Women Share The Creepy Things Guys Do That Drive Them Nuts.

Can you feel the cringe tonight? What do these dudes not understand about respecting other people's boundaries?

This piece is based on an AskReddit thread. Link on the last page.

Not sure if many guys do this, but… I went out on a first date with a guy I met online. Introduced myself and he looked me over slowly. Head to toe. While sloppily licking his lips. Never have I felt so desperately in need of a shower.

 After he gave me the sloppy move, I stayed for 15 minutes after that. My attempt at being polite. Eventually I got the stomach to make my excuses and bolt. He continued to call, asking me to come over to his place for cuddles. I ended up having to block his number.


I was working and some customer came up behind me and began giving me a random unsolicited massage. I had no idea who he was but he said I looked like I "needed it." Dude, you are a stranger. Don't touch me.


Violating personal space. If you take a step toward me, and I step back, that is not an invitation to slowly chase me around the room. That is an indication that you are close enough.


Its so creepy when guys block your path by extending their arm and putting their hand on the wall. Quick tip, genius: if you have to physically block my escape, it's already over.


I was out with my friend at a club and we were dancing together, fully engaged with each other and chatting as we danced.

A guy pushed into the gap between us and tried dancing with just me. I stopped dancing and stepped away. My friend reached out and pulled me back to her and began dancing with me again, pulling me in closer to close the circle to make it clear we weren't looking for company. He did it again. (continued...)

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My friend straight up pulled me away and we walked out of the room.

Later that night, the guy saw us and came over and started screaming and shouting that we were "rude sl*ts" for not wanting to dance with him. Oh yeah. Were the rude ones here. Sure.


This is happened to me more than once: men who claim to know when a woman is menstruating "by smell alone." Come on, man.


Once at a family party, this elderly man insisted on dancing with me almost the whole night. I didn't mind this so much because I was there only with my mum and didn't know that many people. He then continued to try to read my body language and tell me how he knows that "there are things that I'm trying to hide" and how I have a "secret temperament." Please don't try to pretend to "read" a girls behavior, especially if she's about a third of your age. That is just creepy.


For me, the creepiest thing guys do is jump right into super obvious flirting. Like, an example conversation would be:

Me: "So, you like Star Wars?

Him: "I love Star Wars! So, when are you coming over for Empire Strikes Back and cuddles?"

Smooth transition.


Sadly this is something that's happened to me a lot. Why do guys flirt with or persist in their advances toward a girl who is in a relationship?

I've had 'friends' who have flirted with me who know my partner. The worst was when I used to go to clubs. Ive had so many guys reply to me saying I have a boyfriend with, "he doesn't need to know."


I hate when guys say, "You look so innocent." This isn't a compliment. I'm 26. Its creepy.

I think this is one of those dumb "challenge" statements, where they say youre innocent and think your instinct will be to prove you're not.

The annoying part is that it probably does work sometimes.


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I know it's not that common, but there was one guy I knew who had a habit of putting his arm over the shoulders of girls who barely knew him and without their consent.

He thought it made him look confident and cool. We thought he was a desperate creep.


A lot of guys have followed me in public or slowed down to try and talk to me from their cars. In what world is this not creepy? I know most guys won't do this, but so many have at this point that I just wonder if they know how creepy they're being.


As a Black female, it is absolutely infuriating when guys hit on you by stating that theyve never been with a Black girl before, and start with all that chocolate caramel stuff. That doesnt make me feel special. It makes me feel like a fetish you want to cross of your list. Just be normal please!


My job requires a bit of talking with my clients to ascertain their needs. One client came back the next day (when I wasn't around) and made comments to my co-workers about how I obviously wanted him and other really inappropriate things. 

We had had a perfectly normal, neutral conversation about work-related things. I was upset, but then I realized this guy probably doesn't talk to many girls. He thinks that any woman even showing him the bare minimum of respect must want him.


It's really off-putting when guys come on too strong. Like I get it you want sex, so do I. But I also want to be able to carry a decent conversation with the person I sleep with that doesn't involve an unsolicited junk pic. I think a general rule with nudes is that if we don't ask for one, don't send it. And a lot of guys just send one as an opening.

It's pretty gross when it's not asked for.


Some guys are just way too old to be hitting on 18-25 year old girls.

When I was 17, a 28-year-old guy with a 76ers hat and a cigarette in his ear came up to me and my friend on the street and tried to hit on us in the most ridiculous way. (continued...)

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This guy actually tried to have a threesome with me and my friend, who was 16.

He kept bragging about how girls lined up to date him and we were lucky he was even interested in us.

The worst part about it is this guy STILL messages me and my younger sister on Facebook, trying to have threesomes. My sister just turned 16 a month and a half ago.

Like, dude...not only is that creepy, it's sick.


Asking about tattoos can be super creepy. "How many do you have? Where are they? You got any where the sun dont shine?" Ugh.


Im creeped out by men who approach two or more women with the pick-up line, "why are you sitting here all by yourselves?" Yeah, you really must come save us from this man-less reality we are living in.


I dont like when guys insist that they "just want to be friends" after hitting on you and getting rejected. If your idea of being "friends" means going out for a meal alone, or talking to me only when no one else is around… No, you don't want to be friends. I'm not stupid.


Dont joke about drugging my drinks/slipping alcohol into my non-alcoholic beverages (if I'm not drinking that night) and wondering if I'd notice or how I would act while drunk and drugged up.

Yes this has really happened. Multiple times. Different guys.


"I can totally guess women's bra sizes. You're a 34C right?"

Dude, stop, no you can't, please leave me alone.


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Its never good to get mad at women who reject you. "Why didn't she just say no/why did she lead me on?" Then in the same breath, they harass women for "not giving guys a chance." And they generally keep pursuing women who aren't interested or keep brushing them off.

You know that old dating tip about reading back a phone number incorrectly to see if it's real or they gave you a fake number? Yeah, if a woman gives you a fake number, just accept it and walk away. If she did that, it's because she does not feel safe just saying no, and she has reason to expect that if she rejected you directly, you would get upset with her.

Women try to be as polite and gentle in their rejections as possible because of their genuine fear of violent retaliation if they dont. But then, when were nice, we get accused of "leading men on."

Or we are being friendly to guys we genuinely like, but those guys cannot process a male and female friendship, so they assume it's about sex and romance.


"If only I was younger." - Elderly men.


Im suspicious of guys who make a point of talking about how respectful/safe/feminist you are. Do it once, and okay, maybe you're just shy or nervous. Do it twice or more, and it gets progressively creepier. Believe me, if you're really a quality guy, I'll be able to tell without being told.


I really don't like it when guys hit on me at work.

To be more specific: I'm in customer service and I have to be nice and I can't really leave the situation as I'M AT WORK. Nothing makes me feel more trapped than a dude that spends an hour asking me about some product in a thinly veiled attempt at talking to me.


Not sure if this is common. I sure hope not. I take the same train to and from work everyday. After a night out I was heading home on that train, and a man stopped me. (continued...)

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He said, "Oh you must have been working late. You don't normally get on the train at this time. I thought I missed you. Still going to (place I live)?" It could have been harmless, but it was past 10pm and it felt supremely creepy. I switched train cars. It felt wrong. He was analyzing my journey like a stalker.


Personal space is a big one. It seems like every man I've worked with over the age of 40 thinks that the maximum distance we should have during a conversation is less than half a foot.

Nope. You need to be about an arms length away. Just barely in the handshake zone. You may be a great dude, but not everyone is. And if you're gonna try to hug or kiss or otherwise overstep professional boundaries, I need enough space to shut you down. Cause once you've done something inappropriate, it forces my hand. I can A) call HR or B) get used to increasingly inappropriate physical contact.


Offering unsolicited advice. This is especially true if a girl is trying a new thing or just learning something. If she wants help, she'll ask! Otherwise, just let her figure it out on her own.

I hate playing pool at bars, because guys swarm to offer unsolicited advice and tell you what you're doing wrong. I was at a weird vaping/craft beer bar with my boyfriend because our friend just got a job there bartending, and a bunch of people were having a really great time playing pool.

No one seemed particularly good at pool, but everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun minding their own business, so I decided to give it a shot. Again, I'm not very good at pool, but I was having a lot fun and let my guard down a bit. Guys from all corners of the bar walked over to try to give advice on how to hold my elbow, move my hand, and I quickly stopped having a good time. 

One guy would tell me to hold my hand flat on the table, the next guy would go, "No, no, no, you're doing it all wrong, bend your fingers!" Even when I expressed that I didn't really care what the "correct technique" was, and just wanted to do it my own little messed up way, some guys would insist they, couldn't just sit there and watch someone make such big rookie mistakes. For you folks sitting at home, that's called negging.

Long story short, it's super rude to ruin someone's good time by trying to offer advice when they're not asking for it. If it's not hurting them, then just let them figure it out on their own.



Those of us who live in New York live this truth on a daily basis.

Sometimes, you just meet a person who isn't quite all there. It's hard to tell at first, but then you talk with them for a little while and it just becomes abundantly clear if they're two eggs short of an omelette.

The stories of how you find out are so interesting. But yet, they teach us to look for clues when we interact with others.

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