Women Reveal The Worst 'Nice Guy' Experience They've Ever Had.
Of course women have to deal with a lot of jerks when it comes to dating, but people don't talk enough about self-proclaimed "nice guys" who feel entitled to date anyone because they're just "such good guys."
Truth is, they're anything but. Here are thirteen women's worst "nice guy" stories.
Many thanks to the Reddit user who posed this question and to those who responded. You can check out ore answers from the source at the end of this article!
1/13. It was high school. I considered the guy my best friend, and when he revealed that he had feelings for me I rejected him and asked if he was comfortable staying just friends. He INSISTED that it was cool that I didn't feel the same way and he wanted to keep hanging out platonically.
He was mostly pretty okay about it. Until I started seeing a girl. Then he actually said, "Wow, even girls are getting a shot with you before I do, huh?" he """joked""".
I told him that my new relationship was a secret because she and I were both still in the closet. He was the only one I told, since, you know... he claimed to be my best friend.
By the next week, everyone in our entire home town knew. Faced tons of backlash. Got homophobic slurs muttered about me in the hallways at school. Good times.
2/13. A long time ago, a guy in my group project insisted on driving me home afterwards because he didn't want me to walk in the rain. How nice of him!
The next time our group met up, he wanted to drive me home again but I declined because I was going to a friend's place. He blew up at me and said the only reason I wouldn't date him (first of all, a ride home is not a date, dude!!) was because he was Middle Eastern.
I already had a boyfriend at the time. Who was Lebanese. I thought that would shut him up, but then he said that white women shouldn't be with Arabic men! Like... you just wanted to date me a second ago, pal. Another dude in the group thankfully suggested subtly that we finish the project via email. A true bro. I'll never forget you, guy whose name I forgot.
3/13. When visiting my hometown, an old guy friend from high school contacted me saying him and a group of old high school buddies were going to a "coffee house" at our old school then to a bar after and they wanted me to come.
When I got there, it was just him. He told me the one person cancelled and the two others were running late and would meet us at a bar after the show. I always felt comfortable with this guy, so I didn't mind sitting in the back of the coffee house and catching up.
After the coffee house, he offered to follow me home so I could drop off my car. He didn't drink, but I did at the time. He said he would be my DD. I thought that would be alright. My mom knew my plans.
We get to the bar and the couple of friends are there waiting on us with drinks for me. I have about 4 mixed drinks. Our two friends take off, but my ride was finishing up a game of pool, so I waited. He ordered me another drink even though I said I had enough and got frustrated and offended that I wouldn't drink it since he paid for it. I caved in and drank it.
After driving me home, he tried to sleep with me in my driveway. Hands all over the place, kissing me while I pushed him away. I had to slap him across the face to get him to stop.
After slapping him, he said about how lucky I should feel because he was a really nice guy and treated me like a princess all night.
He was not a nice guy.
4/13. I used to work in IT Support, as the only girl in a team of 4. The men I worked with were lovely and super supportive, and we were a real close team.
Anyway we had this contractor come work for the company in a different department. As usual I set up his machine, gave him is username/password etc and left him to it.
Over the next 3-4 weeks he would continually 'break' his machine, and demand I came and fix it, all the while tell in me what a 'nice guy' he was, what a cool car he had etc, all the usual flirting stuff and I was polite but ignored it - it happens a lot working IT Support.
By the fourth time he was giving me the creeps, so the guys in my department started going instead of me and then his machine seemed fine and I forgot all about it.
One Friday night a few weeks later my team and I went out for a meal and a drink after work. We left at 5pm, had a meal, played some pool, they all had a drink as I was the designated driver. By 10.30pm we decide to call it a night and all walk back to my car, so I could drive them home.
Our company rented car parking space in a railway carpark which is generally deserted, very dark, badly lit and my car is there. Walk into the car park and who do you think is SITTING on my car...yup the creepy contractor!!
Thankfully I wasn't alone. He must have been there for hours as the office shut at 6pm.
He looked shocked to see the others with me, muttered about how his car didn't start and how he thought I could give him a lift home, as we lived in the same direction - no idea how he knew that!!
I told him to get a cab, and we all got in the car, leaving him there. I was shaking and the guys were furious because it was obvious he'd been trying to catch me on my own.
I reported it to HR the following week, nothing was done because it hasn't been 'in the office' so my team took it upon themselves to have a 'chat' with him - no idea what they said, they wouldn't tell me, but he never even looked in my direction for the rest of his contract. I can't thank them enough for backing me up in such a horrible situation, I really got lucky having them with me.
5/13. I was getting tutored at school one time and the guy who was tutoring me was asking what my plans were for the weekend. I assumed it was small talk so I just said the usual, studying, working, hanging out with my boyfriend.
He got so pissed. He started to rant on and on about how girls like me were all the same. Always "using" guys and then never giving anything in return. That he helped me so the least I could do was go out on a date with him. That he's so nice and no girls ever want to date him, probably because we all like jerks (his words).
He said I was a fake/tease too for allowing him to tutor me. He got kind of aggressive too and started to slam things around/shove chairs into the tables and stuff. I noped out of there so fast.
6/13. I had one guy who had a crush on me completely stop talking to me when I started dating someone else, but on my birthday I got a huge box in the mail from him.
It had a ton of weird stuff in it, bed sheets, a stuffed giraffe, an old journal from a young grade that they had to write in for points with new entries made about me (all written in his "kid" style), a framed collage of pictures of me and screenshots of our text conversations, a letter explaining the giraffe begged to be sent to me, as well as congratulating me on my 4 month anniversary.
I called him immediately to tell him that it was inappropriate and he called my boyfriend and got into a fight with him or something and then posted on facebook about how he "went out of his way to get a nice gift for a girl who didn't appreciate it."
7/13. I had a random guy add me on Facebook. One mutual friend, but nothing else in common. No idea who he was, so, logically, I ignored the request.
The next day I start getting messages. "I know someone as beautiful as you would never talk to me, but I have to try."
"Girls like you are the worst. I'm just being nice."
"You could at least say hi, I'm the best you could get."
I blocked him. Was thoroughly creeped out for awhile after that. Who does that?
8/13. Oh boy. I was out at a bar, and a guy started talking to me. After about 5 minutes I told him I actually had a long term boyfriend, so if he would rather mingle that was totally fine with me and I completely understood! He looked so hurt and was like "Omg no, you seem great and I'd love to keep talking, of course that's no problem at all!" He was really outgoing and we had a fun rapport, so I stuck around.
About an hour in, I'm now pretty buzzed and the nice-guy-manipulation begins. He keeps touching me and whenever I tell him to stop he's like "You're so on edge, I'm just being friendly, omg haha!" Just constantly invalidating my boundaries and making me feel impolite.
Then he starts in with the badgering. "If you weren't interested, why did you accept a drink? If you're so happy with your boyfriend then why are you out here? Don't you know he's probably cheating on you since he's alone? You're too young for a serious relationship anyway..." I finally had it when he said "Look at your sister over there, she's so sexual and men love her. You should be like that, people would like you better."
I told him he didn't know what he was talking about and I was visibly angered.
Then the weirdest thing happened. In that moment I turned invisible. Like his eyes glazed over and I ceased to exist and he just wandered away to a new group of girls. As soon as he finally gave up trying to get in my pants, I wasn't even a person anymore. Our hour plus of laughing together and sharing about our lives I took as a genuine human connection meant literally nothing. I was just someone maybe he could bully into sleeping with him.
Anyway, there's a "nice guy" for ya. It sucks being reduced to an object after you think someone actually found you interesting and funny or whatever. But, such is life sometimes.
9/13. First few weeks in freshman year of high school, was waiting at the lunch line when a senior comes up to me and offers to pay my lunch. Despite being 14, I can still tell he's obviously going to try to make a move or something but I say oh well, free lunch right? Anyway he buys my lunch and I expect him to ask my number or some other petty thing, but he says, and I quote: "meet me in the bathroom after lunch."
10/13. I've had a number of guys who I went on a date with who insisted on paying for my meal or drinks or whatever who then turn around and get really angry if I don't want to hook up with them because I "owe" them. When I point out that I'm not a prostitute, they always tell me how I should be more appreciative of how nice and kind they were to me. I always stop dating for awhile after this happens.
11/13. Around last year I ran into someone I had vaguely known in high school but didn't like back then because he was really strange. But when we saw each other he seemed like he had really matured so we added each other on Facebook and would occasionally message each other.
He started going through a really rough time (his dad passed away, he'd started getting into harder drugs, etc.) so when he reached out for help I tried to do my best to be there for him. Convinced him to start going to therapy and all that jazz, and it really seemed like it was helping. Then he started pushing me to come over to his college and hang out with him even though it was an hour away and would try to invite himself over to my apartment. I just brushed it off and made excuses about not being able to.
A few weeks down the line he asked me why I never gave him a chance. I've been with my SO for almost three years and this guy knew that we were still together because of Facebook and the fact that I was with my SO as often as I could. I told him that I was with someone that I was very happy with and that all he was ever going to be was a friend. He lost it and started calling me and messaging me calling me a lying w---e and that I led him on.
He said he was always so nice to me so I would sleep with him and now it was all just a waste of time. He started threatening to kill himself if I wouldn't sleep with him. I ended up calling the police for them to go check on him since he was saying all that stuff and I didn't want him to hurt himself. They ended up admitting him for around a week and I've had to block him on every social media and change jobs just so he wouldn't show up and do anything to me.
He's been spreading lies about me now apparently, since when I went back home for Thanksgiving break I had people asking me why I cheated on my SO with that guy and if I really had him put in a mental hospital because he ended the affair.
12/13. Many moons ago I met a guy on OKCupid and went on exactly one date. We had an okay time until the end of the date when he would not let go of me. As in, hugged me and wouldn't stop.
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At first I kind of laughed, but it quickly accelerated to "okay, let me go RIGHT now." He let go about 2 seconds before I went screaming bloody murder ballistic, and suffice it to say I was done with this guy forever.
He sent me three emails that night, three the next day, and kept this up for about a month. Then about three months later he emailed me again, to see, "if you've decided you're into nice guys after all."
13/13. Was friends with my coworker who was significantly older than me. He had a wife and a newborn baby. (I was 18 at the time FYI).
We never talked outside of work, just were friendly during office hours because we worked in the same room and were part of a small company. We would often go for lunch together because he could drive and I couldn't, and there was no food places within walking distance.
Slowly over time he started hitting on me and flirting with me more and more. I always made a point of shutting him down, and not in a joking manner.
Nearing the end of my contract at the company, he insists we go for lunch together that day. Alright, we go. He tries to buy my lunch but I tell him no.
We're driving back and he's really laying the flirting on thick. We pull into our office's parking lot and this mofo looks over and puts his hand super high up on my thigh. Before he could say anything I looked him dead in the eye and told him to get his hand off of me, NOW.
Homeboy started in with the "oh hey I didn't mean anything by it I'm a nice guy" BS. I left and went inside. Later that same day when he was back in our room he kept saying things about how we were good for each other and he was a good guy and he thinks we could really have had something if it weren't for his wife.
I was honestly scared to go into work for the next week because I thought he might try to kiss me. Ugh.
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