got together 5 yrs ago. He still goes to the same place to eat, and she's still his waitress... the jokes are worse now though.
My dad married a woman 7 years younger than I am. They have a 35+ age difference. Their daughter is now two years older than my son. They live in the country where I was born and I've only met her 2x.
My dad married someone who is not much older than me, she is younger than my brother. When they got married, she was 30, my brother was 32. My parents were married for 30 years, but no one was happier than my brother and I when they got divorced. I didn't care about the age difference, my dad seemed to be happy. I didn't really like her as a person, she's selfish, demanding, and generally just a whiner. One time she was visiting my husband, son, and I and she locked herself in the guest room, because she thought I hated her for trying to replace my mom. I tried harder to be nice to her after that, even if I didn't want to.
These days, they are separated, about to be divorced. My dad is in his 70s now, she's in her late 40s.
For about a year when I was 18 and my sister was 20, my 50 year old uncle started dating a 19 year old.
I will never forget when she was driving me and my cousins to a concert and she treated all of us including me like children. I at one point had to say "I've dated women older than you, please stop referring to me as a child."
I have a friend who is barely 20, and dating a 46 year old man. He has two sons, aged 20 and 23. They didn't take the news of him dating a girl younger than them well, and have apparently cut off complete contact with him now things have gotten serious. His ex wife thinks it's hilarious, They all think he's having a midlife crisis and think she's a gold digger.
Marriage of Convenience
My step-grandmother is a fifty-year-old biker chick, covered in tattoos, seven years younger than my mother.
My grandmother committed suicide in 2009, leaving my socially inept and cantankerous grandfather behind. He moved to a retirement community, where he's gotten in some trouble for shooting a fawn from his front porch with a shotgun.
A few years after my grandmother's death, he started proposing marriage to his housekeeper. He didn't want her to live with him. Just wanted to pass on his pension from working in the police department; only a spouse could inherit it, not children.
It took her many years, but eventually she accepted. No wedding. They're not really "together." But now my step-grandmother's younger than my mother.
I'm 35 and my dad's wife is 25. I now have a little sister that is 6.5 years younger than my son (he is 10). I always considered my dad an "old" dad when I was younger, always much older than my peers' fathers anyways, but now he is in his 70's and constantly tired from toddler antics.
Honestly, I love his new wife. She was not the one who broke up my parent's marriage, and is the sweetest person ever. She actively plays and interacts with my son, and would help with anything that I asked. She is genuine and kind. My mom feels the same way, and often has both my father and his wife join us for holidays. My Mom never begrudged my father's current wife, but it probably took around 10 years for her to have an amicable relationship with my dad. Honestly, I think she feels sorry for his current wife. Mom wants us to have a relationship with our new sister and does everything she can to foster that.
My mother is the young step-mother in this situation. My mom was my dad's third wife, and my older-half sister is only two years younger than my mom. While my parents were married, my mom and half-sister were best friends. It somehow helped that they were close in age and my half-sister liked my mom better than our dad. When they had kids at the same time, it strengthened their bond more.
Now I'm close with my niece, who is older than me. She looks more like my full-siblings than I do. My full-sister and niece look like twins.
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.