Women Share The Creepiest Things Men Do Without Even Realizing
Women Share The Creepiest Things Men Do Without Even Realizing
Being a creeper isn't always something people do on purpose. It's very possible to be minding your own business, just trying to live your life and be a good person, and accidentally make someone else uncomfortable. 8th grade me learned this while daydreaming on the really long bus rides home. It turns out I would zone out while staring at the person in front of me and to my left. Unfortunately the same kid sat there and it took almost three full weeks of daily stare-downs before he said something about it. I was the creep for almost a full month and had no idea! Sorry about that again, dude.
The thing is, I'm a four foot ten inch woman who could legitimately scare exactly nobody. At the time of my creeperhood, I was about four foot eight with poofy hair and enormous glasses, so again - not really scary. But my goodness how different might that person have felt if I was an adult man? My awkward innocent creepiness could have been full blown panic inducing creepiness to someone and I still may never have known it.
One Reddit user asked, Women, what is something creepy that guys do without noticing?
And the responses - which ended up coming from some men as well - really made us think. We gathered some of our favorite answers for you. Some are legitimately innocent, some are less benign.
Walking you home after a date without asking if she would like you to.
I know in the guy's head he's being a gentleman and making sure his date gets home safely. But really think about what you're doing. You're following someone home when you barely know them. That's the sort of thing you should make sure is welcome first.
It's fine to offer to walk someone home, but if they decline don't insist and do it anyway. They either don't want you to know where they live and/or they aren't interested in spending more time with you. Don't follow someone - anyone - back to their house if they don't want you to. That's where nightmares start.
Not a woman, but I guess hover guys. Like she is in a bar and there is one guy watching her from the distance. Feeling his stare she moves to another place in the establishment. Guess who will be close by to her new location? Yes that guy. To be fair that guy is probably not trying to be a creep, he likely is just very shy and struggling to make a move. He always finds excuses like: **"Oh she is talking to friends right now, better not interrupt." **
His indecisiveness and shyness keeps him in a state between approaching and not approaching, which makes him appear creepy.
I used to have an older male co-worker who would give me a creepy shoulder rub when he walked by my desk. Both hands.
One Redditor responded:
I had a coworker who would always do this to me. I'm male, by the way, but this guy was a good bit taller than me and would always do s* like this to me. Creeped me out so much. Please just don't touch me and let me work. You don't have to show me attention every time you walk past and, in fact, I'd appreciate if you didn't. Was so glad when that guy finally left.
I once had a dude listening when I was making a call to set up a doctor's appointment. I verified my phone number to the receptionist on the other end of the line, he heard it, wrote it down then later texted me. I had no idea who he was.
Were your sneaky tactics supposed to impress me, dude? Because they didn't. A woman's info isn't a god damned free for all for you to use.
Don't ever do this.
Complimenting With Insults
By telling me how pretty I am by insulting my friend. Like: **"You're way prettier than Becky!" **
Thanks, dick. How do you not realize that instead of "winning her over", you're turning us off by being a jerk and insulting friends?
Gym coaching. I'm a guy and I go to the gym regularly. I've seen a few men working out with women partners where they are obviously "coaching" them by keeping their hands on the woman's waist or somewhere else on her body while she goes through the motion of her exercise. Like, I really don't think she needs you to have your hands on her waist while she performs weight assisted pull-ups and you don't need to stand behind her and hold her while she does squats.
Touching my hair without consent. Don't Do it. Whenever I change my hair cut, color or style I invariably have men touching it. Girls squeal and tell me it's pretty then ask to touch it and don't push it if I say no. Guys (customers or coworkers) just reach out and touch it. I appreciate compliments, I really do, but why do you have to be touching my hair to tell me how nice it looks?
Not Helping Your Case
Get defensive to the point of anger when we point out ways in which they're making us uncomfortable.
Really not helping your case, my dudes.
Telling me that I would make a good "housewife" or that you want to take me back to your house when I'm just doing normal cleaning up at work. Do you see the male employees wipe counters and tell them they'd be great "househusbands" or that you want to take them home?
Don't people get how they're coming across?
Eavesdropping on conversations just to get an "in" to start talking. This weekend my friends and I went to a bar and were waiting in line to order our drinks. One of our friends had gone to the bathroom and was going to meet us in line. The friend I was standing with and talking to said something to the effect of "I wonder what Lauren wants me to order her?" during our conversation. When Lauren approaches, the guy that was standing behind us says "oh you must be lauren" even tho we haven't talked to him at all. He then starts asking us all where we're from and trying to small talk. This doesn't make you seem attentive, it makes you seem creepy and desperate.
Do not call a woman a yummy mommy, MILF, naughty mommy or any other term that sexualizes the fact I have children. It's creepy!
When you've made every nonverbal signal that you aren't interested and they approach you anyway or just linger around staring. If I am avoiding eye contact, cross my arms/frown, or if I see you approaching and move or change my direction... I'm not interested. This happens especially with guys in their 50s-70s at my gym, I make it very obvious I'm not interested, and then try to shut down the conversation that happens inevitably anyway, but they just keep. talking. and then trail you (still talking) if your try to physically remove yourself from their presence.
I'm a dude but i laugh so hard when i see guys act thirsty as hell on Social Media. Y'know the guy who comments heart eye emojis, says "Damn" or tries to start a conversation on photos.
"Damn, girl. That oatmeal with fresh fruit and cinnamon is straight ????. I wouldn't mind waking up to anything you do in the morning ????????????"
(this hurt me to type)
You Can't Force Gifts
Buying me stuff and then refusing to stop when I ask them to. Nothing ever comes for free. And when they inevitably try to make a move some how I'm the rude heartless bitch that was taking advantage of them and leading them on. I explicitly asked them to STOP BUYING ME STUFF then had to move to actually throwing it away in front of them. They never got the hint and turned this into my fault for 'sending mixed signals'.
Turn Down The Volume
I wonder if dudes realize how scary it is when they raise their volume in conversation. I had a roommate that was a big guy, 6.5 feet and probably 250 lbs, fairly intimidating stature. He'd always talk to girls he had over with his booming voice and wondered why none of them stayed.
Guys do this to each other all the time, your voice just gets louder and louder until you're shouting. And nobody is even mad. Just passionate about the conversation.
"I Look Constipated"
Don't make prolonged eye contact in the mirror at the gym with strange women. It can get weird pretty fast. I look constipated half the time when I lift weights, not really looking to bat my eyelashes in return.
Where's My Hug?!
Demand a hug after the first meeting. We may have only said 3 words to each other but they ALWAYS want a hug. Some people are huggers, some are not. If she doesn't want a hug, offer a respectful hand shake. It's more about demanding it. The whole "where's my hug?!" is super creepy. Just read the signals. I'm a hugger too, but it's pretty easy to tell when someone doesn't want to be hugged.
I love being hugged, the vast majority of guys I know hug me, and 99% of the time, I'm down for that snug. If you notice that they step back or stiffen up, don't do it. Don't do it if you don't know them well, or if they seem like they're trying to leave the conversation.
If they're friends, and return the hug, go for it. The world needs more hugs.
I work for Dollar General so pretty much every old man who makes a semi sexual or flirty comment to be 'nice'. One example was a time I asked an old man if he was ready to check out and he responded with: "What? Oh, yes! I'm always ready! Ready to stay, ready to go home, especially if it's with someone as pretty as you."
In another incident with a different man, I had accidentally gotten dust across my chest while holding a step stool. Instead of nicely telling me, an older man just continued staring at my chest and said: __"If anyone is staring at your nice big boobs, it's because of all of the dust." __He never even looked up at my face.
The one that really got me was one particularly creepy and blatant regular who needed something, so I told him to hang on and I would be right with him. I was holding things and needed to put them down. Instead, he came walking towards me and looked me up and down really obviously while saying:
"No, no. You can stay right there..."
They are all aware I'm 18.
Get way too close in my personal space to the point where they're almost touching me when I don't even know them.
This happens to me all the damn time at work. Guys come up so close behind me when I'm cleaning or stocking that I conveniently bump into them with my a** when I go to stand up. Or they conveniently get to touch me when I turn around on "accident." I can't complain to management because it does look like an accident.
I feel like some sort of petting zoo animal with how many men (It's never women, somehow) manage to "accidentally" put their hands all over me every day.
Guy at my school I noticed if he's in front of me walking and sees me he'll slow down so I can pass him. I tested this last week by slowing down as he slowed down. We both practically stopped walking entirely. I told him to stop staring at my a**/ he's not slick. His face went red.
It's not the looking at my a** that bugs me. I look at guys too. It's staring or changing your course to get a better look that I have an issue with. If I see a hot guy and go out of my way to look at him some more then I'm being a creep. If I look and keep going as normal, that's not creepy. That's my concern with this guy. He's making it a habit to alter his path to stare at me some more.
Racism is an insidious, and unfortunately prevalent, force in all of our daily lives. Maybe we're on the receiving end of it, being treated differently and losing opportunities because of others' preconceived notions.
Or maybe we're on the other side of things. Even those who aren't actively racist or discriminatory still have to process the world through the filters of the things they've been told about people who are different.