Workers Share The Most Confounding Things Customers Have Said To Them.
Customer service is a tough gig. You're on the front lines day after day helping people get from A to B. Not all customers make it easy. Here are some of THOSE customers...
1. Take it easy on me.
'Would you like some jalapeos with your nachos?' 'No, I'm massively allergic. I could die.' 'Oh, then you shouldn't have any of this then, the cheese and salsa dips you asked for both contain jalapeos' 'Oh; don't worry. I'm not actually allergic. Just not a fan'.
You thundering bag of dicks, I wasn't going to force them down your throat. Say 'no thanks' and we're done.
2. That's not how it works.
"Wow... look honey we are saving more than we are spending... We practically are getting paid to get these clothes."
3. Light lettuce?
"HEY I asked for light lettuce!"
"Oh sorry." remakes sandwich "Here you go."
"...I don't get all the rest of my order for free?"
She ordered for herself, her mom and two sisters. She was honestly shocked she wasn't getting 4 full meals free from a small mistake.
4. Sure do!
I work at a pizza place and we sell breadsticks. young couple comes in, lady stares at the menu for 5 mins then asks me... "so, your breadsticks. uh, those have bread in them?" No kidding.
5. No free lunch.
Not to me but I saw it happen to my coworker. I work at a fairly nice restaurant as a server. As with any restaurant we get cheap people who want things for free.
Couple comes in. Busy Friday night. They were sat at a table that had just been cleaned. They sit down, coworker comes out to say his greet. Before he gets a word out the guest begins flipping out. How dare they sit her at a dirty table. My friend has to actually move around the table to see a smudge from the light reflecting off it.
Woman is now irate that he offered to clean it instead of giving them a free appetizer.
She looks at him, 7pm on a Friday rush and says, "if you do not give us our entire meal for free, including alcohol, we're leaving." Keep in mind they haven't even ordered a beverage yet.
Coworker looks at them and says "then leave."
They then try to backtrack and say they want to see a manager. My friend said "No. Get out." And they left.
My friend has worked there for 10 years. Went right to the managers and told them, I backed up his story, we laughed.
When I was a grocery store cashier: "Why didn't you remind me about my coupons before I checked out! The self-checkout always does, so that's your job." They then told my manager that they wanted all the savings to come out of my paycheck even though they were able to apply the discount retroactively and credit her credit card at customer service.
At my NetSec job, after a client fell for a very obvious phishing e-mail, in the middle of the night, and transferred over $100K to a foreign bank account: "Don't we hire you to prevent this! Shouldn't you have kept that e-mail from showing up in my mailbox!" - Yeah, no. Unfortunately we haven't come up with a software solution to staggering stupidity.
7. I.... ummm.....
Working at a chain restaurant, you never know what kind of things are going to come out of people's mouths. I once had a lady that literally said to me, after trying her food, "this doesn't taste like the picture."
8. Help me help you.
Hello, how may I help you today?
Yes I would like a phone charger.
No problem, what type of phone?
I just need a charger.
Yes but I would need to know the type of phone so I can give you the right charger.
I don't know.
......would you happen to have it with you so I may take a look.
Ok no problem, is it by any chance an iPhone? Big circle button on the bottom.
Idk. Listen can you just give me a phone charger.
.-. Ok, gave her a random charger. May the odds be ever in your favor.
9. Ok, deal.
"You'll lose business because of this" (after an argument). Um I don't own the franchise. Please, I implore you, take your business elsewhere.
10. That explains it!
In New York State, you have to have your car inspected for safety. If it's not safe, you can't drive it. I failed a woman's car because her brake pedal goes to the floor, and the car barely stops. She LOSES it, calls her husband who cusses me out.
"You don't know who I know, I'll have your job by the end of the month!" etc.
After about 20 minutes of arguing, the lady calms down and accepts her fate. The conversation goes as follows.
Her: "Are the brakes something the collision shop would check after an accident?"
Me: "Sure, but it depends on where the damage was."
Her: "Hmm, okay. I just got my car back, and they didn't say anything. I crashed into a building because the brakes didn't work."
Me: "Huh, weird."
11. Get your potato mash.
In high school I worked at a burger place which was next door to a chicken place. I was at the counter and a man came storming in with a paper bag in his hand, he leans over the counter and yells "You gave me coleslaw!" I was taken by surprise and didn't really understand what was going on so I asked him "Sorry, did you say coleslaw?" He proceeds to yell, "I just came through the drive-thru and I ordered mashed potatoes and I got coleslaw"
It took so much self-control to not laugh in his face. I kindly told him "Sir, this is a burger place." His eyes got wide, he looks around walks out. I hope he got his mashed potatoes.
12. That's not quite right, sir.
I am a flight attendant and for some reason people on planes don't know what black coffee means. "I'll take a black coffee. With cream and sugar."
'Why won't you give me a military discount! It's a military town!' She wasn't military or military affiliated at all.
14. Not doing much good there.
"Can you fix my tablet it is not working right."
"Ok where is it?"
15. Not well-appreciated.
I worked at a famous sandwich chain when I was 16. A customer asked me the difference between the turkey and ham. I told her the ham was made from pigs and the turkey was made from turkey. She did not like my answer.
Lady ordered fries with no salt. She comes back and complains, "there's no salt on my fries."
17. ONLINE. ONLY.
"Hey I'm on your website and this item that's on sale says its online only, do you have any in stock in your store?"
"No we don't because it's online only."
"But it's on sale why can't I get it in your store?"
"Because it's online only."
18. Yeah if you could go ahead and make the service free... that would be great.
Phone company call center.
Customer: I want my entire bill credited to 0.
Me: We show your service was on and working for the entire bill period. May I ask why you want a credit?
Customer: I didn't have any power so I couldn't use my service.
Me: Our phone service continues to work when the power goes out in your neighborhood.
(FYI traditional copper landlines do work during outages. Plug in a corded phone and you're good to go. Quite a few people don't know this)
Customer: Oh but it was just my house that was out. I forgot to pay my power bill.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am but we cannot credit your phone bill due to nonpayment of your electric bill.
Customer: Well can I get credit for being a good customer?
(Customer's history shows 6 denies for nonpayment in 8 months)
19. It's burnt.
Lady called to complain about her burnt pizza. I asked for her name but couldn't find it among the night's orders. I asked when she ordered and she said, "A week ago." I asked the obvious question, "So why didn't you call back then?" "We went on vacation." I hung up. Whoever came up with "The customer is always right." Must not have worked with actual customers.
I worked at a gas station in Pennsylvania. We don't sell alcohol in gas stations due to the liquor laws in the state.
When told this, a customer remarked "Oh yeah, you're all Amish up here aren't ya?"
I said "yes sir. Genuine Amish cars at genuine Amish gas pumps out side too."
21. He NEEDS to know.
We didn't have a military discount at the store I used to work at. Once this giant of a man tried to convince me to just make up a military discount for him, he even mentioned a few times that it was usually ten percent. He was persistent for a good five minutes, despite me repeatedly reminding him that it would get me fired.
Then finally he leaned over the counter, stared me right in the eyes and said, "how do you live with yourself, you're stealing people's money. How do you live with that?" Then he kept pressuring me to answer how I lived with myself, as if he really needed to know.
22. It's gonna rust...
Worked at a swimming pool store, lady asked why she couldn't put salt in her steel above ground pool, told her salt is corrosive to metal so it would destroy the pool.
"But steel isn't metal."
I would have understood if she was just being pedantic and pointing out that technically it's an alloy of iron and carbon, but no, she just thought it was something else I guess? I basically just ended with "its going to rust don't do it". I would bet she did it.
23. Help me!
I was working the self checkout lane when a customer asked me why his onions weren't scanning through properly. I walked over and saw that he had typed in the word "ONIINS". He went on to insist that our machine was the problem, and that his "ONIINS" should have been free because they weren't scanning.
24. That works.
"Do you guys have to go containers?" "Yes we do, here, I'll grab you one. Is that for a beverage or your meal?" "Oh that's ok, I can make this work" walks out with restaurant plate.
Breaking up is hard to do.
And when you get the law involved, it's even worse. But sometimes people don't need the law's help to make things overcomplicated, they just have a grand ole time making that happen themselves.
People on the front lines of human cruelty include divorce lawyers. These are their stories.