Women Share "Girl Secrets" Guys Shouldn't Know About

In an earlier article, we talked a little bit about the stuff that women found totally baffling about men. The article really helped women get a better understanding - particularly of hetero male friendships. Haha, just kidding we're more confused than ever! We still totally don't get it. How can you know NOTHING about your friends?!? What is happening?

Anyway, in the spirit of fair play, some women got together and decided to give men some freebie bits of info.

One Reddit user asked:

What are some "girl secrets" guys don't know about?

Needless to say there is a lot of talk about menstruation and genitals - but there's also a lot of stuff in here that isn't related to bodies at all, but some women still thing it's important for men to understand. Here are some of the top rated responses, edited for language or clarity if needed. You ready? Nope, you're not ready - but we're going in anyway!



Sometimes we stand up and things just gush out of us. We always think it's our period. It feels like giving birth to a small jellyfish.

- Katrinashiny


When you hold your breasts when you walk up & down the stairs or run, it's so they don't jiggle. Jiggling is so uncomfortable.

- MadeOnThursday


If there are any men fashion designers on here - women who like dresses want pockets in the dresses and I don't mean near my boob I mean on the actual skirt part. I love my one dress with pockets.

- tallica_babe


Some of us have to shave our toes.

- Corgitargarayen


Some women have larger labia and sometimes they get stuck in our underwear. It's VERY painful and extremely uncomfortable. And then we have to either walk funny to try to get them unstuck or walk very, very carefully to somewhere where we can just stick a hand down our pants to get things sorted. And don't get me started about getting stuck in lace underwear!

- Headology_matters


Our favorite bra hasn't been washed in 2 weeks.

Edit: It is winter, so maybe I should've said 6 weeks. Oops.

- howfuckedareyou


"Is there anything on my butt" is code for "Has my period leaked?"

- Elite-Hunting



I think most girls appreciate emotional support in though situations more than advice, when I'm crying I don't want my partner to tell me what I should do. Just Listen.

- emotittieonal


The true reason we go to the toilet together is...

...that the waiting queue would usually so long that alone we will a. get really bored and b. feel a little excluded from the conversation for some minutes when we come back to the group. So we go together and chat the whole time we are waiting.

- Spiders_Corpse


Sometimes if I'm struggling with a mechanical problem, I want to struggle with it until I fix it. If you see that I'm having trouble, take the broken thing away from me and fix it on the spot, I lose the chance to fix my own problem.

- ExNihiloAdInfinitum


If you're dating a girl, her best friend already knows your whole life story.



I can't speak for others, but if I hug a guy it either means 1. I have a crush on them 2. I used to have a crush on them (I haven't completely gotten over people yet) or 3. I am kind of interested in them and would definitely consider it if they ask on a date.



Sometimes, but not all, or maybe all, women get aroused when their partner does chores around the house without having being told to or if it's out of context of daily house chores.

If I see my partner come down the stairs with the laundry basket and actually remember to switch them out to the dryer it gets me turned on so much.


Another weird one is watching him squeeze the all-purpose bottle and wipe up a dirty counter if he makes a mess. I can see his muscles flex when he wipes and I'm a total mess down there.

I can't be the only one who thinks this way!



"Oh, she must be on her period lol" is one of the most annoying stuff we hear all the time.

No, not because I was crying I have to be on my period. No, not because I got mad I have to be on my period.

Yes, periods do affect our moods, but it isn't nice at all when guys just assume that our mood is COMPLETELY controlled by our cycle (which is not). It's not fun to have people making fun of girls just because of something as normal as menstruation, specially if you have never experienced bleeding all day and night for a week without being able to do anything on it.

To girls who also do that:

Why would you? Really, why?



Bi girl here- If you think a girl is cute, I probably think she's cute too. I know she's probably straight. Don't discount my attraction, please, I'm not going to creep on her/steal her from you/get stolen from you.

Also, while some women can be totally brutal to one another, in a pinch we can always count on each other. If a girl doesn't help another girl in a dire situation, you can guarantee there's some serious bad blood- we learned from an early age there's safety in numbers, even if that number is two and the other girl is someone you hate.



Hey, someone (if anyone is still watching this thread, I wish I'd seen it earlier) please settle a long-running disagreement between myself and my best female friend. For obvious reasons, I haven't asked anyone about this IRL, and I don't trust her assertion that "all women do it even though none of them talk about it" because if none of them talk about it how can we be sure that that's because of her reason as opposed to because they actually don't do it?

When a woman is having a hard time taking a sh*t, like if she's constipated for example, is it normal for her to reach up in the vag and push it out? Or is that just a rather amazing kinda "life hack" that she came to on her own?

Also there's no torture method on planet earth that would cause me to reveal the identity of this woman, not until it's been confirmed that she's correct and it's a widespread thing. Even then I doubt I'd reveal her identity face to face in real human interaction.

Granted, it's an amazing idea but I'm sure most people (especially guys) would think it's really gross. Although if it's something lots of women do I guess that would change things. Anyway, it just makes me kind of jealous, I don't think it's gross at all - though I should probably add here that bathroom stuff is the opposite of a sexual fetish for me. We all poop, it's not sexy, it's just a function to be completed, like eating or blowing your nose.

I can understand that some people find bathroom stuff sexy, but the closest thing to an interest I have in it is wondering how those people don't get sick. Completing the poop cycle more efficiently is admirable.

If you're a woman who has issues with constipation and you've never heard of this I could maybe ask her for extra tips but as I understand it, it's a pretty straightforward maneuver and process.

Anyway, yeah. Which of us is more correct: Team "that's fascinating but I don't think many people do it" or Team "everybody does this but nobody talks about it because it's poop and they don't want to look gross."



A lot of girls have to straight up shave everywhere. Stomach, toes, nipples. The whole ass 9 yards. We are just as horny as you and just don't show it (most of the time) Sometimes we don't know where we want to eat just means that. You pick.



After women give birth they have the longest and grossest "period" ever for the next maybe up to 4 or more weeks. The discharge is called lochia. I found this out after having my baby.



Anything my guy (who is not a macho/muscular guy) does that would be considered a masculine chore (shoveling, chopping wood, even just carrying something heavy) instantly makes me crave his body on mine. And extra points if doing said chores makes him sweaty and smelly. Mmmm.



It's almost unofficial girl code that if anything is amiss dressing-wise, we take a girl aside and help them out. (Tag out, lipstick on teeth, underwear showing, necklace clasp rotated in front.)

But if it also isn't obvious enough, friend or not, walk up to any girl if you feel uncomfortable for any reason and you're instantly a friend. No questions asked. (I like that one.)



I'm not sure, but I think a lot of girls are insecure about their boobs. I mean, the actresses usually have perfect boobs, and even if they don't, you can usually find some nasty comments about that. Some girls with smaller boobs would like to have bigger boobs. Some girls with bigger boobs would actually like to have smaller but more shapely boobs. Boobs might be asymmetrical, might have big/small/light/dark aureolas, might be saggy, might have a weird shape.

And the worst thing, without surgical intervention sometimes there's not much we can do about it. I mean, it's similar with face, but face you anyway carry everyday for everyone to see and you can make peace with your insecurity and think if someone doesn't like it then they just don't. And with breasts (and also labias) it's that you get that thought "what if he finds me hot, my boobs look great in bra, but then he'll be disappointed when we get naked"?



I suppose this is as appropriate a venue as any to ask this of the ways of girls:

I go to the bathroom at work every day. I work at a place where there are 200 people on my floor and four bathrooms, so they're all fairly occupied at certain times of the day, and someone is coming in and out every few seconds, so you have to walk right by the ladies' room door to get to the mens' room. So the mens' room, everyone lets it rip. At certain times you might swear you are under siege by artillery.


But the ladies' room? Never even heard a polite toot coming out of there. What gives?



If your butt gets wet (canoeing, someone pours water on you, etc) while you're wearing a pad, it will swell up and detach from your underwear. a chance that this happened to me and it fell down the leg of my shorts without my noticing (I was running around a lot during a water fight) and I never found it but some poor soul must have one day.

I went to the bathroom and was like "wtf didn't I just put a pad on like an hour ago? Did I forget?" and then I realized what might have happened. So either I took off the old one and straight up forgot to put on the new one, or it bloated up and made a bid for freedom.



If you think we look stunning, we are wearing a lot of makeup. If you think we aren't wearing makeup, we are wearing a little bit of makeup. If you think we look sickly, we aren't wearing makeup.



If I 'cockblock' a guy who is hitting on a girl, 100% of the time the girl you're hitting on wants me to do that. I'll probably have made eye contact with her from across the room to see if she's okay, and if she isn't, well... that's why I'm the b!tch who stopped you from getting laid. I've even done this for girls I don't know, see a girl who looks uncomfortable, go over and start to talk... if she waves me off, I assume she's okay, if she welcomes me in, I know she needs me to run interference, so I do.



I don't know how true this is of most women, but I've talked about it with my female friends and it's pretty true for them:

More so than men, women need to be clear-headed, present, and decently relaxed before they can tap into their sex drive or have that thought of like, "Hey, some sex would be awesome right now."

Men, on the other hand, not only seem to have this experience multiple times a day regardless of what's going on, but they're more likely to desire sex or some kind of sexual release when they're stressed or have a lot on their minds.

This has been true in most every conversation I've had with men/women and in every relationship I've had.

My husband and I are currently trying to sell our house and find a new one (an undoubtedly stressful time.) Last night he propositioned me and I was just NOT into it. We ended up talking about this difference in sex drives. I explained to him that when we first started dating, I wanted sex all the time because just going to see him was an escape from all the bullsh*t in my life.

Once I saw him I felt relaxed and like everything would be okay. That isn't to say that's no longer true, as I get a lot of comfort from him and have lots of trust in him. But now that we're in this together (this being the bullshit of life) it's different. I'm not leaving my bullshit behind when I go to him. We share bullshit. Such is marriage.



Some of us have to smoosh our boobs flat so we can see where we're going downstairs. Especially if we're wearing those really nice bras that make your boobs look large, lovely and super perky.



When I'm scared or walking alone in a dark I grab my boobs for courage.



On the first few days of your period, when you first get up out of bed and gravity starts doing it's thing, there is a period queef with every step to the bathroom. Every. Step.



Sadly a lot of women never experience an orgasim with their partner. Some are in their 30s before they have their first, which they gave themselves. Then, how do you tell someone your partner without hurting them so they buy a vibrator.



Sometimes we just need to cry in order to feel better. It doesn't mean we're on our period, or that you did something wrong. It's stress relieving.



Every so often, something itches. Is it a yeast infection? Is it a bacterial infection? Is your pubic hair growing back in? Is it dryness? Is it irritation? Did something get stuck in your underwear?

The answer is that 99% of the time everything is fine but you're still gonna worry and squirm uncomfortably trying to get it to stop.

(And also yeast infections in general: much more common thn one would think, and absolutely goddamn ruthless.)



I suppose guys are warned about unexpected boners when they get sex ed, the same how girls are warned that discharge is normal as they're going through puberty.

I see a lot of discussion about said boners, I guess the girl secret would be just how frequent it was to go to the bathroom and suddenly your underwear was so soaked it was insane. (This is talking high school/middle school age, so careful with the replies lol).

And it could dry on them and make em crusty, it could get bad enough that the underwear could get holes in them if they go long enough without being washed. Sorry for the grossness, tween girls can be unsanitary too lol.


Boob acne is a thing that happens and it's perfectly normal, trust me. Same with stretch marks around the breasts and thighs.



We have so many hair related issues... plucking dark random nipple hairs, trying to line up when we shave our areas to when we hook up to avoid guys from seeing razor burn or ingrown hairs, before getting out of the shower we have to pick out hair from our butt crack that fell out from washing our hair, pubes growing and sticking out of our undies, pubes getting stuck in pads or liners...



If you have sex without a condom, we need a good few minutes after to let everything ~drain~ out of us. I always tell my boyfriend "brb gotta go ooze!" because I love seeing the cringe



Sometimes we have to take the "extra long stride" too, because period blood and discharge can make things sticky down there.



Periods suck overall but they are very different depending on the girl!

Some women get emotional, some are completely normal. some periods last for 8 days, some last for 3 days. some girls are in extreme pain, some just have mild discomfort. some flows are very heavy, some are very light.

Aka, "I'm on my period" can mean anything from "sorry, I'm completely incapacitated" or "I'm just feeling a little worse than usual."



Might not be a girl-exclusive thing but I personally need a lot more foreplay to actually enjoy sex. Most of the time I can't get off from strictly penetration no matter how badly we both want it


Have you ever found yourself in an argument so stupid and/or pointless that you were sure you were being punked? Like you keep looking away from the other person to check your surroundings for places Ashton Kutcher and a camera crew could come popping out of?

You're not the only one.

u/Anti-hollowkid asked: What is the dumbest argument you've ever been in?

Brace yourselves, folks. Some of these arguments are breathtakingly bonkers. The sheer number of people who are willing to argue with someone over provable facts and what that other person likes or doesn't like is just ... stunning. It's stunning, you guys. Just not in a good way.

I Know What I Like


My wife and I once argued over whether or not I liked mustard on my hot dog. I was for me liking mustard, she was against me liking mustard.

The argument lasted way longer that you could ever imagine it would.

- AardvarkAndy

A Stair Step

My brother and I argued if our staircase had 13 or 14 steps, based on an argument about if the floor of the second floor counts as a stair-step or not. We still have no solution.

- RazerWolf04

My dad is a stairbuilder and I spent many summers working at his warehouse, so I can clear this up. 14.

- Apples9308


My husband and I have this thing where we only say "I love you" on Saturdays. Every other day it's "I love you, but only on Saturdays." I don't know how it started, but it's been going for 11 years now.

We're both shiftworkers, so sometimes we have to stop and think what day it actually is. We had an argument recently over whether it was Saturday or not. I said it was Saturday, he said it was Friday. It was Monday.

- FormalMango


I remember when I was about 13 my parents had an hour-long shouting match that ended with them almost getting divorced. The issue? Whether or not the nation of Iraq has a coastline.

My mother arguing that Iraq had a coastline, while my stepdad argued that it did not. This was back in 2004, and they are still quite happily married to this day. That incident is something they look back on and laugh about, and both of them admit it was really a pretty stupid thing to argue over.

- dontcryformegiratina


With an ex:

"I owe you $80 for the bills of ours that you pay, and you owe me $40 for the bills of ours that I paid. Here's $40 in cash; we're even."

She did not understand this.

I literally had to go get another $40 out of the ATM, and hand the $80 to her. Then I had her hand me the $40 she owed me.

"Now how much do you have in your hand?"

She still didn't understand.

She somehow has a college degree.

- Speedly

Mini Wheats

When we were kids my brother and I got in a physical fight because he said I like mini wheats and I insisted I didn't. His argument was that I always sang the mini wheats song and I was deeply offended that he wasn't aware that it was just stuck in my head but I hated the cereal. I actually did like the cereal I'm not sure why I was arguing with him about it but I remember how genuinely angry I was.

- shicole3



I'll tell you about the only legal trouble I've ever been in, the fight that got me arrested. It started over whether we should return a box of crayons or not, and to this day I don't have any idea how it escalated to the point of the cops being called, but they were and I was the one taken in.

- CorrectionalChard

That's Unfair

My boyfriend insisted that when two people are in an argument and one makes a point so reasonable and logical the other one can't disagree with it - it's unfair. I tried, logically and reasonably, to explain several times why that is just winning the argument, proving your point thoroughly and is completely fair.

His answer was that I was being unfair.

- ShyAcorn

Pure Masochism

How the ch in masochism is pronounced. My friend caught me saying "masoKism" while he would say "masoSYism."

To be fair, he grew up speaking French, in which the ch in masochism is pronounced in "his" way. But he insisted that I was the wrong one here and that was just infuriating.

- argofire

Emailing NASA

A woman was adamant that looking at the big solar eclipse on the television was unsafe unless you were wearing glasses. She wouldn't believe us and insisted on emailing NASA to check.

- derawin07

A Non-Standard Ruler? 

I worked for a company that made signs. We had a customer ask for signs that were 7mm wide that were to go on a door. Our sign makers figured the order meant inches because 7mm is pretty small, so made them 7 inches. I got a phone call from the customer who went mad at me for making them the wrong size. So I put a reorder through for 7 mm.

Argued with the sign makers over it but they eventually agreed to do it after I shown them the order in writing. I even had the customer put her complaint in writing, reiterating the size they wanted.

7mm signs went out and a day later I get the customer on the phone literally screaming at me.

Cue the dumb argument - we ended up having an argument over how big a millimetre is, and obviously everyone in the office were laughing, but this customer just wouldn't accept it and said we must be using a non-standard ruler to measure.

Ended up being escalating to the sales department manager who refused to issue a refund. We still don't know what they actually meant.

- Lovelocke

This Unusual Vegan Argument

Was in a pub with a few friends, and some random Dude dropped an ear, and somehow figured I'm vegan. Well, people like him are the reason I usually avoid mentioning it. He came up to me and insisted on starting a discussion about veganism. He claimed that by the end of it, I would be eating meat again.

He listed some stupid arguments, I told him I was not convinced and then tried to keep on drinking beer with my friends. He followed me, and wanted me to "try to convert him to a vegan." I stupidly listed some of my reasons thinking it would make him go away. He told me he still was not convinced, so I was like whatever. Again, I really just wanted to drink beer with my friends.

That dude followed me all night and expected me to try make him vegan. Doesn't matter what I said, and all the reasons that for me are obviously good enough to be vegan. He'd be just like "No, that doesn't convince me, therefore your argument and how you life is stupid."

Didn't matter how often I told him that I honestly don't care; 5 minutes later he would come up to me again "I'm still not vegan, so veganism is stupid, all your arguments were stupid, now give me a good reason to become vegan!" At one point, I was literally yelling at him that I don't give a single flying f about what he eats and why, that it's in no way my responsibility to "turn somebody vegan" and in no way his business what I eat.

Honestly, for that dude, I would have bought a whole ham, just to shove it up his stupid annoying face.

- onlytruebertos

Monty Python

In college my roommate and I argued about a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail. The scene with the Black Knight where the line "Alright, we'll call it a draw" is uttered. We argued about who said that line, whether it was King Arthur or the Black Knight.

It went on for hours longer than it should have because I was stubborn and refused to admit I was wrong.

- Skrivus

Albert or Arnold


Whether Albert Einstein or Arnold Schwarzenegger would be more useful to have around during a Zombie apocalypse. How on earth would Albert Einstein come in handy!?

- Gerrard1995

Below Sea Level

I live on an island and when you go upland and you look out the sea looks like it's higher than or on the same level as the land. It's just a weird perspective thing because of the horizon. One day some kid says that it's because the island is under sea level.

I'm like wtf bro all of us would be with the fishes. He argues that no that's not true and if I just go upland I'll see. We then spend a good 5 minutes of my time arguing about it until I decided to leave this kid in his stupidity. He even said we shouldn't believe everything adults tell us and sometimes we need to think for ourselves.

This kid was older than me and was going to a good school. Lost my respect for him ever since then.

- -justforclout-


Someone tried to fight with me over how to spell my name.

Now, my name is in a lot of languages with slightly different spellings. I would have accepted any of those spellings, but this one was just... Not even close. It didn't make any logical sense.

An analogous example is if my name was Thomas and someone was insisting it was spelled Tomash. And not just the name Thomas in general, but that me specifically, on my birth certificate, was named Tomash. I know how to spell my own name.

I swear to god, it went on for like an hour.

- TK-DuVeraun

Whales Are Mammals

I was in an online chat room one day, and we were talking about whales. I commented on how whales are mammals and the next thing you know, someone was arguing with me and trying to convince me that a whale was a fish.

- kawaii_psycho451


Stupid microwaves. Having a man child talk down to me about how microwaves work only for him to google it and prove me right. He slept on the sofa that night.

- sun_phobic

Shower Schedule

My friend keeps telling me that the norm is that a person should shower once a week. This has been going on for years. I'm almost convinced he's trolling me.

- LibrarianGovernment

No Balloons For Grandma

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky.

He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space. Releasing balloons is terrible for the environment and kills/harms so much wildlife.

He got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.

- Dskee02

Spontaneous Dolphin Existence


How dolphins reproduced. It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence. The argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- thebeststory

Male Chickens

I repeatedly had the argument with a friend over whether roosters were chickens. She was convinced that only the females were chickens (hens). We were 18 at the time.

- bee_zah

Lightning McQueen

Me and my friend were drinking underage, we ended up in an argument of whether lightning McQueen's eyes were blue or green. Somehow throughout the whole thing both of us never thought to straight up google a picture.

- 23071115

But ... Ice Floats

Waiter/Host here.

Woman wanted ice on the bottom of her drink.

Now read that sentence again and try to imagine arguing with that particular brand of stupid.

- FarWoods

Time Zones Exist

Coworker claimed that it was the same time of day and the same season on the whole globe. Had to get 4 coworkers to confirm to him that time zones do in fact exist.

- JustARegularToaster


My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?"

"that's orange"

"no, it's red"



It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.

- droneb2hive

Andre 2000?


I'm late, but I saw this question and instantly remembered that I was booted from a Facebook group because I called someone out on a lie that was not only bull, but extremely pointless. She was friends with the moderator and they made the case that my argument over such a little lie was more of a problem than the lie itself (though they didn't refer to it as a lie.)

The woman said that she used to babysit for Andre 3000 and that his name was Andre 2000 - but he changed it after the year 2000 had passed. This was so easily disproven it was ridiculous. Their debut album came out in 1994 and he was already going by Andre 3000 at that time.

The argument wasn't a huge long drawn out thing, but the fact that either of us were on Facebook at separate times meant that the responses were over a long period of time so this argument lasted a few days.

It was stupid.

- P1ST0L_Wh1PP3D

Stars Like Our Sun

I was arguing with my grandpa about stars he didn't believe that there are other stars like our sun. Basically he thought there is only the sun, the moon and the earth.


Richard Nixon

I have a degree in history. I mostly focused on nationalism. Wrote a 50 page paper on it and Richard Nixon with around 50 100 sources. Looked at micro film for hours on end. Part of the paper focused on how Nixon being chair of the house committee of Unamerican Activities was used as a powerful weapon to use against political enemies. It also inspired Joe McCarthy. Have had people tell me I was wrong and Nixon was never elected to a position besides the president and Joe McCarthy came before Nixon. I stopped trying to talk history to people.

I also know quite a bit about the history of the Balkans its amazing how many Serbs refuse to believe Tito did anything wrong.

Wrote 100 page paper on nationalism in Israel. Its frustrating to talk about because for some reason a lot of people think Palestinian firing rockets randomly into Israel is ok but if Israel retaliates the people get up in arms over a targeted air strike that kills 3 people.


Balloon to Heaven

My cousin and I argued over a balloon going to Heaven. We were at his big sisters prom send off and he let a balloon go and it went high into the sky. He then said this balloon will go up past space and go to Heaven and reach grandma (God rest her soul). And I was like no it's not and it's probably not even gonna reach space.

And he got really mad and defensive and started telling me to google it and do my research and I'm like I don't have to google it you idiot. He was mad at me for a good week.


Binder Clips

I got into an argument with a co-worker over how we were attaching two pages of a letter together: small binder clips or paper clips.

He felt that paper clips would leave a "dent" in the paper when removed, but binder clips won't. He refused to staple them together. I felt that binder clips would also leave a "dent", so we might as well just use the paper clips.

It ended with him saying: "Do what you want [me], I don't care!" and storming off.



Once got accused of faking being Jewish. Why? I have no clue. We argued over the course of a month, any time I'd bring it up and she heard about it, she'd begin going after me for "faking it".

My mother's side is ethnically Jewish. Grandparents were practicing.




3 friends and I once got into an argument about how to pronounce Nutella. It lasted for about 3-4 months. It was hilarious how serious we took it, it'd get heated but never for real serious.

I think someone even called the company that made it to check, or that may have been for the Cheetos company. We were really bored in high school.


Lingerie Boxes

Late to the party, but there it is.

I'm a manager at a small store. We're only 4 working there, so my team and I grew very close and we joke around a lot. Once during a slow shift, my employee and I had an argument because we were looking at the lingerie boxes, and I thought that two specific boxes had the same woman on it, but she was 100% positive they weren't the same person.

Looking back, I don't know why it was such a big deal to us at the time, but we even called another employee who lives across the street to come and tell us what the heck was up with that. Turns out I was right, and she was pretty salty about it. It was a great night.


Wicked Witch of the West

I almost got into an argument with an old girlfriend over Glinda the good witch from Oz. She insisted that Glinda was manipulating Dorothy to assassinate the Wicked Witch of the West and convince the Wizard to leave to create a political void she could fill.

I conceded the issue when I heard the whole premise because I thought it was too damn stupid to get worked up over.


Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Just the other day I legit got in an argument with my co-workers on why I don't like my butt being grabbed by anyone (I'm a guy). Seriously.

They went on about "I don't mind it. Mike and I do it all the time and we don't care." Yeah, that's nice dude, but I'm not you, and there's something called "Keep your hands to yourself" (which was taught to a good portion of us growing up). Just like how Karen wouldn't like it if I touched her boobs or her grabbing your crotch or frankly ANY area you wouldn't like being grabbed, keep away. In general, you should not be touching me in any areas after I've told you not to several times before.

So unless you're sleeping me or dating me, keep your damn hands off my toosh.



My best friend and I argued over whether or not telekinesis was possible. Her argument was that humans don't yet know what the human brain at 100% usage was capable of, and that telekinesis was inside the possibilities.

I said the brain does use 100%, just at different times.

We didn't speak to each other for four days.



How dolphins reproduced and whether or not ghost existed (back to back with the same person). It took me a few solid minutes of explaining to her that dolphins have reproductive organs and that they did not just pop into existence (the argument began with her saying she wanted to work with sea creatures).

How it shifted to the existence of ghosts is a solid and reasonable question to ask (I don't remember why). I had to then proceed to tell her that ghost hunting TV shows do not constitute as undeniable evidence.

Personally, I hope she was messing with me cause I lost a little faith in humanity that day. This was in high school SO... hopefully she was kidding.


Dogs and Chocolate


I told this stupid woman that chocolate is toxic to dogs. She went on to tell me how a little bit will just make them hyper and then they will calm down. I told her to google it. Her and her bf shut right up. Now they have a kid. Good luck, Jeremy and Andrea. morons.

I should also add that this argument started because Jeremy was giving his tiny dog chocolate and I told him it was toxic.


Is water wet?

My roommate and I have a recurring argument over whether or not water is wet l, and whether or not a person is considered wet underwater.

For the record, it is no to both questions.


Mission Trip

A kid a church telling me about the mission trip I went on. Not only was I not on that trip, but I had never been on any mission trip. We were good friends, so it's not like he would've mistaken someone else for me.

He insisted I was there as if an entire week long trip would just fall out of my memory. He even had stories of things we'd done together. I'm not sure if he thought I was lying, joking, stupid, or crazy, but I was pretty sure he was some combination thereof.


Dragon Tales

One time I got into a shouting match with my mom and little brother in the car. The issue? The names of the two-headed dragon from the PBS kids afternoon show Dragon Tales. I swore it was Zack and Macie.

It was actually Zak and Wheezie. I don't even remember why we were yelling about it.


Green Or Yellow?

When I was about 15 or so my mother and I spent about 20-30 minutes arguing about the color of a shirt. We agreed it was blue/green, but to me it was just a shade more blue, while to her it was just a bit more green.

Turns out, your eyeballs yellow as you age and hers were 24 years yellower than mine, so I think that skewed her color vision.


Stars In Their Multitude


I once got in an argument over whether or not a line from the song "Stars" in Les Mis says "...but mine is the way of the lord" or "mine is the way of the law".

I didn't even really care what he thought but he was so adamant and cocky that it got me heated. By the end of it we were shouting at each other and I had to apologize, which I think is what he wanted the whole time.



My brother is colorblind. And he CONSTANTLY tries to correct me on what color things are.

"Hey could you hand me that red _____?" "that's orange" "no, it's red" "orange" "YOU CANT EVEN KNOW".

It is the base of our most common and heated arguments.


Hot Water

About five years ago, my girlfriend (now wife) once had a very intense argument about whether or not hot water cleaned things better than cold water.

She genuinely believed that water temperature didn't matter. This is someone who has not one, but two masters degrees.

We argued for something like 2 hours, and we seriously almost broke up over the whole thing.


Biology Class

I had an argument with a girl IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIOLOGY CLASS in high school about how humans are not mammals. She thought a human was a human and we are not mammals because "mammals are animals and humans are not animals"

I tried explaining to her the difference between reptiles and mammals and how humans fall under the mammal category to try and educate her... but she just wouldn't listen.

I still have no idea why the BIOLOGY teacher did not get involved...


Solid Or Liquid?

Some classmates and I got into a heated debate as to whether or not the human body could count as a soup, salad, or sandwich. The teacher got mad at us, but hey! All we were doing was watching a movie.

For the record, my logic lays with soup- Liquid contained within a solid, at a hot temperature.