Sometimes, we wonder what goes through people's minds before they open their mouths.
Like, we get it, you tried to be nice. But it didn't quite work and now this is weird. You have made it weird.
So what exactly constitutes a weird compliment?
Here were some of the answers.
I have a handlebar mustache which routinely draws compliments, but this was a knock-out.
Some old farmer dude with two teeth, wearing ripped up overalls and smelling of bacon walked up to me in a Dollar General in rural Arkansas and said:
"Man, you could strap them things on a bike and ride it all the way to Germany!"
The hot girl in my class was sitting behind me and was like, "Mmm you smell like my dad..." in a very sultry voice.
That takes daddy issues to a whole new level 😳
The Star Of My Face
"I've seen some 8/10 noses, and a couple 9/10 noses, but I've never seen a solid 10/10 nose before! You have the nicest nose I've ever seen!"
-very drunk/high guy who then gave me a fiver cause my nose was a "supermodel"
Somehow Made This About Me
"You. Are. Beautiful. I'm a New York cosmetologist, so I know beauty when I see it and you are beautiful." This was said to me when I was 18 by a woman who came into the store where I worked.
What makes it weird is that I ran into this woman again at the mall months later and she said the same thing, pretty much word for word, so I guess she was consistent, at least.
The Length Of Lung
Went to the doctor for a lung x-ray, he told me I have the "longest lungs" he'd ever seen. I'm 6'5" so maybe not too surprising, but still I didn't know how to respond.
I wouldn't worry about it. Just take a long deep breath and relax.
Once participated in a Shakespeare competition in high school. Some of the attractive theater club girls were in the room with me and saw me perform. I didn't think I did all that well, but one of the girls pulled me to the side afterwards and said, "Your acting made me horny." To this day it probably stands as one of the weirdest compliments (and probably one of the best) I've ever received.
"Zis is fashion," when complimenting my hair. My hair was in weird in in-between state because I had gotten my hair chemically straightened and my curly hair had begun to grow back. So it was half and half and I looked almost like I could be the lead singer of The Cure. I accompanied my friend to a really expensive hair salon in Beverly Hills because she had a gift certificate for a haircut and the owner was this older French dude. He saw me and LOVED my hair. He kept saying "Zis is fashion. ZIS is fashion. I must take picture of you.'' So I let him.
But I Date Him Anyway
My boyfriend is very socially (and in a way mentally) challenged due to a few things. A reoccurring theme is his bad habit to state things as matter of fact just as they come to mind, and compliment people badly. About a month into meeting him/talking I heard.. (not word for word on all of them)
"You're very jiggly." (He was looking at my arms while I was umbrella fighting with a mutual friend)
"Your hair smells like funny dots!! It's nice."
"Woah! You DO have big feet!"
"Your eyes are my favorite kind of brown! I've never seen it like that before."
"You're not skinny skinny, and that's okay. You're cute."
"Your dark circles make you look sick— but that's not a bad thing!!! Just don't be sick."
"You have very chubby cheeks. (He squints and nods) Yeah.. When you smile your face goes round."
He's a treasure.
A stoner guy named Kevin that used to work at a pizza place I worked at: "Yo. I'd high-five you even if you had sauce on your hands, man, 'cuz you're cool and not a pirate like Norm." Norm was the guy who usually ran our fryer. He did sort of look like a slightly larger, short-haired Jack Sparrow.
Kevin also drew a comic on the wall (in pencil) of me running over Hitler in my "pizza mobile" and then giving FDR a pizza, which could have been interpreted as a compliment on my patriotism and driving skills.
At my old job, my first manager was an older woman. (She retired after my first year or so there). I forget what I was talking about, but I called myself a nerd. Because, well, I am. Proud of it. She got this horrified look on her face and tried to insist I wasn't a nerd and I shouldn't talk about myself that way. She was old enough to where she had never heard "nerd" be used as anything but a fairly severe insult.
I wasn't really sure what to make of that, I just told her it was fine and nerd wasn't a bad thing to be anymore. I'll always remember that though. Thanks Dolly! I guess...
Once i went into a McDonalds by myself to get a burger meal, and this obviously drunk guy holding a coffee comes up to me and says "I like your hair" and i say "Thank You" Then he says "No thank you for your amazing hair." I ordered and got out of there as fast as i could. (Note: I was Only 12 years old)
Get Your Filthy Paws Off My Silky Locks
Every student had to choose a language class (Spanish, French, German) so for these classes, you weren't with your usual classmates, for me, the antisocial quiet guy, that basically meant friendships with those people did not go further than learning peoples names.
So, I'm sitting at a table that hosts four people, a square table with two pairs of chairs sitting opposite each other. Suddenly I feel something patting my head, I look up from my book to see this guy I barely know, standing up from his chair, leaning across the table to pat me on the head, then sit back down, look me straight in the eyes and say "you have really soft hair", I really have no idea how to react, so I just say "thanks" and go back to reading, now self-conscious about whether my table-mates are looking at my hair.
On The Radio, Whoah
Someone told me once out of nowhere that I had a really cool boisterous voice that belonged in radio. Guy I'd never met before either. Never would again.
It was a weird compliment, honestly, but one of the greatest ones I've ever received because I'd been insulted about my voice for years and felt a little embarrassed about it.
Just Left Of A UnibrowGiphy
This friend I had walked up to me, started at my face then went "Oh my gosh I LOVE your eyebrows!!!" After that she would always talk about them and ask others if they agreed with her about it. I don't even do anything with my eyebrows though and they're actually quite ugly. I have a scar going through the middle of one and it makes some of the hair really messy, looking close it's almost a unibrow and they're completely different shapes.
I'm Better Than THAT French Teacher
This was a while ago but,
So I when I was in guiding, it was maybe around Christmas. We were writing cards to each other, having everyone say a nice thing about the person the cards. Everyone had to sign and say something nice on Everyone's card, even your own.
On mine, when saw it, someone wrote "I think your hair is NOT a wig, unlike my French teacher."
I felt happy, until they covered that message with stickers.
I Would Literally Murder For Your Hair
Im a long dark haired metalhead guy, and not at all to brag, but i have very nice hair. Its my most complimented feature and i have heard a lot of complements about it, a lot of wierd things and a lot of repeated things. One fairly weird one i hear a lot is "man, you have nicer hair than any of the girls around here." Another one is "you know a lot of people would kill for hair like that." All this also frequently goes with complete strangers asking to feel it (and if youre a girl and you ask me and i smile real big before saying yes know that i think you are pretty and you are making my week) and describing it like its a horse or sexy woman like "majestic" or "voluptuous" or "magnificent"
All that said, the weirdest one came from a very friendly crack whore. Several months I was doing a college job at a restaurant in my home town, and this particular time it was on the ghetto side of town. For the first time in my life i was fairly skinny and i still had a short beard. She saw me and she said in a high pitched voice "WOO-ooh! You look like Jesus but pretty!"
She kept going with things like that and i laughed and played along uncomfortably until my boss distracted her and saved me. Thank you for the sentiment, lady, I do appreciate it.
Minimum wage is often paid by some of the most physically and emotionally intensive work—service industry jobs. Having to work in a hot kitchen all day or deal with irate customers while being paid less than you need to survive is not exactly the best situation to be in.