People Share The Weirdest Present They've Ever Received
Gift giving can be rough. That's why so many people just opt for gift cards - it's easier than wracking your brain trying to come up with that perfect thing that the giftee might have anyway. Some people opt for "creative" gifts instead ... and those people are awesome.
Okay, so the gifts themselves might be awful, but the stories they leave you with are absolutely worth it.
Reddit user Daveyyyyyyyy asked:
The answers didn't stay on birthday gifts for long. Turns out, there's apparently never a wrong time to give the gift of weird.
A Signed Cereal Box
When I turned 18, about twenty of my friends threw a surprise party in my basement and as a gift, one of my friends gave me one of those mini boxes of coco crispies, and everyone at the party signed the box before I got there. His explanation was: "I wasn't even told we were throwing you a surprise party until like an hour and a half ago so I panicked and looked around my house for a good last minute gift, then I saw that box sitting on the kitchen counter and it was just meant to be"
I still have that box sitting on my dresser to this day.
My significant other's parents got us like 15 sex related items for her birthday. Cuffs, paddles, whips, leather straps, two vibrators, lube, etc.
We had to just sit there and open each item, thank them, and then move on to the next item hoping it would be like a shirt or something... Nope
Reject Pile Underwear
My mom once got me misshapen underwear.
It was sold at dollar stores and was like a reject pile where one leg hole was very big and one was very tiny.
She got me like 5 pairs of it - also once someone gave me a half burned candle.
Grandma And Her Gifts
When I turned twelve, my grandmother gave me one half of a pool cue (she'd unscrewed it and gave me one portion). My younger brother received the other half for his ninth birthday a month later. We did not own a pool table.
Loooots of stories about grandma and her gifts.
A bag of combs. My grandmother is a retired hairdresser. She is also one to save everything. Well, during my horribly awkward teenage years, I'd begun using product to style my hair in an attempt to look cool. Grandma took notice and gifted me a plastic freezer bag absolutely filled with used combs and partially-used hair styling products that she'd saved from her salon over the years. Grandma: "...well, you know, you're just so into your looks these days, I thought you could put those to use."
One year she gave me two shirts and a pair of plastic flip-flops, so I could look stylish in the summer. The shirts were not only horribly patterned, but were size XLT, which she'd originally purchased for my Grandpa, but they were too big for him
Grandma decided to give them to me, claiming: "He'll grow into them!" I was eight years old. The sandals were very obviously a pair of complimentary flip-flops from a hotel my grandparents had visited back in the 60's. They were so old that they shattered - yes, shattered - when I put them on my feet.
The Barbara Bag. When I got my driver's license, Grandma thought she'd celebrate the occasion by gifting me a road safety kit (essentially a small bag filled with items one might need in the event of a car-related emergency). The only issue was that this kit was pink and filled with items specifically for a woman - i.e. pink jumper cables, pink gloves, pink flashlight, and, most importantly, feminine products. The kit bag also had the name "Barbara" embroidered on it. Opening that in front of my drunk uncles on Christmas Day is something I will not soon forget.
Weirdest - But Coolest
A fake ear made of silicon or something, with a Van Gogh birthday card inside which he wrote "I'll always be here to listen" He's my best friend, and that's the weirdest but coolest gift I've gotten.
The Priest And The Police
A mace. As in the medieval weapon. My brother made it. Mailed it to me. The mailman accidentally delivered to the rectory where the priest lived (I was living in a convent at the time). It had a good-natured, but profane, note included. The priest thought it was some kind of threat, and called the cops. Fun birthday.
I got an open bag of gum balls from my uncle and aunt once. Strangest part was that someone had chewed a few of the gum balls, rolled the chewed gum into a ball, and placed it back in the bag. The same uncle and aunty gave me a wrapped box of used toothbrushes a couple years back.
The Gift Of Me
A small whittled statue of...me. My cousin considers herself an artist and recently took up wood carving. She presented it to me at my birthday party we were holding in my backyard. Folks gathered around because usually she makes paintings of our beautiful Vermont countryside but the box obviously didn't hold a painting, I opened it and held up the small wooden statue of...me.
"You made the hands too big." cracked my wife.
I keep it in my camp on the lake. Creeps the hell out of me.
The Biggest Box
I was one of those kids that would just want to play with cardboard boxes all the time to make "cities" or "stores" or whatever I could out of cardboard. So for my 5th birthday my parents just got me the biggest cardboard box they could find. I was ecstatic.
My MIL got my husband a "I put ketchup on my ketchup" shirt in a XXXL. My husband HATES ketchup, and wears a medium.
My husband said: "That's funny because I hate ketchup."
His mom argued with him on and off the rest of the day about him loving ketchup.
The Alligator Guilt Trip
On my 12th birthday my father came home right around sunset and walked immediately up to me and handed me his keys.
"Go check out what's in the trunk." He said.
I immediately got suspicious, yet I was hopeful because it was my birthday.
I was putting the trunk key in on that huge old 1992 crown Victoria trunk lock and I could see him off to my right and a ways behind me. He was lighting a cigarette and nodding over my head at a neighbor on the other side of the car.
The neighbor, Bill, had a big grin and a tallboy of Lonestar.
I cracked open the trunk lid in the growing gloom. The lid seemed to take an eternity to get to the top of its arc and turn the trunk light on. When it did the 4 foot alligator in the trunk hissed like a 150 lbs of steam getting vented and it flopped up trying to get out of the trunk.
I screamed and ran away.
My dad and Bill laughed so hard that Bill pissed himself and dropped his beer. My dad accidentally dropped his cigarette too and that was just further fuel for the hilarity.
It turns out the alligator had his mouth duct taped shut and his front legs taped to his body. So I wasn't in any real danger. My dad and I released the gator at a local levy that needed help getting rid of nutria rats (supposedly, I'll never know if that was true.)
On the way back to town I asked "so what did you get me for my birthday?"
Dad then gave me a guilt trip on being too materialistic.
So weirdest gift, a four foot alligator and a guilt trip.
For my 17th birthday I was given a copy of Dragon Tales, the PBS kids show aimed at 5-7 year olds, on VHS, in 2006.
Those of us who live in New York live this truth on a daily basis.
Sometimes, you just meet a person who isn't quite all there. It's hard to tell at first, but then you talk with them for a little while and it just becomes abundantly clear if they're two eggs short of an omelette.
The stories of how you find out are so interesting. But yet, they teach us to look for clues when we interact with others.